"WHAT KIND OF JOKE DO YOU THINK YOU'RE PLAYING?!" Leaf shouted, looking about ready to claw Teachers eyes out. Luckily Ryder reacted quickly, grabbing Leaf and holding him back as he struggled to attack teacher, who looked calm.

"Who the hell do you think you are?!" Storm growled, glaring at me, "Grisia! This is your magic, isn't it?, Who the hell is this imposter?!"

"D-D-Don't you dare t-t-t-try to replace C-Caelan with a lookalike!" Earth sobbed, looking at Teacher.

I watched the scene with wide eyes. I should have expected this. If the situation had been reversed, I would have thought it to be a ruse as well.

"You heartless bastard," Cloud whispered, looking at Grisia with disbelief. This hit me the hardest. Graytian was kind. This was the closest to anger I had ever seen him.

I have to say something to reassure them…

I covered my hands with invisible wind element, pulling out an old trick of mine. Then I slammed my fists onto the table, actually managing to crack it. I looked at them all seriously, half-standing as I yelled, "I have no idea what I'm meant to say!"

Shit. That was meant to come out inspirational!

"Calm down, everybody," Ryder said reasonably, letting go of Leaf slowly. He walked to stand next to me, where Seriph would have been had he been present. He nudged me, signaling it was my turn to speak.

I turned to them, trying not to show how confused and unsure I was. In a voice I hoped had authority I said, "I..."

I what? Pretended to be dead. Lied to you all. Abandoned you and went off to the North for a few years. Forgot who I was.

"Who are you?" Ice asked quietly, shaking his head, "Who are you really?"

This was thing I was sure of. In a clear voice I said, "My name is Caelan Avick."

"No you aren't," Blaze growled, looking scary, "Caelan died. Don't you dare pretend to be him."

"I am Caelan Avick," I said again, firmer this time, "I was brought into the Church from the Orphanage at a young age. Teacher began raising me as the Sun Knight, skipping through the selection ceremony. Years ago, in this room, we were given our first group mission. At that time I found my brother," Frowns of confusion blossomed, "And..." I hesitated before hanging my head, unable to meet their gazes, "Then I faked the death of myself and my Brother."

"Caelan would never do that," Earths voice trembled. My heart broke in two when I heard it, and all I wanted to do was go embrace him. To pat him on the head like when we were children. To heal his wounds. But this wasn't a wound that could be healed by Holy Light.

"I'm sorry. Kaden- everybody... I didn't mean for it to turn out like this... It was only meant to be a short while..."

"He's telling the truth," Ryder said softly. His hand was on my shoulder, comforting. His voice trembled a little as he spoke, "I didn't believe either, but..."

"Is it really Caelan?" Ice whispered.

"It is," Teacher said clearly. Earth threw himself at me, sobbing loudly onto my shoulder.

You've gotten taller. You're almost as tall as me now…

"I'm sorry," I wrapped my trembling arms around him, squeezing tightly as tears began to leak from my eyes. My voice cracked and my whole body shook as I cried like a child, "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."

"Y-Y-You're back," He wailed, sniffling and burying his head further into my shoulder. Others moved wordlessly, joining in the embrace.

"Where have you been?" Leaf demanded. He was standing apart from us, fists clenched and looking furious.

"North," I whispered, avoiding his judging stare.

"Why did you bother coming back?" His voice was cold. I winced painfully, feeling the words like a blow to the heart.

"Leaf!" Ryder yelled, looking at Leaf with incredulity, "What's wrong with you?!"

"What's wrong with me?!" He gestured at me angrily, "What's wrong with you?! He's obviously been living happily without us! You expect us to accept him after he faked his death and took a little vacation?! Don't screw with me!" He turned to me angrily, "Go back! Don't worry about another disappearing act, just leave through the front door like a man! You worthless coward!" I could see tears in his eyes as he snarled, "Did you ever even think of how we felt?! You can't just decide to come back like nothing happened."

I detached myself from my friends, hanging my head and replying softly, "I didn't think of how you felt. I didn't come back. But not because I didn't want to," I looked up at them pleadingly, "I never intended to be gone this long. I didn't return because-" I stopped, not knowing how to continue.

"If you're going to tell them, tell them all of it," Teacher said quietly. I felt like blasting him with ice magic.

Yeah I'll just throw it all onto the table. Not a problem at all.

"Close the door," I said angrily. Teacher did as I asked without complaint, closing and locking it firmly. I pulled off the Sun Knight jacket, then began to unbutton the top of my plain white shirt. I pulled it back slightly, revealing my binder before saying in a quiet voice, "I was born Caelan Avick; A female," I met each of their shocked gazes, despite having the urge to run and hide, "Both my parents and brother were spies of the Church of Chaos. My brother was initially trained to become Sun Knight, before my parents insisted they all leave the spying life. Then," I couldn't help clenching my teeth, "They were murdered. I was presumed to have died with them. Instead I ended up here. I had no memories. Teacher found me and made me the Sun Knight in Training," I began to button up the top again self-consciously, "When I found my brother I began to remember. I knew… I had to disappear. I-I went to Pink. I asked her to help me, and she did. She arranged for me and my brother to become somebody else. Up until now I've lived in the North as Kadence. Seriph and Metal found me. I insisted on coming back, even though I didn't remember why I had to. I'm sorry."

"If you ever do anything like that ever again," Leaf shouted, "I'll never forgive you! Bastard!"

"I don't expect forgiveness," I whispered, "I don't expect any of you to ever forgive me for what I did."

"Maybe not completely," Ryder said seriously before smiling softly, "But I think it will have to do. After all; We're not the Twelve Holy Knights if we're divided."

I looked up in shock. They all stood, looking at me with accepting eyes.

I jumped at them, unable to keep from sobbing in joy. I shouldn't be the one crying. I've been asleep all these years. All these years I've missed. I never got to see them grow. I never got to grow with them.

I've missed you all so much.

Even if I didn't remember, I never stopped missing you.

Never stopped wanting to stand by your side.

Even without all my memories, I knew what I was missing.

You all.

After Teacher had detached me from my brothers he insisted I go address the Pope. And so here I stood, feeling awkward and small in the Pope's massive study. It was almost like the first time I'd come here, too afraid to touch anything.

He was watching me curiously, his chin resting on his hands. A smile tugged at his lips and he said softly, "You can't just run in here with some grubby kid and expect me to accept him as the next Sun Knight, damn it."

The repeated phrase from my childhood shocked a little laugh at me, making my shoulders ease down.

"No, Seriously," He said simply, shrugging and looking at teacher, "He," He said significantly, giving me a look that said 'Yes, I know. No, I don't care', "Never even finished his Sun Knight training. Just look at his posture," He clucked his tongue like an old lady, "No good. Looks aren't enough to pass him as the Sun Knight."

"What are you trying to say…?" Teacher asked slowly, looking suspicious.

The Pope grinned wickedly, "He's not the Sun Knight yet. Luckily his Teacher just so happens to be around to continue teaching him, eh?"

"No way!" Teacher protested, looking incredulous, "You can't expect me to stick around and teach this lump!" Who're you calling lump?! "I've already given him the sword and everything!"

"Not my problem," The Pope shrugged, "The Pope doesn't have authorization over the Twelve Holy Knights. Though I suppose Lesus still might," He looked thoughtful, "He might even still be in Leaf Bud City… Last time I checked, he was. I wonder what he would think about you abandoning your student…"

Teacher blanched, "Don't use Lesus to blackmail me! Brat!"

"It's not blackmail, it's leverage," The Pope smiled sweetly, "You're to stay and continue teaching him."

I've missed it here. I breathed in the night air, filling my lungs with cold bliss. It's definitely a lot warmer here. Everything is so much more alive.

I was sitting on the roof, quietly musing to myself. Even when Teacher had warned me to stay in my rooms, saying nobody could casually glimpse me before everything was explained, I couldn't resist the urge to climb out my window and onto the roof. In the North I would have spent my nights tending my flowers and plants, under the moonlight.

I wonder how they spent their nights, I felt empty, despite it all. They've all gotten so much… older. How many years have I missed?

I tilted my head back, feeling the moonlight bathe my face, I wish I could have grown with them. Trained with them. I wish I had never left. I'm so selfish. Seriph hates me now, for sure. They must all hate me a little. Why wouldn't they?

"I heard," Ryder's voice startled me out of my thoughts, making me jump in fright. He was walking along the roof, looking utterly normal, "That there was a fairy on the roof. I came to check it out."

"And instead you got a demon," I said in an understanding voice, nodding my head seriously, "I can see your predicament."

He seated himself next to me, laying flat on the roof and yawning loudly. We sat in silence for a few moments before he said softly, "I'm not sure what I got was a demon at all. Maybe an imp. Small and cheeky. But not vindictive."

"Your eyes are as dull as your brain then," I said quietly, looking in the other direction.

"We don't blame you," He said.

"You're lying to make me feel better," I replied tightly.

"We're angry," He admitted, and I heard the sound of him sitting up, "But we don't blame you."

"I don't believe you," It came out sounding weaker than I had intended.

"You don't have to," He said quietly, "I don't expect you to understand. But try. Since that day… we all thought you were dead. Caelan, we buried your ashes. We stood over your grave and said our last farewells. We're honestly just happy you're alive. No matter why you left, you're back. That's what's important."

I thought it over. I could understand, but at the same time I still couldn't accept it. Would I be so calm in their place?

"What's it like, having two people in your head?" He asked curiously, lying back down on the roof.

I tilted my head thoughtfully, feeling odd when my hair didn't follow the action in its' usual manner. In a slow voice I tried to explain, "It's like… I can't even explain it. They're both me, but not. I'm half the me that became the Sun Knight in training, and part the me that lived in the North."

"What was it like? Living up there?"

"Empty," I said honestly. Remembering how I was then made me feel uneasy, like the way I felt then would come and swallow me again. I elaborated in a soft voice, "Life was so empty. I had my brother, but even when he was there… It felt so lonely. When he wasn't there, it was torture. I couldn't sleep. Couldn't eat. It was like I became an empty shell," I ran a hand through my short hair, "My amnesia wasn't bullet-proof. It wasn't like I was a different person, more like… a reflection. I still felt like me. When I saw people, I still felt like I would as Caelan. That's why I saved Seriph," I twisted my cloak, "Actually I was kind of afraid of him. Wendy, my friend, had told me all these awful things…" My voice was quiet and sad, "Things that the 'Whole continent knows'. It really is too cruel. As Caelan; I understand it has to be done. But as Kadence…" I shook my head, "He already hated himself for being the Judgment Knight. Then he started blaming himself for my death… How am I supposed to face him now? When I know all the misery I've caused him?"

"I don't know," He replied, sighing, "I really don't. But I wouldn't be so sure he hates you."

He stood, stretching looking up at the moon with a smile, "But you'll find a way. You always do. After all; You're the Sun Knight. It's your duty to bring light," He began to walk away before stopping, not looking over his shoulder as he said, "It's nice to have my Best Friend back."

"It's nice to be back," I replied, smiling.

I hope you liked the chapter! Your reviews are all so lovely~! :3

I'm going to miss Seriph's PoV too. TnT It'll just go smoother with Caelans' PoV. And yes, I'm finishing in a lot of cliffhangers. Mwuahaha. :D