So, this is the last chapter. Could you believe this was supposed to be a one shot Nalex fanfic? Well, me neither! But stories do have a tendency to write themselves, so I ended up with a multi-chapter. I hope you enjoyed it and if you have any particular idea for a Nalex fiction you would like to read, just tell me and I will try my best to come up with something. Reviews are welcomed, as always! Thank you! Enjoy!

Chapter 6

Nikita was lying in her bed, trying to fall asleep. She still needed her rest after being shot. Looking to her right, she saw Alex was sleeping peacefully in a bed not very far from hers and smiled content at the thought that her friend was resting after a day filled with so many emotions. She closed her eyes again trying to fall asleep, when she suddenly heard Alex.

N…no…NO…Alex's voice became louder as she began to toss and turn in her bed.

Nikita's eyes shot open and she was on her feet in a matter of seconds. She realized Alex was having a nightmare again and she remembered what Birkhoff told her. Then memories flooded her all over again. Memories of Alex having nightmares, while there were just the two of them in their old penthouse. Back then, what haunted Alex's dreams were her parents being killed, but now, Nikita knew it was her who was tormenting her friend's mind. She rushed to Alex's bedside and tried to calm the girl down.

Sshhh….it's ok, Alex, it's ok, I'm here now….It's jus…

No….Nikita….don't lea….I'm sorry…..don't leave…..don't leave me….Alex was sobbing in her sleep and tears were streaming down her face.

Alex….Alex, please, wake up, I'm here baby…..Alex, wake up, look at me!

NOOOOO…Alex screamed as she opened her eyes in panic, not knowing where she was. Nikitaa….Alex said in a whimpering voice. Where is Nikita?

Alex, look at me, I'm here. You are awake now, Alex, look at me! Although she was dying inside, Nikita's voice was firm. She needed to be strong for her friend.

Nooo, get away from meeee, I want Nikita! Where is she? Alex's face was the definition of pain. Her eyes were unfocused and looking everywhere in the room.

Suddenly, Birkhoff came out of nowhere. He heard Alex's screams and knew exactly what was going on.

Move, he said, I've got this!

Birkhoff, please, I can't leave!

Niki, step aside and let me handle this. I've been through it before, I know what to do, you'll be here for her later. Now move!

Nikita reluctantly moved away from the bed and watched helplessly. It was all she could do for the moment.

Alex, breeeathe, in and out, Birkhoff said in a soothing voice. Look at me, focus on my voice and breathe. You can do this. Come back, Alex, focus! He was firmly holding her face, forcing her to look into his eyes. Slowly, Alex's rapid breath began to calm down. She stopped shaking and seemed to come back to reality.

Birkhoff…where am I….what's happening…..did I…..Alex stopped mid sentence when she saw Nikita standing a few feet away, with a desperate look on her face and tears in her eyes.

Yeah….you did…Birkhoff said in a low voice.

Oh, God…...I'm so sorry…..

Hey, stop, you don't have to apologize. It's been a hard day for you. Are you ok now?

I think so….I'm good…

Then I'll leave you two alone. I think you need to talk….

Birkhoff…Alex said, looking right into her friend's eyes, Thank you!

Birkhoff nodded understandingly and left the room.

Alex couldn't look at Nikita. She was embarrassed and sad that she had to see her like that. She didn't want her friend to know about her nightmares. Well, she knew about them, courtesy of Birkhoff, but she didn't want her to actually witness them. So she kept staring at her hands, hoping Nikita will let this go.

Alex…..

"Here we go", Alex thought. Who was she kidding? After all, this was Nikita. She would never let such a thing go. It was definitely going to be a talk and she was not prepared for it.

Nikita, please, I don't want to talk about it. It's fine. These things happen sometimes, but I'm sure it'll go away eventually, especially now that you're back. So, could we just let it be?

Alex…look at me…don't you know me by now? This is not FINE and we're not just going to let it go! Not anymore! So now I am asking you to talk to me. I'm here now, so let's talk. I can handle anything as long as we are being honest to each other, but I can't handle you hiding things from me. Okay?

Okay…Alex reluctantly said. But if I'm going to do this, you have to listen to me till the end and not interrupt me.

Deal!

Alex took a deep breath and began to talk. It was now or never, she thought.

It was my fault…..you left and it was all my fault….

Alex…

Nikita, don't interrupt me. We agreed on this!

Okay…..I'm sorry…..go on….

After I came back from Amanda I was all screwed up. I did nothing but fight you, I almost killed Ryan, I started a mutiny and I got Sean killed. But after everything I did, you still trusted me, defended me, came for me and brought me back. You trusted me and I failed you miserably. When you left I realized it was all my fault and that broke me. Sean was dead! Dead, Nikita! Because of me the man I loved was dead. We were all on the run and you were the most wanted woman in the world. All because of me! I wanted to die, to disappear forever. I was depressed, confused, mad….I was going crazy! But what killed me the most was not knowing if you were still alive. If I was ever going to see you again. I just couldn't breathe! You have no idea how many times I wanted to leave everything behind and come find you. Fortunately, Birkhoff was able to stop me once and then I stopped trying. In a rare moment of sanity, I realized that you taught me better and coming after you would have done more harm than good. I did what you would have done, I stayed. I somehow got back on my feet and moved on the best I could. But the guilt I felt never went away. I will never apologize enough for what I did. I disappointed you and you left. I am just a big, big disappointment to you and that thought is killing me….I'm sorry and I hope you'll forgive me some day…..

Nikita was speechless, numb. Could Alex really think she was a disappointment to her? Could her leaving have done such harm to the girl she loved with all her heart? What could she do now? How could she convince Alex she was anything but a disappointment?

Nikita…please, say something….anything…..Alex said, looking into her friend's eyes.

Alex…..I'm just…I didn't understand until now how much I have hurt you by leaving…..

Nikita….you did no…

No, please, let me say this. And I am begging you to really listen to me and trust me that I'm saying the truth. Can you do that for me?

I can…..

Alex…when I saved you from that fire, it was the first time I ever disobeyed Division's orders. It was the moment when I proved to myself what I have become. A better person. When I saved you again from Ronnie it was my chance to redeem myself. You gave me that chance. When we started this fight, together, only the two of us, I knew I finally have someone to live for. The stake was even bigger because now I had something to lose, too. You! I could lose you and that was not acceptable to me. When you took a bullet for me I realized that I had someone who would have my back for life. When I decided to stay and run Division, you stayed by me, no questions asked, even if that cost you your relationship with Sean. When Amanda took you, I wanted to move the earth to find you. When you relapsed, I wasn't there for you. When you weren't yourself, I didn't notice you. I failed you, not the other way around. When you went to save those girls I came for you because there was no other way. I couldn't let you die there alone. You jump, I jump, remember? But Alex…..never….and I mean NEVER in all these years have I ever been disappointed in you! Not even when you shot me, because I understood your confusion. Not even when you joined Amanda and fought against me. Not even when your mind was so messed up that you couldn't distinguish right from wrong. NEVER! If anything, I am proud of you. You went through all these horrible things and you pull through! You are the strongest person I know and disappointment is not a word I would ever use to describe you. I am proud of you, Alex. So proud I could explode! YOU are my biggest accomplishment! You are the proof that I did something good in this life! So, please, stop saying all this nonsense and most of all, stop saying you are a disappointment to me, because if I hear you saying it one more time, I swear I will kill you myself! Are we clear on that?

Alex cried and laughed at the same time. It was liberating to hear all those things from Nikita. And she believed her, every word of it.

Thank you…for everything…Alex said, hugging Nikita tight.

No, thank you!

They stayed like that, hugging each other, for a few moments. Neither wanted to let go, but Nikita knew they both needed sleep.

Okay…..now that the drama is over, we both need to rest. I was shot, remember? And you need a clear head for tomorrow. So, back to sleep. We'll be fine, Alex. Everything will be ok. We've been through hell, we'll make it this time, too. I have to believe this and you have to believe it, too.

Okay….

Nikita kissed Alex's forehead and stood up to get back to bed.

Nikita…..Alex said, holding Nikita's hand

Yeah…..

Could you…..sleep by my side tonight? I want to feel safe, if only for just one night….

I would love it, Alex, Nikita said smiling.

Alex joined their beds together and Nikita laid down next to her, holding her friend in a warm, comforting embrace.

Alex was happy. She felt safe and for the first time in months…..she could breathe! She knew that they had a long and hard battle ahead, but with Nikita by her side, she will never have to be afraid again.

I can breathe now, too, you know….Nikita said in a warm voice.

Never let me go, Nikita…and never leave me again….. Alex said, closing her eyes and just breathing in that beautiful moment, wanting nothing more than for it to last forever.

Never….

The End