The Doctor opened his eyes slowly. His head was pounding as he laid in the red grass. Above him, the twin suns shone down making the trees in the distance blaze as if they were on fire. It was still early morning and a cool breeze swept over him. He rubbed his eyes, looking expectantly towards a home that was no longer there. Any minute now, his mother would open the door calling him in for breakfast. He could almost smell the freshly cooked bread and taste the bitter coffee that grew on Gallifrey. He stood up stumbling his way towards the house eager to see her once more. It didn't matter how long he walked or how far he ran, the house remained in the distance just out of his reach.

He collapsed to his knees, tears streaming freely down his face as his memories came crashing back. This small garden was all that he had left of the planet he had grown up on. The home that he longed to walk to was gone along with the rest of what he loved and hated about that planet. His mother was waiting for him somewhere, but he would never see her again at least not in this life. He had never believed in an afterlife when he was younger. If he was honest with himself he still didn't. Still he had to hope that one day he would be able to hold her and his children once more. To apologize and beg their forgiveness for what he had to do to save the universe.

Pulling himself to his feet he walked slowly towards the kitchen. The TARDIS hummed at him angrily. It had been awhile since the last time that she talked to him and that he could feel her in his head. He missed her but knew that she was angry at him for some reason. He just needed to give her time and she would come around. Getting to the kitchen, he picked up the small bag next to the sugar. The bag was almost empty, though, he didn't remember opening it. Pulling the drawer underneath open, he found several more empty bags. Desperate he dug through them finally finding one that had the powder in it. He pulled it out, sliding it into his trouser pocket in order to keep it safe. He was going to have to venture off the TARDIS soon to retrieve more, but not quite yet.

Picking up the almost empty bag, he poured it into a glass and then added water. He stirred it allowing the powder to dissolve before drinking the bitter liquid. He wasn't sure when he had stopped mixing it with tea, he just didn't care enough to make the tea anymore. If he was honest with himself he didn't care about much anymore. He couldn't remember the last time he showered, shaved or cared about his appearence. His clothes were filthy, and his shirt tattered, yet he continued to wear them. His belt had reached its final hole, but it still wasn't enough to keep his trousers up. He tried for a moment to remember the last time he ate. Not that he was hungry. The drug was all that he needed to sustain himself. He refused to believe he was addicted to the drug, though. He could stop taking it anytime he wanted to.

The drug was beginning to cloud his mind again. Telling him that everything was alright. In the distance, he could hear his mother calling to him. Breakfast was ready.

-DW-

The Doctor woke up with a start. Terror filled him as he looked around the dark room, not knowing where he was. He pulled on his arms and legs finding them restrained to the bed that he was laying on. He tried not to cry out as he could hear someone else breathing nearby. His body was hurting him including his arse and he remembered someone holding him down as they took advantage of his weakened state. Had they then tied him up so they could use his body again as they pleased. He pulled on his arm harder, letting out a soft whimper as he did.

"Doctor," Jack's voice spoke up from the darkness.

"Jack, help me," The Doctor whimpered as he pulled harder. Footsteps echoed in the small room before the light flicked on. He squinted his eyes against the harsh light as the footsteps came closer to his bed. As his eyes adjusted he could see that he was in a hospital room. His memory still felt cloudy, but he remembered that it was Martha and Jack who had restrained him to this bed. They were bound and determined to see him detox from the drug even, though, he didn't want to.

"What's the matter Doc?" Jack questioned as he loomed over him with a concerned look on his face. The Doctor glared at him, then turned to face the wall. Jack studied the ailing Doctor. He was extremely pale and his trembling was worse despite the blankets that covered his cool body. Both IV's were still in place and the monitors showed that his vitals were still off but holding steady. There was nothing to indicate what was wrong with him, so Jack concluded it had more than likely been a nightmare that caused him to cry out in fear. The Doctor was prone to them and going through withdraw would make them worse for awhile.

"Since you are awake do you want a cup of tea?" Jack asked him as the Doctor's eyes remained open.

"No."

"Then how about a nice banana milkshake," Jack offered.

"No," the Doctor replied again, this time with a little bit of a snip to his voice.

"You should probably drink something. If you don't want a flavored drink how about a nice cool glass of water?" Jack suggested. The Doctor rolled his eyes up to look at Jack.

"I don't want or need anything from you except for you to loosen the straps and let me the hell go," The Doctor seethed at him. Jack nodded his understanding.

"A hot cup of tea it is," Jack responded ignoring the Doctor's anger. He left the Doctor alone for a moment to make the tea in the small kitchen across the hall. It was the first time that the Doctor had been alone since he had arrived the day before and Jack wasn't sure what he would do. He made the Doctor a strong cup of tea, placing a straw in it so the Doctor could drink it without having to sit up. He then made himself a cup of coffee before he returned to the room. The Doctor was still laying in the same exact position that Jack had left him, as he stared at the wall. Jack brought the tea around to the Doctor, offering it to him.

"Thank you," The Doctor whispered as he latched on taking a drink. He no longer sounded angry, but once again he sounded defeated about his situation. He sipped the tea slowly as he stared at Jack.

"What is it?" Jack wondered softly as he lowered his coffee cup. The Doctor just continued to stare at him as his eyes rolled back and his body went tense. Jack leaned over the Doctor as he immediately released the Doctor's arms and legs from the bed. He hit the call button as the Doctor's body began to jerk and twist in a seizure.

"How long?" Adam asked as he rushed in.

"Tonic for less than a minute and the clonic stage is going on thirty seconds now," Jack responded as he timed it.

"Get Martha," Adam ordered as he put the sides up on the bed to keep the Doctor from falling off. Jack didn't hesitate as he ran across the hall, pounding on the door to Martha's office.

"Martha," he called out as he continued to knock. She answered the door quickly, still trying to wake up from her interrupted sleep.

"He's seizing," Jack explained as he rushed back to the Doctor's room. Martha went running after him. The Doctor was still writing on the bed as Adam stood watch.

"We're going on two minutes now," Adam stated as Martha came.

"It's time to stop this silliness," Martha informed the Doctor as she looked at the monitors. Almost as if he had heard her, his body stopped moving. Adam rolled him quickly but carefully into the recovery position. They didn't have to wait for him to start breathing again, as the Doctor took a short breath, followed by another. He then coughed, tea running down his face and onto the bed. He gasped for breathing coughing again as more tea came up. Adam held him on his side as he tried to breathe.

"You're alright," Martha cooed as he gagged on a cry. He opened his eyes looking at Martha miserably as he trembled. Feeling helpless, Jack grabbed a towel handing it down to Martha.

"Martha, please. I can't do it," The Doctor whimpered, his voice barely audible due to the harshness of it. Martha used the clean cloth to wipe his mouth for him as she laid one hand on his shoulder.

"I know it is hard Doctor, but we aren't going to give up. Not yet. Do you understand me?" Martha informed him sternly. The Doctor answer wasn't audible as he sobbed. Jack sat down on the end of the bed, taking over holding the Doctor on his side for Adam. The Doctor didn't care who was holding him, though, as the trembling made it hard for him to hold himself up. Matha checked his vitals, making sure he was done getting sick before having Jack roll him back. He cried harder, fighting to remain on his side as he was forced onto his back.

"Can't we just let him lay on his side awhile?" Jack asked on the Doctor's behalf. As he began to gag once more.

"We are restraining him not only for his safety but for the safety of the staff," Martha explained as she picked up the restraint.

"He is too weak at the moment to get away. He doesn't even have the strength to fight me off," Jack told her as he felt the Doctor struggling to get away. Martha considered it for a moment. She could see the fear and pain in the Doctor's eyes as he fought against Jack holding him down to the bed. He was fighting hard, but Jack might as well be holding a doll for all the good the Doctor's fighting was doing.

"Let him up," She sighed. Jack looked at her thankfully as he helped the Doctor onto his side again. The Doctor curled into himself sobbing harder. Jack leaned down, wrapping his arms around the trembling man, holding him tight. Almost instinctively the Doctor leaned closer to Jack's warm body as he curled up tighter. Jack rubbed his arm cooing softly at him.

"You're alright. I know your tired and afraid, but you're safe. It's all right if you just want to sleep now. I will be here when you wake," He reassured the Doctor. The Doctor whimpered as his eyes drifted closed. He couldn't fight off sleep any longer, though, and soon was asleep safe in the warmth of Jack's arms.

"I'm going to go get a cup of coffee and cleaned up and then I will be back to check on him," Martha informed Jack. Jack nodded.

"I'll be here," he replied dropping a kiss on the Doctor's head. Leaning over the Doctor wasn't comfortable, though, so he laid down on the bed behind the Doctor pulling him close to him. He knew by doing so, he was crossing an unspoken line between the two of them. He just hoped the Doctor would forgive him for it.