The Doctor woke up curled beneath a weird smelling blanket. He groaned pulling the blanket down from over his face. He sat up quickly in the bed, the blanket falling to reveal his bare chest. He looked around the strange room, terror filling him as he realized he didn't know where he was. He threw back the blankets finding that he was naked beneath them. He looked around quickly for his suit and found it laying on a chair nearby. He stood up intending to head over to it. An unfamiliar pain ached in his backside and he paused trying desperately to remember how he came to be in the room. The last thing he remembered was being aboard the TARDIS. He had opened the drawer in the kitchen to find that he was low on his drug. He remembered making himself a cup of tea, lacing it with the familiar bitterness than nothing.

Turning to look at the bedside table, he noticed two small bags of the white powder with blue crystals. His mind raced as he tried to figure out how he acquired them. Taking a deep breath, he ran his hand down to his bottom gagging when he found it was sticky and wet. He wiped his hand quickly on the bed not looking at it. He didn't want to think of the reason why. He was a Time Lord, he wouldn't do something like let someone use his body in exchange for drugs. He was better than that. Grabbing his clothes he dressed quickly, just wanting to get out of where ever the hell he was. He didn't think about it as he picked up the two small bags off of the bedside table then rushed out of the room. Once in the hall, he was surprised to find that he was in a small hotel. He hurried as quickly as he dared down the hallway past the front desk clerk. He didn't dare stop to ask if he had come to the hotel alone. He didn't want to hear the answer. He ignored the strange ache as he pulled out his sonic scanning for the TARDIS. Relief filled him that she was nearby and he took off running down the street. He ran and ran, not caring who was watching or who he bumped into desperate to get into the safety of her walls. He found her tucked inside a small alley at the end of the long street. He pulled out his key, barely breaking his stride as he placed it into the lock.

"Why in the hell did you let me leave?" He yelled at her as he entered the console room. She hummed at him but didn't answer his question. He couldn't remember the last time she spoke to him. He threw his coat over the coral closest to the door before storming up the ramp. He threw the switch that locked the door to the TARDIS then smacked the console as hard as he could. "Answer me," he screamed. She blew cold air on him as he hit her again yet she still refused to talk to him. He kicked for good measure, but she continued to ignore him. Frustrated and in pain he retreated to the safety of his room. Once again he locked the door behind himself. Stripping his clothes off he left them on the floor of his room making his way to the shower. He turned on the water as hot as possible then stood beneath it. His skin was soon red from the water, but he didn't move. He just stared at the bottom of the tub wondering what his life had become. He couldn't remember the last time he traveled or set foot in a new city or cared about anything but getting ahold of more of the drug. The other Time Lords were right, he was a disgrace. Picking up the soap, he rubbed his red skin until it felt raw before he finally got out of the shower.

He crossed the room going back to where he had abandoned his clothes on the ground. Kneeling down, he dug the two small bags out of the pocket of his jacket. The drugs removed the pain he had felt his entire adult life except now he was terrified of how far he was willing to go to feel that relief. He still refused to believe that he had sold his body for the drugs even if the evidence was clear. If he could do that what was to stop him from hurting or even killing someone to get ahold of even a single bag. He hadn't thought of the consequences when he first sought it out, but now it was becoming clear. He couldn't let it continue to ruin his life. Holding them in his hand, he walked back into the bathroom lifting the lid to the loo. He opened the bags holding them over the water. All he had to do was let go. The TARDIS would dispose of the drug and then he would be free of it. That was until the craving became so bad that he went in search of it again. He closed the bags bringing them with him out of the bathroom and setting them on his bedside table. He needed help if he was ever going to be free of the drug. He couldn't ask for it, though. His friends and companions would never understand if he went to them needing help because he had been taking drugs.

"I'm a Time Lord," He reminded himself out loud. He was above such things as addictions to drugs. He could stop taking it whenever he wanted to. He dressed slowly in a clean suit, putting a tie on for the first time in awhile. He took the time to style his hair in the messy way that he favored. Feeling more confident in himself he decided to have a cup of tea to soothe a headache that was beginning to form. Picking up the bags off the bedside table he placed them in his pocket before heading to the kitchen.

-DW-

The Doctor did little more than sleep the next few days as his body recovered from the seizures that had wracked it. The new medications that he was on allowed him to slip into a deep sleep, but with them they also brought the return of his nightmares. For the most part, they had no idea what the nightmares were about, except for every once in awhile when the Doctor would scream a name or beg someone to listen to him. They tried not to wake him because even with the nightmares it was best to just let him sleep. Jack on more than one occasion, had to get into bed with him to soothe him as he screamed and writhed on the bed. Despite him feeling that he didn't deserve comfort, he never once complained when he opened his eyes to find himself curled in Jack's arms. Nor did he ask Jack to get out of the bed as he drifted off to sleep once more.

It was as he woke up on the fourth day that he found himself alone in the room. For a brief moment, he considered trying to run. Except he realized he didn't want to anymore. For the first time since he had been admitted to the hospital, he actually felt as if he could overcome the need to take the drug. The craving was still there, but it was no longer the overwhelming sensation that he had felt before. He looked up as the door to his room opened and Jack came in carrying two cups with him.

"I thought you might be waking up," Jack told him with a smile. The Doctor turned over to sit against the headboard making sure to sit on his cushion as he accepted one of the cups from Jack. He took a sip of the overly sweet tea holding it in his mouth as his friend took a seat beside him. Even if he never said it, he was grateful that Jack was there for him when he needed him the most. He knew he would hate Jack again when the drug craving became overwhelming once more, but for now, it was tolerable due to the medications Martha had given him.

"Jack. When does it stop hurting?" He asked softly as he lowered his tea cup.

"What do you mean?" Jack wondered. The Doctor motioned towards his bottom, too embarrassed to say the words. Jack closed his eyes briefly in understanding. "You are healing Doctor. Martha expects to be able to take out the stitches to come out in the next few days. If it hurts, though, I am sure she can put more of the topical on it to help soothe the pain."

"I don't know," The Doctor responded hesitantly.

"You shouldn't have to suffer for something that was done to your body without your permission," Jack told him.

"I don't know if it was," The Doctor replied so softly that Jack barely heard him.

"What do you mean?" Jack asked surprised that the Doctor was actually talking about what happened to him.

"I can't remember what happened. I don't know if I gave him permission to," The Doctor whispered staring down at his teacup. Jack opened then closed his mouth at a loss for words.

"Despite whether or not you gave him permission he had no right to hurt you the way he did," Jack told him after a moment. "Was that the first time you let someone use your body as payment?" The Doctor visibly flinched at the question then shook his head no. Taking a deep breath he swallowed, not sure if he wanted the answer to his next question. "How many times?"

"At least one other time," The Doctor informed him as he remembered waking up in the hotel room.

"At least?" Jack pushed for more information since the Doctor was actually talking.

"I can't remember," The Doctor admitted a tear slipping from the corner of his eye followed by another. Jack sat down his coffee, then climbed up on the bed wrapping his arms around the Doctor. The Doctor leaned into his touch, resting his head against Jack's chest.

"I know you probably don't want to think about it, but we should make sure that Martha has tested your blood for any possible STI's that you may have picked up," Jack advised him.

"Do we have to tell her?" The Doctor wondered. It had been hard enough to admit what he did to Jack without having to explain it to Martha as well.

"No, but if it is even remotely possible for you to contract an STI, then it is better that she does know. That way we can get you started on the proper medications if you need them," Jack told him. The Doctor nodded against his chest, his face once more flushed with embarrassment. Jack called for Martha as he continued to sit in bed with the Doctor holding him close. When Martha arrived the Doctor buried his face against Jack's chest refusing to look at her. "We need to know if you tested the Doctor's blood for any STIs," Jack inquired on the Doctor's behalf.

"I did. The test that have come back so far have been negative. We are still waiting on one or two from the labs, though. We will test him again over the next six months to make sure that nothing develops during that time," Martha told him wondering what brought up the subject. The Doctor breathed a visible sigh of relief as Jack kissed him on the top of the head. The Doctor made a face but didn't yell at Jack for kissing him. Since Martha was in the room, she checked the Doctor's vitals before sitting down in the chair that Jack abandoned. They still had other things that they needed to discuss that she had put off for too long now. She no longer had an excuse to avoid the conversation, though. He was awake and seemed more aware of what was going on around him. Knowing it was a step in the right direction she cleared her throat to get his attention. He turned his head still leaving it resting against Jack's chest as he looked at her.

"There are a few things I need to discuss with you. I am going to give you an option, though, of having Jack step out of the room while we talk," Martha told him. Jack was already aware of everything she was going to say, but she felt the Doctor had the right to have the conversation in private if he wanted to.

"Jack can stay," He answered immediately not wanting to be alone as he had the feeling he wasn't going to like what Martha had to tell him.

"Let's get started then."