Chapter 6: Afraid of not being loved

A/N: Thank you so much for your reviews. They are very encouraging in writing this story. In the previous chapter we saw how the Carson family adjusted to their new life together and Elsie informed Charles that they were going to have a baby. How the twins will react to the news of Elsie's pregnancy? Let's find out. I hope you like it.

Disclaimer: Any situation or character that appears in the drama isn't mine.

The rays of the sun were enlightening the whole room. Elsie opened her eyes as the rays' warmth touched her face and found her husband awake staring at her with a smile on his face. She smiled as he leaned down and kissed her on the lips. It was their routine from the first morning as a married couple. He lied back down taking her in his arms and placed a hand on her stomach. "I'm so happy, Elsie. We have two wonderful daughters and soon we are going to have a baby. The girls will be so happy to have a little sister or brother to play and teach.", he placed a soft kiss on her cheek. "You will stay in bed today as tomorrow we will go to the house where we will stay until the baby is born.", he was serious and didn't hear her protests.

"We have to tell the girls about the baby and why we will stay in the house until I give birth.", she was a little worried about that because she wanted to have a healthy child and her difficult pregnancy along with her age wasn't helping. "Why don't you go to wash and when the girls are awake you can bring them here to have breakfast in bed, then we could tell them the news.", she placed her hand on top of his on her stomach.

"That's a nice idea, love.", he smiled at her. "I will go wash up, then make breakfast and wake the girls.", he kissed her once more as he got out of the bed and entered the bathroom.

Elsie smiled at her husband and closed her eyes, within seconds she was asleep again. She didn't notice how the time passed as she woke up with kisses on her cheeks almost an hour later. She sat up and arranged the pillows for her back. They had a nice family breakfast at bed while talking and laughing. "Your mother and I have something to tell you, girls.", Charles said to his daughters as they had finished their breakfast.

Elsie saw how her daughters sat up quickly and looked at them with worried faces. She was wondering why they were worried. "Rose. Christine. In six months you are going to have a little brother or sister.", Elsie was worried about their reaction and their worried faces and it sounded in her voice as she told them about her pregnancy.

"We are going to have a little brother or sister?", Christine asked excitedly her parents. She hugged them and kissed them when they nodded their heads in agreement. Rose hugged and kissed her parents after her sister but she didn't have the excitement that her sister had.

The two girls looked more worried at their parents as they explained to them why they were going to stay at the house and all about their mother's pregnancy. Christine promised to help them with everything she could and Rose only nodded her head in agreement.

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Two weeks had passed since the twins' birthday and the announcement of Elsie's pregnancy. They had taken some things from the cottage with them at the house. Elsie wanted to work in her sitting room but they didn't let her do anything. Charles had announced at the staff about what was happening. They all promised to do their bests to help until the baby was born and the housekeeper was back to her work.

Anna had gone a few times in the beginning to Elsie's room to help her in some things about the work she had to do. Elsie helped her and gave her some advice that she was going to need for the next six months. Charles knew some things about his wife's work so he offered his help whenever he could. Anna was glad that she had two very kind seniors and she was sure that she was going to learn a lot from them.

Charles made sure that every other day the girls could have their lunch with their mother at her bedroom and the dinner in the servant's hall while the other days they could have their lunch in the servant's hall and the dinner with their mother. It was one of the days that the girls were going to have lunch in their mother's bedroom. Charles was occupied at his pantry busy with some very important papers, Anna was doing the rounds to check that everything was in order and Beryl was busy making the dinner.

Elsie was in her room reading a book, that she had bought before she learnt about her pregnancy and now it was the perfect time to read it as she had to stay in bed. She placed her book on her lap when she heard a knock on the door. "Come in.", she called out and made sure her hair was alright. She knew that she was in bed rest but she didn't want her daughters or her husband or any other visitor to see her in a mess. She opened her arms as she saw Christine running to her. She hugged her tightly and kissed her. "Where is Rose?", she asked her daughter as she scanned the room to find her other daughter.

"What do you mean, mama?", Christine was looking at her mother in confusion. "Rose left earlier from school because she complained that she had a stomachache.", she informed her mother and saw the worry on her face. "Mama, what are you doing?", she asked her worried as Elsie threw back the covers and got out of the bed.

"I have to speak with your father, Christine.", Elsie was very worried about her daughter and she needed to find her. She put on her dressing gown and her slippers. She walked quickly out of the room with Christine following her.

Charles was ready to shout at the person who had opened his pantry door without knocking but was shocked to see his wife standing in front of him with worry written all over her face and his daughter with flushed cheeks. "What's wrong? Elsie what are you doing here?", he was becoming very upset with her as she knew that she had to follow the doctor's orders.

"What am I doing here, Charles?", her voice was full of anger and worry. "Christine came to our room as it's the day they have lunch with me and when I asked about Rose, she told me that Rose had left earlier from the school because she complained about a stomachache.", she was shouting now in hysteria.

"What?", he now understood his wife's worry. "Rose didn't come back here or at least I didn't see her.", his mind started wondering as to where his daughter was. "Elsie, please sit down and Christine stay with your mother.", he told seriously at Elsie and stormed out of his pantry.

After fifteen minutes he came back to his pantry with flushed cheeks and the worry written all over his face. "No one has seen Rose. That means that Rose didn't come here after she left the school.", he informed his wife and daughter. "Christine, do you have any idea where your sister might be?", he was very worried now about his daughter and even worried about how it will affect Elsie all this.

They two adults got more worried as their daughter shook her head. "Charles, you have to find Rose. You have to find our daughter.", she was hysterical now. Beryl and Anna were standing in the doorway watching the scene. "She is nine years old. Where did she go, Charles? You have to…", she didn't manage to complete her sentence as she fell on the floor unconscious.

Charles run quickly to his wife's side very worried and picked her up in his arms. As he turned to leave the room he noticed the two women looking at him concerned. "Anna, please send Brand to fetch the doctor as quickly as possible.", he left his pantry quickly leaving Christine and Beryl alone. Beryl hugged the girl as she noticed that she was crying.

Soon the whole family and the staff were searching Rose everywhere near the estate while Christine stayed back to take care of her mother who was sleeping. She couldn't understand what happened that caused her sister to lie and leave the school without saying anything.

It was getting darker outside which caused everyone to get more worried about Rose. At some point they all got back to the house trying to decide what to do next. Charles wanted to keep searching for his daughter; he couldn't stay at home waiting for the day to come while she was outside somewhere. Robert didn't want to leave him alone, so he decided to go with him in the search while the others stayed back in case Rose came back at some point.

Anna kept turning on her bed as she couldn't sleep at all from the concern about the girl. She loved the girls like they were her younger sisters and she was very worried. She decided to get dressed again in her work clothes and went downstairs to have a cup of tea. She wasn't surprised at all to find the cook in the kitchen with a cup in front of her. She made her tea and sat beside the older woman. After a while she decided to go outside to take some air and left the cook in the kitchen.

As she started walking in the courtyard she heard someone crying. She followed slowly the sound as not to disturb the person who was crying. As she neared she noticed that it was Rose who was sitting on the ground crying. She left as she had come unnoticed and returned a few minutes later with Beryl following her. They walked slowly towards the girl without making any noise. The two women sat in front of her without saying a word. Rose felt that someone was looking at her and raised her head. She was ready to stand up and leave when she discovered who had found her but a hand from her aunt and a hand from her… older sister stopped her.

"Rose? Why did you do that, love?", Beryl asked in a low and soft voice her niece. After a few moments of silence, Rose was in her aunt's arms crying loudly. Beryl started rocking her back and forth while Anna was rubbing soothing circles on her back. After a while the sobs had subsided but Rose didn't want to leave her aunt's embrace. "Rose, what happened? Please, talk to us.", she was confused and worried about the girl.

Rose pulled back from her aunt, looked them for a moment and took a deep breath. "They won't love me now that they are going to have a baby.", she finally said. "They adopt me and Christine because they couldn't have children but now they are going to have a baby and they won't love me.", she started crying again and Beryl pulled her in her arms once more.

"Oh, Rose! Of course they will love you. They are going to have a baby but that doesn't mean that they will stop loving you.", Rose started crying again and Beryl tightened her arms around her.

After a while Rose had calmed down. "Mama has to stay in bed until the baby is born otherwise she may lose the baby. I don't want mama to die, aunt Beryl. I don't want to lose my mother for a second time.", the girl looked down at her hands.

The two women shared a knowing look and then turned to look at Rose who was still looking down. "Rose, just listen to me.", Beryl said and Rose immediately raised her head to look at her aunt. "They wanted and want a child of their own. Your mother was so sad that she may not have a child of her own, that you father decided to take her for a week in London. There they met you and your sister. She was so happy when they came back to Downton. They were making plans for you without knowing yet if they were going to finally adopt you.", she stopped and looked at her own hands now. "Rose, the day after they arrived at Downton your mother had a miscarriage.", Beryl looked at the girl in front of her.

"What's a miscarriage?", she was confused and worried about her mother.

"A miscarriage is when a woman is pregnant but loses the baby before it is born. No one, not even her, knew that she was pregnant but she lost the baby. The doctor said that it was caused because she was having a difficult pregnancy. That's why she has to stay in bed now until the baby is born, so the baby will be born alive and healthy.", she noticed how the girl's face was a little wet with a few tears.

"You have to remember something, Rose.", Anna broke the silence between them. "Even when she lost the baby they didn't stop the adoption, they continued to make plans about you and Christine. She was so happy when she announced her pregnancy at your birthday, they were happy to have a baby and that you will have a little brother or sister to play, to teach things. They wanted to keep the news a secret until the next day because they wanted you to have your special day.", she pulled the girl in her arms as she started crying once more.

"Rose, your mother upon hearing that you had left the school earlier but never came to the house got out of bed to speak with your father. She fainted in the pantry and she hasn't woken up since then. She risked her own health and the baby's from the worry for you. Your father is outside now searching for you and he won't come back until he finds you. They love you, Rose. They don't look at you as two adopted girls but as their daughters.", Beryl's arms were filled with the girl as she cried in her arms while Anna rubbed soothing circles on her back.

After a while Rose had calmed down and pulled back. "I want to see my parents and my sister.", she looked down at her hands.

The two women smiled warmly at the girl. They entered the house from the back door and Anna went to wake up Thomas so he could go to find the butler and tell him about his daughter. Beryl made a cup of hot cocoa for her niece while she put around her a blanket as she started shivering.

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Charles entered the house to see his daughter. He found her sleeping in the sitting room on the armchair. He felt so relieved when Thomas had found them to tell them that the girl appeared that he run as fast as he could. He walked towards the armchair while his gaze never left his daughter's smiling face. He placed a soft kiss on her forehead that made her open her eyes. "Papa?", she looked at him and the smile disappeared from her face. "I'm so sorry, Papa.", she let a few tears to fall from her eyes.

He placed a kiss on her forehead once more and picked her up in his arms. "Ssshhhh, my darling girl. We will talk about it in the morning. I believe that your mother and sister would love to see you.", he left the sitting room and slowly made his way to his bedroom while Rose had fallen asleep in his arms.

Christine had fallen asleep next to her mother on the bed while she was taking care of her mother and waiting for news about her sister. Charles smiled at the lovely scene and placed softly his daughter next to her sister and mother trying not to wake them. He knew that he had to sleep in the armchair next to the bed but he didn't mind at all because he had his three girls in the same room sleeping.

The rays of the sun entered the bedroom warming and enlightening it. Christine opened her eyes slowly and was confused when she found herself between two bodies. In one side was her mother but her father was sleeping in the armchair. As she turned around slowly, she was happily surprised to see her sister sleeping beside her. "Rose!", she shouted in her excitement making her parents to wake up immediately.

"Rose? You are back, my love.", Elsie was so happy to see her daughter back with them. After hugging her sister, she filled her mother's arms not wanting to leave from there.

"I'm so sorry, mama for worrying all of you so much.", she said to her mother as she pulled back. "Aunt Beryl and Anna found me outside in the courtyard crying. We talked and made me see things more clearly.", she explained with them.

"But I don't understand, Rose. Why did you do that?", she wanted to know what made her daughter take that decision after being so happy with her new life.

"I thought that now that you are going to have a baby, you won't love me anymore. I didn't want to lose you like I lost my biological mother.", she started crying and Elsie pulled her in her arms rocking her back and forth.

"Oh, my girl! We won't stop loving you because we are going to have a baby. That won't happen ever. Your father and I love you both very much, Rose. We don't see you as two adopted girls but as our daughters. We were so happy that we are going to have a baby and you will have a little brother or sister to play with, to teach things. We will never stop loving you or Christine.", she was speaking in a low, soft and loving voice. "You are not going to lose me. I will be with you until I am old enough that God will take me with him. I have to stay in bed so the baby will be born alive and healthy. You can help me by coming to see me, read to me, cuddle with me. Then you will help me with the baby when it will be born. You will take care of him or her when I will be very busy. You will teach the baby things.", she looked at her daughters who nodded in agreement with wide smiles on their faces.

Charles stood up from the armchair and sat in the bed from the other side so the girls were in the middle. They stayed in bed the four of them for a while and then Charles got ready to work. The girls sat with their mother and talked about the baby and many other things. In the evening Charles returned to the room with dinner for them and they ate in the bed like before. They slept together in the bed with smiles on their faces.

Please, please, please review. I would like to know what you think of this chapter. I won't be able to update the next chapter until at least Tuesday afternoon because I will have a very busy weekend and I will be tired.

To Be Continued…