Well, fuck. Yea, I did it again. Wrote a huge author's note and then my damn computer somehow erased it. Since I don't want to write it all out again, here's a quick recap:
-Why haven't I been writing? I'm a lazy piece of shit.
-Something about my colour-coded calendar having no purple on it.
-Something about hipsters.
-Something about...something.
Yep, that pretty much covers it. Oh, yea, and sorry this chapter's so shitty and short. I haven't been writing AT ALL these past few months, so I'm kind of rusty. Enjoy! Or, you know, don't. I don't get paid either way.
"But what if it's not?" I wasn't even bothering to hold back my tears anymore. "You keep saying you're not going to die, but how can you know that?" Malena opened her mouth to answer, but I kept talking. "You can't. You have no way of knowing whether you're going to survive this and you're only lowering your chances by stopping chemo."
For a moment, Malena said nothing. Then she finally spoke.
"I know."
"What?" After all the times she'd insisted she was going to be fine, I'd been expecting another argument.
"I know I might not make it," she repeated. "You think you're the only one who's scared? I'm freaking terrified"
"But all this time, you've been saying..."
"I didn't want you to worry. I thought if I could convince you everything would be okay, it would make it true. I thought if you believed I could get better, I would. I see how dumb that is now."
"It's not dumb," I assured her. "You're tough. I know you won't go down without a fight, it's just..."
"I know. I shouldn't expect a miracle. I promise I'll do my best to stay alive though. But I can't do it without you. We can't keep fighting like this. I need you to support my decisions or this is going to end badly for everyone. Can you do that?"
"Yea," I answered, taking her hand in mine. "I promise I'll do everything within my power to keep you-and our baby-safe."
Bottom AN recap time:
-There wasn't supposed to be a Nico chapter here, but I put one in here to keep things in chronological order. So this one's kind of short.
-I think I have pink eye.
-How I met your mother is awesome
-These aren't really author's notes. It's secretly a blog that I trick you into reading by putting it at the beginning and end of every chapter. :P
-Peace out suckahs!
