CHAPTER 4: KILL OR BE KILLED

"They were gone Harry...they all got mad and gone...my dad, Molly, they were all dead Harry, I almost didn't recognize them, Harry. It wasn't like how I used to know them, not one bit ... Even my mum wanted to kill me and she was really strange, Harry. I wish you had been here, you could talk some sense into her, I really wish you had been here..." - Hermione kept talking, her warm breath on his shoulder, her voice sounded like it was echoed off somewhere distant, broken as the sound from that of an old radio got thrown away.

Harry had never wished he was dreaming so bad. He wished all of this was simply a nightmare and Hermione would soon wake him up just as always. But in this very moment, Hermione was the one struggling in her own nightmare. She wouldn't be able to withstand it, get used to it, accept what had happened and was happening. Not like Harry, she wasn't familiar with nightmares, had never lived with nightmares, and worse yet ever had a nightmare come true. If even Harry himself found it hard to cope with this harsh, cruel and ugly reality then how could Hermione...How could she withstand all of this? Confused thoughts, pain and fear were slowly engulfing Harry, corroding his feelings. Hermione...Hermione...was all that Harry wanted to say out loud but could find no strength to utter the word. Once again, he was seeing that image, the moment when she was stepping towards him, behind her back lay Ron's lifeless bloody body...

"Harry ... "

The vaguely familiar voice weakly pulled him out of the horrified flow of thoughts. Hermione managed to let go of him eventually, she was no longer trembling nor crying, instead she was giving him a pleading look. Harry slowly pulled Hermione up, looking straight into her cinnamon eyes.

"I can't...Hermione, all these things... we're here, I can't... I can't tell you it's alright and that it's gonna be okay-Hermione, I can't..." - Harry talked like a machine.

The brunette pulled out of him, head bent down, her now wildly disheveled hair matted with dirt and dried blood falling loosely over her shoulder. Hermione whispered:

"You've never been a good liar, Harry ... Where's Ron?"

Hermione was asking about Ron! She finally asked about Ron! Oh sweet Merlin kill me please. Her question struck him hard and Harry's body immediately tensed up in response. He began to panic.

Hermione looked up again, her eyes were burning red.

"Where's Ron, Harry?"

He took a few wobbly steps back.

"The hospital was under attack while the Healers were trying to save Ron, he didn't - didn't feel well at the time... I-I ran down to the hall trying to save others, "they" blocked up the entrance... many wanted to bite me... I came back for Ron - the ICU had been attacked too, all Healers turned to "them", so many...Hermione, so many of "them". I couldn't go in, the corridor was blocked, I was worried about you - you...Hermione... I - rode - back here on my bike, passing over many of "them"...and Hermione, I-I couldn't bring Ron back here... "

Harry couldn't say anything anymore, the anguished feeling was sucking up his voice, making it barely audible. Harry loosened his grip on Hermione, avoiding the intensity of horrified look on her gaze. For a brief moment there, Harry thought he should have just let Muller bite him and died in the hospital, along with Ron, with the piles of sticky rotting corpses…perhaps. At least that was easier than having to stand here helplessly, couldn't do anything but watching her falling to hell.

The deadly silent atmosphere settling between them as they stood still, eyes never left each other's. And then, without warning Hermione screamed out something, it was not a shriek, not a cry, not pain, and not even despair. It was the most desperate and loneliest sound that Harry had ever heard. Her hands clung to the wall behind, eyes staring down at the floor. Harry stood frozen.

-o-

It seemed like hundreds of centuries had passed by, when the stars were born and died thousands of times before Harry could find his voice back.

"Let's go Hermione ... " - Harry said tiredly.

"No, I'm not going anywhere !" - Hermione shook her disheveled brown hair.

Harry sighed, cast a tired look around. Ruins. Stinky. And bloody. What could he do? Even he himself could not believe in his own eyes, even Harry was trying so hard not to vomit at the scene in front of him. Then how... how could Hermione bear watching this? More than once, Harry reached his hand out and pulled back, he could not find it in him to touch her shaking shoulder.

"Let's go Hermione ... " - He repeated like a machine. To Hermione. To his own self.

Hermione Granger burst into tears then collapsed to the sticky floor, her voice was so hoarse and she kept screaming until all the sound was sucked into the dark mountains right behind the Burrows, leaving only the sound of flies buzzing and the wind's cry from a distant forest. Harry stood still. Helpless and devastated. Long after that, Hermione finally stopped crying and shaking, only then did Harry slowly knelt down beside her, putting a hand on her shoulder and slightly squeezing it, his whisper was as faint as a breath.

"Let's go Hermione ... "

The brown hair girl turned, her eyes were all red with tiny blood vessels. She looked at Harry, begging.

"Tell me this is all just a dream. Tell me, Harry please! Tell me! I only trust you, Harry. You've never lied, please Harry. Tell me... "

Harry looked deep into her eyes . His dried eyes burnt.

"I'm sorry, Hermione ... "

Hermione dropped her hands, eyes kept staring at the blood stains on the floor. The smell of rotting flesh nauseatingly intruded her nostrils and the girl nearly started to cry again.

Harry took a deep breath, then slowly wrapped his arms around Hermione as he pulled her to her feet.

"I don't want to go anywhere, Harry..."

He tightened his bloodied arm around her shoulder, so tight that the blood on his hand soaked onto her shirt. But she did not pull out of his hands nor did she cry, the girl just gave him a pleading look.

Harry pulled Hermione closer, close enough so that he could look into her eyes and see the reflection of his deadly pale and exhausted face. For the first time after all that happened, a lone tear escaped from his deep green eye.

"I'm begging you, Hermione ...you're all I have left. Please. Please...we must go... "

Hermione didn't utter a word then all of a sudden, she flung herself to Harry's arms and cried again. Her small hands clasped tightly behind his back as if she was afraid that should she ever loosen her hands, Harry would disappear too.

Harry looked out to the window. The wind was still howling their sad melody and once again the world was collapsing in front of his eyes.

-o-

"Where have they gone, Hermione?"

Harry asked softly as the two finally managed to walk out of the kitchen and were now sitting in the Weasley house's front steps...

"Who are 'they'?" - Hermione said hoarsely.

"Those that you have met and those that you think are dead..."

"I saw the corpses of my dad, Moll , George, and Percy. Next I was chased around by my mum and a stranger and I couldn't do anything but to hide away. Then when you found me and pulled me out of the cabinet, everybody had been gone."

Harry sighed. It was just as he thought, "they" were both the dead and the living.

"Let's go!"

"Where to?" - Hermione slowly turned to look at him.

"Finding Kingsley. The Ministry must have known something about this. We need to know exactly what is going on!"

"It's an outbreak, Harry, a plague. It's not a cholera, not chicken pox, not a flu or anything that human have ever known of. It's a disease that will destroy mankind and whatever is of human's."

Hermione said with a weak voice but no less serious, just as how she always explained to everyone about what was causing panic, helped them to be aware of the problem and determined the level of seriousness.

"Anyway... we have to go Hermione, we might find someone...and... oh crap..."

"What is it, Harry?" - She raised an eyebrow.

"I just remembered that they're holding the London Annual Music Festival this week...what if the outbreak spread over there? We have to warn them, Hermione!"

Harry wasn't sure if he could find anyone or if there was anyone lucky enough to survive as Hermione and him did, how far had it spread to the population and how many of them had turned by now? Harry sighed getting up and putting a hand out to Hermione. The girl looked at him for a few seconds before grabbing his hand and standing next to him. Hermione took one last look at the house where once was home now turning hell.

"You aren't stopping me? It'll be be dangerous, Hermione ... Who knows everyone in the city might have turned already..."

"I know you so well that I know I can't stop you, Harry...not to mention I'm too exhausted to do so... But for one thing I'm certain that I won't stay here." - She said quickly and determinedly before Harry could open his mouth.

"If you said so... don't hold me responsible for my 'hero complex' and all troubles ahead." - He mumbled loud enough for her to hear and threw back a dirty look at him. Harry shook his head - "Anyway...just don't let yourself get bitten. The bite seems to be infectious."

Then Hermione and Harry leaned on each other's shoulders, walking slowly through the sticky surface of the green grass. It was like the night when she went with him to visit his parents' graves years ago, just that this time things got more nasty and messy. About a few steps walking, Harry stepped on something hard under his feet so he looked down and found... a necklace, more precisely... a necklace with an ebony crucifix pendant.

Harry bent down to pick it up with a sad look. The necklace got blood on it too.

"What is it?" - Hermione stared at the crucifix in Harry's palm.

"...This is Ginny's, I gave it to her last Christmas. I bought it at a handicraft village in Greece when I was there on a business trip. Despite saying it looks cheesy and ugly, Ginny has never took it off her neck..." - Harry smiled looking back at Hermione. A crooked smile.

"We'll find Ginny..."

Hermione gently grabbed Harry's hand which was clenching the crucifix tightly. She looked at him, something sad and poignant in her cinnamon eyes.

Harry nodded - " And...the others, whether they're alive or dead..." - Then together they walked out of the gate with a wooden sign saying "The Burrows" and he knew he would never look at this place the same way ever again.

-o-

As Harry and Hermione were walking to her car, he said:

"We'll take your car to London. My bike was officially died a dozen miles from here!"

"And... you had run on foot all the way here?" - Hermione asked looking surprised.

"Well there was no other choice. I thought you were here all alone and just the thought of something might have happened to you gave me a chill, so even if I had to crawl...I'd crawl all the way her-"

Harry cut off before he'd blurt out something that he'd regret, something that should forever remained unsaid. So he glanced his eyes away pretending and avoid the look in her eyes.

Hermione was the first to break the awkwardness between them. She pulled his sleeves, whispering:

"Why haven't we seen anyone ... I mean 'them'?" - Hermione question startled Harry.

"I don't know. The Burrows was attacked. We don't know how many people had escaped to safety and whether the Aurors or Soldiers have been warned yet but it seemed this place was no longer the attraction center anymore..."

Harry said while jumping in the driver's seat in Hermione's car, one hand turned on the key.

Rrrrrrrrrr…..

The car groaned a long warning noise then... shut up. Harry sat still, biting his lips and tried to start the engine again. That choked up noise was repeated once more time and again it got sucked into the deadly silent space.

"Harry..." - Hermione said slowly.

"What now...? " - Harry said, clearly irritated.

"...Out of gas it is!" - Hermione sighed.

...

There was no car, not a single one around this area. No matter how passionate Mr. Weasley was about Muggle things, Ron detested them and he had gradually eradicated all traces of Muggles around his house despite the opposition of Harry and Hermione - that Muggle technologies and tools might prove handy sometimes. Harry run a hand through his hair, without a car how were he and Hermione supposed to go back to London. They couldn't walk all the way from here, right?

Amid the almost hopeless atmosphere, Hermione once again pulled at his sleeves.

"I have an idea, Harry! We can't fly nor apparate because the Ministry seemed to ban all kinds of transportation. And we can't even find a car but Harry, there're horses in a ranch nearby!"

It had been a long time since Harry last saw her eyes sparkling as bright as stars up in the sky, the light that always appeared whenever Hermione thought of some brilliant-life-saving ideas. He felt relief and let out a small laugh.

"Then I hope the horses don't bite!"

-o-

Horses didn't bite people. Luckily the ranch wasn't too close to the Burrows so it didn't attract the attention of those attackers. There were exactly two horses in the barn and Harry tried to pull them outside, coaxing them sweetly because apparently horses didn't like any strange creatures approaching them in the dark as they all seemed dangerous.

He took the red horse's reins and gave it to Hermione .

"Here, this one looks tamed. You'll take him and I'll take the black one!"

"Harry..." - Hermione squirming miserably.

"Huh?"

"I don't know how to ride a horse!"

Harry stood paralyzed, that's right, every unstable and risky means of transportation was deemed enemy of Hermione Granger. Merlin always got his weird sense of humor.

"Fine then, you'll go with me. I'll release this one, it'd be safer than to tie it here."

Harry patted on the red horse butt. He whinnied then racing straight into the deep forest.

Then Harry grabbed the grass cutting scissors and stuffed it into his pocket before he helped Hermione get on the big black horse. He mounted settling in behind her. A strange familiar feeling passing through his heart, bringing Harry back to the old days when he used to give her a ride on his Lightningbolt broomstick. But that time was short-lived and Hermione would only go with Ron later on, and since Ron was a reckless rider, Hermione eventually gave up flying with him and stayed loyal to the apparition spell and her car.

"Are you ready?" - Harry asked softly.

"At times like this, there's no need for a mental preparation. I trust you."

Harry smiled faintly and pressed his heels into the horse. The horse started to run, it hooves sounded like thunder raging in the vast empty space. They glided in the wind, leaving behind the ruins of death, and perhaps they both knew whatever was waiting ahead would be even more brutal and painful, but right at this time, none of them wanted to say anything anymore.

London was still far...far away.

-o-

The idea of riding straight to London had turned out to be the funniest thought Harry had ever had. Reality hit him hard and cold. It wasn't as simple as portrayed in some western cowboy movies that he had watched at all. What those handsome blokes ever did was to mount the horses and racing straight to their destination in just a few blinks while Harry's current status was a bloody dirty hungry mess travelling together with an exhausted girl and a horse that would probably strike anytime soon.

It was twilight when they started going and it was now past midnight. None had eaten anything throughout this whole day.

"We need to have a break, Harry!" - Hermione whispered faintly.

"I think so too. We might need to set up a camp since we're still in the forest..."

Harry stopped the horse, jumped down and almost hit the ground face down. His back and legs aching, exhausted and not flexible enough to support his weight.

"You all right? " - Hermione bent down, anxiously asking.

"I'm okay, just a little bit sore. That's all." - Harry tried to look normal while he helped Hermione get off the horse.

"We should have taken some food at the Burrows but we were too panicked to think of that and really... it's a big problem now-"

Harry cut her off with a hand putting over her mouth. He pulled her closer while Hermione glared at him, puzzled.

"Shhh...There are strange noises..." - Harry whispering into her ears.

The brown hair girl held her breath and listened closely, there was indeed sound of crunching dried leaves, definitely not that of an animal's footsteps. Someone was heading in this direction, dragging their feet was more precisely... The fumbling footsteps, heavy and unstable. Harry didn't know who it was, friend or foe nor good or bad, but his gut was telling him not to show up before he could answer the former question.

The footsteps were growing near bringing with them the sound of short intermittent breath and the dried growling from a hungry creature that was smelling its food. Harry held Hermione close to him, eyes widening in darkness, trying to locate the target while multiple questions popping up in his head... Should they run or stay? Who was it this time? How to keep her safe? How to survive? Must he have to kill again...right in front of her eyes?

The creature gradually revealed itself from behind the thick bushes, reflected under the silky moonlight was a torn and bloody face with cloudy eyes staring at Harry and Hermione. Harry could feel her body trembling in his arms.

"Harry..."

"No, Hermione...not anyone we know" - He reassured his friend.

Then Harry reached into his pocket and took out a pair of grass cutting scissors. He gripped it in his hand, really... Harry didn't want to do this. The stranger was approaching them, seemingly not noticing anything but the smell of flesh. The closer he got, the faster he was. Harry stepped out in front of Hermione, shielding her. The stranger reached out his sticky hand toward him, Harry charged in wrapping one hand around the guy's neck and pinning him against the tree, the scissor blade was held high, shining under the moonlight...

Hermione standing right behind him.

The stranger struggling, grasping Harry, trying to reach closer to him while his hisses turned gruesome with each passing second.

"Harry! What are you... argh!" - Hermione screamed.

Harry suddenly swung around, pushing the other to the side as he found Hermione was being attacked by another stranger who was baring his bloody teeth at her neck. The girl was struggling in panic but these guys seemed to be too strong and stubborn, they were hungry, thirsty and they attacked whoever they found. Harry screamed jumping at the attacker and pushing him to the ground. Like a wild beast, he sprang up, pinning Harry down and trying to plunge his teeth into Harry's face. The situation got worse when the first attacker wanted his shares of the party too and started crawling towards him. He was so near that Harry could almost feel his rotten breath...

Smack !

There was a dull sound of something hitting someone before the attacker on top of Harry fell to the side revealing the sight in front of him: Hermione was standing there with a piece of wood in her hands. Wasting no time, Harry turned to his left, held up the hand gripping tightly his scissors and this time the metal blade piercing through the skull of the attacker in just a blink of eyes. He stopped moving and like a puppet losing his strings, he collapsed. Harry pushed him aside, gasping and turning his attention back to the one got hit by Hermione. Despite having a hard blow on the head, he was still trying to stand up, slowly but hungrily. So without a word, Harry snatched the log in her hands and used it to hit the stranger repeatedly hard in the head. As a result, his skull fractured and the bloodthirsty creature collapsed the same way as his accomplice did.

Harry stood silent in the dark, his whole body shivering while drops of blood dripping down from tip of the log. Time seemed to be frozen and much much later until the horse whinnied softly signaling he was hungry that Harry turned to Hermione whose face was also pale and eyes were staring at him, speechless.

"That was how I escaped from the hospital and got here." - Harry laughed bitterly - "Trust me, I had no intention to let you witness that, Hermione, not one bit!"

He spoken before he threw the log aside, picked up his scissors and putting it in his pocket. He looked up at Hermione, his bare hands hung loosely on the sides, clothes were torn and covered in blood as scratches and bruises were all over his face and neck. Hermione stared at the lone figure standing under the faint moonlight. It had been so long...so so long since she last saw Harry like this, drowning in despair, misery, cruelty, coldness, and loneliness.

"You must be loathing me by now, but there was no other way... only when the brains are destroyed ...these creatures...only then do they stop... "

Harry continued, his voice went lower and lower with a hint of rough and detached tone.

"Oh no...Harry..."

Hermione burst into tears, running towards and throwing herself at him just like every time she saw him after each incident. Her bushy brown hair blocking his vision and once again, he was smelling that familiar sweet faint scent that had the power to calm him down. She wrapped her arms around him, burying her soft face into his neck and sobbing. Harry in return also tightened his arms around her, holding onto her like she was his last hope, the last piece of peace and goodness in him.

"You were terrified, hurt and tormented, weren't you? When you found out about that, when you had to do that to survive, to come back ...Oh Harry ..."

Hermione said in tears. Harry closed his eyes, burying his face in her hair. The rhythm of his heartbeat started going back to normal.

To be continued ...