That night Dan hardly slept at all, he tossed and turned again and when he was finally able to fall asleep he'd just wake up again. He just laid there ignoring the alarm clock until at three in the morning; he heard Jerry crying on the baby monitor that was on the night table so he got up and went to his nursery. He made Jerry his bottle then held him until he fell asleep. Once he put Jerry back in the crib he sat in the rocking chair and fell asleep.
DJ woke up and went to check on his brother. When he found his dad he woke him up.
"Dad, it's 8." Dan opened his eyes, saw DJ and stretched and then took Jerry downstairs. He wanted to take one more day before he went to work. He sat Jerry in his high chair and fed him, while DJ ate cereal and left for school.
"Bye dad." DJ said as he made his way to the utility room.
"DJ wait. When will you get home today?"
"About 4:30. I have AV club today."
Dan looked at DJ quizzically. "You joined AV club?"
DJ stood there. He was a little worried about what his dad would feel if he knew he was in AV club, after his dad was on the football team in high school, so his view of the AV club would probably be a little obscure.
Dan just looked at DJ. "Well as long as you're not dealing drugs on a street corner." DJ smiled and left.
All day Dan did nothing but watch TV, take care of Jerry and jump every time he thought he heard Roseanne. At 1, he gave up on TV as something in every show reminded him of either Roseanne in one way or another, or drinking in one way or another.
Soon after, there was a knock on the door. When he answered it he found Jackie.
"Since when do you knock?" He asked, playfully.
"Since, technically you're not my brother-in-law anymore," Jackie smelled of loose meat, and fried grease, but she looked happy.
Dan stood holding the door open. He laughed quietly and motioned for Jackie to come in. "So? Our kids share the same genetics so I think that gives you the right to barge in my house when you feel like it." Dan sat on the couch with Jerry on his lap.
Jackie smiled and sat down on the other end of the couch.
"Dan I came here to give you the rest of that money." Jackie handed Dan an envelope.
Dan shook his head and threw it on the coffee table. "Thank you, Jackie. I owe you big time."
Jackie shook her head. "No, you don't. Three hours in jail is equal to six weeks of childcare."
"Ah, you're right." Dan put Jerry next to him and was proud that Jerry could now sit up by himself.
The two people sat there quietly. Jackie took a good look at Dan and noticed that he had dropped weight, and that he still had a beard and longer hair. He looked like a lumber jack.
"So Dan how long are you going to keep that Lumberjack look?"
Dan rubbed his right hand on his beard in a thinking gesture. "I'll shave it around Christmas. Don't want the kids to confuse me for Santa…again."
Jackie smiled again. "I think with all that weight off you won't have to worry about that…"
Dan looked down at himself. "Ah so you noticed. So did the Doc, he said it was because I was eating healthy and being active all day. The only sitting I did was around the poker table…There was a TV, but seeing as I had no control over the channel I hardly watched it."
Jackie felt a ping of happiness over Dan's mood. He had that jokester totally serious attitude that he often used when he was playing around.
"You really look good, I'm proud of you Dan. Quitting drinking is a hard thing to do."
Dan looked at Jackie. "Andhow would you know that?"
"I tried to stop drinking completely a few years ago you know when I had this living thing inside me."
Dan smacked his head. "Oh yeah!"
The two went quiet again. Dan twirled the fingers around where his wedding ring should be. Jackie watched him, and then she remembered something. She picked up her purse from the floor and dug through it until she pulled out a ring case. She handed the case to Dan.
Dan opened it and found two rings; his and Roseanne's. He just looked at Jackie curiously.
"That first night you were in the hospital, a nurse gave them to me. So much was going on with you and mom and the kids I forgot to give it to you…"
Dan waved his hand like she didn't have to finish. Jackie watched Dan pull his ring out of the case and slip it on his ring finger. He then closed the case, stood up and took it to his room.
When he came back he headed for the fridge and took out a knock off brand Coke.
"Listen Jackie, I'm going to work tomorrow and I was wondering if you wouldn't mind me dropping Jerry off at your house in the morning so Bev can watch the boys again."
"Don't you think that's a little soon?" Dan stood in the door way and Jackie really noticed how much he lost weight.
"Maybe, I don't know. What I do know is that if I stay here another day I'll lose it for good this time…" Dan got a faraway look on his face. Jackie stood up and walked to him.
Once he realized she was looking at him he continued; "Jackie, everything reminds me of her…"
Dan felt tears forming in the corner of his eyes. He kept himself from crying, he'd done way too much of that lately.
Jackie had the urge to hug Dan but she didn't out of respect for his personal space. "Same with me Dan. I still think to myself "What will Roseanne think of this?" when I get dressed."
Dan shook his. "Funny I think the same exact thing."
Jackie looked at the clock. "My lunch breaks just about over. Feel free to drop Jerry off in the morning." Jackie talked as she walked backwards and grabbed her purse and left.
Dan was alone in the house again. He heard creaking and looked in kitchen to find no one sanding there.
"Rosie! If you're haunting the house can you do the laundry?" He shouted, believing that it would be just like his wife to haunt him and the house for the rest of his life.
Not one thing moved or made a sound so he picked Jerry up and walked to the kitchen grabbed his wallet and keys and left the house.
Jerry had Andy's old car seat in Dan's truck. Dan buckled Jerry up and the went to the Buy N Bag.
Dan got one of those carts with the built in car seats and put Jerry in it. He wasn't sure what to buy so he bought what he thought was necessary for now.
He pushed the cart with the feeling of people watching him. When he would look at people they would quickly look away. That same thing had happened to him for the first few days after he was arrested for assaulting Fisher, so he knew that eventually the staring would stop.
He was in the cereal aisle when he heard people talking on the other side of the shelves.
"You see him? I thought he'd get life." Said one voice, belonging to a teenaged boy.
"Nah, he wasn't drunk. That Chevy driver was drunk." Said another belonging to a grown up.
"Yeah, but it was Conner. You know he'd been drinking anyway." Said the teenager.
Dan listened in disbelief.
"Surprised he aint in jail. Pretty much the only place he could have been for six weeks unless he got help."
The voices faded away as the people left that aisle. Dan was amazed at what he just heard. People thought he was responsible for Roseanne's death.
Dan and Jerry got home after DJ. DJ helped his dad carry the groceries into the kitchen.
"So what's for dinner?"
Dan looked at all the bags and so did DJ. DJ saw salted crackers and immediately knew the answer.
"Oh no! Not chili!" Dan looked down at his son (had to DJ had five inches to grow before he was as tall as his dad).
"NOT CHILI? My son, a CONNER, doesn't want chili? Why good sir that is a preposterous thought."
DJ had a look on his face that Dan had seen before on both Becky and Darlene. He had seen it on Darlene when he was standing in a jail cell and on Becky when she noticed him dancing to her music.
"I've seen that same look on both your sisters."
"Why is the only thing you can cook chili, grilled cheese and corn?"
Dan thought about it for a minute. "I skipped home-ec and cheated off your mother on the days we had tests?"
DJ looked at his dad. "Dad you look like a lumberjack."
Dan shook his head. "Good that was what I was aiming for. We're still having chili."
And they did have chili, while Jerry had his baby food.
