Disclaimer: I own nothing except my own characters.
Note: I like this chapter. I hope to push out more chapters tomorrow. Happy reading! Thank you again SiobhanPhelps for constantly commenting, I love the surprise and interest you show. And that you to all the others who have read/glanced at this. I live for comments, just as SiobhanPhelps. =)
Bottled Up Feelings
"I heard what happened" he finally said when I managed to pull myself together, at least a little.
"I should be asking how you are," I replied as I wiped my eyes, just then realizing I hadn't asked him since his fall.
"You've had other things on your mind" he reminded me as I tried to nod. "So, what else has been on your mind?" he asked trying to sound casual about it as he folded his arms over his chest.
"Well, Matt knows Madison is Burnner" I said, then remembered I hadn't told him. As if to confirm this he looked entirely shocked.
"Not the one who tried to kill you, right?" he asked as if there were some other crazed psycho Burnner bitch out there. I shuddered at the thought.
"Yes, her, she's back, I saw the first day of school—"
"Hang on, you saw her and you didn't tell me?" he asked starting to sound accusingly but must have remembered I looked like crap. "Why didn't you tell me?" he asked as I gave him a meaningless shrug.
"I thought I was crazy, Fred didn't seem worried and no one else saw her like I did" I told him as he snorted.
"Fred is an idiot" Draco said simply as I let out an unintentional laugh.
"Anyway, Matt thinks Burnner has some kind of psychic creepy connection on us" I said as I then realized I hadn't told him about the game. "Right, er, Courtney hates Melinda, Melinda hates Courtney, if they went at it they'd destroy each other, none of wanted that to happen so Matt 'Sealed' me or whatever and then we acted out our little argument before the game to distract Melinda but it worked a little too well because she almost hit and then we found out Burnner was actually Sealing me once I broke the Seal with Matt" I sucked in as much as I could, I wanted to continue my rambling afraid if I stopped I'd start crying.
"Why did Matt Unseal you?" Draco asked, the only thing he was slow to pronounce was the word Unseal, I was honestly surprised how well he was taking this all. Though if I had to guess it would be because of the breakup.
"He didn't, I broke it, when you fell I broke whatever Seal he had in place and apparently he never Sealed Fred because Fred didn't agree and his feelings are too strong to have any influence over" I explained as Draco frowned.
"Right before I took that hit, I…I remembered thinking what if Courtney hit her? What if she died?" he had to flex his jaw a few times as he cleared his throat. "I didn't want anything to happen to her, I didn't want to lose her" he said.
"Yeah, but Draco, I think that was just how you felt about her, not anyone's influence over you" I replied as he shook his head.
"Courtney had been hitting on me, still, for whatever reason and I liked it—for whatever reason—but during that game…" he shook his head.
"So you think you were either Sealed to Courtney or Melinda on purpose?"
"Yeah but then again, I haven't given anyone my permission…" he said.
"If you're influential enough you don't need it" I said though I was mostly guessing. "We can't look into this. I suggest if we have any questions we just ask Matt but I doubt he'll like" I said.
"I wish you'd leave Matt out of all this…" he said but I felt myself glaring at him, our family moment ending.
"He's helping and he's my friend." I stressed as Draco rolled his eyes.
"Guy friends are never just that. Take a look at Melinda and George, they're together and everyone thought they were just gonna be friends" he said as I bit my bottom lip. "What?" He asked.
"They, er, they broke up…" I told him looking away. Sure Melinda might feel a little betrayed and angry when she found I told Draco almost instantly but if I wanted to Draco to be happy—one of us had to—the sooner he knew the better.
"What?" he asked, his voice full of surprise.
"They broke up" I repeated. "Don't act like it's such a surprise" I told him.
"Well, I mean, they were getting along fine" he said though he seemed surprised he was saying that. "When?" Draco asked. I sighed, might as well continue now, I thought to myself.
"After the game…I was on my way to see you and Melinda came up and told me he wanted to be friends—what, he did—and then we sat with you until I flipped out and left" I said with a shrug. I did not need to be reminded of that. Fred's pained expression. Stop thinking. I warned myself.
"Wow, I wonder why…" he replied. I stared at him with wide eyes as if not believing I was related to someone so stupid. Really Draco, really? I said to myself as he looked at me, still clueless.
"If I had a bag or book I would beat with it, seriously" I told him in a very flat, very serious tone as he frowned. "Melinda still cares about you." Dumbass. I added to myself as Draco continued to look at me with confusion, like he didn't expect it. I wanted to mention the vision I had, but thankfully I heard footsteps.
"Oh" Pansy said stopping as soon as she realized I was there. "What are you doing here?" she asked as if she really had no clue.
"Having a chat" I said simply.
"Hmph" she said as I rolled my eyes.
"He's my cousin, I can do what I please" I told he as I spun around to face her when she snorted and snickered and made a suggestive face—even though it looked more like she was about to vomit slugs. "What was that?" I asked pointing out my wand as she seemed to take a step back only to pull out her wand.
"Is there a problem?" I looked to my left, the direction of the voice, and was annoyed and furious Burnner was standing there. I turned to look at Draco, try and make a hint that he should be defending me but he seemed to go sheet white, his eyes practically bugging out his head. Great. I thought to myself as I turned my attention back to Burnner.
"Allen was trying to pick a fight" Pansy was quick to say pointing a fat finger at me as I rolled my eyes again.
"All I was planning on doing was setting you on fire" I told her glancing at Burnner, seeing the reaction I expected, a flash of darkness and hatred and then the average looking professor everyone had grown to call Professor Madison.
"I think you should be in your own common room, I assumed you might be tired from a late night and Quidditch practice" she said just as slyly. I twitched a bit, she knew. Of course she knew. Even if she didn't have her own inside source the whole school knew.
"I think you're right" I said kindly as I quickly turned and walked off.
I have expected Draco to follow but I knew he was rooted to the spot. I half expected myself to go back and check on him but I kept walking. Where was I going exactly? Maybe I could find Melinda, apologize to her. Or Matt and complain to him, he listened, if anything he was good at listening. Or I could try and convince Lee to talk to Fred. As if he heard my thoughts Lee came around a corner. "Hey" he said happily, relieved as he ran over and hugged me. "When I saw you before…I'm so sorry…are you okay?" he asked as I felt my eyes swelling up again but all I could do was shrug.
"I need you to talk to him, I just need him to know I didn't mean it, I want him to know I do care, that I do need him and—"
"Tammie, not this time" he said as I felt my insides twisting all over again. "You didn't seem him last night, you don't know how many things inside him broke" he said as I bit down on my bottom lip.
"But that's why I need you, we can fix it" I said quickly, eagerly.
"There's a very small window Fred has inside his heart, he only lets family in, he's learned to let myself in, and you and Melinda. You threw yourself out that window because you're scared and I get that, I do, you don't want to get hurt. Right now he has a protection spell—several—against that window, you can't get in, I can't get in, even George is locked out" he paused to let the words sink in. Fred kicked away his own brother, his twin. What have I done? I thought depressingly. "And soon—I hope—he'll open it back up and everyone can go back in…except you" I nodded, trying to make myself okay with this. "Unless you let go of all the fear—"
"But what if something bad happens to him?" I interrupted.
"Then it happens Tams, when you're with someone and there's every possible you could lose them and yet you love them completely anyway, that's love. I know you don't think you're capable of it; I know he doesn't either but prove him wrong, prove yourself wrong" he said placing his hands on my shoulders.
"How?" I asked feeling close to crumbling again.
"When he opens his heart again, run and jump in. Don't hesitate, don't think, just go with it, it will be natural and it will be okay" he said with a little shake.
"Okay" I said quietly.
"Oh Tammie banananie" he said as he pulled me into a hug.
"At least tell George to stop hating me" I said. "Unless there's some kind of window for that too" I asked as we pulled apart.
"George has to take a look at himself first and then he has to stop being so judgmental. You know he only dislikes you because your cousin is Draco and because you hurt his best friend, a lot. But as soon as he realizes all the good Malfoys have done for us—just you and Draco—and all the good you've done for Fred he'll come around" he said but I shook my head.
"He won't come around until it's too late" I explained as Lee sighed and shrugged. We hugged again and said our goodbyes, him heading toward the Great House, myself toward the common room.
No one of great importance was inside but I quickly realized I was the one all the gossip centered around. What had Charity told these people? I couldn't help but wonder as I turned around and headed back out.
"Tammie!" I looked over my shoulder to see Harry calling out. "Hey" he said I stopped so he could catch up. "Where are you going?" he asked as I raised my eyebrow at him. "Oh c'mon, you've fought reporters, you struggled through seven terrifying challenges, you almost lost your best friend, you were almost killed, what's a little gossip?" he said with a little smile.
"They're girls" I reminded him as he seemed to nod with understanding. "Hey, has anyone told you about Burnner…?" I asked slowly as he thankfully nodded.
"Matt told us during lunch. Told us about you and Fred too, wanted us to you know, give you guys your space" he said but must have caught my look. "Last time you and Fred broke up and we left you roaming around the halls you got your memory altered. Twice" he said as I let out a laugh. It was the first meaningful laugh all day. Such a long day, I thought to myself. Day one of heartbreak. When did they start to fly by last time? Oh right, when I started dating other guys. But of course no other guys were interested. "Tammie?" Harry started pulling me from my thoughts because he voice sounded kind of low.
"Hmm?" I asked.
"You're a good person, you know that right?" I stared at him for a few minutes. I wasn't sure if I wanted to laugh, cry or hit him.
"Right" I said sarcastically deciding to do none.
"I mean it, and one day you'll see it, you'll get through all this other crap and realize you're not like you think you are" he said as I searched his face for some kind of pity or lie but found nothing. He was being genuine.
"Thanks Harry" I replied with a less than half-hearted smile.
I was almost too grateful that no one wanted to talk to me or bothered me when I returned to the common room. I felt slightly uneasy going to bed without Hermione saying anything, though I figured it was because she was angry at me for not telling her. Ron, well, he was like George, he hated everything about me for the moment and for the moment I was fine with that.
"Are you just going to keep stalking me?" I asked as I noticed Harry walking beside me for breakfast.
"It's not stalking if we're friends" he said trying to sound cheerful.
"Oh look, it's Tammie," I glanced over to see Charity standing there, she looked smudge and happy. "So, I just wanted to tell you your ex is a fantastic kisser" she said as I felt something inside start to burn, my hand inside my robes as I squeezed my wand.
"Don't" Harry whispered. I tried to relax, Fred was my ex, she could do whatever she wanted with him.
"You're just rebound" I spat at her but she just smiled.
"It's only rebound if it was the first time" she said with a wink. I felt my brain flat-line, what the fuck did that mean? I couldn't help but wonder as I pulled my wand out. "Stupefy!" I looked at Harry, that wasn't my voice, but then I saw his wand wasn't in his hand.
"Well, that'll be enough of that…." Abby said from behind us as she tucked her wand back into her robe and looked at Harry and me with a bright smile.
