Authors Note:
Okay, I'm going to be brutally honest with you guys. There's a very good chance this story isn't going to get done. There's also a very good chance a lot of you are getting tired of waiting around for you and just want to know the ending. Someone suggested I just finish the story off here and write a long epilogue. That was about two months ago and I'm sorry it's taken this long for me to get back to you guys, but I thought I would maybe ask your opinion. So please review telling me which option you would prefer:
Option A: I continue writing. It may take months for me to write new chapters, or it might take days, but I'll try my best to update as often as possible (I have my own apartment now, so that should be a lot easier than before) There's no guarantee this story will ever be finished, but I'll try my best.
Option B: I stop writing here and either write an epilogue, or an author's note saying how I planned for the story to end.
Either way, I want to thank all of you for sticking with me for so long. I've lost most of my readers by now and that's understandable, but it means a lot to me that there's still a few of you reading my story, even though I went back and read everything I've written and honestly, it's kind of a piece of shit. XP
I'm really sorry for making so many promises I couldn't keep in the past. I know it's no excuse, but I've been through a lot. A couple people were worried about me, so I think it's time to tell you all what's going on. In September, I was hospitalized because I tried to kill myself. Most people think it's because I was homeless, but that's only part of it. Three weeks before my parents made me leave home, my boyfriend left for university and two weeks before that I had a miscarriage. Nobody but my boyfriend even knows I was pregnant, so it's been pretty tough. After awhile I just kind of snapped and told my boyfriend that I wanted to be with my baby wherever she was and that if she was nowhere, I wanted to be nowhere too. Then I tried to overdose, but I just ended up with a bad headache, nausea, shakiness, dilated pupils, and some mild hallucinations. It was hell for a few days, especially since the hospital discharged me without actually helping me and I was still suicidal, but it's gotten better since then. When I was high as fuck on all those pills, I yelled at my mom for all the shit she's put me through and it helped a little. Seeing my boyfriend at (Canadian) Thanksgiving also helped with everything. It's nice being in my own apartment too, even though it might be haunted (long story. :P) I've been a little on edge these week though because I thought I might be pregnant again, but the doctor at the sexual health clinic says I'm definitely not. I've been having major symptoms though (I'm talking 3-4 extra inches of belly, sore boobs, morning sickness, super visible veins) but she thinks it's a "false pregnancy" where your body thinks you're pregnant, so it starts producing all the hormones and stuff and you get pregnancy symptoms. Apparently it's more common in women who've had miscarriages. So yea, that was pretty stressful, but I'm glad I'm not pregnant. Plus I scored some free condoms while I was there. Win-win. :P
Again, I'm really sorry for everything. From now on, I'm going to try not to make any promises I can't be sure I'll keep. Hopefully you guys can forgive me. And I know it's no excuse for abandoning you, but hopefully the stuff I told you will at least help you understand why I haven't been around.
