SM64: He's just a little Koopaling, after all. ^^


For the first time in my life I am not lying next to Ludwig or Lemmy. My second oldest brother is not a little, scaly warm ball to the left, and my oldest brother's hair-smelling, um; hair is not to the right. I can't sleep in this creaky, sterilized bed. My room smells like iodine; sickening; the odor is making my stomach turn. At least Mr. Muffin is soft and smells like Lemmy's drool.

The morning comes. It's impossible to know, seeing as the blinds are on the outside of the window. A nurse comes in to undo my restraints. When my wrists are free I am so full of thankfulness I vomit all over her shoes.

I'm shivering, because I'm frightened. The ward is so big, so chalky white and open; and there's nothing to hide behind. It's cold too.

There's a large plastic potted plant in the common room which is empty. The problem is that it's already occupied by someone else.

"Taken," she barks and her voice is cold. She scares me; all girls scare me. I'm not ashamed to admit it. But I can't control myself any longer. I cry.

Tears get caught under the rims of my glasses. I hate that, so I cry even more. The Koopa girl's eyes are darting across the room. "What are you doing? Shut up! Butt head!"

"I'm sorry," I sob and hide my face in my claws. "I can't help it."

Her snout puckers and she is no longer harsh. "It's OK. Why are you upset? Ass!"

She makes me think about it again, and the tears make my head pound. There's even a lump in my throat.

"Because I'm all alone in this place. And I'm so far away from home." I have no idea why I'm telling this to a perfect stranger, but I really can't help it, you know…

"That goes for everyone here, Koopaling," she says. I stop crying and look up.

"How do you know I'm a Koopaling?"

"Your spiky shell, dumbass!"

Her name is Shelly. She's nice to me and takes me on a little tour of the ward. There are pretty things in here, but the rooms are so white and cold I can't get past it. I sit down.

On the door to the nurse's station there's a big poster of the ward's rules.

No spitting

No swearing

No clawing

No stimming

Absolutely no discussion of the outside world

Absolutely no discussion of treatment

The record player is off limits to residents

The creativity room is off limits to residents

The television set is off limits to residents

Any violation of these rules will result in any necessary disciplinary and safety action taken.

"What does the last one mean?" I ask Shelly. She's about to answer when there's a big commotion by the living room TV.

The "resident"; a Koopa boy who reminds me about Lemmy is restrained by the nurses. Shelly ducks behind me, and I see it as my duty to protect her.

The little Koopa fidgets. "I don't understand why I can't watch the news!"

"It's not on your schedule, that's why!" The Koopa Troopa nurse clicks her pager, and the door to the nurse's station swings open. Doctor Clawdia comes jogging out on her ridiculously high heels, drawing a syringe and an ampulla from the pocket of her lab coat.

The Koopa boy screams in terror as she approaches. I'm not sure if it's the doctor or the shot he is scared of. Doctor Clawdia stabs him in the arm and the medicine is injected in a nanosecond.

I'm expecting the boy to fall asleep. But he doesn't. He just zones out. His eyes are vacant, and his mouth becomes too heavy to keep closed, so he lets his lower jaw drop. He looks more like a vegetable than a Koopa.

Doctor Clawdia returns to her office. As she passes us, Shelly looks away.

"We have our own set of rules," she mumbles. "They're simple. Don't ask your parents to bring you stuff from the outside world."

It's sad how the vernaculars used by the staff of this place have wormed their way into Shelly's vocabulary.

"It'll only get confiscated. If you want anything, ask Koopie Koo. She can get you anything; except the key to this rat hole. I gotta warn you though; she's kind of a hugger. For each hug she doles out she has to spend one hour in restraints, so don't overexcite her."

What fresh hell is this?

"Second rule. Never trust Doctor Clawdia. She's Satan in knockoff Dior."

"She seemed nice yesterday…" I don't get to finish my sentence before Shelly covers my mouth with her ice cold hand. "I repeat, don't trust her. If she gets inside your head you're screwed. She'll make your life miserable in ways you can't imagine."

The Koopa boy who was so fond of watching the news is now in a wheelchair. Someone has put a towel on his plastron to keep it from being drenched in dribble.

"Is that one of the ways?" I ask. The sight is more disturbing than any changing face.

"It is. Which brings us over to the third and most important of all. Never ever let any of the orderlies see you cry. Your tears are their excuse to zap your brain. Do you understand?"

I nod. Now it's 8. 30 in the morning and someone announces breakfast time.

Shelly points me in the direction of the cafeteria. "I hope there are muffins today."

I've been placed on a bench next to Shelly and a bunch of strangers and now I stare angrily at the nurse who has reached me a tray containing eggs and toast. Do they expect me not to jump up and bite them in the face? How dare they?

Breakfast is the most important meal of the day. So they say. I wouldn't know; seeing as I've never eaten eggs or toast before. The whole meal ritual is one I tend to avoid. You know, Koopas faces change when the owners eat. Sometimes I'm really, really hungry… but if food changes my face, then I may not be who I am, or the food could be poisoned. It's that simple. King Dad doesn't understand, neither does Mama Koopa. Roy calls me "nutterbutter", but Ludwig actually understands. When he's not too busy being snobbish and pretentious, that is.

I let my fried eggs and toast remain fried eggs and toast. For our common convenience, the Koopa boy to my left has his name, "Koops" written on the sleeve of his gown. He is attempting to drink tea, and that's as far as my patience goes.

"Poison!" I push the teacup right out of his hand, and the piping hot liquid lands on the floor.

"Aw, man!" Koops brushes tea from his arm. I stare at him. For some reason people find me staring fixedly at them unnerving. It's my face, isn't it? It is! It is!

"What's going on here?"

It's Doctor Clawdia, just happening to walk by. Everybody in the packed cafeteria quiets down.

"Nothing." Shelly grabs some napkins and cleans up. "Iggy just spilled some tea."

Clawdia ignores her; instead, she turns to me. "Iggy, would you like to come and talk with me today?"

I stare at her. "No, I don't want to talk with you. You're mean. Go away." I shake my head.

"No?" Doctor Clawdia is so patronizing and false an infant would have seen through her. "We'll have you bathed. Maybe you'll feel better afterwards."

The nurse from earlier this morning has managed to clean the vomit out of her shoes. I can only guess that she'll have bigger trouble trying to get the half-inch deep fang marks out of her shoulders.