TRIGGER WARNING: MENTIONS RAPE; NOT TOO EXPLICIT, IT'S AN IMPORTANT SCENE

94 days 7hours and 21 minutes later

"Alright, rose petals, check! Scented candles, check! Music, check! Sexy boxers, check! Curtains closed, not check!" Chuck exclaimed as he set down his clipboard and went to close the curtains.

"Chuck, I'm back!" Sarah called from downstairs

"Wife, check!" Chuck exclaimed as he checked the box on his clipboard, "I'm up here!" chuck called

Sarah placed her keys on the counter and went up stairs.

"I see you unpacked and, oh wow!" Sarah said as she walked into the master bedroom.

"Guess what day it is?!" Chuck said as he was holding a calendar with a date circled in red.

Sarah walked up to him and grabbed the calendar out of his hands and looked at the circled day.

"I'm gonna go with 'sex day' based on the bolded, red, and underlined words followed by four exclamation points."

"I'm excited!" Chuck said with a cheeky grin

Sarah glanced down and looked back up at him: "I can see that." Sarah replied

"You ready?" Chuck asked

"I don't know Chuck, it may not-"

"Hey, the doctor said it's fine, and if it hurts we'll stop."

"Promise?"

"Promise, now shut up and kiss me."

THE NEXT MORNING

"That was the best night of my life." Chuck stated

"Well, it's about to be the worst day of your life because we are about to spend $50,000 on our new office building." Sarah stated as she curled up next to Chuck

"On the bright side we get a week of vacation next week so we can go see Ellie in Chicago." Chuck stated

"We still haven't entered our submissions for the 'big gender reveal yet.' She needs them by Friday." Sarah said

"I'll email them today. You said boy right?" Chuck questioned

"Yep, and I'm right." Sarah said bluntly

"No, they are totally having another girl."

"Wanna bet?"

"Yah I do! Cause I am right!"

"Okay, since you think so highly of your decision, loser gets to be on bottom for a week."

"Soooo, how did 'sex day' go?" Morgan asked Chuck who walked into the office with a cheeky grin on his face.

"Great, we only got a half an hour of sleep and I lost two pounds." Chuck replied

"Wow." Morgan stated mesmerized

"Hey, have you entered your gender reveal submission yet?" Chuck questioned

"Yep, did it last night. She is so having another girl!" Morgan replied

"I know, right!" Chuck said, "Sarah doesn't think so. We even have a bet on it."

"Oh, what does the loser have to do?" Morgan asked as Casey walked into the room

"What are we talking about?" Casey asked

"Chuck and Sarah have a bet on the gender of Ellie's new baby." Morgan told Casey

"Boy." Casey stated bluntly

"No!" Chuck and Morgan yelled simultaneously

"Okay." Casey replied in a sarcastic manner, "So what happen when you lose the bet."

"I am NOT going to lose!" Chuck shouted angrily

"Uh, huh, when have you ever won a bet against Sarah?" Casey replied with a smirk on his face

"Never." Chuck mumbled, "But there is a first for everything."

"What happens when you lose!" Morgan interrupted

"Loser has to be on the bottom for a week." Chuck replied

"Harsh." Casey replied, "But it's nothing new Bartowski."

Casey patted Chuck on the back in a rough manner causing Chuck to flinch.

"Wait?" Morgan interrupted, "You guys have bunk beds?"

At noon Chuck had finished his work finding new clients. He shut down his computer and walked down to the lunchroom where Sarah was.

"Hey bad news." Sarah said as Chuck sat down next to her, "Ellie is postponing the gender reveal."

"When can we go?"

"Three weeks."

"Why?"

"The baby wasn't facing the right way, they should be able to find out in 2 weeks though."

"Ugh."

"Hey, there is good news as well." Sarah said taking a bite of her food, "Our clients canceled, they don't need us anymore. Don't worry we still get the money for the time we worked; however, that does give us an extra week to stay in Chicago."

"Really?"

"Really."

3 WEEKS LATER

Chuck and Sarah had arrived in Chicago safely and had gotten a taxi to Ellie's house.

"Hey, you guys made it!" Ellie said as she greeted the couple at the door.

"Uncle Chuck!" Clara babbled as she ran past her mom

"Hey sweet pea!" Chucks said as he picked her up, "Who is almost three?"

"I am!" Clara said as she clapped her hands

"Are you excited about the new baby?" Chuck asked

"I'm gonna go put our stuff in the guest room." Sarah interrupted as she headed upstairs.

"Yah!" Clara replied in an elated voice

Sarah walked up the stairs with her suitcase in hand while Ellie followed behind her with Chuck's stuff.

"Down here on the right." Ellie said

Sarah walked into the guest room placing her suitcase on the bed. The room was decorated with a queen sized bed framed by dark wood. There was a lavender quilt on top of it with pillow shams that matched. The bed was opposite a small window that faced the east and was covered in sheer curtains. A dresser lay on the adjacent wall and had the same dark oak as the bed. A television was mounted in the corner with a small table below it. The floors were covered in stained wood and a soft, gray carpet was placed on top. The walls were white brick and the decorations on it complimented the brick nicely.

"Bathroom is on your right and linen closet is opposite the room." Ellie said as she left the room

Sarah sat down on the bed and softly felt the quilt beside her.

"Aunt Sarah!" Clara yelled as she ran up the stairs.

Clara came bursting in the room and jumped onto Sarah's lap. Sarah slightly hissed in pain as Clara pushed on her stomach.

"Did I hurt you?" Clara asked her eyes filling with tears

"No, you're fine, just try and be a little more careful okay, Aunt Sarah's stomach is still healing." Sarah replied as she held the toddler

"Can I see?" Clara innocently asked

Sarah noticed Chuck standing in the doorway with a look of concern on his face.

"Clara, I don't think that's the best-" Chucks started

"Yah." Sarah said softly as she sat Clara beside her.

Sarah lifted up her shirt enough to show the large red scar that wrapped around her abdomen.

"It's big, huh." Sarah said as she looked at Clara's shocked face

"Does it hurt?" Clara asked

"Sometimes." Sarah replied

"Can I feel it?" Clara asked

Sarah hesitated for a moment as Chuck came to step in.

"Yah, just be gentle." Sarah replied

Sarah gently grabbed Clara's hand and placed it on her stomach. Clara moved her hand side to side feeling the bright red scar.

"It feels funny." Clara giggled

"Yah, it does, doesn't it." Sarah laughed back

"Why is it there?" Clara asked

Chuck stepped further into the room worried about how Sarah was going to react.

"They had to take my baby out." Sarah replied

"Where is the baby now." Clara perked up as she looked around the room

"He died." Sarah whispered after a moment of hesitation

"Why?" Clara questioned

"He wasn't strong enough." Sarah answered

"I'm strong." Clara said happily as she flexed her arms

"That you are!" Sarah laughed as she picked Clara up, "You want to show me your toys?"

"Yah! I just got a new Elsa doll! Have you seen the Elsa movie?"

-
"Okay everyone! It's time for the big reveal!" Devon announced

Everyone put down their food and made their way over to the living room where a big box with a string hung from the ceiling

"Alright, we had our friends put this together for us, so this will be a surprise for us too. You know what happens. Clara gets to pull the string and either blue or pink confetti will come out." Ellie told everyone

"Okay Clara, pull when I say three okay." Devon said

"Hey I'm almost three!" Clara yelled happily as she held 3 fingers up

"Yes you are almost three." Ellie laughed

Clara pulled the string and the box opened sending blue confetti everywhere.

"Clara why'd you pull it?" Devon asked

"You said three." Clara replied

The room laughed

"It's a boy!" Ellie shouted as she kissed Devon

"Told you." Sarah proclaimed as she nudged Chuck

"Yah, yah." Chuck sounded defeated

Sarah walked over to Ellie and embraced her sister in law.

"Congratulations El!"

"Thanks, hey are you doing okay?"

"Yah, I'm fine."

"Sarah I know you-"

"Ellie congrats!" Chuck interrupted

"Thanks so much!" Ellie replied, " Sarah, we're going to talk after."

-
"Sarah, what's going on?" Ellie asked

"I told you I'm fine." Sarah laughed

"Sarah I know you, you're not fine. What's going on?"

The silence lasted for what seemed like an eternity. Both girls stood in the empty room. Sarah was facing the window and Ellie was looking at her with worry.

"Sar-

"Why did you have to get pregnant!?" Sarah yelled as she turned around

Ellie was taken aback by the comment and look at her with a shocked face. Sarah realized her mistake and put her hands over her mouth and shut her eyes tightly.

"I'm sorry Ellie, I didn't mean that. It's just been so hard." Sarah cried

"I know you didn't. It's okay."

"No it's not okay! Nothing is ever going to be okay!"

"I don't know what to tell you, I've never had this happen. I just know you're strong, Sarah, I know you can get through this. And, hey, it's been a few months you guys can start trying again."

Sarah slid her back down the door until she hit the floor. She put her hands over her mouth and squeezed her eyes shut trying not to cry. She then shook her head.

In a soft voice barely above a whisper she said, "We can't."

"What?"

"We weren't going to tell anyone."

"Tell anyone what?"

Ellie dropped down to Sarah's level and took Sarah's hand in hers.

"It's okay, you can tell me."

"I can't carry a child, my uterus is too damaged."

"Sarah." Ellie breathed as she started to cry as well

"I'm fine."

Sarah quickly got up and left the room. She rushed down the stairs and out of the little house.

"What the- Sarah!" Chuck yelled as he raced after her.

Sarah called a taxi and quickly got in.

"Where to ma'am?"

"Somewhere quiet."

Chuck also called a taxi and hopped in quickly.

"Where-"

"Follow that taxi!"

Sarah's taxi had arrived at the park while Chuck's was still half a mile behind. She hopped out and paid the driver before quickly rushing out of the car and into the park covered with trees.

"I'll get out here!" Chuck yelled at the driver.

The driver pulled to a halt and Chuck paid him before rushing toward Sarah. When he got to the big open field, he couldn't find Sarah. After what seemed like hours of searching he found her sitting down, leaning against a tree crying. He walked over to her and sat down beside her putting his arm around her frail body shaking with sobs.

"You ran away." Chuck broke the ice

"You followed." Sarah answered

"I always will."

They sat in silence for a long time just watching people as they came and went from the large grassy area.

Sarah finally spoke, "It's happened before."

"What?"

"4 times."

"Sarah, what are you talking about?"

"The baby. I've lost 4 babies now."

"You've never told me this."

"It's hard to talk about."

Sarah wiped her eyes and shifted her body until she was in Chuck's lap, her back leaning against his chest. Chuck wrapped his arms around her middle and kissed the top of her head.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

They sat in silence for a few minutes before Sarah had the courage to speak.

"The first time was with Bryce. We had been together for almost a year when I found out. I never told him, I went to Decker at the time because he was in charge. I was about 3 months along. He told me that because of the contracts I signed they owned me and they needed me. He said I had to either abort the baby in a week or the CIA will terminate it for me. I never went to get an abortion. Decker had his men come and get me a week later. They strapped me to a table and injected ammonia into my womb. It hurt like hell, they injected too much to make sure it was dead. That's why I hate Decker, he does anything to get what he wants."

Sarah wiped more tears from her eyes but it was no use tears still came freely.

"The second time was from a mission. Decker was still in charge at the time and he was not happy with me because of a failed mission. He sent me to go investigate an illegal arms deal inside a human trafficking ring. I was Decker's weapon, his show girl, so he sent me in to be bought by the arms dealer. Things were getting out of hand to I said the code word to Decker who was on the other line. He told me he couldn't do anything so he just sat back and waited for things to play out. I got out almost 5 hours later when Decker pulled me out of the room. I still had blood running down my legs. They had the medical team check up on me. The man had raped me so hard my uterus was pushed back behind my ribcage. I had a procedure to fix it I was sent back in two days later. The next week I found out Decker had six men available during that time to help get me out, he just wanted me to 'complete the mission'. I wanted to quit the CIA, but again I was under contract. It happened two more times before we caught the arms dealer and six weeks later I found out I was pregnant. I didn't know how I was even fertile after that and I didn't know what to do and I was trying to decide but the world ended up deciding for me. I was sent to Bolivia soon after and I was stabbed in the stomach twice. I was assigned to you 3 months later."

Sarah started to cry even harder and so did Chuck. He never knew what his wife had been through and he never imagined it would be anything close to this.

"The third time was a little over two years ago when we were engaged. I was so scared when I found out. We weren't even married and we were still in the CIA. When I finally got the nerve to tell you, you were kidnapped by the man who wanted the intersect. I knew I would do anything to save you. It was in the ring when I was fighting the man to try and find out where you were I-, I took to many blows to the stomach and I felt the blood and I almost lost the fight I was so scared." Sarah choked back tears and looked away.

"Why didn't you ever tell me?"

"I thought you would be mad that I," Sarah choked on her tears "that I sacrificed our child to save you and I couldn't live with you hating me. If I never told you it just made it seem like it never happened."

"I'm not mad Sarah, I'm just happy you're telling me. I love you so much. I knew you were strong Sarah but this is a lot to go through. Please don't keep these things from me, I can help you. Ellie can-"

"No! I don't want anybody knowing, please." Sarah begged as she faced Chuck

Chuck let out a deep breath and slowly nodded his head.

Sarah was still crying so Chuck wiped the tears from her eyes.

"I love you." Chuck whispered

Sarah leaned in and kissed Chuck as she maneuvered herself onto his lap. When they broke the kiss Sarah leaned her forehead against his.

"I love you more than you can ever imagine." Sarah replied before kissing him again