A/N: Nope. Not dead. Yet. But as you can see, yes, I changed the pen name. Apologies for the long hiatus, took quite a long time for me to get my momentum back. For those who are still following this story, stay with me a little while longer. This story is going to end soon.

Thanks to those who reviewed!
Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto and any of its characters


Anko squinted into the darkness of the training ground, and the darkness stared back right at her. But she wasn't afraid of it, rather she was more concerned of what is in it. The place was silent, and even though she had made sure to control her breathing, she wasn't sure if her target couldn't hear the loud reverberating of her heart throwing itself against her ribcage. Sweat dotted her forehead, but she made no move to wipe them away, taking care to stay stock still.

But her eyes were alive, darting about, observing the shadows. Watching. Waiting. A slight movement, and Anko lunged towards it. Her hands flitted through the hand signals, and snakes shot out from under her sleeves, cutting through the air and striking the shadow that moved.

The shadow dissipated, and Anko heard something cutting the wind behind her even before she saw it, allowing her to throw herself aside before a long blade sliced the air where she was a second ago, nicking her on her right arm, sending a hot ribbon of pain from the wound. Her shoulder grazed against the cold hard concrete of the floor, and her teeth clenched against the pain.

Just fifteen minutes into their fight, and Anko felt worse for wear. Orochimaru was coming at her with a viciousness she wasn't sure isn't real. Gone was the playful smirk she had started to get used to, the snide remarks that he would throw out to rile her up. He was in a strange mood now, and Anko wondered, not for the first time, if she would get out of this alive.

But Anko did not have the time to dwell on it as Orochimaru darted towards her, Kusanagi already fully retreated into his mouth, irises a glint of dangerous gold. His hands flashed through the seals, and Anko's eyes darted to the part of the ground she was on.

The concrete was bubbling now, and even though she could not see it, she knew that it was turning into a shade of murky brown. Swearing aloud, Anko leapt up and extracted herself from the sticky mess just in time as a barrage of kunai rained on the spot she was at scant moments before.

Orochimaru was prepared, having predicted her move, and he shoved her against the wall, caging her in.

"Shit, get off me!" Anko yelled as she struggled against Orochimaru, bucking her hips to throw him off, fighting against his hand holding her wrists together. She tried to knee him, but he pushed her leg aside, forcing his shin against her thighs.

Anko yanked her hands once more, but the cold kiss of steel against her sweaty throat made her still. Her breath stopped, and her blood ran cold, like ice water surging through her veins. She knew how he could make it stain red with just a twitch of his fingers.

"Tell me, give me a good reason why I shouldn't go through with this." His voice was harsh, sharper than the edge of the blade he held against her throat, echoing in the training arena where it is just him and her. Then Anko made the mistake of looking into his eyes. And Anko could not look away, could not bring herself to. Not when what she saw made her heart skip a beat.

Somehow, she just knew. Protecting her from Kadaj, giving her -an enemy- better treatment than majority of his soldiers, holding her close... And the final piece of the puzzle -not being able to kill her now- clicked in place, as she stared into his eyes.

It was a sea of gold fury, the heart of the strongest blaze, a burning abyss of madness and depravity in it's purest form, and the black in his irises, the burnt ashes of sanity long gone.

Anko haven't been the same since coming here. All her emotions and her thoughts were out of control. But she wasn't the only one, was she? He couldn't help it either. She isn't alone.

Good lord, she is still in love with this man. This insane, twisted, fucked up, god-forsaken man, she still found him captivatingly beautiful even now. God help her.

And so they both stood there, looking into each others eyes, a warped version of a fairytale never meant to be.

After a while, Orochimaru broke the silence first, his words so soft, Anko thought that she may have made up the noise in her head.

"Dammit..." He released her hands, and Anko's arms fell back to her sides.

"Orochimaru," Anko said hesitantly, as she reached out to him. "Are-"

"Dammit!" He hissed through gritted teeth, swinging the kunai and embedding the blade into the wall with a thud, inches away from Anko. The momentum caused his hand to slide further down the blade, and blood dripped from the fresh cut, but his grip only tightened around the blade.

Anko darted a worried look towards his wound and back at the man. "Hey, Orochimaru," She tried again.

"Just go." His voice came out hollow, head bent and turned away, his hair shielding his face.

Anko simply could not take it anymore, and she gave him an angry shove, her anger getting the better of her. "I hate the way you avoid this, Orochimaru! You are keeping me here for a damn reason. You know what it is. Why the fuck can't we just sit down and talk about this- Whatever this is!"

"I said leave!"

A cold fist gripped Anko's heart, as she stared at him, the haze of anger gone as fast as it came. Her voice was barely above a whisper. "So this is what you choose?"

This time, Orochimaru looked at her, a painful smile twisted on his face, an emotion -barely discernible, one Anko couldn't quite place- in his eyes. "This, is how it should be, Anko."

~.*~.*~.*~.*~.*~.*~.*~.*~

Anko sank into the bath tub, indulging for once. She had left the training arena, after that. After the tedious ups and downs of emotional hurdles and surprises, she felt strangely numb to it all now. As if she was watching the disastrous life of another person, she felt so detached.

Anko hissed as the warm water touched her wounds and sore muscles. It was painful. But, pain is good, she thought as the wounds throbbed. This is good.

Kept her mind away from how much it fucking hurts.

He didn't deny what she said, but his parting words weren't that optimistic either.

Hell, in this situation, she did not know if she should laugh or cry. Anko felt the coming of a bout of hysteric laughter, and she let herself slip under the water for a while. To keep her sanity, she told herself.

Maybe this is the wake up call that she nee-

And suddenly, the cursed mark flared, molten pain surging from her shoulder, like someone was shoving a red hot poker under her skin. Anko sat up. Or tried to. Her heart quickened, as her body refused to respond. She tried to push, but her arms refused to move. Tried to yell, but her mouth refused to open. Tried to kick but-

It wasn't rocket science, the conclusion that she came to.

Shit. She was going to drown in the bathtub.


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