Sorry for the slow update dearies, I have many excuses, but I shan't bore you with them. Thank you for the lovely reviews!
Enjoy.
There's a list of things Karen had been expecting to happen today. She'd been expecting to read a letter from Jimmy, maybe get a cup of coffee, rehearse with Derek, and then perform in Hit List.
It never gets dull, maybe repetitive, but never dull.
She likes it. It's reliable.
The last thing she'd expected was a glowing Ivy Lynn interrupting rehearsal to play tonsil hockey with Derek and then have him announce she's pregnant.
But that's what had happened.
It's quite a dramatic shock.
How very Ivy.
The room is still abuzz in chaos. Tom's mouth is agape in shock; Julia, Jessica, and Bobbie are fawning over Ivy; Ivy is eating it up, her hand intertwined with Derek's; Derek's grin is positively Cheshire.
After a moment of the giddy news settling in, Tom calls for a break. People trickle out of the room for water and gossip.
"Congrats, you guys!" Karen says, walking up to the couple, smiling at Ivy before giving half a hug to Derek. "This is exciting!"
"Thank you." Derek nods, his leg bouncing slightly in excitement as he leans against the desk, his arm slung around Ivy's hips with easy familiarity.
"How far along are you?" She asks, turning to Ivy.
"A few months." She says. Karen can't help but notice how Derek squeezes Ivy's waist just a tad tighter at that, he grins at the squeak it elicits.
Karen's happy for them.
It doesn't bother her.
It doesn't.
Why would it?
"Do you know the gender?" She asks.
Ivy's hair shines gold as she shakes her head.
"Not yet." She turns to Derek. "Do we want to know?" He shrugs. "We can talk about it later." She says, he smiles in agreement.
Ivy's been here for less than ten minutes, and Derek's smiled more in that time than the whole day.
It's interesting.
Karen wonders if she does that when she's around Jimmy.
She can't remember.
"Not that I'm complaining," Derek says, jerking Karen from her thoughts, her startled shoulders relax when she realizes he's not talking to her. "But why did you decide to tell people about the baby now?"
Ivy's little smile is gentle and shy as she plays with Derek's free hand.
"I just... I saw my parents today, and I saw how happy they were. My dad practically lit up like a Christmas tree when my mom walked into the room, and even when he was sleeping for hours, my mom was right there with him. I've always wanted something like that. And then I realized, I could have that. I do have that. I just have to stop getting in my own way."
Derek's smiling even as he kisses Ivy.
Karen would feel like a third wheel if it wasn't for the fact that there were four people in the group.
"Everyone come back, let's start at Ivy's number." Tom calls. "Ivy, unless you've got more surprising news to share with everyone, I hope you're able to work."
His words are clipped, he turns to the dancing crew with a huff. Karen quirks an eyebrow, Tom had been perfectly chipper twenty minutes ago.
"What's up with him?" Karen asks, her confusion coming out as a half laugh.
Ivy frowns, white teeth stark against her pink lips as she bites them. She grips Derek's arm tighter to catch his attention.
"I just realized, I didn't tell Tom about the baby. Besides you and Sam, no one else knew till now."
"Sam knew?" He asks, bemused.
"He figured it out. I'll tell you about it later, but right now I have to talk to Tom."
"Why would that upset him?" Karen asks, not understanding Ivy's train of thought.
Derek shrugs as Ivy leaves his side to talk to Tom. Karen leans against the desk next to him.
"So how are you feeling about all of this?" She asks.
A gushy, utterly besotted grin spreads across his face, so sappy Karen would have rolled her eyes if it was anyone else.
"Honestly, I'm really happy."
"Good. I'm glad."
She smiles as she hugs him, it drops as her face falls from view.
He smells like his usual cologne, one of Karen's favorite scents, but a light flowery scent tickles her nose as well. It must be Ivy's.
She smiles again when she pulls away from the embrace, it's happy and hides anything less.
Tom calls for her, she lets herself get sucked into Julia. The character's worries seem more fantastic and lighter than the thoughts swirling around Karen's mind, she's grateful to focus on something else.
Distraction is her best friend.
Tom is sorting sheet music as Ivy approaches, she can tell he's upset. The papers make quite a thump as he drops the organized pile on the table.
"Hey Tom, can we talk?" Ivy asks.
"That depends, are you going to tell me more secrets you didn't tell me before you told the masses, or are you going to ask me about work, which also involves you keeping secrets from me?" Tom says, never turning to look at her as he stacks different sheet piles with increasing vigor.
"I don't have any work secrets."
"You're pregnant, Ivy. As your director, much less your friend, I need to know these kinds of things. It's important, it changes everything, and you should have told me."
"I know, I'm sorry."
He turns to her, his arms crossing.
"Who knew before today?"
"Just Derek, Sam, and my dad. My own mother doesn't even know yet."
"You told Sam before me?!"
"He figured it out, ok? He noticed. It's not my fault you didn't."
As soon as the words slip from her mouth, she knows it's the wrong thing to say. Tom shakes his head in offended disbelief.
"I don't need this right now. Let's just get to work."
The words sting.
He calls the other dancers to the center of the room, starting Ivy's fast-tempo-ed number. The song details how Ivy's character shows Karen's the ropes and shares the secrets of show business.
How very ironic.
She tries to catch Tom's eye several times between her lyrics, a pleading apology in her baby blues.
Other than an occasional, slightly harsh correction, he ignores Ivy completely.
She resolves to fix things with him.
Right after she breaks the baby news to her mom.
Uh oh.
It's an hour before Karen's first show of the day, she's spending the time at her favorite café. The quiet little coffee shop calms her conflicted thoughts, she sips chamomile as she sorts through them.
Ivy's pregnant.
With Derek's child.
It's a lot to process.
Also, Ivy must have gotten pregnant around the same time Derek was still pursuing Karen.
Interesting.
A petty, bitter part of Karen thinks it makes sense, how quickly he had dropped her after the Tony's.
He must have found out then.
He got a kid and a family that night, she got a boyfriend in prison, leaving her all alone.
Not that she's resentful.
Sometimes she thinks back to that fateful night, when she and Derek had almost slept together.
In the late hours of night, when she's lying in her bed that's too big for just one person, she wonders what could have happened if they actually had. How things could have changed.
No matter how she plays it, she can never tell if things are better.
When she thinks about it realistically, things wouldn't have gone well. But when she simply thinks of what she wants, things are beautiful, and she stays in that fantasy for as long as the blissful moment lasts.
It never lasts long enough.
It's not so much that she's got Derek in that dream, at least she doesn't think so, it's just that in that moment, she's happy.
And that's what she wants, to be happy.
Doesn't she deserve happiness?
"Hello Karen! How lovely to see you here." A voice interrupts her internal conversation with herself.
It's Eileen, smiling as she makes her way to Karen's table, with Lyle West right behind her.
"Oh, hey Eileen. What are you doing here?"
"Lyle and I were stopping here for coffee before seeing your show."
"That's great, I hope you enjoy it." Karen says with a smile.
The barista calls Eileen, she excuses herself.
"So Lyle," Karen says, her chin resting on clasped hands as her elbows rest on the glass table. "I missed you at rehearsal today."
He shrugs with a grin.
"They said they didn't need me, so I took the free time to get some work done."
"You mean musicals aren't your day job?" Karen fake gasps, Lyle laughs and shrugs again.
"What can I say? I'm not talented enough to keep a singular career."
"I highly doubt that." Karen says with a wink.
At Lyle's slow smile, she wonders if it seems like she's flirting.
Maybe he likes it.
Maybe it's nothing.
Either way, she doesn't care.
She's lonely, and his smile is warm and sweet and all for her.
She's going to enjoy it.
Eileen walks back, two coffees in hand, Lyle takes his with a soft thanks and another slow smile.
Karen wonders if he just smiles like that for everyone.
She hopes not.
"Oh, you two missed some big news today." She says, they both lean closer.
"And what's that?" Eileen asks.
"Ivy's pregnant!"
"What?!" Lyle asks, in shock. Then, he smiles.
This time, it's big and brilliant, happiness an exquisite color dancing across his pearly whites, he laughs in excitement.
"That's amazing! It's Derek's?"
"Of course." Karen says, grinning at his reaction.
Lyle's knees bounce, childlike glee jumping in his eyes as he turns to Eileen.
Her reaction is less joyful than his.
"Hmm..." Is all she says.
"What?" Karen asks.
"Well...of course I'm happy for the both of them, but this does complicate things."
"How so?" Lyle asks, worry starting to sober his exuberance.
Karen wonders the same thing as well, though it's not exactly with worry.
"It's just, pregnancies can be difficult, especially for women still working. This could cause some problems in moving our musical forward, we don't want to overexert Ivy. Plus, after she has the baby, she might not want to come back for quite some time. The media will have a field day with this."
"Would you wait for her, or will you hire a new actress?" Karen asks, shoving a bubble of a denied emotion down.
Eileen shakes her head.
"I don't know, it's too soon to tell. Obviously I need to talk with her and Derek first, but... I don't know. This needs time. Thank you for telling me, Karen."
Eileen stands up, Lyle following suit.
Karen takes a final sip of her tea.
"No problem."