18

A/N: I have nothing left to say to you but this.

And whatever is in all the chapters after this one.


Richard looked like a little boy on Christmas morning when he climbed back through the window four hours later. Kate was lying in bed; she let her eyelids droop so he wouldn't think she'd been waiting for him so enthusiastically. He jumped on the bed beside her.

"I brought you something," he said happily.

"Oh yes? What?"

"Not telling. It's a surprise."

"I don't like surprises."

"You'll like this one, I promise."

"No I won't."

"Try it."

She sighed. "Fine."

He grinned. "Close your eyes and open your mouth."

"What?"

"It's good, I promise. I wouldn't put anything in your mouth I wouldn't put in mine."

Kate raised her eyebrows. "You're like a puppy. What wouldn't you put in your mouth?"

"Trust me."

"I don't trust you."

"Yes you do. Close your eyes and open your mouth."

Kate did as he said. She didn't know why, except she wanted to know what the surprise was.

"Wider," he said. She could hear the smile in his voice. She opened her mouth wider.

"And... don't bite down."

"Don't bite down? What?"

"Look, I just don't want you to choke, okay? Open your mouth again and don't bite down."

Kate did as he said. She was actually doing what someone told her to do. What was he doing to her? What was she letting him do to her?

She felt him put something in her mouth and then grinned as she tasted it. She opened her eyes to find his inches from hers.

"It's chocolate," she exclaimed with her mouth full. "Thank you. Want some?"

He smiled. "I told you you'd like it," he said, leaning down to bite the square in half and give her a long, chocolatey kiss.


"How was Alexis?"

"Fine. She's looking forward to seeing you tomorrow."

"I'm looking forward to seeing her."

Kate could feel herself falling asleep with her head on his chest. His breathing was slowing too. She listened to his heartbeat and felt as though hers was timing itself with his. He was so alive. They were both so alive.

But he was so innocent. So warm and safe... Like a little boy. So good. She felt as though she was drinking it in, all that goodness. It was hot and gold and flooded through her body like a magic potion that made her toes tingle.

"You have to go," she murmured. He stroked her back with his hand, tracing patterns along her spine.

"No I don't," he whispered. "I'll go in the morning."

Kate knew she should argue but she just didn't have the energy. Or the inclination. Her innocent little boy. Whom she was corrupting. She kicked herself. Not now. Not tonight. Couldn't she just not think for one night? Have one night where she just curled up in the arms of someone who cared about her without worrying about consequences or guilt?

If she told him to leave the bed would feel empty all night. And he would be sad.

But if he stayed...

"What are you thinking about?"

"Nothing. I'm not thinking?"

"Yes you are. You were relaxed; now you're tense. You're trying to hide it but I can tell."

"How?"

"You're avoiding the issue."

"Answer the question or I'm getting up."

"Well..." she could tell he was a little uncomfortable.

"Castle, I know you've been with other women."

"I know. I just... I've been with too many, I think."

"I'm not judging."

"I know. I just... I don't want you to think that you're... one of them."

Kate was glad he couldn't see her face, because the smile that crept to her mouth was not the smile of someone who wasn't emotionally attached. Maybe not so innocent, then.

"So..?"

"So I know when a woman's trying to hide when she's upset."

"I'm not upset."

"You're worried. Stressed. Something not good. What?"

"I... It's nothing important."

"You can tell me. It might be good for you."

"I've done just fine not telling up until now."

"Have you?"

She bit her lip. "Of course," she said.

"You're a terrible liar."

There was a pause. "Only to you," she said finally.

"Tell me," he said gently. He made it so tempting. So reasonable.

"I... You're too good for me," she whispered.

He shoved her off him roughly. She had not been expecting that. Neither had he, from the look on his face. Definitely not innocent. He took hold of her upper arms and pushed her up the bed then looked down at her, very close to angry. Yet another layer. Another side she hadn't seen. Another side to cherish.

"Don't ever say that again," he said, his voice low and dangerous. She blinked and narrowed her eyes. He might be compelling but she wasn't giving in that easily.

"You are," she said firmly.

He kissed her hard, holding nothing back, not gentle, certainly not playful. She moaned softly and felt her insides turn to jelly. He took his mouth off hers.

"Far too good..."

He got off the bed and began getting dressed. She sat up, confused.

"Where are you going?"

"Home," he said shortly.

"What? I thought you were staying."

"I won't make you uncomfortable."

"You don't."

"I was. You have some messed up idea about me being too good for you which is not only absurd but-"

"You're really angry?"

"Yes! I'm really angry!"

"But I... I just meant-"

"How can you be so strong and yet so clueless at the same time?"

"I'm not clueless."

"You are. You have no idea... no idea. How good you are. You're... brilliant. You do more than anyone, you help so many people. No one is too good for you."

"If you don't like what I think I don't have to tell you."

"You should tell someone. You should tell them so they can tell you that sometimes, you're wrong."

He had stopped getting dressed. She was standing in front of him, wearing nothing, staring him down, stubborn and proud.

"What makes you right and me wrong?" she asked.

"Nothing," he said. "But I am right."

"I know what I am."

"Then you must have a bizarre idea of what I am."

Kate continued to stare. She knew he would break. She took a step forward, closing the gap between them; she put her hands on his chest, keeping her focus on his eyes. He put his hands on her hips.

"Do you want me to stay?" he asked.

"You know I do."

"Want to know how to make me?"

"I already know," she said.

"You going to do it?"

"Not sure yet."

"Let me persuade you."

"You think you will?"

"Oh, I can be very persuasive," he said, guiding her back to the bed. He nudged her knees apart with his and sat her down on the edge of the bed. She blushed.

"What?"

"Just... might have done this before."

"Was he good?"

"It was you."

"Kate, I, ah, think I would remem- wait – you mean you..?"

Kate grinned. "Might have been."

"Was I good?"

"Excellent."

"Remind me to ask you afterwards if this me is better."

"I think you'll remember."

"I think so too."

He waited. She lay back and thought. Or rather, tried not to think. It was funny how effective he could be by doing nothing. He saw her tense and put his hands on her knees, using them to push himself up to catch her eye.

"Magic words, Kate."

Kate looked him up and down.

"Priceless."

He smiled. "Who?"

"Everyone."

"And who in particular?"

Kate bit her lip. He really thought it. He really did. She wanted him so badly. Not just in that way... She wanted him to be pleased with her. She wanted him to smile at her, to praise her, to be proud of her, to feel like he had helped her...

"Me."


A/N: It's a short chapter but I needed to write. Thank you for being here to read. Reviews are shiny; so are you. Lots of love xxx