Chapter 2

Silence…silence was what filled the huge space of the airplane, their home quarters. Birkhoff was sitting in front of his computer, Ryan was staring at his "wall of craziness", but neither of them could properly concentrate. They were both thinking about the very recent events. Nikita was back! Their once leader, their friend, the person who brought them all together and for whom they were currently fighting something beyond their comprehension was back. The one who was most involved in this fight, but then left. Ryan understood her. After all, he was the analyst, the level headed, the voice of reason. He understood her and tried to make the others understand, too. Birkhoff, on the other hand, was pissed. And man, was he ever! Sure, he knew Nikita's selflessness and need to protect the ones close to her. But this was bigger than her, bigger than them all, so their only chance to figure things out and stay alive in the process was to stay together and fight. So right now, Birkhoff was determined to give her a piece of his mind once she was in front of him. But when the doors of that airplane opened, when he saw Nikita's fragile figure, all battered and with blood on her hands, when he looked into her eyes and saw nothing but pain, all his pent up anger flew through the roof. His eyes filled with unshed tears and all he could do was stare at his closest friend, watching her leaning on Michael for support and trying to hide her physical and internal pain. Trying to breathe.

Nikita was silent. What could she say to these people? The people who were her family, with whom she fought side by side and managed to take down Division, the people who stood by her and supported every crazy decision she made and every insane plan she had…the people who she left behind. Of course, she had her reasons, very powerful ones, but, in the end, she left them. So what could she say now? "Hey, I'm back? I'm sorry? How have you been all this time?" So all she could do was keep her head down, not daring to look at them. Michael was the first to speak.

I'll go get the medical kit to properly clean your wound. Try not to leave while I'm gone!

Hearing his words, Nikita forgot about the pain in her arm, because Michael words hurt much, much more. He was the love of her live, the love she never thought she'd have when she understood what her life as a Division agent was going to be like. They came such a long way, been through so much only to end up like this. Together, yet worlds apart. Not knowing what to say to each other, unable to look each other in the eyes. She knew Michael was deeply hurt and that his feelings for her kept him from understanding her reasons for leaving. Sure, he knew them, but he couldn't understand. She vividly remembered him saying, during one of their missions, when she drugged him in order to go alone after their target, that if she did that again, leave him behind, their relationship would be over. So she was fully aware of the consequences when she left. It hurt like hell, but she had to do it. She loved him too much to be responsible for his death. Hell, she was willing to kill the president of the United States for him. So his words stung more than any bullet wound, but she took it all in. She closed her eyes to stop the tears, kept her head down and didn't say a word. She was empty and didn't know what to say. Suddenly she felt a strong hand on her chin lifting her head up. She opened her eyes and took a deep breath when she saw her nerdy, brave, impossibly smart friend standing in front of her with misty eyes. It was all it took to make those damn tears run freely on her face.

She's been through so much the last few days, not sleeping, not eating, almost killed and then this…this was too much. She wanted to run and disappear forever. But then Birkhoff opened his arms and enveloped her in the biggest hug ever and all she wanted to do was to stop the time. Instead she cried, she cried more than she ever cried in her life. She needed it, she needed to let it all out in order to clear her head. Birkhoff allowed her the time to settle down and when she did, he helped her sit down on the nearest chair.

Well…hi…Birkhoff said in his normal sarcastic voice

Hi, Nikita said with a small smile. Sorry you had to see me…you know…break down like that…I just…

Stop, this is the one thing you don't need to apologize for. Sure, there are some things you would have to grovel for a long time to make up to, but not this.

Nikita smiled, Birkhoff could always put a smile on her face, no matter how hard things were. He was also the one who could always tell her the nasty truth in her face. She really loved him for that.

Thank you…really…

I know…

Nikita took another deep breath and looked behind Birkhoff, where Ryan stood silently, smiling understandingly at her.

Well, let's hear it. Let it all out, I can take it, Nikita said with a sad voice.

Ryan came and sat down next to her. He took her hands in his, looked her in the eyes and said:

Welcome home!

Nikita was blown away. No judgment, no harsh words, no cold stare, just kindness. She was humbled. She hugged Ryan and thanked him for understanding.

I understand…I don't approve of what you did, but I understand…you are too selfless for your own good, Nikita. I really hope you are planning to stay this time, because we're fighting something we can't even begin to comprehend and we need all the manpower we can get. We need you…and you need us.

I know…..I'm not going anywhere this time, trust me…

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