Chapter V
It was damp, dark, and cold. The luminance of her own body startled her. Her veins had been replaced with greenish translucent wires of some sort. Paralyzed from head to toe, with no understanding of where or who she was, she felt trapped, her body heavy, conscious of her existence but of nothing else. She had a sickening metallic taste in her mouth, and she could smell fresh blood. The scent triggered a seemingly endless stream of images: bodies everywhere, terror in their faces; husks mawing on piles of corpses; cries of pain, excruciating pain, ending with a light so bright it felt like her eyes were melting, then came pure silence.
A beeping sound could be heard at a distance. It was barely perceptible, yet constant.
The calmness that now surrounded her was eerie, unreal, and frightening. Memories were coming back to her. She remembered her favourite childhood toy: a miniature replica of the starship her mother had once served on. It had broken and been put back together several times. Every time it broke, she had insisted on fixing it. She carried that thing everywhere. She must have been about five years old. She knew even back then that she would one day command a ship just like it.
Her first day at boot camp had been a proud moment. She was following in her mother's foot steps, but before long she would be under Admiral Anderson's wing and XO of the Normandy, the pride of the Alliance.
Her heart started to beat faster, her breath quickened. All at once, she relived in her mind the last four years of her life. She had felt not only pain, loss, doubt, fear, anger, and sadness, but also laughter, joy, gratitude, and happiness, such happiness.
Faces were rushing through her, filling her with love. A love so strong and so true, she believed she could do anything.
The beeping became more evident, and much faster in pace.
She saw her mentor who had guided her and supported her through difficult times. She saw the members of her crew on the Normandy whom she admired and considered to be her family. She saw the members of her squad, her closest friends, her brothers, her sisters, her lover...
Her chest sank. The hardest thing she had ever done was to say goodbye to Kaidan. She had made her peace when faced with the choices given by the Catalyst. She knew it would be agonizing for him to mourn her again, after all they had been through together, after finding each other again-but in the end, there was no other way.
The beeping was louder, much louder. The room felt warmer, lighter.
She was Commander Liv Shepard-war hero, Spectre, saviour of the Citadel, protector of the galaxy. She always did what was best. She found solutions where obstacles arose. She convinced rivals to work together when no one else would. She was Commander fucking Shepard, she could do anything.
The beeping was now loud and clear. It came from a cardiac monitor. Shepard could hear voices around her. She slowly tilted her head sideways, and the voices stopped. Her eyes were so heavy. It took all her strength and willpower to open them, and when she did, she saw but blurred shapes. She could barely distinguish the people in white lab coats hovering over her.
"Shepard, glad you are awake. We've been waiting for this moment for a long time. You are in a hospital in Rio. Your vision will rectify itself. Try blinking several times."
"Miranda, is that you?" recognizing her friend's voice and blinking as suggested.
"Yes, Shepard, it's me. If you are up for it, I assume you would like for me to fill you in on what has happened." With a decisive head motion, Shepard agreed.
"The explosion you triggered effectively shut down all the Reapers and all synthetics across the galaxy. I'm sorry to tell you that Admiral Anderson didn't make it. You suffered severe head trauma. We had to put you under to ensure that the swelling and the pain decreased significantly. The surgeon in charge of your burns was able to restore most of your skin with barely any scarring. We've been waiting for over a week for you to wake up. I must admit I was starting to get a little scared. You have been out for exactly 15 weeks. Your crew and the Normandy were stranded just outside the Arcturus Stream, but they managed to repair the ship and are currently on their way back here. Their ETA is about a month from now. I have taken the liberty to prepare for you all the details of what I have just stated in the datapad on your nightstand, but for now you should sleep."
"Thank you, Miranda, you know me too well," mumbled Shepard before falling into a deep sleep.