12

Richard groaned.

"What is it?" he mumbled. Alexis sighed at him from the doorway.

"Dad, it's almost five o'clock. Sara will be here soon and you're not even dressed yet."

"Go 'way, I'm tired," he complained, putting a pillow over his face as she drew his curtains and let sunlight flood into the room.

"Dad, you've been asleep all day. What time did Sara leave last night? Don't tell me. She left soon after I went to bed but you stayed up all night working on a book."

Richard blinked as he forced his eyes to adjust to being open.

"Yes," he said. What he had been doing could be called work. He had been doing research. He didn't lie to Alexis. He never had; not even the little 'white' lies adults often tell children. He wanted her to be able to trust him completely, and he knew that she would never lie to him either. But Kate's secret wasn't his to tell. He was grateful that Alexis had thought up a fairly accurate explanation on her own; she just didn't know where he had been working. Alexis made a face at him.

"Well it's your own fault that you're tired. Come on. You have to get up."

Richard groaned, but threw off the covers and got himself out of bed. Alexis left him to get ready.

A bath, a shave, and a set of clean clothes later, he was ready to go downstairs. He had dressed for dinner already; he laughed to himself. He would have to get better at staying up late; he'd lost a whole day because of his adventure the previous night. Alexis was waiting for him in their preferred living room.

"Where's your grandmother?" he asked her, looking around expectantly.

"She went out to dinner at a friend's. She said to tell you good morning, and to say hello to Sara for her."

Richard nodded.

"And what have you been doing today?"

"I did some reading, some music... and I was practising."

"Practising what?"

Alexis looked a little embarrassed. "I was trying to do some of the fighting tricks Sara could do."

Richard smiled at her. "You don't need to be embarrassed about that. If you ask her I'm sure she'd teach you them properly."

Alexis smiled. "I hope so."

She stood up and Richard saw that she was wearing another new dress. It was pretty, a pink thing that somehow managed not to clash with her hair. Alexis saw him looking and twirled around.

"Do you like it? I'm not sure about it now. But I thought since it's only Sara coming I could wear it and see what you two thought of it first."

"I think it's lovely. What did Grams say?"

"She said that I should wear bright colours more because I'm a Castle and I should stand out from the crowd."

"That has always been my mother's philosophy. To me you always stand out, though."

Alexis smiled. "Thanks Dad. But you're useless with clothes. You always tell me I look good."

"You always do look good."

Alexis sighed, knowing she wouldn't get anywhere with him. She hoped Sara would be more help. There was a tap on the door and they both turned around to see their butler open it for Kate. Richard gasped when he saw her; she looked... ravishing. Her hair was up; the dress she wore was like nothing he had ever seen.

"Your dress..." Alexis couldn't help saying.

"What do you think?" Kate asked a little nervously.

"It's... amazing," Alexis said. "You look amazing."

Kate blushed. "Thank you."

Richard just gaped at her. Every time he tried to say something the words just got caught in his throat. He was only just remembering to breathe. Her shoulders, her collarbone, her... chest. The dip of the v of the dress that drew his eyes. The black against her almost golden skin. The little tendrils of her brown hair curling at the side of her face. Her never-ending black eyelashes that matched the deep black silk she wore. The little smile she had as she watched him stare at her. The bones of her face. Her long, strong arms. The long legs he knew were hidden under her rustling skirt. The way she bit her lip because he had been looking for too long but she liked it...

"Sorry," he spluttered. She laughed lightly.

"I'm just glad you like it, and didn't throw me out of the house."

"Throw you out? We're never going to let you leave!"

Alexis smiled, feeling rather awkward. Her father had practically been drooling. He still nearly was.

Kate tried not to blush even more. She felt naked, and it wasn't because of her daring dress. She tried not to think about earlier, but somehow she felt as though he would be able to tell what she had done just by looking at her. Part of her liked it. She felt... fun. Outrageous. Crazy. He was looking at her as though he wanted to tear the dress off her and take her right there. Well. He might wait for Alexis to leave the room. Kate had to smile at that. Poor Alexis.

"I love your dress as well," Kate told her. "The colour looks fantastic on you. You wouldn't think it but... It really works."

Alexis grinned, especially at the honesty of her friend.

"Did you have a good day?" Kate asked her. They were soon discussing the merits of the book Alexis had been reading, and after a few minutes Richard was recovered enough to speak as well. Aside from several sideways glances at Kate's dress, he managed to control himself for the entire meal. He didn't talk much; he was still fairly tired. Kate seemed happy to focus on Alexis. He wondered if she was annoyed with him, but he was mainly relieved that he didn't have to try to keep up a conversation.

Kate noticed that Richard was still tired. She found this rather sweet. He was so new to everything... but she could tell he was going to stick at it. There was a rush... she had felt it the first time she'd caught a bad guy, and she knew he had felt it too the night before. She was glad he didn't seem up to speaking much. She didn't think she would be able to keep... his book, out of her mind. She focused on Alexis. She liked the girl a lot. She felt so guilty for still being 'Sara' with her, but she was as honest as she possibly could be. She had a lot in common with the teenager.

When they were back in the living room Richard went to the piano to play something quietly, successfully excluding himself from conversation. Kate and Alexis continued to talk. Kate wished there was another way but she just coudn't see it.

"Sara?" Alexis asked her suddenly.

"Sorry – what?"

"I'm going to go to bed," Alexis said pointedly. She lowered her voice. "Once I'm gone, either do something about how you feel, or stop looking at my father like that!"

Kate's eyes widened. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to-"

"Yes you did. I don't mind. I... you're my favourite out of every woman he's been interested in. And I know you're interested too. I mean, you wore that."

Kate blushed, but she was smiling.

"You've seen through me. But... it's complicated."

Alexis shrugged. "I don't know much about complicated. Goodnight, Sara."

"Goodnight," Kate said quietly as Alexis went to kiss her father on the cheek, then left the room.

And then they were alone. Kate stood up, not really knowing what to do. Richard stood up too and moved out from behind the piano. They just looked at each other. Kate knew Richard had been ogling her all evening but what he didn't know was that she had been ogling him. The way his breeches fitted him, the muscles of his arms... Suddenly she walked briskly towards him. She was a woman of action. She stopped just inches away from him and looked up to fix him with a steely gaze.

"No," she said simply. "Not today."

"Why?"

This was harder, but she managed to explain without getting emotional.

"Because I am not stable. I will not be good for you, and you have a daughter."

She sounded so cold. He couldn't accept what she was saying, though.

"You will be good for me. You are good for me."

"Castle, you've known me for one weekend."

"More than a weekend. A good three days. And, so?"

"So... fools rush in." It sounded lame to her even before she said it, but she had no intention of backing down.

"Sometimes," he said. He was happy she was close. So close he could smell her, taste her... "You smell like cherries," he murmured. He felt as well as saw her jolt. He grinned at the effect he had on her. He might have been single for a while, but he was no stranger to picking up women. And this was a women he very, very much wanted to pick up. And then throw down onto a bed...

"I won't do it."

"You want to."

"I... that's neither here nor there." She couldn't lie to him. She'd had enough of lying.

"Why shouldn't you? I wouldn't be needy." Kate laughed a little at his pleading face.

"You're being needy now."

"Different kind of needy."

"Do you need to be my friend or my lover, Castle?"

"Both," he answered instantly.

"And if you had to choose one?"

"Now, or in general?"

"You can give me both answers."

"In general, friend. But.. now? In that dress? Kate, you're no novice. You knew what wearing that was going to do. So if you don't want it, why did you wear it?"

"What I wear shouldn't have any influence on what you expect from me."

"In principal, in other situations, I agree. But you wore this to an informal meal. And it is very..."

"Very what?"

"Exciting," he said with a smile.

"Thank you."

"Always. So – why did you wear it?"

Kate grinned. "Maybe I like to see you squirm."

Richard grinned back. "Maybe you do. But you're squirming too."

"And do you like that?"

"I do. Although I feel at a disadvantage."

"Oh? And why is that?"

"You let me win the fight. You're always in control."

"I did not let you win." Forget not lying. That was something she would never tell him.

"Yes you did. You're too good."

"And you don't think you're better?"

"I may come across as arrogant, Beckett, but I'm not stupid. You let me win because you like me, because you wanted me to work with you."

"You're free to believe what you like."

"And you're free to lie as much as you want. To yourself, too. But when it gets too much, I'll be waiting."

"Don't hold your breath."

"I don't have a choice. You're breathtaking."

"You can play with words all you want. The dress is staying on."

"Good. It looks far better on you than it would anywhere else."

Kate laughed, but it was partly to disguise her more serious feelings. She didn't know what she was doing. He might think she was in control but it was all just a front. Underneath the mask she was flailing around, desperately trying to decide what she ought to do. Until a few days ago she had been drowning, and Richard seemed a lot like dry land. She couldn't leave him. She didn't want to in the slightest. But... she was broken. Starting anything with him would be horribly selfish and unfair.

And she was afraid. She didn't know what would happen. She didn't even know what it felt like to be with someone she felt this strongly about. She had never really felt this way, if she was honest with herself.

"Your brow furrows when you're thinking..." Richard commented. "It's cute. What are you thinking about?"

"Lying," she answered shortly.

"Lying to me or lying to you?"

"Both."

"Let me tell you something true."

"Go on."

"You want me to kiss you," he said, bringing his face down so their noses were almost touching. "More than anything. Every hair on your body is standing on end, your heart is starting to beat faster, your hands ache to touch me just as your lips ache for mine." He was so close now he was speaking into her slightly open mouth. "You want this. You hate yourself for it but it isn't weak. And you feel guilty, but it isn't selfish. Because I want it too. Everything you're feeling, everything you're trying to deny... I feel it too. You think this is a bad idea. But you know what?"

"What?" she whispered.

"You're wrong," he said simply, then crushed his mouth to hers. She arched her back and stood on tiptoe as he pulled her close; she ran her hands into his hair and felt his hands move into hers as well. He tugged out the roll on top of her head, dropping the pins on the floor. Kate was so alert she heard them tap on the floor – a light ringing which Richard's kiss made continue in her ears for several minutes. When they finally broke apart, gasping for air, Kate had to sit down. She was completely dazed. She felt so alive...

"Goodnight," Richard said suddenly. Her eyes snapped to him. He winked at her. "You can show yourself out. We're even now."

She stared at him blankly.

"I really did win that one," he explained, then left the room. Kate just sat there, staring at the empty space where he had been, wondering where the hell Lady Beckett had gone.


A/N: Thanks for reading and for all the reviews for the last chapter! Love you guys! Please review this one, and HAPPY APRIL 1ST! I hope you enjoy all the wonderful things in store for us today...

Also - I've tweeted a picture of the dress. My twitter name is the same as on here, if you're interested in seeing it or just want to laugh at my pathetic drawing, go for it!