11
Lanie waited until well into the afternoon before she brought Kate her breakfast. It wasn't that Kate wouldn't have got up for it whenever she brought it – Kate never seemed to have trouble getting out of bed. But Lanie knew how badly she slept even when she wasn't prowling the streets at night, and tried to encourage her friend to spend longer resting. Kate was completely alert and jumped out of bed as soon as the door to her room opened.
"Took you long enough," she said with a rueful smile.
"You have to sleep and you know it."
"I'm not tired..." Kate was well aware of the fact that she sounded like a whining child. Lanie laughed.
"You'll burn out."
"No I won't," Kate argued, grabbing her coffee and beginning to drink it even though it was really too hot. "Lanie..." she began after a few sips.
"Yes, Kate?" Lanie asked with a raised eyebrow.
"Lanie... What should I wear to dinner with Castle tonight?"
Lanie laughed again. "I can't believe you're asking me this."
"Why not?"
"Because even on the rare occasion that you are interested in a man, you never look for my advice about it."
Kate sighed. "This is different. And I'm not interested in him. Not exactly."
"You can keep denying it all you want. You should know, though. He's interested in you."
Kate looked hard at her friend. "No he isn't."
"Yes, he is. The way he looks at you..."
"That's just him being a little... fanboy, because of the whole Lady Beckett thing."
Lanie rolled her eyes. "Right. Of course it is."
"Look, Lanie, I just can't. He's got his daughter and I've got... everything. It wouldn't be fair to him."
"But you agreed to let him shadow you while you work."
"He fought me for it. I lost."
"Katherine Beckett, there is not a man in London you couldn't beat in a fight with both arms tied behind your back. If he won, you let him."
Kate blushed a little. "I... look, he might be useful. He was, in fact. And he's good... He's a great fighter and he's strong and agile, as well as hugely intelligent. Plus, he knows people I don't. He has the ear of the king. He'll be helpful."
"And it doesn't hurt that he's easy on the eyes and a total charmer."
"Stop it. It's not like that."
"I know. But there's a part of you that wants it to be."
"Lanie... Even if I did want that kind of relationship with him, and he did with me, it just wouldn't work. It's too complicated. I can't deal with that right now. It wouldn't be fair to either of us, and it could only end badly."
"Girl, I'mma smack you. You are human, and you need a man in your life, and not just to keep your bed warm either."
Kate reddened again. "Look, I'm not judging," Lanie said. "I'm just saying, maybe it would be good for you to be with someone you actually have feelings for, for a change."
Kate sighed. "It's..."
"Complicated. I know. You said. Honey, it always is."
Kate got out of bed and pulled a face at herself in the mirror.
"It's not going to happen, Lanie," she said, still looking at her reflection. She downed her coffee then put down her empty cup on the windowsill. Lanie picked it up; Kate gently took it from her and put it back.
"You're not my slave, Lanie," she said. "I'll take it and wash it when I'm dressed."
"Well then," Lanie said, picking up the tray. "If I'm your equal, will you at least think about what I'm saying?"
Kate turned and looked her friend straight in the eye. "Lanie Parish, you have always been my equal, just as you are the equal of every person on this planet. And of course I'll think about it. I'm already thinking about it."
She pulled her into a hug and Lanie hugged her back. She was a strong woman but she had been beaten down so much, sometimes it was hard for her to remember how free she was now.
"You should wear the black one," she said.
"Which black one?" Kate asked. She went over to her closet. She was currently dressed in only a loose white shirt; her legs looked endless. When she'd seen herself in the mirror, in a way she'd wished she could just see Castle like this. That would be one way to hurry things along.
"The new black one," Lanie told her. Kate laughed.
"I should have known. Lanie, I don't even know why I bought that..."
She took out the dress in question. It was shockingly low cut, much more daring even than the red one she had worn to the ball. It was less fashionable... and there was far less of it. It had a v-cut neck which reached at least as low as the bottom of her ribcage; the back was high but it wasn't something she could wear out out. It was sleeveless... she had come up with the design herself when, for once, she'd collected a reward for catching a criminal. She had enough money and the police usually paid her something for bringing people in. But this had been far more than she was used to and she had decided to treat herself.
"I can't..." she said, but she took it off the hanger and held it out in front of her.
"Remember the best thing about it," Lanie taunted.
"No corset..." Kate said wistfully. "But... no. I just can't."
"You could."
"But... Alexis."
"Alexis will love it. I love it. Anyone who sees it on you will love it."
"That's not true. They'll think I'm... I don't know. They'll think badly of me."
"Castle won't. And the others don't even know who you are."
Kate winced at the harsh truth of this. "I hope that they still know me. I try to be myself, even though they don't know my name or what I do... I try to still be me."
"And I'm sure you are. I just mean... They won't judge you for this. They'll just be impressed."
Kate looked at the dress again. "I suppose I really should wear it somewhere other than here. To make it worth the money..."
"That's my girl," Lanie said. "Are you doing anything else today before you go to his house?"
Kate shook her head. "No... Maybe some reading."
"You're going to read his book aren't you?" Lanie asked with a grin.
"No..." Kate lied.
"I see right through you. Have fun." Lanie walked out of the room and Kate sighed, picking up Castle's latest book and finding her place. She sat down on her bed and began to read. It was getting very... interesting.
Derrick grabbed Clara's hand and pulled her up the stairs with him.
"There is only one way they're going to think we're not investigating this," he warned her. Clara raised an eyebrow at him.
"Oh? And what is that?"
He chuckled and spun them into a side room. "They have to think we're lovers."
"Lovers?" Clara asked, shocked. "What kind of woman do you think I am?"
"I think you're one of a kind... Kate."
Wait, what was she doing? Imagining herself as Clara and Castle as Derrick? She got up off the bed and locked the door of her room before she'd really processed the thought. She sat back on the bed and grabbed the book, colour rising to her cheeks as she read on.
"You're right there, Rick," she said softly. The door clicked behind them as he pushed her into it; Kate felt him pressing into her as he leaned in to turn the key in the lock.
"They are listening outside," he whispered in her ear.
"So... what do you expect me to do?"
"We have to... They have to believe we are-"
"Rick, I am not going to-"
"I know! You just have to, you know... sound as if you are."
"Sound..?"
Rick winked at her and let out a quiet moan. "Kate," he muttered. Soon Kate was copying him, the volume of their little performance increasing until they heard first chuckles, then fading footsteps, outside the door. When they were sure their audience had dispersed, Kate sat down on the bed – they were in a small bedchamber – with her arms folded.
"You told me we were going to a party. You said nothing about... all this."
"I thought we were. But you care about justice, don't you Kate?"
Kate had to nod. As much as she disliked his haphazard methods, she had to say he did get the job done.
"Why did you agree to come here tonight?" Rick asked. Kate coloured a little.
"I... I'm not sure. To be with you, I suppose."
"I'm very glad you chose to come. Why did you want to be with me?"
Kate paused. Rick was standing in front of her; she looked up at him but there was no longer a need to speak. She tilted her neck and he bowed down to kiss her softly on the lips. She was breathtakingly beautiful; her long brown hair tumbled around her shoulders as his skilful hands snaked around her back and undid the bow that fastened her dress. Despite the elaborate fastenings he had freed her in minutes. He knelt down in front of her and she gasped a little as he moved his mouth from her lips to begin at her ankles.
His light kisses worked their way up her long, elegant legs as he pushed aside her light white under-dress. She groaned as they reached their inevitable destination; his hands also doing their part in worshipping her body as her hips rose instinctively at his touch.
Rick caressed her as though it was their last night on this earth, as though she would never know another man and he wanted to give her a memory that would last beyond her death. And Kate felt that at this moment she would be happy to die, if only to remain in his arms for the rest of her existence. Her pleasure grew and grew, she caught fistfuls of the sheet on the unfamiliar bed in her hands and began to wish for more, even more, something which she could not have because they were going to live. He knew what she wanted and comforted her gently.
"One day," he murmured. "But let's get out of this mess first."
She laughed, the motion causing a wonderful sensation for both of them. He drank in her happiness as though it were the elixir of life; she screamed for him to take everything he could-
Kate threw back her head but clenched her lips together, knowing no one could hear the name that was on them. Her body rippled with little aftershocks but there was an edge of pain to them. She did not often do what she had just done. And she had never done it while thinking about, and reading the words of someone she knew. Someone she respected.
That wasn't really the worst of it, though. In a way that didn't matter much. It was more that... She could no longer deny it. Though she could deny herself, she could not deny that she had the desire. That she wanted him.
As she wiped the traces of her pleasure off her fingers, she sighed at the knowledge that, though she was satisfied for now, there was nothing quite like the real thing. And even the real thing with someone like Josh could not even compare to the real thing with someone like Richard Castle.
A/N: And there, ladies and gentlemen, is your M rating. Thank you very much, please review. I'm gonna go... over there, for a bit. I'll come back sooner if lots of people ask me (hint hint). Love you! xxx
