"You seem so out of context in this gaudy apartment complex,

A stranger with your door key explaining that I am just visiting,

And I am finally seeing,

Why I was the one worth leaving,"

–The Postal Service "The District Sleeps Alone Tonight"

Chapter Thirty-Nine:

"Oh! So the tricky girl with the tough demeanour can shed tears like the rest of us?" I heard a nasal voice cackle bitterly behind me.

I groaned internally at my horrid luck to pick this bathroom of all bathrooms, whirling around to find Moaning Myrtle hovering behind me, "What do you want?" I snapped, trying to shield me face.

She laughed at me, "Oh, that's no use. We can all see you've been sobbing, the question is what's got the strong Riley O'Conner into such a fix?"

"That's none of your business, Myrtle," I growled, "How about you just go back to moaning in your cubical,"

"So rude you are to the only person who's trying to comfort you!" She said tetchily, folding translucent arms across her chest.

"Comfort me? Comfort me?! This is what you call comfort? Disrupting my selfish wallowing?" I hissed at her, not realising that my tears had all dried up and my sadness had been converted into annoyance.

She rolled her eyes and murmured under her breath, "It might be easier is you weren't so irritable,"

I grinded my teeth, "Ugh, I'm fighting with a ghost, how pathetic!"

"Not as pathetic as those tear stains, dearie. Although by the looks of your unrequired bow, I see why. He's a looker, he is," Myrtle wiggled her eyebrows.

I chuckled slightly, "Okay, that's enough, just let go back to being an angsty teenager,"

The swap green-tinged girl arched an eyebrow, "Are you still sad, though?"

I had to think for a moment, "… No actually… I feel much better… thank you,"

The ghost shrugged, "I get girls and boys running in here crying more than you'd think, I'm used to it. Last one was some Hufflepuff names Adriana or Arianna or something,"

A pang of guilt hit my heart at the mention of her name, but I tried to ignore it.

"So you what? Help people? Give therapy?" I questioned curiously and she nodded, "But why?"

"Because I'm dead, and I died crying in this bathroom and I don't want that to happen to anybody else… Plus I viciously live through you all," Myrtle smiled ever so slightly; a real smile.

I gave her indifferent look, "You live through sad people?"

"I'm dead, Riley. And sad people remind me what I once was," she shrugged at me, "Have fun at the party," she said with a forced smile and drifted of back through the door to her toilet.

For a moment I thought about how she knew, but then disregarded the thought as I checked myself in the mirror to double check it didn't appear as if I'd been crying. Then with a slight nod to myself, I headed back towards Gryffindor Tower.

Because I'm going to a party tonight and I'll be damned if I allow Sirius bloody Black to ruin it for me.

I'd never considered myself a vain person; I didn't spend forever every morning morphing myself or applying various cosmetics. Most days I just let my features slip and slide depending on my moods (which some find to be quite uncomforting) but today, I grinned at myself, proud I'd been able to achieve a certain shade of turquoise that usually seemed to elude me.

There was a common misconception that people believed I had to concentrate to keep my form, but really, after the initial morphing it takes about the same amount of concentration as walking or breathing does. It's completely natural to me.

Wearing dark blue skinny jeans, a flannelette shirt, burgundy bow-tie, fingerless gloves and my signature vintage strawberry converse; I walked down the stairs to find James waiting with a grin on his face.

"Sup, Vixen," he greeted me and threw the invisibility cloak over my head.

Being caught in the corridors so late would warrant a good few detentions and while most other kids had to find more complicated and creative ways of getting to the Room of Requirement, we simply walked there, passing any teachers that happened to be monitoring the corridors. Hidden in plain sight.

We approached the Room of Requirement, quickly slipping off the cloak. Standing where the door should be we waited for it to materialise. Hamish Thomas has said that it'd show itself if you were invited, but still I held my breath for the few seconds before I saw a simple looking wooden door carve itself out of the stone.

With a gigantic grin, we pushed through and into the room.

What I first noticed was that there was a curious mash-up between Rabid Thestrals and The Twig Witches playing. Sixth and sevenths years crowded the room, as James and I pushed through the crowd towards Alice and Andi, who were waving us down.

"Ugh you didn't even wear a dress," were the first words that came out of Andi mouth, "I swear to god, Riley, if that's a bow-tie…" she drunkenly pointed to my neck.

"It's a bowtie," I stated bluntly, smirking.

She threw her hands up in the air, spilling fire whiskey and loudly proclaimed, "Fuck this, I'm going to go find my Teddy Bear," and then proceeded to saunter off.

The three of us laughed, "So did you guys just get here?" Alice asked.

I nodded, "Yeah. Seems like everything's already in full swing though."

"It's nearly midnight what'd you expect!" Alice laughed, sounding slightly tipsy.

Together James, Alice and I walked towards the benches off to the side of the floor and sat down.

"So where's Fred?" James asked.

"S'not here. He was going to come but he felt kinda ill so he ended up going to the infirmary. Too bad, would've been better with him here," Alice explained.

'Well, at least somebody's with Remus tonight' I thought, feeling the knot in my stomach loosen slightly.

We sat there talking for a while before Alice jumped up, having finished her drink and going for another.

"You guys want anything?" she asked both James and I.

"What do you think?" James laughed and nodded, but I shook my head.

Alice tried and failed to mask her surprise, "Um, really?"

"Yeah, I'm not drinking tonight," I said through slightly clenched teeth. Alice shrugged and walked away.

James turned to me, a serious look on his face, "Dude, lighten up 'kay and stop scanning the crowd for Sirius. Yes, he is here, but don't depress yourself. Loosen up and have fun for Merlin's sake,"

I sighed with a shrug, "I'll give it a shot,"

Rolling his eyes Prongs jumped up and grab bed my wrist, "Oi!" I exclaimed as he dragged me to my feet.

"C'mon, we're dancing," he grinned mischievously and I allowed myself to be dragged to the dance floor.

Dancing had never really been my thing; I was all scrawny and gangly with lanky limbs that sorta awkwardly swayed out of time to the beat whenever I attempted movement. Still when you're surrounded by people, sweat dripping down your forehead with music coursing through the air and a bass rattling your bones… the inhibitions you hold so close just seem to disappear.

Well, until somebody accidentally spills firewhisky over you. It was like severing a thread in my mind; suddenly I remembered who I was and that knot resurfaced in my stomach and the energy dispersed and my smile faltered. The guy drunkenly tried apologising but I pushed my way off the floor, James trying to follow me but getting lost in a sea of hyped-up students.

Eventually I found the bathroom, pushing the door open to be greeted with the sight of a couple pressed against the wall, tongues down each other's throats.

I cleared my throat awkwardly and they broke apart, flushing red with swollen lips – quickly scampering out and back into the party.

As I assessed the damage and tried to recall a quick cleaning spell from my scattered memory, the door swung open again.

I half assumed it to be another drunken couple but instead it was Lily.

"Oh, hey Riley," she smiled.

"Sup," I greeted her bluntly.

She eyed my shirt, "You spill your drink?"

I shook my head, "Nah, not drinking tonight; it was some other asshole," I tried not to let the surprise in her eyes get to me as she continued, "You need help? Try the Tergeo spell,"

"Um, what's that again?" I asked feeling unsure.

Lily smiled and grabbed the hem of my shirt, "Here… Tergeo," she spoke clearly, flicking her wand towards my stain and pulling it backwards. I watched as the firewhisky was pulled from my shirt and tapped into the sink.

"Thanks," I spoke genuinely.

"No problem. So who are you here with tonight?" she asked nonchalant.

"Me and James came as friends since we can't go with who we want to go with," I shrugged, it was common knowledge now, "You?"

She winced ever so slightly, "Oh, I came with Severus and a few of his friends,"

"So where are they?" I questioned. It was a sort of vindictive question as I knew exactly why she was alone, they say I saw it was that even though Lily and I held our differences, she still deserves better friends than those spineless Slytherin's she hangs about with. I don't even know why, all they do is copy her homework and whisper 'idiotic mudblood' behind her back.

"They don't really like me much… being muggle-born and everything," she stated awkwardly, looking down at her shoes.

I frowned, feeling momentarily sorry for her. A heavy awkward silence fell in the air, "You look like shit," Lily finally said with a blunt tone.

"Thank you, and here I thought my bowtie would be a snazzy eye-catching piece," my sarcasm was as dry as sandpaper.

She exhaled, shaking her head, "Will you never change?"

"Not likely. I find my genuine disinterest in the world genuinely inspirational," I replied bluntly, a small smile creeping at the corners of my mouth.

"You're impossible," sighing, Lily smiled slightly.

"That's the point," I muttered incoherently.

"Well see you later," She semi-waved, "You're welcome for the help,"

Then with a nod Lily Evens was gone, leaving me alone in the bathroom once again to mull over my thoughts.

I'd been sitting with James for a while and was growing genuinely irritated with his moon-sized puppy-dog eyes fixed on Evens across the room.

"Oh bloody hell! Go talk to her you idjit!" I snapped at him.

He turned to look at me in slight shock, "Wha-What you talkin' 'bout?"

I rolled my eyes at his supposed innocence, "I'm talkin' about Lily and you know it, Potter. You've been eyeing her all night and she's over there sitting alone. You might as well give it a shot,"

"But then what're you going to do?" he questioned, eyeing me cautiously.

I shrugged, "I'm probably going to head in and go to bed. It's already two in the morning. Plus our current conversation isn't exactly riveting…"

"You're funny," He frowned at me and I managed a forced smile, "Well if that's okay with you…" James trailed off, eyeing Lily again.

Chuckling softly I said, "Just go and score yourself a red-head,"

He grinned and threw me the invisibility cloak, "Take it and don't get caught,"

And with that he left, sauntering over to the girl he's been chasing for far too long. As for myself, I stood and made a B-line for the door.

Tonight had been almost a complete fail, it didn't matter how hard I tried or how happy everybody else was, my mood seemed to decrease the more time I spent attempting happiness. It just reminded me of a different party, the one where I got so pissed I couldn't even remember the fact that my best friend was going to ask out a girl. A different girl.

At first I was slightly taken aback by the cool quiet and bitter cold corridors after being cramped in that loud and noisy room for too long. Throwing the invisibility cloak around my shoulders to keep warm my eyes began adjusting to the darkness and I began making my way down the corridors. I was around half way back to the Common Room when flickering light and raised voices caught my attention. Scared that it may be a teacher lecturing some students that had been caught out, I flipped the hood over my head made myself entirely invisible and peeked around the corner.

I felt my stomach drop as I saw Sirius being held up against the wall by two Slytherin's while Severus pointed his wand at him. Sirius was writhing against them but his attempts were sloppy, given his heavily intoxicated state and wasn't able to fight free.

Without thinking, I flipped the cloak around to show the grey-green side and morphed, sauntering up to the group.

They immediately let Sirius go, letting him slide down the wall as they jumped back and dropped their wands.

"P-P-Professor McGonag-g-gal," Avery stuttered, eyes wide.

"What on Earth do you think you're doing?!" I spoke highly, trying to compose myself as the professor did, "This sort of behaviour is not permitted at Hogwarts. Fifty point each from Slytherin! Now get to bed while I escort Siri-Mr Black to the Infirmary. We'll be talking in the morning and your parents will definitely be hearing of this!"

And with that the three boys scuttled away, sweeping their wands off the floor.

I smiled to myself as they disappeared around the corner and morphed back, going to help Sirius.

"Are you alright?" I asked with worry in my voice.

"I'm all okey dokey… the snakes didn't get a spell in, although my tummy hurts…" he said poking his stomach as I helped him up off the floor, "Thanks so lots, Vixxxxen,"

I could smell the whisky on his breath and rolled my eyes. Sirius looked slightly dazed, staring at the high ceiling of the corridor dreamily, "I miss you sometimes, Little Fox…"

I looked down at him, slightly taken back with shock painted across my face, "What are you talking about? I'm right here, where I'll always be,

He shook his head, "No, no, no, I miss your freckles… I haven't seen your freckles in such a long time…"

"Excuse me?" I stared at him, mouth slightly open in confusion.

He brushed my electric-blue fringe out of my eyes, "You're hair… it's meant to be curly and copper… Riley's messy copper, copper curls!" his eyes slightly dazed as he grinned at me.

I stared at him curiously, "How much did you drink?"

"And your eyes… they're wrong. You have w-w-wrong eyes, Little Fox,"

I arched an eyebrow, "You're completely off you face, aren't you?"

He shook his head, "Nahhhh, I only had one drink… and another…" he looked confused, "And a bottle… alcohol is like… like fire-water… like your eyes, Little Fox. Fire! Amber fire!"

"My eyes are… fire?" It was more a question, than a statement, "They're green now, Padfoot, green's way better than brown,"

"Your real eyes, they're like fire! Beautiful, burning amber fire!" he paused and seemed to doze off for a second before snapping back into focus, "Wear your real eyes, Little Fox…"

I looked at him now, as he beamed at me, "W-why?"

"They're beautiful… like… like… like Riley! Do you know my best friend Riley?" he asked cheerfully, "She's my Little Fox… did you know you're my Little Fox? 'Cause I found you, found you in a tree, remember? Being all sneaky-like, like a fox!"

I was speechless, so I mumbled stupidly the first thing that came to mind, "Huh… uh… what?"

"I wana see real Riley… I haven't seen real Riley in forever and…. a moth…" he started dozing off now, so I slapped him on the cheek and his head snapped up, "Just let me see Riley…"

I took a good proper look at him, beaming up at me as he leaned on my shoulder for stability. With a short sigh I began to morph into my usual self without any alterations. Copper curls fell on my shoulder and my usual dull brown eyes.

"Amber fire eyes…" he mustered and I began to walk him back towards the Gryffindor Common Room.

Padfoot continues muttering his nonsense ramblings all the way back. When we reached the Common Room it was entirely deserted. Helping him up the stairs proved trickier than I expected but we eventually made it to the dorm. The only one there was Wormtail, who was snoring loudly in his deep sleep.

I removed his shoes and assisted him into bed, "Thank you so much, Riley… you're still my bestest friend…" he muttered mid-yawn as I walked away, back down the stairs and into the Common Room wondering if he'd remember any of it tomorrow.

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