AN: I also updated Thoughts of a Witch for those of you that are interested. We are nearing the end of this story; I am thinking one more chapter after this, maybe two, depending. Once this story is done, I will begin updating Darkness of the Night. I apologize in advance if this chapter sucks. I had and still have such a huge case of writer's block but I did not want to leave you all hanging.
Elphaba sat in her father's study with a book while he worked on business that he had fallen behind on while she was in the hospital. It had been a week since she was released and allowed to come home and she was overjoyed to be home again. Everything was not perfect though. She continued to have nightmares, but she successfully kept them a secret from everyone, as she was sick of all the hovering. Not only was she having nightmares, but Oscar had been distant to her since she had come home.
"Papa?" Oscar startled at the voice that broke the silence in the room, before relaxing when he realized it was Elphaba who had spoken. He removed his glasses and placed them on his desk before replying.
"What is it sweet heart?"
"I am going *to* horseback riding with Mama in the park. Do you want to come with?" Oscar looked up at his daughter and sighed. "I'm sorry, but I need to catch up on this work. Not this time dear."
"Oh. Okay. Are you sure? You seem really busy with everything lately and I thought you could use a break. It's a beautiful day outside, so why don't you come with? Please? Just for an hour?" Elphaba continued to plead her case.
"Elphaba, I said I am busy and that is the end of this discussion okay?" Oscar snapped at her and immediately felt guilty when he saw the hurt look cross her face. He didn't get a chance to apologize before Elphaba nodded briefly and fled from the room.
Oscar sighed and slumped forward in his chair with his head in his hands. He was tired, frustrated and trying to be strong for Elphaba and not show how scared he had been while she had been held captive and it was taking its toll on him, which more often than not was being taken out on Elphaba.
Elphaba met Melena at the stables and was quiet the whole time they were preparing to ride. Once they reached the park, Elphaba started talking and enjoying the ride, but Melena could tell something was bothering her and was fed up with being kept in the dark.
"Elphaba? Sweetheart, tell me what's wrong? I know you are still adjusting to being back home but you have been quiet lately."
Elphaba slowed her horse a walk before replying. She refused to look at Melena as she spoke. "Is Papa mad at me? It's okay if he is. I mean, if I hadn't mouthed off to Frex like I did, none of this would have happened. It's my fault he got angry enough to take me and that man, Avaric; he got mad when I wouldn't do what he wanted. It's my fault and I understand if Papa blames me." She spoke the last part so softly Melena wasn't sure if she had heard it.
Melena was shocked. "Where in Oz did you get that idea? Elphaba, sweetie look at me." Melena drew her horse to a stop next to Elphaba's and gently placed the tips of her fingers beneath Elphaba's quivering chin, and with a gentle nudge, lifted her head up until her dark eyes, so much like her father's stared back at her. "What happened was in no way your fault, in any way! Your father does not blame you do you understand?" When Elphaba scoffed at this, Melena sighed and drew her horse to a stop and motioned Elphaba to do the same. She dismounted and led Elphaba over to a nearby bench.
When they were both seated, Melena took Elphaba's hands in her own. "Elphaba, Frex is a cruel, egotistical man, who went crazy. He will be punished in a few days' time for the part he played in your kidnapping. Avaric was not any better. Avaric was a sick, twisted man, and you were instrumental in freeing dozens of girls from the very same fate you were facing. It was your courage when threatened that allowed that to happen. None of what happened is your fault in any way shape or form. As for your father, he does not blame you. You weren't there, but when we had no idea where you were, Oscar was a mess. He blames himself for your ordeal and he is trying to be strong for you. He feels that he failed you by allowing this to happen"
Elphaba was horrified and it clearly showed on her face. "But he didn't fail me! He was there when I woke up in the hospital! He was the one who got me out of that hell hole! He is my father and I love him! He could never fail me! You and Papa were the first ones I saw when I woke up. If it wasn't for papa, I wouldn't be here right now! How can he blame himself?" She had tears in her eyes as she spoke. She leaned into Melena and the older woman drew her in for a hug.
"You have no idea how terrified we were when we discovered you missing. Everyone was terrified, and the Gale Force and even the Vinkun troops were out looking for you at Fiyero's insistence. It wasn't until Glinda contacted us that we had any idea what had happened to you or if you were even still alive." Melena took a shuddering breath before continuing to speak. "Seeing you, lying in that hospital bed, fighting for your life, I just, I didn't know if I could handle it, but I had to. I was your father and Fiyero's rock through it all." The two sat there for a while before climbing back onto their horses and heading back to the palace.
Fiyero greeted them in the stables and came up to Elphaba. He did not notice the way she tensed at his touch as he helped her off of her horse, but Melena did and her heart broke at the reminder of all that Elphaba had been through. She did not comment on it though and decided to give the couple some privacy.
"Fiyero? What are you doing here? I thought you were in a meeting with your father?" Though her actions may not have proven it, Elphaba was happy to see him.
"It got done early, and I came down looking for you and learned you had gone out with your mom and was about to follow you before you came riding in." He noticed her eyes were red and immediately grew concerned. He stroked her cheek with his thumb gently. This time he noticed when she tensed, but had other concerns at the moment. "Fae, why does it look like you've been crying?" His stomach sank at the dismayed look that crossed her face before she answered.
"Yero, how did papa hold up while I was gone?" The earnest look on her face made it impossible to not answer.
"Fae, he, it wasn't good okay? He was a mess, but then so were we all." Fiyero was doing his best to be honest, but it was a painful topic for him to discuss. "He was angry and felt like he couldn't protect you. He snapped at everyone, and it took Melena to kick him out of it. When we couldn't find any trace of you, we were all terrified of what had happened." As if to reassure himself she was standing in front of him, safe and sound he leaned in for a kiss.
Elphaba instinctively melted into the kiss, before images of Avaric doing the same thing flashed before her eyes and she swore she could feel his fingers moving inside her.
"NO! Don't touch me! Please!" She burst into tears before shoving Fiyero away and fleeing, leaving a confused Fiyero behind.
Melena saw Elphaba fly past and knew immediately what had happened and the pain she felt was overwhelming. She went over to Fiyero who looked devastated.
"I don't get it. She seemed distracted and every time I try to talk to her, she turns away or claims she is busy. And now this! What did I do wrong? Does she not love me anymore?" Fiyero turned, pleading eyes to Melena whose heart went out to the young man.
'No Fiyero, she still loves you very much, but you are a man."
That did not help him. "Her father is a man and she is okay around him though! So why isn't she comfortable around me?"
"Fiyero, come take a walk with me. Your mother is not here right now to explain this, and if everything goes well, you may very well become my son in the future. Elphaba has no problem with her father touching her as he does not try to touch her sexually or romantically. He touches her out of fatherly affection and love, which is very different from your love. Fiyero, a woman's virginity is the most precious gift she can ever give a man and it is given in the most intimate way possible when two become one when they truly love one another. For Elphaba, who is still more of a girl than a woman, the fact that she was almost forced to give up this gift to a man for his own entertainment is devastating and traumatic. She is feeling so violated right now. In a way, he did take her virginity from her. Between Frex and Avaric, when it comes to touches that will eventually lead to sex, Elphaba's sense of safety has been ripped from her. Give it time, and don't scare her. Keep touching her in little ways, but avoid kissing and other intimate touches until she feels more comfortable with you. You will know when that time comes, just as you will both know when you are ready to take it to a more intimate level."
Fiyero looked at her in amazement. "How in Oz did I get lucky enough fall in love with a girl who has such an amazing mother? I would never have thought about that. I mean, I knew we both wanted to take it slow, but I never imagined this." Melena just laughed and squeezed him in a hug.
"Now get out of here and go find her and talk to her. You both need to talk and work through this."
