Chapter Thirteen – Lost

August2022

Albus comes right up to the front door; he pushes past me, not looking me in the eye. I turn and follow him into the living room. For a while, no one speaks. He just stares at me. Dread fills my fluttering stomach. My heart beats out of tune.

"Why?" is all he says. "Why?"

I cannot get my mouth for form the necessary words – to explain that I had been telling James to leave. That I had told him he could not be here. I couldn't do it. My mouth stayed firmly shut. Oh Al.

"God damn it Vivian! Why?" he shouts, his temper finally breaking through – I have never seen him so angry before, his jaw muscles are twitching and a vein pulses slightly on his temple. I have the sudden urge kiss it. "Why did you do it? I thought we were happy together Vivian! I thought I meant something to you! Or was it all just an act? Is that it? You felt lonely and needed someone to comfort you?" his voice is rising and I can see he is holding back tears – of frustration or betrayal I cannot tell. "How could you do this to me? I love you Vivian! And if that is not enough, you are my wife!"

I just stand there. Unable to speak. Unable to move. My heart threatening to break for the second time. Because I do love him, not in the way I love James, but still: I love him. The thought of losing him as well is too much to bear. What I said to James was true – I honestly feel that I could be at least partly happy with Albus. I cannot lose him. I feel I am.

"SAY SOMETHING VIVIAN!" he screams as I continue to just stare at him. "ANYTHING!"

"I'm sorry…" it is a feeble attempt but it is all I can do.

"Sorry… you're sorry," his voice has changed to a whisper which frightens me far more than his shouts. "Is that it? You're sorry?"

"Al… I- It's not what you think-"

"Not what I think? Then what the hell was it Vivian? Because it looked to me as if you were kissing my brother!" he yells again.

"Al…" my tone is begging as I try to construct my thoughts. He looks at me in disgust before walking past me and out into the hall. "AL!" I scream after him, the tears breaking through my barrier and flowing down my cheeks. "Al, please! Let me explain!"

"I don't want to hear it Vivian," he says coldly, stopping me in my tracks. He yanks open the door and storms back out onto the street. I pause for only a moment.

"Al!" I scream as I wrench the door open again to chase after him. "Al! Please! I love you!" he freezes. I stop. He turns around.

"You don't know how to love anything Vivian." His voice is so cold, so foreign. With a last look of disgust, he disapparates and I am left, crying on the pavement.


I know it's short. I don't apologize. I promise the next chapter will be up shortly. Yours Sincerely, GirlOnTheSidelines.