Chapter 5

Alex was just finishing writing her speech for the next day, when she felt a light touch on her shoulder. As always, Nikita crept up behind her, without her even noticing it.

You have to teach me how to do that, because I never seem to be able to do it quite like you, Alex said while receiving the cup of hot tea Nikita brought for her.

I'll have to think about that. Giving up all my secrets could make me boring some day, Nikita said winking at Alex.

Oh, yeah, like that's going to happen in this life time, Alex said laughing at the absurdity of that statement. Wow, tea, I guess Birkhoff is really into living a healthy life these days, she said with amusement in her voice, sipping the welcomed hot liquid.

Wrong, it's Ryan we should be thanking for this unexpected treat!

Yeah, I guess I should've known Birkhoff would never give up his taurine fix.

Pretty much!

Nikita sat down on a chair next to Alex, content to just enjoy a cup of tea with her best friend.

So, what are you working on?

Oh, just my speech for tomorrow. I'm supposed to talk in front of these girls who survived sex slavery and addictions, just like me, and I'm freaking out. The famous and infamous Alexandra Udinov, the scandalous Russian heiress is freaking out over a speech, Alex said with a nervous laugh.

Nikita looked at hear warmly, knowing very well what Alex was afraid of.

Alex, you have spoken before large crowds before. What's different now?

I don't know….it's just that these girls are….Alex said, letting her head fall down, eyes focused on the cup in her hands. Never mind, it'll pass, I'll be fine, I always am.

Nikita put her cup aside and lifted Alex's chin so she could look into those beautiful blue eyes that she loved so much. Alex's eyes were like an open book to her and she needed to see what was going on there and make sure Alex would hear and understand her every word.

Alex, look at me…you are afraid…you have spoken before large crowds before, but this time it's different. These girls are just like you, survivors. Seeing them it will be like looking in the mirror and that scares the crap out of you. You are afraid that survivor's guilt will come back to haunt you. But Alex, as I have told you before, always remember that you surviving that hell it's someone else's chance at surviving, too. The fact that you survived shouldn't make you feel guilty, it should make you happy that you now have the chance to help thousands just like you. You are giving a lot of girls their lives back, their hopes of having a good life again. How could that ever be wrong? How could that ever make you feel guilty? You are a survivor Alex…and your mission now is to help others learn to survive, too. You have a gift and now it's the time to use it.

Alex looked at Nikita with tears in her eyes, knowing that leaving Mumbai and coming here was indeed the right choice. Only Nikita could give her such clarity about her life.

Like you were the one who saved me, taught me how to survive, gave meaning to my life. I will never be able to thank you enough for that.

Alex, your presence in my life is all the reward I need. Saving you was saving myself. Was a chance to make right what I did wrong. You are my reward! Nikita said with determination in her voice, making sure Alex really understood what she meant to her.

Thank you for the pep talk, Alex said, whipping a lone tear from her face.

Anytime! And how about that speech? I would love to hear it.

Would you, really?

Do you really have to ask?

Well, feel free to stop me when you get bored, Alex said reaching for her laptop.

Don't you worry about that, just read, I'm all ears.

Ok, but don't laugh to hard….

Alexxx, Nikita said warningly.

Ok, ok, point taken…..here it goes…

"Hello! My name was Sacha. And a few years ago I was just one of you. I've been thinking about what I'm going to say to you for a few days now. I've contemplated a big speech, full of motivating phrases and big words you would probably forget the minute I'm gone. I, too, heard them and they meant nothing until I've been told the story behind those words. So, today, I'm going to tell you Sacha's story. Your story. It all started with the death of my parents. They were killed and I was saved. I lived. I was then entrusted in the care of one of my father's employees, but he sold me to sex traffickers so he could feed his family. He gave the name Sacha, telling me to keep it if I want to live. So I did. My life as Sacha was a living, breathing hell. I was drugged on a daily basis and because of that I instantly became an addict. I was battered, bruised, raped, but most of all humiliated. I was nobody. Just a tool for money making. I lived in an underground establishment, sharing the smallest room you could ever imagine with many other girls just like me. I was only allowed to come out when I was asked to perform my duties and those were the only moments I ever saw the world outside. I never saw the sun, because we only performed at night, so the Moon was the highlight of my existence. Every time I was out, all I could do was stare at the moon. It was my only friend back then and I still find it miraculous. Somehow, I managed to escape Vlad, my owner, as he called himself. But that was only the beginning of another hell. By then drugs were the only thing I lived for and being on my own, with no money, was hard to get them. So I began to do what I did best, sex. I slept with everyone and anyone for a speed ball. I was a sex slave again…..but this time my own sex slave. My life meant nothing to me, so I couldn't care less if I lived or died. I was capable of anything for a dose. The way I lived, I would have surely ended up dead in a ditch somewhere, sooner rather than later. And that was fine by me. After all, I had nothing to live for. Until one day. One ordinary day, when the person who saved me before, when my parents got killed, saved me again. She got me clean, took care of me, nurtured me, taught me how to take care of myself and told me the story that got me into that miserable state. She gave my life meaning, purpose. She saved me then and she keeps saving me every day of my life. She became my best friend and my mentor. I wouldn't be here today, sharing this with you, if it weren't for her. But even after my life got back on track, I still had problems. This time with myself. I felt guilty and I am sure you all know what I'm talking about. I was constantly wondering why me? Why did I lived and my parents died? Why did I survived and most of the girls in the brothel didn't? Why was I so lucky, so special? I was first a spoiled, lucky child, then an addict whore. So why was I worth it? I am sure you are all wondering the same thing. Well this is the part when I will use big words and I'm asking you to please hear me, because your survival depends on it. I understand now that surviving that hell it's someone else's chance at surviving, too. The fact that I survived does not make me feel guilty anymore, it makes me happy. I now have the chance to help thousands just like me. To give girls like me and you the hope of having a good life again. How could that ever be wrong? How could that ever make me feel guilty? I am a survivor…I lived so that others can live and my mission now is to show you that it is possible to recover. I received a gift and now it's the time to use it. Life comes full circle and for me now is that time. Don't let the guilt eat you inside. I did and it only brought me death and pain. Get your lives back on track and spend it wisely, make right where you did wrong, help in return. Only then you will realize it's worth it, that you are worth it. So, now that I've shared with you Sacha's story, I can properly introduce myself. Hello again, I am Alexandra…..and I am a survivor!"

Nikita's vision was blurred from all the tears and she was speechless. She couldn't move, she couldn't blink because she was afraid she would break down and cry forever. She never heard Alex speak like that about her life as a sex slave. Sure, she knew about it, but hearing it with those words was unbearable.

Well, that last part about my mission and all I've just added it now from my head and going put it in my speech also. Your little pep talk gave me clarity you know? You always manage to do that, somehow…. Alex was waiting for a reaction and when she got none, she started to freak out.

Oh, God, that was totally lame and you hated it, right? And now you think I'm lame, which I probably am, I know. I will delete that and write it all ov…..

Alex's rambling was interrupted by a bone crushing hug. Nikita's hands were so tightly wrapped around her neck that she could barely breathe. She was a bit confused and being deprived of air in her lungs was not helping at all.

…Can't…breathe….Nikita….

Nikita pulled back in an instant, realizing that she might kill her friend from so much love. She whipped out her tears and looked deeply into Alex's eyes.

Hey…are you okay? Did I say something wrong in my speech? I can write another one if this one is that bad, I didn't mean to….

Do you have ANY idea how impossibly PROUD I am of you? Nikita said, getting herself back together.

Nikita…..

Never in a million years I would've imagined that the girl I saved just to right a wrong, would become such an essential part of my life.

Alex was staring at her mentor as tears began to form in her eyes.

You have come such a long way, evolved so much. You bloomed. You are amazing Alex and I love you more than you will ever know. I am so, so proud of you! Don't ever forget that, please!

I won't…and I love you, too…more than anything. And I would have never made it without you.

Yes you would have! I know now that you would have. You are so strong and so special. You would have done it. After a moment of comfortable silence, Nikita spoke again. Can I hug you now? I promise I won't try to kill you this time, she said smiling.

Alex threw her head back in laughter and then hugged Nikita with all the love she had in her hart.