Deliquesce
Chapter 18: Ember
Rated: T
Warnings: None
Song: "Lovely Day" Alt J
A/N: Hey.
The world was muted and still. Calm but cold. The snow fell steadily and silently, and I could feel the beginnings of a snowstorm in the air as we walked up the steps and back into the factory.
I went up to my room and turned the shower on. Goosebumps rippled across my skin as I undressed, dumping the many layers of clothing in the hamper. I looked in the mirror.
My face and hands, the only parts of me exposed, were covered in blood and dirt. An unattractive sight, but one of accomplishment. I touched my face, came up close. It looked strange. Different, but the same. I looked at every feature, tried to decipher what was different about it. My mouth was the same, my nose. My cheeks were the same, save for an insignificant scar I'd picked up on my travels. My eyes were different. Unfamiliar. I didn't look at myself in the mirror a whole lot. I didn't see the point. But there was something unmistakably unrecognizable in those eyes that stared back at me.
I was an ember. A small piece of burning wood in a dying fire. A small little ghost of who I used to be. Maybe.
Or maybe a small little burning bit of something in a dying world. A little bit of hope. Every one of us here, we were the last of a moribund civilization. But we had hope. Once we secured the city, we'd catch on and burn brightly.
Was I less of a person since it happened? Or more?
Did killing and running and hiding and surviving make me more or less? I wasn't sure. The only thing I was sure of was that I had changed, as did everyone. I wondered if anyone looked in the mirror these days and saw the same person they'd seen their whole lives. Doubtful.
It might have been selfish and ignorant the change, but I couldn't help but feel more alive than ever.
The world works in strange ways.
I showered and changed, met the others in the common room. Jackson was cooking, Briley and Breanne were chatting with Hunter. Valeriya was reading. Spencer was probably drinking in his room. Wonka was there, with Calvin and Brandon. He didn't see me. They were by the window, and Brandon was pointing to something outside. Maybe the snow, it was falling noticeably heavier now.
"Where's Daniel?" I asked Jackson.
"In his room, he won't come out." He answered.
"Oh, is he okay?"
"Still sick, I think. Haven't heard much from him."
"I think I'll go check on him." I went over to Daniel's door and knocked. There was no answer. I knocked again.
"Hey, Daniel? You alive in there?" I turned the knob, but it was locked.
"What do you want?" I heard him call after a while.
"I'm just checking to see if you're okay."
There was another moment of silence, before the door abruptly opened and he pulled me inside. His bed was made, paper spread all over it and on the floor. He paced around the room, a cigarette burning in his hand.
"What's this?" I asked, looking at the pages.
"Listen. The rest of the group doesn't trust me. It's fucking insane that I should feel more inclined to tell you than them, but here we are."
"What is it?" I was frowning.
"I was right. All along, I was right. I never trusted that guy." He shook his head, taking a drag. He paced faster now. My mind was racing, and I walked over to the bed.
I picked up one of the pages. Something something something. I couldn't concentrate enough, but the words 'contaminated', 'epidemic' and 'my fault' stood out. The first two words, too common in a newspaper. But these were the same pages I'd written the notes for Wonka's experiments on. The third, I didn't understand.
"What the hell is this? Where did you get these from?"
"I noticed blood on his sleeve a few days ago. He doesn't go outside. Why was is there? I was just curious, that's all. So I stayed back when everyone went out and looked around. I didn't know what I was looking for, I didn't expect it to be this."
"I don't understand." Seems like that was the only thing I could do. I think I knew at the point, I just didn't want to acknowledge it. He stopped pacing suddenly and looked at me with his wide eyes. My heart hurt. I felt sick.
"Ember, Wonka is the reason for the outbreak. His notes say something about Oompa Loompas, his workers from some weird place. The disease came from there, one of the workers had it. The chocolate was contaminated, and that batch was sent out to South America. It didn't start from South America, it started right where we're standing."
I didn't reply. I couldn't. My mouth was dry.
"We have to tell the group. I have proof. We need to leave tonight. I don't think I can live anywhere near the person responsible for killing my family."
Oh god, I felt sick. My stomach was churning and my limbs were numb.
"I- I don't think we should. Once we get the whole city se-"
"We're leaving, and we're going far away. I can't be here."
He put out the cigarette on the makeshift ashtray that was a plate, walking off suddenly. I stared at the plate, watching the smoke drift up, watching the little embers glow and die out.