A/N: On behalf of Coming Back thanks for your reviews and of course reading our story.
Chapter 10- First Love
Caroline didn't know how she'd landed in the seat she was occupying. Sat Nav, autopilot, perhaps? As she sat waiting for her order to be taken she not only wondered why she was there but what had triggered the sudden impulse to go to Gillie's (one of Hebdon Bridge longstanding gay establishments) in the first place. It wasn't as if she and Kate frequented the place. A glance about let it be known almost half the patrons were a generation behind Caroline's age group. So, familiar surroundings were not the reason.
Caroline was missing Kate and Flora so very much. And then there was the Walter situation – his sudden admission to the Willows and his failing health; all of which weighed heavily on her mind.
On the Sat Nav autopilot drive from the Willows to Gillie's she found herself questioning her decision to not tell Kate about Walter. To the point now she was unsure if it was the right choice. If something were to happen to Walter before Kate knew he was in such a bad way she would never forgive herself.
But why had Kate not responded to her mobile or text messages? Where the hell was she? That bloody disagreement about each other's exes was probably the whole cause of Kate "going dark" on her. Exes! How much more troubles could they cause her and Kate? Caroline couldn't help thinking.
Perhaps that was the reason that brought Caroline to Gillie's? It was the place where she could look about and find the "Kates and Carolines" of the world. Maybe being in such close proximity to their happiness could be contagious. Lighten her worries; provide a comfort zone.
"Decided yet? The young waitress was informal but pleasant enough. She followed her query with a toothy grin.
"Yes, yes I have." Said as Caroline tended to a lock of her blonde hair out of place. "Let's start with a glass of Shiraz for now. I'll order some food in a bit."
"Coming right up. M'lady."
Caroline was playing with her glass of wine when she heard her name being called.
"Caroline?" Though a question, it was more astonishment and delight rolled up into a single word. "Could it be Caroline Dawson…I mean Elliot…it is Elliot. You and John?"
"Melissa?! Yes, it is…me…but…I've divorced….remarried… McKenzie Dawson."
"Well, what ever name you go by these days, it's really lovely to see you. You look just fantastic! Twenty years, almost, right?" Speaking of looking fantastic. Melissa wore her age very admirably. She was still strikingly beautiful from tip to toe. Her good looks complemented even further by her impeccable manner of dressing to the nines. She stood in front of Caroline- just as how Caroline remembered her all those many years ago. Poised. Beautiful. Sexy as hell and charisma galore.
"Sit down if you have the time. I'd be…pleased to have you join me." Every feature of Caroline's face lit up into a bright smile. She was overjoyed with the unexpected encounter. Utterly delighted that her friend Melissa had chosen to take a seat and join her. They immediately reached and held their hands tightly together, their eyes rested on each other in an oh-so friendly way. Their smiles grew bigger with each passing minute.
"Last I heard you were in Harrogate. What brings you here?" By "here" she did not mean Hebdon Bridge "here".
"Oh… you…you… mean…erm…Gillie's?" Caroline's halting response suggested that she had been put in an embarrassing position. But in fact, her hesitation was brought about because she hadn't yet figured out just what had brought her to Gillie's.
"Doesn't matter. Just wonderful seeing you. Lovely, really. Just lovely." Melissa dismissed any answer Caroline was prepared to give her.
The two women slid quickly and comfortably into a pleasant conversation. Amusing one another with tales of their past- those good old days spent together at Oxford. When they were inseparable- never one without the other, that was the promise.
Their reminiscing brought about tears of laughter. Recalled events that needed some prodding to remember or perhaps admit to doing.
"I didn't really do that. Did I?"
"Oh yes you did Caroline Dawson!"
"Maybe, but you Melissa Jones must have encouraged it; had a hand in getting me to do something like that… because…'
"Because you were the one and only Caroline Dawson that could do no wrong…."
It was just like old times again Melissa thought. More than once her eyes wondered inappropriately. Drifted down Caroline's body; stopped at the most appealing places and remained there seconds too long. Caroline noticed but chose to ignore. Chalked it up as innocuous liberties taken by her ex-lover.
For Melissa old feelings begun to re-emerge at rapid pace. Caroline was the kind of woman easy to love; hard to forget. She imaged Caroline's naked body pressed tightly against hers; she remembered those times how incredible she felt when they made love. It was twenty years ago and truth be told she still had not gotten over Caroline Dawson. All evening she struggled to resist the urge to reach over and pull Caroline into a lover's embrace. To claim her as her own again - be damn the wedding ring that was so prominently displayed on Caroline's finger. Melissa wanted those good old Oxford days and nights back so badly she ached. The wine, the laughter, the holding of hands, the flirtation served only to encourage; served only to heightened her desire for Caroline. Served only to dream of making love, endlessly.
"So tell me about him?' Caroline had wandered into Gillie's for a reason and Melissa was convinced she could be the very cure for the cause.
"John…?" Caroline looked puzzled. Melissa hated John with a passion.
"No silly. Not that idiot. Your new husband. Who I suspect is the very reason you're here." Or so Melissa was hoping. The twinkle in her eyes was a dead giveaway.
"Melissa, I'm afraid you've misunderstood. I'm very happily married. Caroline touched her wedding ring, thinking it might add support to what she was saying. "It's just my…my wife she's visiting her mother and Walter, my dad's…I've been beside myself so I…"
"Your wife?" Is all Melissa heard. The mentioning of a "wife" sent their once amicable encounter into a tailspin.
"Yes…Kate. We've been married for just over two years now." Caroline chose to ignore the obvious- a very agitated Melissa and the danger of an ex-lover about to implode.
"Then it seems you really were gay after all." The character of her voice carried a stinging sarcastic bite to it. And her very dark eyes revealed a hurt lingering within.
"Melissa," Caroline attempted to justify past behaviour, "when we were…together…I…was only eighteen…nineteen…university makes you do…If I hurt…I'm sorry for hurting you. I did love you." She did her best to sound convincing; all the while asking herself if she really had truly loved her "first love".
"Just not enough to come out. Not enough to tell your mother to go stick it. Not enough to send John packing."
"No, not enough I suppose." Unpleasant to hear but it was the truth. "Look Melissa, it's taken a very long time to come to terms with…actually, I was a coward. For many years. Plain and Simple."
"And so you left me and ran off with John…."
"It wasn't that black and white, Melissa. I…."
Thank God they were interrupted by the waitress. "You two ladies fancy anything else to drink?" Caroline's companion was ready to drink the Thames dry. So yeah, hell yeah- she'd have whatever Caroline was having only twice as much.
"After you left me I cried for months every time I heard that stupid love song you said was ours." Melissa had suppressed telling the truth. Tears still welled up in her eyes, after all these years, when she heard that song. "Do you remember that night…our song?" Melissa questioned; hoping for a heartfelt response.
Caroline parted her lips but no words sprung out. How could they? She neither remembered the night nor did she remember the song. Thrown in sudden contemplation she racked her brain to recall. But all she could remember was that there was only ever one "our song"- Will You Still Love Me Tomorrow and there was only ever one night- a very special Christmas Eve night. All else was oblivious to her.
"What would have been their song?" Caroline thought as she combed through an imaginary play list. "Someone Like You?" Never! She couldn't imagine whispering those words to anyone but Kate. Not then. Not now. Not ever. Her search for love; her wait for love; has always been for Kate - to give her courage to be herself; to make her life all worthwhile.
"The Look of Love?" The very title of the song made her smile, involuntarily. Conjured up memories of the sexy looks exchanged between her and Kate. The nonverbal conversation that told each other exactly how truly they were in love. So, no to that one too- never in a million years could she look at someone the way she looks at Kate.
"You Are So Beautiful?" Melissa may be one stunning beauty; even Caroline could see that- but her Kate. Well, beauty is in the eye of the beholder, isn't it? And Caroline can see no one else more beautiful than her Kate. So ditch that song also.
"You don't remember do you, Caroline?" There was more than a hint of sadness in Melissa's voice.
"Melissa it was a long time ago…we were just kids…we said and did things…" Clearly, "first love" didn't hold the same status with Caroline as it had with Celia and Alan. Nor it seemed with Melissa. Or just maybe all of Caroline's life she had been saving her "first love" for Kate and only Kate. She could have waited forever and a day for Kate, if she would have had to. She was surer of this now than ever.
"What's she like your wife?" Why was it that Melissa could take more kindly to Caroline being married to a man and less so with Caroline being married to another woman? True competition one supposed? Or a blatant reminder of how Caroline did not love her enough to live up to her love words whispered to Melissa while making love in the dark of night.
"Besides being wonderful? She's the….." Caroline stopped herself just in time from saying the "love of my life" She realized just how cruel it would have been to say. "She's the mother of my child. We have a daughter."
Each successive revelation given by Caroline buried their love deeper into oblivion. The child revelation was the final nail in the coffin. "I see." Melissa whispered out, in crestfallen fashion. No longer able to disguise the pain she was feeling.
"Melissa, I still have very fond memories of what we had. I will for always. It was special, our relationship. You were special. But you just came along …no we just came along at an impossible time in my life."
"My oh my, lucky me?" Sardonic yet painfully sad.
There was an awkward lull in the conversation. What else was there to be said other than: "I have to go now Caroline." Melissa gulped down the last bit of wine from her glass; threw some money on the table. "It was nice seeing you again." It really wasn't. Not after Caroline's revelations. But it was the adult thing to say.
"Perhaps some other time, then?" Caroline lied through her teeth. She knew full well there would be no "some other time." Bloody hell, both women knew that - it wasn't rocket science. In short order the contact information that was exchanged would be deleted from their phones.
Caroline and Melissa who once were passionate young lovers stared at each other for what seemed an eternity. One realizing pining for lost love the last umpteen years had been a journey of folly. Serving only to ruin good relationships which should have lasted longer than short term. The other realizing if she lived a thousand years she could never love anyone but Katherine Ebike McKenzie Dawson.
With one last hallow smile Melissa turned and headed out. And as improbable as improbable could be the soft background music crooned out: Roberta Flack's rendition of "Will You Still Love Me Tomorrow." Caroline's lips parted and she spoke out loud: "Yes I will. And for all the tomorrows after that."
Like her father before her there would only ever be one love for Caroline. And if ever the cruel hand of fate felt the need to separate Kate from her whoever else followed as her partner would be a mere pretender to the throne, for it was the two of them together, our Caroline and our Kate that possessed the magic.
Caroline reached for her phone. Deleted Melissa's contact information and then quickly tapped out a text to Kate. Wishing and hoping that his time Kate would respond. By God, she so needed her now. Needed to patch things up before burdening Kate with the sad news of Walter.
"Please come home. ASAP! Exes be damn! There is no one in this universe that I could love more than you." Cxxoo
In a matter of minutes she received a text from Kate.
"Surprise! I am home. Came back early! Just to be with you. Yes, Exes be damn. C&K together! Forever!
Let no man (or woman) put asunder. Kxxxxxxx"
"Great! I have something very important to tell you when I see you but first there's one other thing I need to ask."
"Your wish is my command."
"Ok. Mrs. McKenzie Dawson will you have our baby?"
"Sure! But only if you come home this instant."
"Close your eyes, my lovely. Be there in a jiffy."
"I'll be waiting! UPSTAIRS!"
To be continued