"You're leaving?" Penelope whispers again, and I hear in her voice that she is on the edge of tears.
"Yes. I'm leaving."
"B-but why? Is it because of-"
"You? Us? No, I just need to get out of here."
"You're lying to me."
"No, I'm not."
"Yes, you are!" she practically shouts, now pacing the living room as I sit down on the couch. I look at her confusedly, hoping that she continues. "You have tells, Aaron. I know when you're lying. We were together long enough for me to figure that out."
"What are you talking about?"
"You always scrunch your nose up a little bit when you're lying. At least, when you're lying to me. It looks a little bit like you're in pain."
"Do I really?"
"Yeah, it's pretty adorable," she responds, moving to the chair opposite from where I'm sitting. "So you're leaving because of me."
"Yes. I can't be around here anymore. I can't…be around you anymore. Especially now."
"Because of Derek?"
"Well, yes. And no. It's not just because of that. I can't be here where you can walk into my apartment at any moment. I can't be in my office knowing that you could be outside my office or walking down the hallway. The past few months have been hell, knowing that I could run into you anywhere at any time. Simultaneously wanting that more than anything and hoping desperately that that doesn't happen. I can't do this to myself anymore. I spend all of my time thinking about you, dreaming about you, and missing you. I need to stop. I need to move on. Move away. Get my life together, get myself together, and finish my doctorate. I can't do that here." After my little speech, I finally gather my courage and look up at Penelope only to see her crying silently.
"Aaron, I'm so sorry," she manages to get out.
"Penelope, please, don't. It's not worth it. You've said all you need to say and you're happy now, which is all I want for you."
"But Aaron, I care about you so much. I can't have you hurting because of things I did, things I said. That's not fair. You shouldn't have to leave."
"Well, honestly, Penelope, I don't see another solution."
"I'll leave."
"No, Penelope, you won't."
"Yes! I will. I'll transfer. You can stay and finish out your degree and live the life you would have if you hadn't met me in the first place."
"Penelope, your life is here. Your team is here. Your…boyfriend is here. I have nothing keeping me here anymore. Plus, you leave and I still have memories of you everywhere I turn. That's not a better solution. I'm leaving and you won't have to see me again. You can move on with your life. Be with Derek. Be happy."
"But I don't want you to leave."
"Penelope, please. Don't. Don't say things like that. You don't mean it. You and I both know that."
"But-"
"No. No more buts. It's going to be fine. You went three months without seeing me and you were totally fine. I saw the way you looked yesterday before you realized that I was there. That was the happiest I've ever seen you. Happier than I ever made you. You'll lead a wonderful life without me. You'll be better off with me gone. Now, I need to start packing."
"Why?"
"Well if I'm moving, I need to get my things together."
"I understand the concept of moving, Aaron. I meant why do you need to get your things together right now?"
"Because I'm moving on Friday."
"What?!"
"Yeah. I had already told my department chair and found a new apartment. I was just waiting for everything to be finalized."
"You're not waiting until the end of the semester?"
"No. I've finished my coursework here, so I just have my dissertation to finish and I can do that anywhere. There's nothing keeping me here anymore. The sooner I leave, the sooner things get better. For me, at least. So, I should really get started packing," I state, standing up and moving to my bedroom where I pick up some empty boxes and start packing.
After a few moments, I hear Penelope start to move, heading towards the door. I'm fairly sure I hear her pick something up before she whispers "Goodbye, Aaron." When I turn around, all I see is her hair as she exits, shutting the door quietly behind her. As soon as I'm sure she's gone, I do the only thing that makes sense in that moment, curl up in a ball on my bed and sob.
After a few long days of packing, making sure everything is finalized, and saying goodbye to my friends, moving day is finally here. I head into work one last time, turning in the last of the papers I'll grade here and saying goodbye to the faculty. I then go and sit in my office for a few minutes under the guise of making sure that I packed up everything. I take a few moments to reminisce about the last few years here, all the memories I've made, both good and bad. My thoughts, once again, revolve around Penelope and the time we've spent in this office. This is my final goodbye to her. I leave today, and I refuse to bring her with me.
After taking a final walk down the English hallway, I head out the front door, taking mental pictures to remember my time here. Finally, I head back to my apartment. I walk inside and it looks like a completely strange place with nothing inside but the last few boxes that I haven't yet packed. I take a walk around the small space, checking to make sure I didn't miss anything. When I walk into the bedroom, I see something lying on the floor. I pick up the small white envelope and see my name written across the front in the handwriting that I know better than my own. "Penelope," I whisper while staring at the envelope, trying to decide what to do.