After David the next person to come to the kitchen was Becky. She took one look at her dad and ran to him. Dan had to brace himself to keep from falling over in his chair.
Becky hugged him surprisingly hard. "Honey, daddy needs to breath!" He said to her, acting like she was a little kid.
"Sorry." Becky let go, and sat in the chair next to David.
"I thought you weren't coming home until tonight Dad." Dan leaned back in his chair and held out his hands.
"Well so did I."
Jackie put a plate stacked with French toast on the table. Dan, Becky, David and D.J. all grabbed a plate and took two slices. Jackie gave everyone a cup and filled the glasses with orange juice.
When Dan reached for the plate, he felt something in his pocket. He took it out and realized it was the picture he drew of his truck. He handed it to David.
"Here David, I drew you something." David unfolded it and got a weird look across his face.
"It's a picture of your truck…" David said puzzled.
"In crayon!" Dan said obnoxiously happy. The others looked at Dan oddly, that was strange.
David folded the piece of paper and put in his pocket. He was oddly touched by Dan's present.
Darlene came in next. She saw her dad and just looked at him. "Hi dad." She said, aware that everyone was staring at her.
Dan stood up to mess with her. "Awe Darlene…" He hugged her. Again he was acting strange.
"I love you dad." She said in his ear.
"I love you too." He said.
Jerry started to cry so Dan went upstairs to take of him.
Once he left the room, everyone stared at each other.
"That was just…weird." David said afraid to use any other word.
"Yeah I know. Dad can be weird sometimes, but that thing with the picture was just creepy…"
David looked at Darlene. "You didn't tell him did you?" David started to think Dan's strange behavior with the picture was some odd response to him and Darlene's big announcement.
Darlene snarled. "No David I did not."
"Tell him what?" DJ asked.
Jackie quickly changed the subject. "Geez, is Mark going to sleep all day?" She asked
The family brushed that off and ate. Jackie saw that there was no way she made enough French toast for everyone so she went to work on another batch.
Dan took Jerry out of his crib. "Shhh….It's okay baby. Daddy's here." He said carrying Jerry to the changing table. He took off his son's pajamas and started to change his diaper.
Mark walked in enough to see it was Dan. He leaned against the door frame watching Dan.
"I'm glad you're back Dan." Dan looked at Mark. Then grabbed Jerry's Chicago Cubs onesie and put it on him.
That onesie had gone from Becky to Darlene to D.J. and then Jerry. One time he put it on Little Ed after he couldn't resist the urge to put it on all the new Conner kids. Another time he couldn't fight the urge and put it on Angelina, but he quickly took it off her since Roseanne told him that Crystal was coming a minute later.
Mark saw that Dan's mind was somewhere else and went downstairs. "I'm glad you're dad is back." He said to Becky who was chewing French toast.
"Me too." She said with her mouth full.
Darlene had eaten her breakfast quickly and headed up stairs while she knew her dad was alone. She wasn't looking forward to telling her dad the big news but she knew she had too.
Dan had just done the last button on the onesie, after serious resistance from Jerry who was a well flexible wiggle warm.
Dan looked at Darlene and smiled. He picked Jerry up and carried him on his shoulder.
"Dad I need to talk to you." Dan studied Darlene's face and new it was bad news. Throughout the years he had grown a sixth sense when it came to his kids. Although his sixth sense had nothing on Roseanne's.
"Oh yeah? What about?" Dan just stood there and spoke with a sort of naive tone.
Darlene could find no words to make it easy on her dad she just came out with it, ready to pounce if the shock of it all caused him to drop Jerry.
"Dad I'm pregnant."
Dan's reaction was very controlled. He said nothing and carried Jerry downstairs and to the kitchen. He gently and carefully placed Jerry in his high chair and then asked David to follow him. David was understandably scared, but did what he was asked.
Everyone watched these events unfold in disbelief. Would Dan kill David? That was everyone's question. Jackie remembered how screwed up Fishers face looked after Dan beat him up, but then she remembered the talk they had in the bedroom and felt better because Dan expressed remorse for his actions.
At the same time Darlene remembered the time her dad caught her and David making out in the basement after he kicked David out of the house. Her dad lost control and took David and yelled at him while smacking him on the head before he launched David in to the door. David's only saving grace was her mom.
Dan thrust open his truck door and David climbed in imagining his very painful death at the hands of the same man who once kicked him out of his house for living with his daughter in Chicago. David slid across the seat scared out of his mind.
"Oh god, oh god, oh god." He muttered crying.
Dan leaned over and put his hand on David's shoulder. This made David jump violently.
"Relax." Dan commanded firmly holding his palm flat in the air to signify David was safe. "I aint going to kill you. I think that both parents should be a part of their kid's life." This settled David down as he realized that's exactly what Darlene said.
"You're not?" David was skeptical.
"No. Felt like it for a split second, though." Dan had his hands on the steering wheel but didn't start the truck.
"Then why did you manhandle me?" David's tone changed from scared witless to gruff and brave.
Dan thought it over for a minute. "You see David; I am a 6 foot three and 310 pound man with two daughters. I have to do something physical to keep myself from doing something worse…" David listened, but this explanation made no sense to him.
David's conscience told him that saying this next thing was a bad idea, but David said it anyway thinking he was still a man on death row.
"You seem to do something physical to me a lot." Dan stared at him expressionless and then pulled his truck keys from his pocket and started the truck. He said nothing until he was pulling out of the driveway.
"You're right David. But that's because you're unfortunate enough to be closer to me than drywall every time Darlene is concerned."
When Dan said that it made sense to him why he could see marks on the walls by Dan and Roseanne's bedroom where it looked like they'd been repaired many times.
Dan drove without saying anything to David. David became concerned that they were driving in the direction of the Mississippi River.
Dan's demeanor had changed from mad man who was dragging David to calm man who was completely cooled down. Still David was defensive. David remembered a movie about a 1930's screen writer who moves into a hotel in L.A. The man befriends his neighbor, a very likable and energetic salesman who reminded David of Mr. Conner. In the movie people begin disappearing and dying and the killer turns out to be the guy's neighbor at the hotel. The neighbor goes crazy and lights the place on fire and kills two police officers, before going into his room like it was any other day even though the fire was raging.
David had seen that movie, and thinking that the killer looked (and sounded) like Mr. Conner had given him nightmares even though despite a few certain events, Mr. Conner had treated David like a son.
Dan pulled off the highway and drive to a subdivision. David was perplexed while the feeling of impending doom left him because surely Mr. Conner wouldn't kill him here?
Dan parked in a strange driveway hopped out, went to the door, and knocked. A lady answered and seemed happy to see Dan. Dan went in and didn't come back for another ten minutes. David used this time to consider his options, but decided to stay despite both the good angel and the devil telling him to RUN!
Dan came back out holding a small metal box. David had a strange feeling as to what was inside the box but tried to not to think about it because Darlene said her dad knew how to use one…
Dan started the truck and pulled out of the driveway. He drove for 45 minutes until they reached a patch of woods. Dan got out and when David didn't because he was frozen with fear, Dan went to the passenger side door and opened it. David climbed out of the truck; sure his life was coming to a quick, bloody, painful end…
Back at the house, the sisters, Jackie, Mark and D.J. paced and fidgeted.
"Shouldn't we call the police?" Mark asked sure his brother was a goner.
"Dad won't kill David." Darlene said matter of factly.
"How are you so sure, Darlene?" Marked asked, getting in Darlene's face.
"He wouldn't do that to me." Darlene said without changing her attitude.
"Do you think dad will kill David?" DJ asked Jackie.
Jackie remembered the stuff that she talked about with Dan. Dan did have a lot on his mind…
Meanwhile Dan put his arm around David and carried the black box in his other hand. David just walked quickly remembering the best memories he had.
When they came upon an open field with cans and soda bottles and all kids of targets at the other end, David wondered if he was to be a target.
He waited for Dan to take him to the other side but Dan let him go and opened the black box. To David's horror he took out a pistol.
"Oh god you are going to kill me!"
Dan shook his head. "I am not to going to kill you David. This is a clip." Dan held up a clip of rounds. "You put rounds in the clip and then snap the clip into the handle." Dan demonstrated as he spoke. David became confused at Dan's intentions.
"Now a round is the bullets. Not all guns take the same caliber of bullets, and not all guns have the same amount of bullets per rounds. After you put the clip in the handle you cock it like this." Dan cocked the pistol. "I assume you know how to fire." Dan pointed the gun at a distant target and fired. David fell on the ground, from both surprise and the impact of the echo.
Dan held the gun in his hand and lowered it with it pointed away from himself and David.
"Your turn David." David swallowed. He was led to believe that it was his turn to fire the gun, but there was also the possibility that Dan meant it was his turn to be the target.
Dan held the pistol by the barrel with the handle towards David. David stood up and took it shaking.
David's shaking reminded Dan of him, but made him thinking about that. "David I AM NOT going to kill you." Dan said slowly.
David suddenly believed him and stopped shaking. Dan put his arm on David's back to keep David from falling back from the force of the gun. David pulled the trigger and the gun did nothing.
"Cock it, David." David took his left hand and cocked the gun. When it clicked David held the gun up and pointed it at a rubber target that was made to represent a duck. David swallowed again and started sweating. David pulled the trigger.
The sound from the gun echoed through the woods. David lost his balance but was kept up by Dan.
He looked at Dan, holding the gun down and away from himself.
Dan took the gun from David and placed it back in the box. Dan stood up again and put his arm on Davids shoulder.
"Sorry I made you wet yourself David." Dan said, and the two men walked back to the truck. David smiled as he realized he did all that worrying him to death for nothing.
"What just happened, David happened to me in 1974 when Mr. Harris learned that Roseanne was pregnant. I was led out of the door by shirt; I was left in a truck by myself to think of an escape plan; I was fooled into thinking I was going to be used as target practice. You see David. Mr. Harris was teaching me how to protect my family. Which I've now taught you."
The family was still fighting on whether or not to call the police when Dan and David came through the door. Their faces expressed no emotion whatsoever, Darlene grabbed David's chin and moved it from left to right, searching his face for distinguishable marks. Darlene saw no marks, and then studied his hands. "Take off your shirt David, I want to see the belt marks." Dan glared at his daughter.
"I did not hurt him." Dan said defensively.
"He's right he didn't." David said.
Mark came over to his brother. He looked into his brothers eyes, said nothing and walked away.
D.J. also looked at David close up. "We thought you were so dead."
Jackie just watched this and asked to talk to Dan in the bedroom. "What'd you do Dan?"
Dan smiled smugly. "Why is everyone convinced I'd kill my daughter's boyfriend?" He said sitting at the foot of his bed.
Jackie just looked down at her brother in law. Dan was still smiling, and Jackie gave up and walked out of the room.
