A/N: I'm so sorry it took me so long to get this chapter up! Ever notice how everything crazy always happens all at once? Yeah… It's been a rough few weeks for me. Please forgive me!
Disclaimer: I do not own Fairy Tail. Trigger Warning.
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I scrubbed between my legs, trying to burn my skin away. I rubbed the rough loofa against my skin until there were tears in my eyes and pain was shooting down to my toes. I could not get the sensation of my attacker's touch off. His smell burned into my nasal cavity.
Water cascaded over my body as I stood motionless in the stream. I sobbed into the crook of my arm, shaking violently until I stumbled out of the shower, throwing myself in front of the toilet. I vomited the contents of my stomach and the residual bile into the bowl. I wiped my mouth with the back of my hand and pressed my head against the cool porcelain, trembling from both my emotional state and the chill in the air as it attacked my soaked skin.
A loud knock at the door startled me. I threw my arms over my chest as I hiccupped my answer, "Yeah, what?"
"Luc'" Natsu's voice called over the shower. "Are you alright?"
I blinked my heavy eyes and cleared my throat. I contemplated my answer and began to utter the phrase, "Yeah I'm fine," but changed my mind at the last moment. I did not want to lie to my best friend anymore. It was absolutely obvious that I was not fine. "No," I sobbed loudly.
The door handle jiggled as Natsu went to open the door. I inhaled sharply, glad I'd locked the door before I had gotten undressed. "Luc', can I come in?"
"NO!" I shrieked, gripping my naked body tighter in my arms. "Natsu, I'm not dressed!" I yelled, my face lighting up with a ruby blush.
I heard the dragon slayer stumble backward from the door and regain his composure. "Oi', sorry Luc'. I just… You're not okay." His fist lightly hit the door in frustration as his forehead leaned against the wood.
Nervously I stood and wrapped a towel tightly around my torso, leaving my hair dripping down my back. I turned the water off and cautiously unlocked the door. Natsu opened the door uncharacteristically calm and I greeted him with my tear stained face. Very unfeminine, I sniffled snot back up into my nose.
My best friend took in my shame, his black eyes weighing heavily on me. The pain etched into his features made me look down at the door, my hands balled into fists. "I'm so sorry," I whispered. A tear drop escaped my eye and crashed onto the linoleum floor. The fog from the shower hung lazily around the room.
"Lucy!" Natsu said with one release of his breath, pulling my body into his arms. He cradled me against his warm chest. I buried my face into him, breathing him in and listening to the soothing rhythm of his heart beat. His strong fingers stroked through my wet hair, gently detangling it.
He slowly and carefully pulled me to the ground, using the wall to support his back as I laid against him. I unloaded my tears, all my pain and confusion, into his white shirt. He stroked my hair and teased his fingers up and down my spine as I cried. He didn't care that I was drenching his clothing and covering him in the slime from my unfinished bath.
Repeatedly I blubbered that I was sorry, my voice muffled into his pectorals. He just comforted me in silence. By the time my tears had dried up all the fog in the bathroom had dissipated and my long blonde hair had dried into a messy frizzled mop. "Thank you, Natsu," I whispered, pulling away from him and wiping my eyes.
"Are you okay?"
"Mm, I will be!" I said confidently and at that moment I knew it was true. I would be okay even if I never healed from this. With Salamander by my side I could accomplish anything of that I was sure. He didn't release me from his hold as his onyx eyes darted back and forth, devouring every ounce of my fractured soul. My cheeks tinted to the same color of his hair and I smiled in embarrassment before wrapping my arms around his neck and embracing him in a comfortable hug.
It was his time to blush as I pulled away from him and stood. "I need to finish my shower."
"O-okay," he said, reaching his arm behind his neck. He pulled himself to his feet and disappeared out of the room. I closed the door and locked it once more. When I was back under the stream of water I let my mind wander. How long is this emotional roller coaster going to last? I thought bitterly, squeezing shampoo into my hair and working it into a lather.
Once fully satisfied with my hygiene I got out of the shower and dried my hair. After a few minutes of contemplation, looking myself over in the mirror I decided that I wanted to try something new. I retrieved Cancer's key and raised it into the air. "Open gate of the crab!"
With a poof the celestial spirit materialized in front of me. "Yo, yo, ebi," he said, clicking his scissors together.
The minutes ticked away as he styled my hair, keeping me turned away from the mirror until he was finished. I tried to cheat and look at my reflection in his glasses but he always tilted his head at just the right angle to make sure I couldn't see. The celestial spirit made small talk as the snipped away. Tendrils of brilliant blonde hair rained to the floor. White tiles stained with gold.
"I can always grow it back, ebi," Cancer reassured me, feeling my erratic heart beat throb on my neck.
I took a deep breath to steady my nerves. "Mm, yeah. Okay, let me see."
Cancer spun me delicately around until I was facing the busty blonde in the mirror. My breath hitched. His talented claws had sculpted my hair into something foreign. Styled into a short, choppy mess my hair framed my face to give me an edge I certainly didn't feel I had. Somehow my eyes seemed deeper, a more earthy brown. To add to my new look, the celestial spirit had tied a long, silken scarf around my head, acting as a hair band to keep my bangs from invading my eyes. It was in my favorite shade of blue, icy and intense just like a clear sky. Silver stars were woven into the cloth, an ode to my magical attunement.
"Different, ebi."
I smiled toothily at my reflection. "It's perfect, thank you!" I cried excitedly before closing the gate of the crab.
I added the finishing touches to my look, smearing light makeup over my face. With a strong resolve, I opened the door to find Natsu Dragneel, lazing boredly on the couch. The male was laying on his side, propping his head up with a fist as he casually flicked through the book he was reading. With every page flip he licked the pads of his index finger. What an odd sight, to see Natsu reading a book. I let my feet glide across the floor, inching closer to inspect what it was that had he engrossed. How strange, it appeared as if it wasn't typed but written by hand. It took a couple seconds for me to connect the dots. The leather binding was a very familiar purple. My face fell. With dismay, I let out a shriek and dived towards him.
My diary!
I collided into the dragon slayer with a fantastic oomph. The crown of my head rammed into his nose, instantly watering both our eyes. I scrambled to free my journal away from his grubby fingers. The pounding of my heart raised into my throat as I cradled the book close to my chest. Natsu was busy cursing, holding his nose as tears leaked down his cheeks. "Mavis! Wha' the heck Luc'?" he grumbled.
"You can't just go through my journal!" I screeched back at him.
Deep stormy eyes gazed up at me, crisp and clear in their obsidian stare. A surge of guilt struck through me as I held onto the book. Shamefully, I bent my head. A soft tug on the diary grabbed my attention. "Lucy," Natsu whispered and his tone sounded pained. His chest rose and fell steadily, even though I was still perched on his abs from where I'd tackled him. Nervously I glanced down at my pink-haired companion. Onyx orbs pierced me down to my core and I felt my flesh flush. Slowly a tanned arm lifted and his fingers brushed unkempt strands of blonde hair back from my face. "Lucy, you look gorgeous," his voice barely hit my ears but the smile he gave me lit my world.
"You like it?" I asked stupidly, toying with the scarf between nervous fingers.
"Definitely! Though, you're always pretty." He shifted so he was sitting up and without any effort he lifted me off of him and to my own cushion on the couch. Such an offhanded compliment, almost as if he hadn't meant to praise me at all. Natsu had called me pretty so easily. Stated like a fact rather than an opinion. It made my confidence grow, if only slightly. For the first time in the last week, I felt good about myself. "Where's your head at?" he inquired, suddenly concerned.
"Nowhere. It's just… That was very sweet of you to say." I flashed him a ginormous smile.
He cocked an eyebrow and laughed. "I didn't say it to be sweet. You're a gorgeous woman, Lucy. Everyone in all of Fiore, no all of Earthland—and Edolas—can see that. Even the celestial spirits agree." I blushed heavier at his words, the goofy grin couldn't fall off my face. "Anyway," Natsu continued as if he hadn't just made my heart ache, "do you feel up to going to the guild hall? I'd love to show you off."
I contemplated a moment. "Mm, yeah! Sure. As long as," I bit my lip, "please promise not to leave my side. I don't… I can't handle being alone. I need you next to me."
"Of course," he said without questioning my motives. He leapt from the couch and extended his hand to me. "Let's go!"
I laughed freely as we sprinted from my apartment, hand in hand.
The sound of the guild hall crashed into my ears. People were laughing, talking, and the sound of cutlery banging on the wooden tabletops: music. Mirajane stood behind the bar, drying a stein as she chortled flamboyantly with her siblings. Elfman had his arm draped protectively around Evergreen. Lisanna giggled into her coffee mug, her blue eyes shimmering. Gildarts, Cana, and Makarov clustered together a few feet away from the trio. The brunette was reading her cards in between guzzling ale.
Freid and Laxus sat away from everyone, in a corner table to themselves. I couldn't help but smile as I noticed the two holding onto each other's hands underneath the board. They appeared to be in a heated conversation, lightning positively crackling around Laxus' head. No doubt Freid was lecturing on Laxus on being more careful, pleading to let him enchant him with protection spells even though it'd been a few weeks since Laxus had even attempted to do a mission solo without the Thunder Legion.
Levy sat curled into Gajeel's lap, her reading glasses on though her book forgotten as she spoke to Gray and Juvia who occupied the table with them. The iron dragon slayer rolled his eyes and tilted his head back, grumbling something in a whisper to Pantherlily which caused Levy to scowl and push against his hard chest. The two blue-haired mages certainly adored their respective men, Juvia absentmindedly stroking Gray's arm, deep in conversation.
The red haired requip mage, Erza Scarlet, sat by herself with a slice of strawberry cake. She was staring at her food, frowning. I noticed that her call card (Cana had made one for both her and Jellal) propped against her cup, dark. My heart ached for her. Her love for Jellal had only grown as the years had gone by. But he was still focused on destroying dark guilds, insisting that he didn't deserve a life of happiness with Erza. Wendy Marvel sauntered over to Erza and sat beside the weapon smith, instantly brightening her mood and causing her to forget about the card she'd been anxiously waiting on. Wendy had grown into a stunning woman. Her chest had never quite filled out but she was stunning nonetheless. Her face was angular like a model, his blue hair long and silky. Her eyes were wide and bright and her smile was a small, spectacular line that always brought joy with it.
Everything seemed like business as usual but I still felt my heart rising into my throat. I stumbled through the door, nervous. Natsu was there to catch me, help me regain my balance. Always my rock. The constant in my life.
Mira was the first to notice us enter. She extended her slender arm in a polite wave. "Hey Lucy! Hi Natsu!" she called to us with her signature grin.
I smiled and waved back. Natsu excitedly shouted, "Mira! Whip me up some grub, I'm starved!" I rolled my eyes, exasperated. The dragon slayer could eat tirelessly and never feel content. "Where do you want to sit Lucy?" he asked in a whisper, turning to look into my face. He didn't leave my side, just as he'd promised.
My gaze shifted nervously across the hall. "Um, how about over there?" I pointed to the table against a column where Levy was talking excitedly with Juvia, her tome in a forgotten heap. Natsu smirked knowingly at me. With his hand braced against the small of my back, the pink haired male guided me over to them.
"Lu!" Levy exclaimed as I sat opposite her, Natsu sitting between me and Gray.
"Hey Lucy," Gray said.
Gajeel simply grunted and nodded in acknowledgement to our presence. And Juvia waved warmly. "Juvia is glad to see you're feeling better."
"Mm, yeah. I'm getting there," I replied.
I let the conversation melt around me. The murmur suffocating all my senses as I cleared my mind and let my vision blur. I wrung my hands together anxiously under the table, chewing absently at my lip. Natsu felt my unease and subtly gave my knee a reassuring squeeze. I barely noticed Mira trot over with his lunch. My attention was elsewhere.
Rancid odor invading my nostrils. Hot, sticky breath licking across the nape of my neck. Every single inch of my body that he touched seared my flesh, burning with complete and utter agony. His green hair tickled my chin a sensation that felt absolutely wrong. Tears slid silently from my eyes, staining my makeup streaked face. The blocked out the sound of his voice, hissing insults into my ear, telling me that this was what I wanted all along. His rough hands fondled my breasts against the crimson fabric, squeezing hard enough that I was sure they'd explode. Nothing compared to the pain that came next. He plunged into my sacred area, ripping me apart.
"Lucy!" Natsu hissed into my ear, startling me from my daydream. "Your heart sounds like it's about to leave your chest, are you okay?"
My eyes watered, my skin crawled. I trembled violently at the nasty memory. "No. I'm not okay. Natsu, let's leave."
He didn't hesitate. Instantly the pink haired dragon slayer stood from the bench and pulled me up with him. "Lucy isn't feeling well, I'm taking her home." Without waiting for a response, he swept me out of the guild hall. Even his food remained unfinished, my best friend's concern for me greater than anything else.
Wind swirled through my short hair as we left. I gulped down huge breaths, calming my nerves. We walked back to my apartment in silence, Natsu never straying from my side. At the door, I hesitated. "Natsu?" I whispered, out of breath.
"Yeah Luc'?"
"I'm not ready to go inside. Can we go sit outside somewhere?"
"Of course. Want to go to the park?"
I nodded.
The park was blissfully silent. Gently, the dragon slayer led me to a huge Rainbow Sakura tree. It felt like eons ago that Natsu and Happy had uprooted this exact tree and shipped it down the canal when I was sick and stuck in bed so that I could experience it in bloom for the first time. Since then, the tree had flourished after he'd replanted it. Now it stood as the most glorious tree in all of Magnolia and even had a placard set in stone near it commemorating Natsu's brazen act. We sat side by side, leaning against the bark.
With my eyes turned upwards at the azure sky, I made up my mind to tell Natsu. I argued and debated with myself the entire walk here. I needed someone I could talk to. I wanted someone other than my spirits who I could confide in about my rape. A deep sigh escaped my lips and he turned his eyes in my direction. "Natsu," I breathed. "I need to tell you something."
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A/N: Cliffhanger! Sorry. Couldn't resist.