On Saturday, the family dressed in black for Roseanne's funeral. Bev had originally scheduled the funeral for Tuesday, but decided to change the date to Saturday after her grandkids pleaded with her to do so for their dad. They told their grandma that should the funeral be on Tuesday, all three of them would never speak to her again and convince Jerry that she was the devil (which they were already doing anyway).

Jackie and Darlene were dressed in the same dresses they wore to Al's funeral, and so were the boys. Except they had to buy D.J. a whole new outfit since he didn't fit in his old clothes at all. Becky and Mark also had to buy new clothes because they didn't attend Al's funeral.

Dan sat in his bedroom scared to death. He had started shaking again, and he seriously considered breaking into the liquor cabinet (The night of the accident, Jackie had downed every can of beer, leaving the fridge empty of beer) and drinking himself drunk so he would stop shaking and could get through the funeral. He paced the room shaking; he pulled out the prescription pill bottle and struggled to read the label. He was finally able to get through the tiny words. When he read it took an hour to take affect he opened his closet, and felt around the top shelve.

He and Roseanne had a bottle of Jack Daniels hiding in there for when the last kid moved out and they were finally alone. The bottle used to be in the liquor cabinet, but when Becky and her friend raided it, they moved that bottle to the closet and put a lock on the cabinet to be safe. Sure the cabinet was locked, but if his sons really wanted to break into their they would find a way, after all they were Conners.

Dan opened the bottle and drank straight from the bottle. His shaking stopped and he felt the alcohols effect taking place. He smiled, and drank it more.

Jackie came in to see what he was doing and was pissed. "Dan what are you doing?"

By now Dan had downed 75 percent of the bottle. He smiled and laughed a deep gut wrenching face contorting laugh. "Having a good time with my pal, Jack!"

Jackie stood there pissed at Dan. This did not seem like Dan at all. She'd seem him drunk plenty of times, but not like this.

She found her anger at Dan fading and went to him.

She pulled him into the bathroom sink and pried the Jack Daniels from his hands and dumped the rest down the drain.

She handed Dan his tooth brush and told him to brush his teeth. Dan giggled as he squeezed the toothpaste and totally missed the bristles.

"Oops…" He giggled.

Jackie rolled her eyes and squeezed the tooth paste on his tooth brush herself.

Dan put the tooth brush in his mouth and moved it around. "Why bother? People will know I'm drunk anyway…" He said with the toothbrush still in his mouth.

"Because I'm getting drunk just by smelling your breath." Jackie stated matter of factly.

Dan smiled again and spit into the sink. He wiped his mouth on the hand towel, something Roseanne had yelled at him a thousand times not to do.

Dan followed Jackie to the living room, where everyone was waiting to leave. DJ watched the way his dad walked and knew instantly he was drunk.

"Dad your drunk!" Dan looked at his son and then roughed up his hair.

"No I'm not. I'm just happy."

At the funeral home people showed up from the corners of the earth. Crystal and Ed showed up with Lonnie, Angelina and Little Ed. Leon showed up with Scott, Bev showed up of course, Chuck, Chuck Jr, and Anne Marie showed up, all of Dan's poker buddies showed up but stayed in one group the whole time, Nana Mary showed up and jumped in the tactless punch bowl with Dan, friends from the Lunch Box showed up plus neighbors from Delaware street.

When it came time for the eulogy and speeches, Jackie found Dan literally hanging off Chuck and George He was singing "Riders in the sky" loudly and out of tune. Normally he had a great voice and sang in tune. But the alcohol changed all that too. The men found Dan's behavior hilarious, Jackie did not.

"Dan it's time to make your speech." Jackie grabbed Dan and led him to the front of the room next to the casket, with the help of his friends. Once he was at the front of the room, Jackie and the men took their seats.

The kids sat in the front row next to their significant others and watched their dad make a fool of himself.

Dan hated speaking in front of a crowd, but didn't mind it today since he was drunk. He looked at everyone then cleared his throat and tried to present himself in a mature manner.

After a minute of silence he spoke. "Ladies and gentleman, my wife Roseanne was killed by a drunk driver. There's a lesson to be learned from that; don't drink and drive. We married right out of high school and didn't really know what we were getting into. In the course of our marriage I have slept on the couch 32 times, I counted. Roseanne had given birth to our four kids the first being born in 1974 and the last being born in 1996 on Halloween of all nights. That's three decades of kids…" Dan started to lose his train of thought and his slurring became more and more noticeable. "Anyway I love Roseanne and she will always be in my…uh heart." Dan got a weird look on his face and rushed off stage.

Darlene went after him, and watched her dad go to a trashcan in another room and throw up.

"Want me to get you a soda?' She asked.

Dan looked at Darlene. He had said very little to Darlene since he found out about her pregnancy.

"No, soda and Jack don't mix well in my stomach…" Dan threw up again.

Darlene started to walk away but Dan started to sober up and called for her to stay.

"I'm sorry I haven't been talking to you, Darlene."

"I know dad."

Dan felt like he wasn't going to throw up again, and leaned on a wall. "I know you are planning on marrying David…" Dan looked Darlene in the face. She told him she was pregnant but not that she was marrying David.

"How…?" Dan cut Darlene off.

"Parents know things. You don't have to marry him just because you're pregnant."

Darlene looked at her uncomfortable dress shoes. "I know but it just makes sense."

Usually when Dan was pissed at the world about his kids decisions Roseanne was there to cool him off, so Dan decided to tell Darlene directly how he felt.

"Darlene I love you, but I don't know if I can watch you throw your life away."

Darlene got defensive. "What do you mean? Are you saying you want me too not have my baby?"

Dan shook his head hard. "No, no, no. I am not saying that. I am just saying that I think that you shouldn't marry David just because you're pregnant. Hold off the wedding until you're sure you want to marry David."

Darlene listened to her dad. "I think that marrying David is the best thing for me and our baby."

Dan shook his head. "Okay. I can only support you in your decision. But if you ever need anything, money, time away from the baby…or David. I will be here for you, after February that is."

Darlene looked at her dad quizzically. "Why February?"

Dan couldn't look at his daughter when he said; "I'm checking myself into rehab. That's why I got drunk for my wife's funeral. I had to stop the shaking…" Dan walked away, without looking at Darlene. Darlene felt that her dad's words were more to himself than to her.