THIS STORY IS NOT COMPLETE!

(and I'm sorry about the late update it was difficult to write…)

I know some people believed it was all done and dusted given that the couple got together, so I'd like to case a small reminder that (epically) fan-dubbed Siriley romance is a sub-plot and this story's main plot is the creation of the Order of the Phoenix and so on which isn't finished.

Let's face it; I haven't broken your hearts enough yet.

(HELLO EMILY!)

"You're in my mind all of the time,

I know that's not enough,

Well if the sky can crack there must be some way back,

To love and only love,"

–U2 'Electrical Storm'

Chapter Forty-Eight:

I'm not exactly sure how much time past before we broke apart. It seemed months of frustration had unleashed themselves through the art of kissing in that one late afternoon. It was enough to dull my mind – he was enough. He was more than enough, he felt like everything in that second, either that or nothing else seemed to be real. Maybe it was both. It felt like I'd been lit up inside like a wildfire, his lips burning against mine. Not secret like the first time or angry like the second – this passionate mesh of teeth and tongue simply burned.

And then shocking reality hit me suddenly like cold water waking breaking me from a pleasant dream.

I pulled away, not with force but a different deeper sense of urgency, resting my forehead against his and pulling up my hands to rest on his chest like a barrier. Pressing my eyelids tightly together so I didn't have to look into his cool questioning grey irises.

"Sirius… we can't…" I began to speak but the words caught up in my throat.

Suddenly his eyes turned cold and he jumped away from me as if I were poison, "Bullshit. That is complete and utter bullshit. I don't know what crazy notion is in your head but I really don't care right now. I need you."

My voice was weak, "The war…"

"Fuck the war. Fuck it all. I do not give a shit about any of it compared to how much I literally cannot have you do this again." Sirius' voice broke.

"If you get hurt, it is all on me. If any of you get hurt, it is all on me. I dragged every single one of you into this and I didn't even think about it. It. Will. Be. My. Fault." I spoke with a tone like iron.

He laughed bitterly and I flinched at the sound, "You can't always protect me, Riley. You know you can't. You've known that since before you knew me, when a beat up puppy would drag itself to that goddamn tree. This was won't hurt as much as when I go back to my bastard of a father and bitch of a mother at the end of the year and I show up black and blue at your doorstep so you can wordlessly stich me up again like you have since we were eleven. I used to believe nothing can hurt me more than I already have been but now I know I'm wrong. If you walk away right now… I'm done. I'm just done. I don't have much left in me Riley… I just don't… so please don't turn your back again… I can't take that..."

I open my mouth but no sound came out. It was just one of those silent truths. Everybody knew what happened in the Black household. It wasn't some secret. But nobody ever said a word – not even Sirius, not even me. Not in all the times he's ran away, not in all the times he's dragged back through that dark door opposite mine. I used to ask and demand answers, but eventually I learnt not to ask about the bruise of what exactly I needed to heal this time, because whenever a question come to my lips I would see the broken look in his eyes and I wouldn't be able to.

"It shows a good heart to try and fix a person, but sometimes the brave route is to pretend you never saw their tears," was the last thing my Oma ever said to me, and all these years I'd thought that's what he wanted.

I was wrong.

And as I wiped the tear off his cheek, I pulled the broken boy into a tight hug, murmuring into his shoulder, "I'm not going anywhere,"

For once Sirius Black said nothing.

I knew I couldn't fix him in the same way he can't fix me… but in a sad and strange way it was enough just to be broken together.

"Oi, be careful!" I yelled as Frank smashed the bludger unknowingly in my direction, although safely keeping it from hitting Marlene who rabidly chased the practise snitch.

"Sorry!" he called back distractedly.

I grinned, feeling the surge of power that flying always gave me, the feeling of endless freedom. Soaring higher in the sky to where James called the shots as the rest of the team ran drills, I saluted, "O captain, my captain, how's it fairing?"

He started at me quizzically, "I'm going to put that with the pile of other muggle things you drop on me on purpose in an attempt to make me feel inferior. Which of course could never happen. I'm flawless."

I snorted a laugh, "God you sound like Padfoot,"

"He is my brother. We are equally arrogant," James' hazel eyes sparked behind his thick framed glasses.

Laughing, I retorted, "No, I still believe the git surpasses you in that area,"

"Please, I surpass Prongsie in every area," a cool voice that could only be Sirius sounded as he suddenly appeared.

James smirked, looking smug, "Bitch please, who here is Captain? Get back down there you mangy dog."

Sirius' eyes gleamed with their regular mixture of genius and insanity, "All right, it's on. All three of us, vertical dive to the ground. First to pull up is a coward and has to,"

"Did you say three? Why am I being included in your trivial competitions?" I feigned superiority, knowing full well I would sooner join Voldemort then back down from a challenge.

Still, Sirius sighed as if it was obvious, "Because, you're my beautiful girlfriend and you love me,"

Then he pulled me with clashing brooms into a deep kiss – and then before James or I could snap out of the shock, quickly yelled, "Three-two-one-go," and launched into the dive.

Despite the gobsmacked expression of his face, James followed suit, and myself with them both.

Wind whistled in my ears and I barely heard a scream of, "You fucking git!" as James passed Sirius with laughter broken only by the sound of my stomach leaping into my throat as I fell at an alarming speed. The three of us fell into a string as the ground approached like a wall ready for us to splatter against. Sparing small glances at the two on either side of me who didn't seem ready to let up yet, I let out a shout of exhilarated joy. The sunset warmed my skin as it bore down upon my neck and for a moment I forgot that I needed to breathe.

It was at the very last moment that the three of us pulled up, the movement too sharp and too desperate for any to see who had won as we tumbled through the dirt, scraping our knees and elbows on the harsh unforgiving ground.

Letting out a wheezy couch as the dust swirled around my, I groaned, staring up at the sky alight with smooth blues and purples and oranges, the crescent moon just visible as the sun slowly sank.

"Hey Riley, you dead?" James asked warily.

"Nah," I replied, unable to take my eyes off the sky with the ringing in my ears.

"I'm not either Jamsie, but thanks for asking though," Sirius croaked, scraping himself up.

"You're welcome,"

None of us moved from our positions, muscles aching and skin stinging with the dirt and gravel imbedded in the petty wounds. We remained blissfully silent, watching the others continue practising (they'd gotten used to us puling this sort of shit), until James broke it with an exasperated sigh, "So you two, huh?"

I smiled feeling so warm in that moment, such genuine happiness inside me.

"Yeah."

I know it was short but I believe you all deserve something happy instead of heartbreaking to end on for once, especially after how long I kept you waiting!

Anyway, exams are past and summer holidays are fast approaching, so get ready to hear from me more often!

I WILL NOT ABANDON THIS STORY!