THANKS FOR ALL THE REVIEWS! GETTING SO VERY CLOSE TO 200!

I have a new favourite word; CONNIPTION, meaning 'a fit of rage or hysteria' (for the people who know me outside the internet, this will make a lot of sense).

AND YES THE CHAPTER IS NAMED AFTER A LE MIS SONG BECAUSE LE MIS IS FUCKING AMAZING.

"I'll bleed out for you,

So I bare my skin,

And I count my sins,

And I close my eyes,

And I take it in,

And I'm bleeding out,

I'm bleeding out for you,"

–Imagine Dragons "Bleeding Out"

Chapter Forty:

I saw the Slytherin's across the room; Snape, Avery and Rosier cower as Professor McGonagall walked past them, unknowing of their utter fear. I decided I'd let them figure out that she had no idea on their own, of course they'd immediately tie it to me being a metamorphmagus, so I'll have to keep watch for revenge, but overall a few days of complete terror wouldn't hurt them… sadly.

Feeling half dead, I supressed the urge to fall flat into my breakfast; I'd forced myself awake today to catch the last round of breakfast at ten and I would suffer through it. There were very few fifth and sixth years sitting down, and if there were I could see them wincing every time cutlery hit the plate with a short clang.

Forking a heap of scrambled eggs into my mouth, I saw James enter the room looking like absolute shit as he wandered towards me.

"Fuck everything," he groaned, sitting down opposite me.

"Well, I guess I'll be taking the shift tomorrow night alone," I sighed, pushing mushrooms around my plate.

Prongs sent me a curious look, "What about, Lily?"

"Slug Club dinner," I explained and he nodded in understanding, "Don't worry, I can handle it alone. You need to get a strategy prepared for the next game against Ravenclaw; they may not be the best of flyers but they're key strategists,"

"Believe me, I know," he frowned in thought while piling his plate with eggs and bacon.

"So how was last night with Lily?" I asked with a full mouth of food.

He shrugged nonchalant, "Well we talked mostly, ended up leaving about half-an-hour after you. Then we talked for a while in the Common Room before heading to bed,"

Staring at him curiously, I looked for signs of a lie, "So that was it, nothing else?" I grinned, wiggling my eyebrows suggestively.

Laughing James shook his head, "It was mainly about the Order and such,"

I felt myself physically slump, "Seriously? You talked about work? Way to get in there, man,"

"Well, what was I meant to talk about then?" He questioned defensively.

I hit the table with my palm in a sudden conniption. I didn't think my anger had anything to do with them, but more the fact he has a chance and he blew it. What I'd give for a chance to sit and talk with Sirius.

"You ask how she is and talk about personal stuff. Merlin, James, you're stupid sometimes," I sighed, palming my forehead.

"Okay, okay. I get the point…" he said quickly, although I wasn't sure if it was just to pacify me.

Silence fell between us and I shovelled another load of mushroom into my mouth with a grimaced; I'd never particularly liked mushrooms.

"Moony! You're up and about I see," I exclaimed with a grin as I walked down the corridor towards the Common Room.

"Oh, hey Riley," Remus smiled, turning around to see me. I jogged ahead to walk with him.

"How're you feeling now?" I asked, examining his state. Still weak but any major wounds had been taken care of and amended. The last full moon hadn't been as bad as usual.

He smiled slightly, "Better, much better. Are you going to Hogsmead tomorrow?"

I shook my head and searched for a lie, "Too much homework. You?"

"Nurse Pomfrey said I had to stay within the castle if they were going to let me out of the Infirmary," he sighed, "I guess it's better than lying in bed all day,"

We reached the entrance and I whispered the password to the Fat Lady and she swung open the door. Entering the Common Room I could see it was very much the same as in the Great Hall; a great number of hungover students mixed with the slightly naïve younger years.

"What work have I missed?" he asked me, looking anxious.

"Not much, we have an Astronomy assignment but it's not until the week after next. I'll go get my notes for you to copy down,"

Remus nodded and walked towards his dorm to get his things. I walked up the stairs and down the corridor until I came to my dorm. Pushing open the door I found it empty, so quickly I unlocked my trunk and collected my books; Astronomy, Divination and Charms for homework and my pages of notes that I needed to sort through of different Order of the Phoenix meetings. With a slight nod to myself, I slammed my trunk to a close and left the room.

Finding Remus sitting in the marauders usual study table, I thumped my stack or work down on the table, "Here are the notes for the classes we share," I handed him the stack and he grimaced.

"Wish there was a copy spell," he sighed beginning with the Transfiguration notes.

I chucked and commented, "There probably is but the teachers purposely don't teach it to us,"

"Probably," he mustered and we fell into silence. I opened my Charms book up to the seventh chapter and began answering the set questions, breaking the quiet every once and a while to ask Moony a question.

It was around half an hour later that Remus stared curiously at one of the note pages, "Uh, Riley, what's this?" he asked, showing me the page.

At seeing the page I snatched it back, "Nothing. Forget it,"

It had contained a rough diagram of a secret room in Order's headquarters alongside a timetable for our shifts. I was kicking myself that I'd idiotically let it be mixed up in my homework.

"What's wrong? What was that map of? Is it somewhere in the castle," he questioned me with suspicion.

"It's none of your business, Lupin," I snapped, stacking by books, "If you're going to keep talking I'll do work in my dorm,"

Standing up I went to walk away, but I tripped on the table leg and everything fell everywhere.

"Well fuck," I said, quickly scattering to shove all paged to do with Voldemort and the Order in a folder.

Remus knelt down to help, staring at the pages with confusion, "Riley, what is this…"

"Just leave it," I growled and he backed off, sitting down into his seat with a frown on his face and sad confused eyes.

Once I'd collected everything I rushed away, straight out of the common room feeling his eyes burning into my back.

I felt my cold fingers along the side of the mirror until I felt the tiny latch. Feeling it with my finger tip I pulled downwards, and the entrance clicked open

Slowly I crept inside; it smelled musty like old books in the dark. Feeling my way around, I dumped my books on the modest wooden table and pulled out my wand whispering "Incendio," as I taped the end on the candle wick it burst alight. The singular candle made all the shadows elongate.

Walking towards the stove I cast, "Aguamenti," and watched as a stream of water filled the old kettle. Lighting the stove, I left the kettle there to boil, getting a tin cup and teabag ready on the singular counter.

Sitting down at the table with a huff, I began shifting through my mess of lose-leaf parchment making two separate piles; homework and Order work.

It was tedious, yes, but we couldn't afford any mishaps like earlier with Remus. I sighed, feeling like a complete and utter bitch for snapping at him like that. I had no right. He'd done nothing wrong. I was angry at my own foolishness and I'd taken it out on him irrationally.

Everything was so stressful though, trying to keep up with what was happening. So much death, so much destruction and yet nobody knew. I better knowing I was safe at Hogwarts, but I still feared for my family; what if they were next? It seemed like Voldemort was targeting people at random. It was open season on muggle-borns and their family.

The only breaks I took were to take small sips of tea.

The only judge of time I had was the candle that sat beside me, burning slow and steady. When I was done with my homework and cataloguing the newest information from the Order, the candle had halved itself.

Standing up to stretch for the first time in a long while, I felt my back crack. Dumping my tea cup on the counter, too lazy to wash up I blew out the candle, and switched to wand light, murmuring "Lumos," as I cradled my school book in one arm.

Leaving through the mirror, I walked towards the grand double doors and left the Room of requirement behind.

"What are you doing in there?" A familiar voice asked.

"Bathroom," I told Sirius bluntly.

"You know the girl's bathroom is only a corridor down, right?" he told me with a note of suspicion in his voice.

"I was busting," I lied meekly, "Anyway, I've got to go," I started walking away, down the corridor away from him. I didn't need to be stressing over him on top of everything I was currently dealing with.

"Please, just let me talk… please," Sirius's voice broke as he called after me.

I turned on the spot, "What?"

"I just wanted to say thank you… I've been trying to remember it… at first I thought professor McGonagall was the one who helped me, but then I realised it'd been you… so, yeah, thank you for the help," he smiled sadly at me.

"That's nice," I replied bluntly, beginning to walk away again. I couldn't deal with this right now.

"I wasn't finished, Little Fox," he yelled, voice echoing down the hall.

I was quiet for a moment before softly asking, "How much do you exactly remember?"

He shrugged and smiled up at me, "Majority of it now, and although I was awfully drunk… I meant what I said,"

I laughed bitterly, folding my arms across my chest, "You're funny. Real funny. What about Arianna?"

His eyes turned sad and he looked to his shoes, "She… she broke up with me… right before the party last night,"

Opening my eyes in shock, I stared at him strangely, "What? Why?"

"It doesn't matter…" he closed his eyes.

I sneered in disgust, "So what's this? You get dumped and suddenly you show up at my door after months? I was shunned for months because I love you and now you're hearts been broken the way you broke mine and you want a rebound? Get fucked, Black!"

His eyes were wide, "Y-you love me?" Sirius stuttered.

My voice was low as I growled, "Yeah, pathetic isn't it?"

Then I stormed away, feeling sick inside, because I loved and will continue to love, a complete and utter asshole.

"You sure you'll be okay on your own?" Lily asked me as she dressed for the Slug Club dinner.

I nodded, "If I miss something in my notes, we always have the tape,"

"And you've read over the notes James and I took last Sunday?" she clarified.

Laughing at her pernickety nature I answered, "Twice, this afternoon when I catalogued the recording of the emergency meeting on Tuesday,"

"Well then I believe you're sorted. Can you do my zip up?" she asked, turning around and holding her fiery ringlets up in a tangle. I clasped the zip and brought it u smoothly; she was wearing an indigo dress that came to her knees, black cardigan, dark opaque tights and ballet flats with a silver locket hanging around her neck.

She turned to me, "You know, it's strange how much I used to despise you and now we're… friends,"

"Yeah, it really is quite weird," I laughed, "Lose a friend, gain another; funny how the world works," I smiled softly, mind turning back to Sirius again.

Lily sighed, "Don't tell me you've given up on Sirius…"

"What do you mean?" I questioned oddly.

"Well, you two were just so close. You finished each other's sentences and everything! It'd just be a right shame to waste that," she smiled at me warmly, "But I've got to go, and so do you if you want to get in their first,"

Walking down into the Common Room, we went our separate ways with a small wave. Creeping up the stair case I entered the boy's dorm. All four boys were fast asleep, but when I went to get the Invisibility Cloak from the bottom of James's chest as I usually did, it wasn't there. I searched for a few minutes but to no avail. Giving up I went to get the Marauders Map from Sirius's bedside instead.

Usually I would have glared at the boy, but I could hear him moaning slightly, eyes squinted shut as he suffered through the bad dream. Sirius looked so small, so scared right then.

I mentally corrected myself and pulled my eyes away, snatching up the map from his bedside table and left.

Double checking the map before I turned any hallway that there weren't any teachers. It took a while and by the end I was truly hoping I'd get there before the Order did.

Just as the entrance was materialising, I heard a noise behind me. Near terrified it was a teacher or worse, an Order member. I whipped around whispering harshly, "Who's there?"

At first I saw nothing but there had to be–

Sighing in realisation, I lowered my wand slightly, "Take off the Invisibility Cloak whoever you are,"

And indeed, somebody did. Remus did, "What the hell are you doing?" he asked while walking toward me to examine the door.

"What am I doing? What are you doing, Moony?" I said in shock.

"I just knew you were up to something!" he smiled gleefully.

I face palmed, "This is no time to get sloothy, Sherlock. You have to leave. Now."

"Who's She–" he began to say, but I covered his mouth with my palm. I could hear mumbled voices and shadows from around the corner.

"C'mon," I whispered and pulled him through the door, running towards the mirror, franticly feeling up the side until I found the tiny latch. I pulled him inside the smaller room and locked the mirror back in place just as Dumbledore and the other teachers entered.

"That was so close," I sighed in relief, watching as other members appeared in a burst of green flames in the fireplace, "Want some tea?" I offered.

Remus simply stared at me.

Sorry if this isn't up with my usual standard but I have an ear infection and was at the hospital last night so yeah, forgive me.

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