My later memories were of the Church. Of its friendly inhabitants, white interior and expensive-looking furniture. When I first arrived I had no memories of anything except my name, Caelan, a name which everybody called me by. Years passed and, for various reasons, I faked my death. When I came back I had a hundred memories, both real and fake, and the name Kadence. And when I had regained my real memories I had my old name, Caelan, a name which I was no longer called by.

To them, I was 'Sun Knight'.

Those years were all part of my legend. To put my time as the Sun Knight simply… would be impossible. Together with my brothers I fought armies, braved storms, saved villages, competed with the other church's and so on. Needless to say, there was never a dull moment. Not all of my moments were spent with my brothers, however.

For instance, drinking with Teacher.

"Could you hurry up and finish your training already?" Judgement grumbled as he closed the door to my rooms after himself, stumbling slightly and rubbing his tired eyes. From one glance I could tell that he was hung-over, and I had a fair idea who had caused it.

"Teacher forced you into drinking again?" I asked sympathetically, gesturing for him to take a seat.

He did so with a nod, resting his head on the desk with a groan, "Close the curtains, will you? It's too bright in here…"

I closed the curtains quickly, knowing the pain of hangovers. When I had first started 'drinking training' I was always sporting horrid hang overs. Luckily the training had given me an immunity though, and I've never had a hangover since then.

"He's the devil," Judgment mumbled.

"Don't say that," I said reasonably as I sat in the chair opposite his.

"I didn't know that you cared enough about him to scold people for badmouthing him," Judgment said mildly. From anybody else it might have been an insult, but from Judgment it was just another comment.

"I don't really mind either way," I replied with a careless shrug, "But if he hears you, he'll probably kill you."

"… You're probably right," He shuddered as he sat up straighter. Suddenly he stilled and cocked his head, as though he was listening to something. In a hurried voice he demanded, "Is there anywhere I can hide?!"

"Uh," I looked around quickly, surveying the room, "The bathroom?"

He nodded and stood, all but sprinting to the bathroom. He made a gesture for me to be quiet before closing the door softly.

"Weirdo," I murmured as the front door of the room opened.

In stepped Metal, his feet dragging on the floor and his shoulders slumped miserably. Even his uniform was in disorder, with undone buttons and stains. I stared for a moment, blank as he proceeded to fall onto the couch.

"You too, huh?" I asked while patting his back sympathetically. He nodded and I sighed, "I know drinking with teacher can be hard, but don't you look a bit too beat up?"

"Metal?" Judgment poked his head out from the bathroom before sighing in relief.

"Who did you think it was?" Metal mumbled. His voice cracked, making him sound utterly pathetic.

"Grisia," Judgment admitted sheepishly before sitting back down at the table.

Metal shuddered before muttering, "Don't talk about him, he might show up."

"Why don't you just tell him no…" I trailed off as they looked at me, deadpan, "Okay that was a stupid suggestion. Pretend to faint?"

"You think we haven't tried that?" Metal asked incredulously, "He just… knows that we're faking it. He really is a devil…"

"It wouldn't be a problem if we could faint on will like Storm, or if we were lightweights like Earth and Ice," Judgment sighed, "For some reason it's like he wants to personally torture us."

"I'll talk to him," I said reassuringly, "I'll make sure he doesn't do it again, so stop looking so pitiful."

And so, drinking with Teacher became a solo mission for me. For the first time since childhood, I experienced a hangover. It was worth it, though. The other Twelve Holy Knights seemed immensely relieved, though they still insisted to help me get through it somehow. Some were helpful, like Judgment's platoon training with mine in the mornings. Some were… less helpful, like when Ice would bring me some cooking and insist I eat it to 'ease the stomach ache'.

It was like trying to put out a fire by putting gasoline on it, but I appreciated the thought. Most days, at least.

I recovered quickly though, and usually made the end of training sessions with my platoon. Even if some people accepted my position, others didn't seem so content with me suddenly returning.

I walked down the halls briskly, adjusting my uniform as I did so. The Twelve Holy Knights were usually expected to wear their usual uniform everywhere, including training. I had bribed Metal into making me a more suitable uniform for fighting.

How can they expect me to fight in that thing?! Everybody else seems to have sensible uniforms, but mine… How am I supposed to fight with all those layers, frills and buttons?! They're so annoying!

My current uniform was quite similar to the one Metal had offered me as a child; White, belted and… with little wings. I still thought it looked ridiculous, but anything was better than that inconvenient Sun Knight uniform, with all those fluttery bits that only got in the way… Is it a Knight uniform, or a uniform for prissy nobles?!

"Are you seriously saying you're content with this, Ellias?!" A familiar voice shouted as I approached the entrance to the training hall. I rounded the corner cautiously, pulling my face into its usual, brilliant smile. The Judgment platoon stood one side, and the Sun platoon the other. They were facing each other, and it almost looked like they were ready to fight. Upon closer inspection I noticed that the faces of the Judgment Platoon were, in fact, very angry and worried. My platoon had similarly irritated faces.

"Ignal, I've already told you it's okay," Ellias said reasonably. He stood in between the gathering, facing a very angry looking Ignal. I stared between the two vice captains for a moment, beginning to feel an anger of my own.

Ignal, you jerk! Don't tell me you're trying to pick fights with my Vice-Captain? Do you wanna die, punk?!

"Ahem," I coughed politely, dropping my brilliant smile and looking at Ignal coldly, "Is there a problem here?"

"C-Captain!" Ellias stood straighter, saluting respectfully and looking embarrassed, "There's no problem, Sir!"

"Ellias!" Ignal snapped angrily, darting a quick glare at me, "This is ridiculous! I know you want to be loyal, but this is too much!"

"What's a bit much, Vice-Captain Ignal?" I asked benevolently, smiling again as I crossed my arms in front of myself.

Ignal eyed me warily, but didn't back down. Instead he set his jaw and replied harshly, "You are, Captain Caelan."

I stared at him blankly as my platoon broke out into outraged protests.

"Ignal!" Ellias snapped, "We won't stand for you being rude to Knight-Captain Sun! Even addressing him by his first name… Do you want to fight the Sun Knight Platoon?!"

"It's not right, Ellias!" Ignal hissed, "You've practically been the Sun Knight for so long, how can you just let somebody else swoop in and steal your position?!"

I began to laugh softly, nodding my head in agreement.

"See how disrespectful he's being?" Ignal demanded, gesturing to me sharply, "He's just expecting everybody to greet him like he's a real knight! But look at him! He's not fit to be a Holy Knight, much less the Sun Knight! Look at how girly his figure is…"

My eye twitched in irritation.

Being criticized for taking the position as Sun Knight, I can understand. I chose to leave it behind, then just decided to come back.

But getting criticized for being weak? From the guy I beat senseless in training? Oh hell no.

"Ignal!" Ellias growled as he unsheathed his sword, his face as black as Judgment's robes, "Take that back!"

"No, Ellias," I said smoothly, gesturing for him to step back, "I can understand his opposition. If you're afraid that I'm not suited, I'm more than happy to duel you," I smiled sharply, "All of you. And if you still find me lacking, I'll step down immediately."

"Captain! You don't have to do something like that! We'll duel them in your stead…." Ellias trailed off helplessly as I shook my head.

With a critical eye I looked at the Judgment Platoon before nodding to myself, "Okay. All of you at once, then."

Silence fell over the hall until one of the Judgment Platoon members yelled angrily, "Are you trying to insult our platoon?!"

"Not at all," I said calmly, my smile brilliant, "Sun would never think of insulting the Judgment Platoon! It is just that Sun wishes this to be a quick affair, so as not to inconvenience his brothers. Oh!" I raised a hand to my mouth, biting my lip and casting them a worried glance, "Unless you think you'll need more people to beat me?"

"Even one would be enough!" Ignal snarled, drawing his sword and standing firmly opposite me, "Draw your sword!"

"No need," I smiled again, gesturing to the sky, "Sun is sure that the God of Light will grace Sun so that he does not need such advantages."

"Why you…" Ignal leapt at me angrily, dropping his swords and proceeding to try and punch me in the face. With an air of casualty I stepped to the side, firming my feet with Earth Magic and coating my hands with Wind Magic. With a small yawn I grabbed his fist mid-air, then brought my other elbow down on his back sharply. When he hit the ground the sound reverberated in the room, hard and painful.

"Ah," I smiled softly, "Brother Ignal is too hasty. Might the Judgment Platoon face Sun as one?"

Shortly after that, complaints of my position stopped. I would hear grumblings here and there, but they were quickly stamped out by the Sun and Judgment Platoons. The Sun Knight would declare angrily; 'Don't badmouth our Captain!', while the Judgment Platoon would hiss; 'Don't let that guy hear you saying that! Do you want to die?!'

The Sun Platoon thought that I was the perfect Sun Knight, and the Judgment Platoon… probably thought I was the devil.

They're both wrong, though. I never became the perfect Sun Knight.

The perfect Sun Knight would be somebody who was benevolent, kind, thoughtful, bright, didn't think of alcohol and so on. The perfect Sun Knight would protect his brothers with his life.

And me? Well I couldn't do both at once.

How can I be considered benevolent, when I would tear apart anybody that posed a threat to my brothers?

How can I be considered kind when I disappeared for so long?

How can I be considered thoughtful when I angrily charged into another kingdom's church after they spread foul rumors about my brothers?

Well, that last one was a moment of particular bad judgment from me, I'll admit. But they had been trying to frame Judgment, saying that he'd murdered some group of nobles and that he had to 'come to justice'. Tcht! So in the end I stormed into their church, my brilliant smile in place, and had threatened that if they wanted to get to one of my knights that they'd have to face me first. The situation had almost lead to a fight, and only Moon's great diplomacy got us out of the situation.

So I was never perfect. I might even have been a worse Sun Knight than my teacher. But that was never my top priority.

I just wanted to keep them all safe.

So badly.

Rain blanketed the clearing, dripping onto countless undead bodies and making the blood run in red trails down my skin. At some point in the fight I had sustained a deep wound to my left leg, and it exploded with pain every time I moved it. Luckily I only had to take two steps forward before I could collapse onto my knees, or I fear I might have passed out. A cut to my head was leaking blood, which blurred the vision in one of my eyes. It wasn't the blood running down my face that was dying the person in front of me red, though.

"C-Caelan," He coughed, blood smearing his lips. I grabbed his hand quickly, squeezing down on it firmly and trying to repress my shaking. His voice was shaky and broken as he continued softly, "You're okay. That's great-" He paused, his face clenched in pain before opening his eyes again, "I'm s-sorry that I wasn't fast enough."

"What are you talking about?" I whispered, squeezing his hand tighter, "Don't say sorry."

"But it's my fault you got cut," Tears rolled off the corners of his eyes, mingling with the rain and blood.

"How can you say that when you're lying here like this?!" I started to cry as well, feeling utterly helpless, "Why did you do that?! Throwing yourself in front of the blow like that…"

"Of course I did," He smiled, the edges of his eyes crinkling as he looked up at me, "I c-couldn't let you die again."

"The same goes for you, stupid!" I growled, sobs beginning to rock my whole body, "I won't let you die either! So hang in there, okay? If you don't… I'll be really angry! Okay?"

"Caelan?"

"Yeah?"

"I'm cold."

I wrapped my arms around his waist, using his arm as leverage to pull him up slowly. Slowly, feet dragging in the rain-speckled grass, we trudged. I held my sword firmly in my free hand, having already exhausted my magic. Every few steps I would cast a quick healing spell, hoping with every fiber of my being that it would be enough to keep him alive until we reached the clerics. Pain wrapped around my left leg like a dragon, but I ignored it. Every blast of pain meant that we were one step closer to a cleric. One step closer to saving him.

"Caelan, you're leg… I'm slowing you down. Leave me," He sounded more determined than I had ever heard him.

"No!" I shouted angrily, clenching my teeth so tight that I thought my jaw would break, "I'll never leave you behind!"

He chuckled before saying in a distant voice, "You said the same when we were children. Remember?"

"Of course I do, dummy," I growled, tears blurring my vision.

"Hey Caelan?"

"Yeah?"

"I've always looked up to you. You were always so strong, but you never got angry at having to wait for me to catch up… even now… Why is that? Why do you always hold out your hand to me, even though I'm so much weaker than you?"

"You aren't weak," I whispered, "And I'll never leave you behind, because you're my important brother."

We continued in silence for awhile before he said, in an even quieter voice, "I'm so glad that I got to grow up with you. You, too, are my important brother. I'm so happy we got to take naps together. That we got to run around and play games. That we got to sneak out and make our teachers furious. That we got to eat Ice's cooking together."

"So am I. That's why we're going to keep making those memories together, alright?"

Silence met my question.

"Hey?" I shook him slightly, fear chilling my bones, "Hey! Don't scare me! Come on! Say something!"

Silence still.

"Damn it!" I shouted to the sky angrily as I dragged him along, my body screaming at me, "You aren't allowed to die, damn you! We're supposed to eat Ice's crappy cooking again! You're not allowed to die! You're not allowed to leave me in a world without you! Are you listening, Kaden?! I won't let you die! Because even if I got to choose a thousand times over, I would choose to have grown up with you! Because we're brothers! So don't you dare die, Kaden Earth!"

I went over my usual 2000 word limit… whoops. And once again, I bring you a cliffhanger… *Hides under turtle shell*

I actually… found myself crying while writing that last bit. I wrote it listening to Safe and Sound, which just… feels. I can't even.