Stan knew that most other people would be unsettled by this. He could tell that Kyle was, sometimes when he got caught up in a moment and reached up to touch Kyle's face, he felt him flinch. Yet he didn't stop, and so neither did Stan. It was such a delicate situation, he knew if he made the wrong move at the wrong time, everything could just fall apart.
He so desperately wanted to talk about it. To Kyle, or to his mom, hell he would even talk to Shelly if he had to. For some strange reason, though, he ended up calling Kenny. It was only after the conversation that he regretted it, and dreaded the day that Kyle got the phone bill to find Stan had racked up the numbers by calling internationally to Poland. The main reason for his regret, though, was Kenny's reluctance to speak to him. He thought back to their conversation...
"Słucham," Kenny's voice floated through the receiver.
"Kenny?" Stan asked, worried he had got the number wrong. Kenny coughed.
"Stan? Hey... Why are you calling? Won't this cost you guys the earth for every minute you talk to me?"
"It... It'll be fine, Kyle's rich."
"Well, what's up? I hope it's something important..."
"I, okay, me and Kyle have been kissing every night, and-"
"What the fuck, are you fucking kidding me, Stan?! You called me up for this?" Stan could hear voices in the background, but he couldn't understand the language. Kenny sighed. "Look, dude, this isn't high school anymore. If someone we know had died I'd understand, but I don't have time for this, I better go," the voices got louder, and Kenny's voice got quieter as he pulled away from the phone. "Jestem już prawie gotowy..." More mumbling. "Nie. Stan, I have to go, don't worry about it, talk to him or something, you guys have gone through bigger things but you're still close friends." And that's when he put the phone down.
Thinking back on it, Stan knew it probably wasn't the best idea to call Kenny. He felt pretty ashamed of himself. There he was, internationally whining about kissing somebody, while Kenny never called anyone about anything. Ever. Even way back in elementary school, when Kenny barely had any food to eat and his parents fought and drank most nights, he never complained.
It was this shame, on top of everything else, that sent Stan back down the slippery slope to the bottom of the bottle. At first, Kyle never noticed because he was away at work while Stan drank himself in to a stupor, but soon the bottles and cans began to pile up.
"Stan," he began the moment he came back in from Facebook. "I need to talk to you."
"Kyyyle!" Stan grinned, hugging his super best room mate. "I need to talk to you too." He slurred. Kyle tried to push Stan off and he stumbled for a moment before finding his feet again.
"This is serious, you need to stop. I know being unemployed is hard, but this isn't the answer."
"Kyle, Kyle..." He hiccuped, "Kyle, no, Kyle... This is like... More than that," he whispered as though it were a secret. "It's bigger than both of us, this... big load of shit..." He scrunched up his face in confusion, trying to decide if he was making sense or not.
"I don't know what you're talking about," Kyle said, his voice an undecipherable monotone, as he picked up the bottles that littered the floor. "But if you're only going to spend my money on alcohol, I forbid you from using it. Nothing comes in through that front door without my permission."
"Jeeeeez, okay... Relax... You sound like your mom." Stan swayed slightly, and Kyle dropped the bottle he was holding before straightening slowly, his breath coming heavy and fast out of his nostrils. He reminded Stan of a bull, and this made him giggle. Unfortunately, Kyle was not amused.
"Is this funny to you?!" he glared daggers at his best friend.
"You-you're funny when you're angry. I'll kiss... Kiss your frown, turn it upside down!" He raised his hands, convinced this was what Kyle wanted to hear. It wasn't.
"Go to bed, Stan, you should rest." He said through his barely contained anger.
"Mmmake me." Stan teased, sticking out his tongue. Kyle felt tempted to rip it right out of his mouth. Instead, he just grabbed Stan's elbow and dragged him to his room, all but throwing him down on to the bed.
"Sleep, or just relax, anything, I don't care, but the next time I see you you better be sober." He ordered before stomping away. Stan lay on his side as a few tears slid down to his pillow, overcome by a mix of tiredness and drunkenness bringing upon him a burst of emotion.
"I'm sorry Kyleeeeee." He sniffed, wiping his nose clumsily. Kyle stopped in the doorway and looked back at him sympathetically, though his anger was still there.
"Alright, tell me that when you wake up, okay?"
"Can you kiss me?" He looked up at him with what he hoped was an innocent, pleading expression. Kyle shook his head, and Stan looked ready to cry again.
"If you ask me again when you're sober, I'll consider it..." He sighed deeply through his nose and turned to leave. "Don't lie on your back." He added before shutting the door. Stan wiped away the stray tears and soon fell asleep.
Meanwhile, Kyle made his way to the living room and switched on the TV, burying his head in his hands in frustration and letting out a muffled sound, a mix of a groan and a cry. He had hoped Stan wouldn't revert back to his old ways, and truth be told he had expected a little bit of kissing every night of the week might have made him happier. It was making Kyle happy, even though his mind was fighting against it for everything he stood for. Why couldn't Stan be happy, too? That's all he wanted.
Kyle peered through his fingers at the TV, his vision blurred by the pressure from his fingers. The words Jersey Shore: Russia appeared on the screen and in a flash Kyle switched the channel over, not wanting to get involved with that train wreck in any way. Eventually, he settled on a movie to pass the time. The Perks of Being a Wall Flower. He had never watched it at the cinema, so he decided now was a good time if any.
As the movie progressed, he found himself engrossed more and more in the story. At first he thought it was just another teen high school movie, but it was proving to be so much more.
"I know I'm quiet, and I know I should speak more, but if you knew the things that, uh, that were in my head most of the time you'd know ... What it really meant ... How much we're alike, and, and that how we've been through the same things. And you're not small, you're beautiful."
Kyle watched as the main character, Charlie, leaned forwards and kissed his best friend/girlfriend Sam. The main character reminded him of Stan. Maybe Stan wasn't always a quiet, shy guy, but he was just as sensitive. They even looked similar. Kyle would have laughed if Sam physically resembled himself, too.
When the movie ended, Kyle sighed, satisfied. It had managed to calm him down a lot, and it had definitely lifted his mood. However, there was a slight worry at the back of his mind. What if Stan did really turn out like Charlie? He knew that creative people tended to have problems with depression and other related things, but could there really be things going on in Stan's mind that he didn't know about? He thought back to what Stan had said earlier, about the reason for his recent drinking. It's bigger than both of us. What did he mean?
He decided to put it aside, knowing that he would just become frustrated again, because he might not know his friend as well as he thinks he does. He waited for the next movie to begin, clearing his mind and thinking about nothing in particular while the commercials played. Stan didn't wake up again until halfway through the second movie, Titanic (what's with all these romantic movies?), and he seemed sober. Groggy, but sober.
"Hey..." Stan mumbled with a voice thick with sleep, holding a hand to his head.
"Sobered up?" Kyle asked, cutting to the chase.
"I think so," Stan said as he sat next to Kyle. "Why are you watching Titanic? I thought romantic movies weren't your thing?" He asked, gesturing weakly to the TV. Kyle shrugged.
"It's either this or I watch the new Jersey Shore cast freezing their asses off in Russia."
"Ah, okay, no need to explain." He said with a slight wince. Kyley-B was not a side of Kyle he would like to see again in a hurry.
They sat in silence for a while, awkwardly watching the screen as Rose stood on the railings with her arms wide. Stan grinned and decided to break the silence.
"I'm flying, Jack!" He imitated her with a high pitched voice, Kyle turned to Stan and gave him a strange look. Stan places his hands on Kyle's shoulders. "Come Josephine in my flying machine going up she goes, up she goes." He sang to Kyle at the same time that Jack sang to Rose. Kyle finally laughed.
"You know the words to this movie, how many times have you watched it?" Kyle asked, not pulling back.
"I don't know... A lot, you know I love it."
"Yeah, I know." He gave a short laugh and turned back to the screen to see Jack and Rose kissing. He shifted slightly, and Stan looked at the screen too. Eventually, Stan looks back at Kyle. He remembered Kyle had said he would consider kissing him if he asked him again when he was sober, but he hoped that maybe it would be okay if he didn't ask. He never asked all the other times, but then that was always at night, not in the evening... Would this be crossing boundaries?
He kissed him anyway. It was short. Kyle pushed him away and looked as though he was about to shout at him, but then he decided against it and turned back to the movie, completely ignoring what had just happened.
"Sorry." Stan whispered, and he could see Kyle smiling in acknowledgement like he knew exactly what Stan was apologising for.
By the time the movie ended, Stan was in tears once more.
"Dude... You cry-"
"Every fucking time," Stan finished for him, "I can't help it!" he laughed through his tears. "She dies at the end and meets up with him again at the clock!" Kyle snorted.
"Well, at least you're comfortable enough around me to not hide your girly emotions."
"Hey," he said with a stuffy nose. "It's not girly to be in touch with your emotions." He poked Kyle in the shoulder, Kyle just shrugged and stood up.
"Well, I'm going to bed..." He looked down at Stan expectantly, wondering if he should say something. "Are you?"
"Yeah, though I don't think I'll sleep for a while, not when I just got a few hours..."
"No..." Kyle looked down at the floor and then towards the hallway. Without another word, he walked towards Stan's room and sat on his bed, waiting. About a minute later, Stan walked in. He barely hesitated when he saw Kyle on his bed, but Kyle could see it, like Stan was expecting Kyle to skip out on the kisses tonight.
He made his way over to Kyle and lay down on the bed without a word, Kyle twisted around to look at him for a moment before standing up and turning around completely and sitting on Stan's middle. He placed his hands on his friend's chest and leaned down, readying himself for the kiss.
Tonight's kiss seemed different than all the others. He couldn't stop himself from thinking back to that scene in Perks of Being a Wallflower, though he had no idea why. For starters, that kissing scene was different because it was a kiss to mark the beginning of a relationship. This kiss was definitely not marking the beginning of anything, at least, not anymore.
The next day at Facebook was tense. Not that it wasn't always tense, what with worrying about making the right impression in the hopes that he could get a permanent job from this, but the PA who always got on his nerves seemed to be getting worse with each day that passed. She would come in in the morning with coffee and muffins for the rest of the staff, and then she would linger at his table for the next hour while he tried to work. She sometimes even cut in to his lunch break. Four weeks down, eight left to go.
"So, how's it going with the roommate?" She asked as she sat down on the edge of his desk.
"I've told you, he's not just a roommate." Kyle mumbled while he frowned at the screen, typing and clicking quickly.
"What, like, you're butt buddies or something?"
"No," Kyle clicked a few more times and sighed, his frown deepening as he turned to her and sipped his coffee. "And I'd appreciate it if you didn't call it that."
"Fine, gay life lovers then. Still, moving all the way from Florida just to live with you, and he's gay..."
"And he's my best friend, and his only other option was to live with his mom." Kyle put down his cup and turned back to his computer, considering this conversation over.
"You should have got a girl roommate." She said, waving her hand around as though it weren't an important topic. Kyle grunted but otherwise ignored her, remembering how, before Stan moved in, she used to hint that she could move in with him, no matter how many times he tried to tell her that spot was reserved.
There was silence for another few minutes, the only sound was the tapping and clicking of the other workers echoing around the large room. It was quite a nice room, in Kyles opinion. He was expecting a room cramped with office cubicles and filled with noise, but this spread out, quiet atmosphere was just perfect. Everyone else was friendly, even the boss. Though he wasn't letting his guard down too much, just in case it was a test. This PA was the only thing he didn't like about the place.
"Shouldn't you be, like... Doing something else?" Kyle asked after she hadn't moved for about ten minutes.
"Oh, no, if I'm needed someone will come and get me."
"Right..." He supposed it didn't really matter that much if a PA didn't show initiative or seemed eager to work, because it wasn't much of a risk to her job whereas, for example, if Kyle decided to sit around doing nothing he could expect to get a warning, and for a bad mark to go next to his name.
She hung around for a bit longer until one of the supervisors came over and asked her to come and help her with some task, Kyle wasn't sure what exactly because he was too busy concentrating on his work. He didn't see her again until the end of the day, when she was waiting by the entrance of the building. Kyle frowned when he saw her.
"I thought your shift finished at two?"
"I waited, I wanted to see if you wanted to go for a drink, or something. I know how stressful this job is for you and I just thought... You need to unwind, I'll treat you to a few drinks or something." She smiled. Kyle was wondering what he should do. He's never been asked out for drinks by a girl before, it's always been him that asked, which in itself was a rare occurrence. He assumed, though, that a girl asking a boy out was not the norm. He had no reason to say no, and she seemed a little... Unsettled, who knew what she could do if he refused her. She could put his job at risk, she could say anything.
"Alright... I guess one drink couldn't hurt." He attempted to smile back at her. As they began to walk to the nearest bar, he got out his phone and sent a text to Stan to explain.
Kyle
PA asked me out for drinks, couldn't really say no. She's crazy dude, she could claim I forced myself on her at work if I refuse :/ sorry man, but I'm not risking it. There's lasagne in the freezer though :) x
Stan
K x
Stan sent his reply quickly, heading over to the fridge and inspecting what drinks he had left. Knowing it would be his last chance to drink his problems away, and this was strangely a big problem to him, he grabbed the six remaining bottles with difficulty and retreated to his room, intent on not leaving it for the rest of the evening.
Kyle, meanwhile, was regretting his decision to accept the PA's offer. He didn't even know her name and yet she had managed to buy him more than one drink, plus the short message from Stan was playing on his mind, and this frustration was causing him to kick back more drinks. The fact that he was being a hypocrite was far from his mind.
"I don't know your name, why are you so obsessed with me?" Kyle asked after his third drink.
"My name is Laura, and I'm not obsessed with you, I just like you, maybe I want to kiss you." She smiled with fake shyness. Kyle frowned. She was anything but shy, she was scarily confident in her advances. He felt sick.
"You don't want to kiss me." Kyle said as he happily accepted his fourth drink... Where did that come from? He didn't think about it too much before he downed half of it.
"Oh, I think I do."
"Hmm..." Kyle hummed, staring down in to his glass. He had never been able to hold his alcohol well, and he could already feel the room beginning to spin. "But I've kissed a boy, you don't want that." He said after a few minutes as he looked up at her. Laura pursed her lips, looking almost angry. She swept a strand of her dark, short hair away from her face and the anger was gone.
"It was Stan, wasn't it? It's okay honey, you can still have me." Kyle was getting really confused now. He wanted to have her? When did he say that? He knew he was quite drunk by now, with the combination of having finished four glasses already and not eating for a long time, but he didn't remember saying he wanted her...
"Can I? Do I want you?"
"I think you do." She said deeply, putting a hand on Kyle's knee. If Kyle squinted enough, she almost looked like Stan with her short hair and blue eyes. Suddenly, he wanted to kiss her.
"Come Josephine in my flying machine." Stan mumbled to himself, lying on his bed with the empty bottle that had contained his last drink resting on his stomach. He hiccuped. The front door opened. Stan stopped humming and got up from his bed, swaying as he walked to his bedroom door. He could hear voices down the hall so he opened the door slightly and looked out through the crack, noticing that Kyle had returned and he wasn't alone.
"Thanks for inviting me inside." It was a girl's voice. Stan frowned, Kyle was with a girl? His frown deepened when he remembered that this was why he was drinking.
"Did I? Oh, um, but that's okay... I wonder where Stan is..." Stan could tell Kyle had had a bit too much to drink too.
"Shh, let's not think about Stan, I want a tour of your apartment. How about you show me your room?"
"Oh... Alright..." Kyle led Laura down the hall, and Stan stepped back from his door, hoping that he wouldn't be seen. He heard Kyle's bedroom door open and close, and he decided it was safe enough to leave his own room. He went in to the kitchen and got a small glass cup, returning back to his room. He knelt up on his bed with some difficulty, trying not to drop the glass. He placed it against the wall and pressed his ear to it, listening to what was happening in Kyle's room.
"Fuck me." Came the girl's voice.
"Huh, what?"
"You said you wanted to sleep with me."
"I did? No, I'm sure I would know if I said that."
"Then kiss me, you've kissed me enough times tonight."
"You look like Stan when I squint at you."
"Huh, so that's what you were doing... Well, whatever works for you, would you have sex with Stan?"
"I... No! Of course not! Definitely not... No, I don't think so... I don't... Hmm..."
"Then what about me?"
Stan pulled the cup away, not wanting to hear any more of their conversation. He carefully but clumsily put the cup down on his bedside table and slumped down on his bed, curling up. He could feel that horrible mix of drunk and tired hitting him like it always did, making him bubble up with emotions and cry. He fell asleep with his head resting upon a damp pillow, the muffled sounds of movement floating through the walls.
Chapter song is Drunk by Ed Sheeran. If you're curious about last chapter's song, it was Kiss Me Slowly by Parachute, but as I said not all the words fit.
This is the longest chapter so far, so I hope it's good :D I only spent two days writing it, but it took the rest of the week to plan it out. Hope you like the little appearance Kenny makes. There will be more of him in the future chapters, along with other characters. Don't worry, I haven't forgotten about them! Oh and if you haven't watched Perks of Being a Wallflower, Wikipedia should tell you all you need to know. As for the Polish, I hope you didn't check Google translate because I want to keep Kenny a mystery for now. And yes, Jersey Shore: Russia is just a joke xD
