I strode down the halls angrily, my face dark enough that it would have made the first Judgment Knight proud.
He lied. He pretended to die right in front of me.
And I couldn't even stop him. Couldn't even see it for the farce it was. I'm such an idiot.
I grabbed one of the swords hanging on the wall as I entered the deserted training ground, embracing the usual procedures. The habit had never changed, not since I was a child. When emotions threatened to break me I would train until my body ached and I lost my thoughts, and myself, to my training.
To put it frankly; I was at war with myself. Part of me said I had no right to be angry. That it was my fault. That I could have stopped it. The other said I had to be angry. He'd lied to me. To all of us. And not just about dying either.
I feel like shit.
I raised the sword and began my drills, feeling the rebuttal of the wood beneath my sword. It was comfortingly familiar. I focused on it, but I wasn't able to completely ignore my thoughts this time.
Grisia lied to us all, from the very moment he brought him- no, not him. Her into the Holy Temple. He broke every rule. How dare he?
I struck with more force than was necessary, teeth clenched in anger.
All of those times I easily beat her in training. She wasn't strong enough. She still isn't. I can't believe him. She could have died. She did die. And he still didn't say anything…
Neither of them did.
"Damn it," I growled in a low voice, striking faster until my arm was a blur.
I'm not like this. I'm calm. But… The Princess knew. She knew that Caelan was still alive.
Stop. This isn't like you. You're calm. You're uncaring. Stop being so emotional. You don't need emotions. You live for the Church.
The sword embedded into the wood, putting up an unreasonable amount of resistance when I tried to remove it.
Damn it. I'm going to need to pry the bloody thing out.
I turned, robes swishing as I stared at my feet, breathing slowly and wiping the sweat from my forehead with the back of my hand.
It doesn't matter who he is. The Church needs a Sun Knight.
Even if he's irresponsible and careless enough to disappear without a word.
Even if he's stupid enough to fake his own death.
Even if he doesn't care enough to-
I bit down on the thought, not finishing it.
I don't need emotions. Live for the Church. That was always the motto.
The Church needs the Sun Knight. You don't. Just… ignore it. All of it. Live for the Church.
"Hi there," A weak voice said from up ahead. I looked up and saw Caelan, standing awkwardly by the sword rack. He- No, She- Was dressed in a black robe that had its' hood flipped up. Still I could see her golden hair reflecting in the moonlight.
I didn't bother to reply. I snatched a sword off the wall, feeling silly for the action as I stalked back to the dummy.
You don't need emotions. Stop being so stupid.
I tried to keep myself calm as I positioned the sword against its' brother, levering it out. It came free suddenly, clattering to the ground and making me take a step forward. I bent to pick it up, only to have a slender white hand pick it up before I could. Caelan was standing in front of me, displaying some of the false-confidence from her childhood. I ignored her, turning away and walking to one of the other wooden dummies.
"You can't just ignore me, you know," She said quietly, sounding wounded and small. I ignored it, shifting the weight of the sword in my hands and breathing deeply.
I should just leave. She can't bother me if I go to my rooms. Maybe afterwards I'll duck out to a prayer room. Or-
The thought was cut short as a sword came flying at me. I held up my own in shock, deflecting the blow and taking a step back while falling into a fighting pose. Caelan stood, sword in hands and glaring at me.
"Don't just ignore me!" She snapped, looking furious.
I wanted to do just that. To walk away. But I couldn't, not while she still had her sword raised.
"What do you want me to say?" I asked, deadpan. My eyes were cold, but I was burning with fury inside.
You don't need emotions. Just the Church. Calm down.
"I-I just want to be able to say sorry," She looked unsure of herself, her big eyes making me want to hit myself.
She still looks like Kadence. Damn it.
"You just did," I said emotionlessly, turning to walk away. She struck forward, our swords meeting as she tried to keep me in place.
"Not like that!" She mumbled angrily, avoiding my cold stare.
"I'm afraid I don't have time to spar," I said coldly, flinging my sword back and forcing her to retreat. She didn't stop there, letting loose a flurry of attacks at me. I deflected them all easily, feeling like sighing.
Just leave me alone. Will you stop rubbing salt in the wound?!
"Stop being such an idiot!" She yelled angrily, striking my sword again with a force that almost made me take a step back. Almost.
"You're too stubborn," I said coldly. It was an old phrase, and I could see by the pain in her eyes that she remembered it.
"You say I'm too stubborn, But in the end," She clenched her teeth and switched her sword to only one hand, using the other to cast magic quickly as she began to attack, "Aren't you the one being stubborn?! You won't even let me explain!"
You're the one keeping me here by fighting me.
"Explain what?" I snapped, unable to contain my anger anymore, "Why you decided to just disappear?! To let me think you were dead?! Don't worry, you don't have to. I already know," She looked relieved until I continued in a scathing voice, "Because you're a selfish coward," Her eyes widened, looking pained. I couldn't stop myself as I continued loudly, "Because I wasn't deemed worthy of the knowledge. Anastasia knew though, didn't she?! Don't worry about coming back as the Sun Knight," I struck hard, making her stumble backward, "After all," I struck with my leg, making her fall flat onto the floor. I stuck my sword deep into the ground next to her head, yelling now, "You can just go back to the North, you selfish bastard. Go without telling us anything, again. After all, we aren't important enough to know. You're the one who always complained that we weren't the Twelve Holy Knights if we were divided," She looked terrified, but I continued shouting, "In the end it was you who decided that we weren't important enough to stay together!"
I stood, unable to keep my face from twisting in anger as I looked away.
This isn't like you. Calm down. Calm down. Don't say anything more. Walk away. You don't need to do this.
Still, my anger moved me as I turned back to continue. I knew I must look terrifying. All dressed in black and towering over her as she laid still on the ground. But I couldn't help yelling out my frustration, "Go back to the North. You've made your place clear. You can't just pick and-"
I froze. Her bottom lip trembled and she had begun to cry, looking like a child.
I'm a monster.
"I'm sorry," She whispered, eyes wide and scared, "I don't know what I did. I'm so-"
"You don't know?!" I snapped, cracking completely. In a shouting voice I continued, "You pretended you were dead. You ran off to have a happy life, and then had the nerve to come back and continue on like it was nothing!"
"You're scaring me," She wrapped her hands around her head, bringing her knees up and burying her face in them, "I'm sorry. I don't- It- Urgh!"
"Get up," I snapped, turning and beginning to walk away despite the guilt that threatened to eat me alive, "You look pathetic. A Sun Knight should look more elegant."
"Who?" She sounded confused and scared.
"What?" I turned angrily, "Decided you do want to disappear again? Don't bother with the disappearing act. We won't bother you anymore."
"I-I don't know what you're talking about," She shook a little as she squeezed her eyes shut tightly, "Don't leave me alone."
"Now you decide you want our company?" I snapped.
"I'm scared," She whispered, before sobbing loudly, "Don't come near me! I'll kick your ass!"
"What's wrong with you?" I growled, "Get up and go back to your rooms already. If somebody finds you here like this-"
"Where is my brother?" She stood shakily, hugging her arms with tears streaming down her face, "I don't know… I-I don't know where I am…"
"Caelan?" I asked, confused.
She didn't react to the name, except to look even more scared, "Seriph, you're scaring me."
I reached forward but she slapped away my hand, retreating two paces and shaking her head furiously, "Wendy was right! I shouldn't have gone with you! She w-was right… You're a really mean person!"
What the hell is with this reaction?!
"Caelan," I growled angrily, "Just go to your rooms already."
"Stop calling me that!" She screamed, ice magic beginning to radiate off of her.
"Fine! Sun Knight! Whatever!" Fine. If you hate me calling you by your name so much, you'll just be the Sun Knight from now on.
"My name is Kadence!" She shouted angrily, "Stop calling me weird things!"
I froze, eyes wide in shock as I stared at her blankly.
"What are you talking about?" I asked slowly, suspicions running wild through my head.
"Wendy was right about you J-J…" She slowed down, face confused as she squeezed her head tightly, "Who are you?!"
"It's me," I said, starting to panic a little, "Seriph Judgment. What's wrong-?!"
She clenched her eyes tightly, hands still squeezing her head as she fell with a thud to the floor. I rushed to her side, dropping on one knee and checking her vitals. Her heart was pumping at a ridiculous rate, her skin clammy as she began to scream.
Without another thought I scooped her up, running through the halls and trying to stop my hands from shaking. I kicked open Grisia's door, rushing in despite his loud protests. He looked at Caelan with wide eyes, shouting something and ordering me to lay her on the bed. I did, then stepped back. I dimly noticed that I was shaking, no doubt in shock.
"What the hell did you do, you bastard?!" Somebody yelled. In a moment I was pressed up against a wall, a cold iron dagger pressed hard against my throat.
"I-I-" Can't finish a sentence, "I don't know!"
Normally she would shout something back at me. Maybe throw something. Look hurt. Walk away. Not this. Never this.
The screaming stopped with a burst of Holy Light, generated by Grisia. I saw Caelan's head as she shrunk further into the blankets, away from Grisia.
"Caelan!" The dagger disappeared from my throat, accompanied by her brother. He rushed to her side, face full of worry as he leant onto the bed, "What's wrong?!"
"Brother!" She shouted, tears still streaming down her face. She threw the blankets off, launching herself at him. They both fell into a heap on the floor and she buried her face into his chest, sobbing loudly, "I want to go home! I can't stand it here anymore! My head hurts!"
"Caelan?!" He asked unsurely, detaching her and holding her at a distance to stare her in the eye, "What's wrong with you?! What happened?!"
Instead of answering she looked angry, pushing him away and balling her fists as she shouted angrily, "WHY ARE YOU ALL CALLING ME THAT, DAMN IT!"
"Kadence?" Grisia asked slowly, taking a step towards her and looking horrified.
She turned to him angrily, "Finally! One of you has it right!" She stopped, looking confused, "Who the hell are you, anyway?"
Cliffhanger. Again. *Cough* Sorry.
Don't worry, it all contributes to the story. x] I'm loving all your reviews TuT Also I can't believe this is my longest story! o_o It seems to have gone by so quickly.