Thanks for all the reviews, guys!

I need to stop giving Riley horrible scars. It's getting ridiculous. And there are too many bed-side scenes in this story. I keep hurting everybody.

But anyway, here is the next update!

"Lady, running down to the riptide,

Taken away to the dark side,

I wanna be your left hand man.

I love you when you're singing that song and,

I got a lump in my throat 'cause,

You're gonna sing the words wrong."

–Vance Joy 'Riptide'

Chapter Forty-Four:

First I felt the ache and the tingling sting, all the way down my right arm, and then the emptiness in my stomach left from gnawing hunger. The throbbing in my head, like the beating of a drum. I was knackered even though I had only just awoken. It was as if I'd been trampled. Every molecule of me ached.

My eyes cracked open as my mind groggily began to register my surroundings, stinging at the sudden light. I was laying on the new addition of a wrought-iron bed into our usual secret meeting room.

"Afternoon," a voice spoke softly.

Blinking I saw Remus, reading a book at the table. He set it down on the blood-stained wood with a small smile, "I'm guessing you feel like crap?"

Walking to the tap, he poured me a glass of water and dragged a stool over to sit beside me. He handed me the glass.

I managed a smile, "How'd you guess?"

"Every time we woke you to change your bandages, you wouldn't stop complaining," he chuckled.

I cocked an eyebrow, "Really? I don't recall that,"

Moony shook his head, "I should expect so, you've been asleep for over twenty-four hours,"

I almost spat my drink, sitting up abruptly and feeling pain shoot up my arm, "What?!"

"Lay down, I'll explain it all," he spoke with a harshness in his tone of voice, "And then you'll explain how you ended up all shackled and bloody,"

Cringing at the memories that'd began trickling into my mind again, I sat back against the headboard, adjusting myself so it hurt the least amount possible.

"Sorry… it's just..." he bit his lip, a certain guilt sitting in his eyes.

"Just say it, spit it out," I sighed.

He frowned, gently dragging his fingertips over the bandages, "I did my best, but the deep ones… I couldn't help it… her knife must have been spelled… I really did try, Riley, I–"

"It's fine," I spoke briskly but understandingly, looking to my arm with a grimace, not wanting to see the words etched into my skin, "They… they thought I was a werewolf, because of my face. I guess I'm a 'halfbreed' anyway, being a metamorphmagus and all," I attempted to joke, but Remus growled, eyes hard and icy.

"We are not halfbreeds – don't ever say that!" he spoke with malice, not to me, but the perpetrator, even when he didn't know who they were.

I nodded, "Okay. Still, I want to know what happened – how am I here, last I remember was her carving…" I shivered.

"Who?"

I laughed bitterly, "Oh, get this. It did take me about an hour but I finally realised who she was. Her name is Bellatrix. Bellatrix Black, as in Andi's elder sister and Sirius's cousin…"

"Fuck, that is messed up on so many levels," another rougher voice spoke, and Remus and I turned to see James leaning in the doorway, "How're you fairing, Vixen?" he asked, a warm smile lighting up his face.

I smirked, "Better, thanks for saving my sorry ass,"

He shrugged, stepping inside, "Don't mention it,"

"Don't people wonder where I've been? I missed class today…" I trailed off in confusion.

"We covered you. We told the teachers you and Lily were feeling sick so you were in bed, really she was here with you. Only left an hour or so ago to catch up on homework," James explained and sighed in relief, knowing that everybody else was okay.

I continued, "And you found me how…?"

"Lil' and I followed Arthur Weasley and we got to the place where it was meant to be… but nobody was there. Somebody had been though, there was dark magic loitering the joint. Since Kingsley didn't show either for a long while, we had a look, but the place had been cleared out with incriminating evidence pretty well.

We heard them talking about it being a dead lead, and they were going to leave… but then an emergency owl came from Dumbledore and the Order, correcting the information, but telling them to go back since it was too dangerous and they could have been compromised. The poly juice potion had worn its way off by then as we headed back to the Cracked Pot Tavern, but you weren't there, so we waited and eventually realised that you weren't coming.

We guessed something bad had happened, but nothing could've prepared us for exactly… how bad it really was. I disapparated there, smack bang into the middle of a chess game between two dark wizards. Probably the stupidest thing I've ever done in my life to this day. It's safe to say they were shocked, which was good because otherwise we'd be dead, or tied up just next to you. We knocked them out. I tell you I was so scared I didn't know what spells were coming out of my mouth, then Lily heard screaming and… laughter, so we ran to the cellar and that bitch was… she was on you and there was blood absolutely everywhere! She didn't see me at first so I managed to hit her with a curse – I'm not sure which it was now – and then the man came running and Lily hit him with a brick right over the head and I grabbed you up and we Floo'd our way here.

Lily got Remus – who for some reason, now explained and understood, already knew almost everything… he healed up what he could and then you slept for a day," he finished the tale with a grimace, "I thought you were dead when I found you… the blood… you were covered in it… you still kinda are. Lily changed your shirt and got a lot cleaned up but… yeah – it was pretty bad,"

I was quiet for a while, "… You were the one who saved me… I… I thought…"

"You thought it was Sirius, didn't you," he stated bluntly.

Sighing, I shook my head, feeling like a complete idiot, "I didn't know what I was thinking… you two look alike… and I guess…"

Remus intervened, "Yeah, we get it. Don't worry… but, what else happened… it's not just the carving… what else did they do, Riley? You're injured everywhere,"

I snorted, "You don't have to tell me twice, I'm aching all over from that damn Cruciatus Curse! I swear if I find her I'll fucking rip her apart!"

The two boys looked at me, slightly shocked and definitely alarmed, "The Torture Curse?! She used it!" James spoke sounding distressed.

I could see them processing it in their eyes, "How did it feel?" Remus asked kindly after a few moments of silence.

"Like the split moment before you die extended over an eternity," I spoke softly, looking down at my lap, "I… I don't want to talk about it, okay?"

"Okay," James nodded in understanding, only he didn't understand. Nobody could understand that unless they felt it…

With a sigh, I began sliding out of the bed.

"Whoa, no you don't!" James said and I glared.

"I can walk, you dunce. I'll be fine, but I ain't staying in the bed any longer. I'm at least going to shower, for God's sake!" I snapped and he backed off.

Remus seemed get what I meant, given he'd spent enough time in hospital wings as he helped steady me when I got to my feet, "It's okay, I'm fine, I can do it,"

"So stubborn," James murmured under his breath and I shot him a sour look.

"Lily brought clothes down… she left them in the bathroom…" Remus looked at the new door to the back of the room. Come to think of it, the room was different from before. Bigger.

"Bathroom?" I questioned with a raised eyebrow.

"HQ has gone through some changes – many of them his idea. Room of Requirement seemed to agree," James cocked his head towards Remus, "We'll talk when you get out, and I'll go find Lily. We need to discuss all this,"

With slow, shaky movements I trudged across the room, refusing the boys help to walk until a wave of dizziness hit me and I felt myself clutching the table, doubled over. I could see the dark stained wood. Stained scarlet with my blood.

It seems the Room of requirement didn't wish for us to forget.

Eventually with a sigh James left the room, leaving Remus and I alone and at our wits end.

"I'm fine," I growled, feeling completely and utterly weak.

"You are far from fine," Remus held me steady, "C'mon, just let me help… like all those times you helped me," he smiled up at me – it was one of those hopeful smiles, one you couldn't refuse no matter how you tried. It was warm and thoughtful. I smiled back, a real smile – without any bitterness or contempt – for the first time since I woke.

"Okay," I whispered.

I sat on the bench in the bathroom, back facing the mirror, as Remus's delicate fingers unwrapped my bandages. I tried not to hiss at the pain, biting my tongue to keep myself at bay. Images of blood and screaming flashing behind my eyelids like a camera roll.

I pushed the thoughts from my mind.

Faintly tracing the foul word with my fingertips, I grimaced. The deeper wounds were bloody however clean Remus had tried to keep it, but thankfully the smaller cuts had healed into thin silver scars thanks to whatever potion they'd applied.

He helped me out of my outer layers of clothing until I was left with my plain dark shirt and shorts that I'd worn under the tattered bags of my disguise the night before. Remus was careful not to brush the fabrics over any severely hurt places, even sourcing a pair of scissors to cut away my sleeve.

Then, with a small smile and a nod, he left me to my own devices.

I turned the water on hot and waited for it to heat. I looked to the mirror for the first time, and wasn't entirely surprised. My skin was pasty and a sickly white, pulled tight over my bones with sunken dark brown eyes staring blankly back at me. I dragged a cracked fingernail down the scar that decorated my face and choked out a short, bitter laugh.

I didn't feel angry or sad – I guess I just felt empty. Like everything had been drained out of me. So weak as I gripped the sink to steady myself until my knuckles turned white. I wasn't exactly sure how long I stood there staring into my own dead eyes before I snapped out of the trance, but the air had grown misty from the running shower.

Awkwardly stripping out of my last layer of clothing with little ease and quite a few profanities whispered harshly under my breathe, I stepped under the scalding water, feeling my skin ignite and muscles contract, but then ease into it and relax. Still, I outwardly swore when the water ran down my body and worked its way into the gashes decorating my right arm.

Head hung, I watched grimly as blood and dirt pooled at my feet and slurped down the dark drain. I freed the mattered knots in my hair and washed away all the gunk that had become caked on my skin – the disgusting mixture of bloodily fluid and grit. Careful with the soap, not wishing anything else to enter the wounds – the water stang enough.

Still, I eventually stepped out of the shower, drying off with a warm towel and pulling on the warm flannelette pyjamas that'd been left by Lily. I didn't care if it was… actually I had no idea of the time aside from it was some point in the afternoon, so there was no reason for pyjamas not to be appropriate.

I trudged out of the bathroom feeling a great deal better than before and into the main room where James and Lily quietly bickered. She silenced herself as soon as she saw me.

"I guess they filled you in," I stated the fact that hung in the air.

The fiery-haired girl nodded, "Yes, I was just telling James here that we never should've attempted that–"

I stared quizzically at her asking, "What do you mean?"

She looked slightly shocked, "What do you mean? You were almost killed, you're arm… Riley, how can you say that?"

I shrugged, "Shit happens. We managed to identify like four of Voldemort's followers and throw them off the trail of the Order. I'd say it was an accomplishment,"

"Riley…" Remus stared.

I rolled my eyes, "What? Because I got hurt? I knew what I was walking into – we all did,"

Now all of them started at me and for a second I thought that I may have spontaneously grown another head (which to be quite frank, has happened before).

And then, she laughed, "You're impossible,"

And I found myself laughing too, and so did the boys. We laughed because we were so very in over our heads. We laughed because no matter what, we all knew we wouldn't stop.

Bloody Gryffindors.

Staring dully at my teacher, I could hear her words but somehow they refused to register in my mind.

So tired…

"Miss O'Conner are you quite all right?" Professor Ptolemy asked, referring to the star chart on the wall.

I snapped my head up, "Yuuup, I'm here,"

Used to kids falling asleep in her class, she sighed, "Try to remain awake, we have only another half an hour of class before you can all go to bed,"

There was a collective groan. Whose ever idea it was to have Astronomy lessons in the middle of the night was a complete and utter dullard.

Why I was tired, I didn't know. I'd slept for a day straight and had only been awake for around six hours since then, and here I was, almost dying on my desk. Stupid body with its stupid mortal healing time. Why can't I just heal in an hour like in video games or something?

Sighing, I began taking notes. I could feel James staring at me from behind and imagine the 'I told you so' I was going to receive afterwards.

I managed to get through to the end of the class with difficulty, trying not to wince at every slight touch of bump from the grumbling Slytherin I didn't know that well sitting beside me (I really need to start coming to class on time).

As I packed up my textbook and notes, I felt a tap on my shoulder to which I cringed. Turning around I saw Andromeda, smiling. She began speaking with a frown, but I didn't hear her. All I could hear was sick laugher and flashes – flashes of that face behind my eyelids. That smile, so cruel and malicious.

So like my friends.

"Are you okay?" a voice asked, that voice.

I started hyperventilating, clutching the edge of the table and squinting my eyes closed. It was as if my heart had stopped although it thumped loudly in my chest as fast as the beat of a humming birds wings, my entire body went numb and I felt myself stumbling. I couldn't breathe. I was dying.

"Get away from me!" I screamed so loud my throat was hoarse.

And I ran, I could barely see where I was going, but I ran. Down the corridors unknowing and uncaring of the eyes that stared and my friends who tried to chase after me.

"Get off me! Stay away! I don't have the information you want!" I yelled to the footsteps that followed mine and heard them cease eventually.

Stumbling, blind and unknowing to where I was – I fell.

And I didn't have the strength to get up again, so I lay there for a while in the dark, trying to find the high ceiling in the shadows. My breaths slowed and the ringing in my head dulled until all I could hear was the blood rushing in my ears from the sudden rise and drop of adrenalin.

"Riley…"

That voice, I knew that voice. The same voice my mind tricked me into thinking of the other night. Only this time it was real.

"Leave me alone. I need to be alone, Sirius," I sighed, but it sounded more like a desperate plea.

He didn't listen, which didn't surprise me in the slightest, and I felt my… friend… lay down beside me.

There was silence for a few moments.

"You want to tell me why you just burst into a full blown panic attack at the sight of Andi?" he asked calmly.

I choked a bitter laugh, "Nope,"

More silence, but this time it wasn't awkward. It was comforting and full and warm despite temperature of the brisk air.

"I miss you," he whispered.

"I miss you too," I whispered.

He turned his head to look me in the eye, "I just want you back, Little Fox,"

"I know, I do to, everything is just so complicated right now… I need a friend," I sighed, turning my head to the side to face him

Sirius smiled, but the darkness concealing his grey eyes that in the light would've shown the slightest tinged of disappointment, "Then I'll be a friend – a best friend,"

"Thank you,"

And we stayed that way, lying on the floor in the middle of a corridor. Talking about what we'd missed and watching as out breaths turned to mist.

And at some point, I felt our fingers entwine in one another's, and then for the first time in a very long while I felt completely and entirely calm.

So neither let go.

Wow. Fluffy.

REVIEWS ARE LOVE!