A/N: This chapter is a joint venture with both Coming Back and me sharing the writing of it. We split the chapter; Coming Back wrote Part One ( which will answer the question of what was in the envelope) and I did Part Two- (which will answer the question why this story kept Caroline's age at 46) Enjoy!
Chapter 12
The Gifts of Love
Caroline felt Kate squeeze her hand as she rose out of her seat to give the short eulogy in front of Walter's coffin. Her knees were shaking and she felt uncertain and flushed; "I have to do this; he would want this" going through her head as she steadied herself.
She looked up at the small gathering of folk who had come to farewell Walter Higgins. She had insisted that William and Lawrence be there, even if only to support her and Kate. Celia had raised merry hell that Caroline was going to speak openly of how she was connected to Walter.
"What about me Caroline? What about my reputation; yours is already shot to pieces at your own hand, but I don't deserve to be humiliated."
"Mum, your humiliation is a sad bi-product of the truth; it isn't about you today, it's about Walter and to a certain extent my dad." Celia had shaken her head and bustled her way out of the back door.
Caroline looked up at them all and smiled. "Thank you for coming today to celebrate Walter's life. This won't be a lengthy story; as many of you know, Kate and I have only just in the last few months had the pleasure and privilege of getting to know him better. There isn't any better or easier way to tell you how I and later, Kate got to know him other than being open and straightforward. My father, Kenneth and Walter were lovers for many years, before and after he married my mother and before and after I was born."
There was a look of surprise on some of the faces present; a couple of Walter's relatives had come and Caroline noticed them look down, taking their eyes off her.
"They were young men born too soon. In today's world they would have been able to celebrate their love for each other and be open and in a permanent relationship. Sadly for them, they spent years in the shadows, enjoying only fleeting times together when my father could sneak away for a few hours."
Caroline had to stop; emotion took over and she found herself fighting back sobs and holding an enormous weight in her chest. Kate discretely walked over to her and held her; she took the notes out of Caroline's hand and continued.
"Caroline and I have been fortunate; we are able to be married and live in an open and proud way with our children beside us. When Walter was dying, he found Caroline again, at great cost to himself and asked that he may be allowed to see her and talk to her about his life with her father. It has been a healing and beautiful experience for Walter and Caroline and we can only say how blessed we feel to have been beside him as he died. Knowing that he at last felt loved and accepted."
Kate turned to the coffin, her arm around Caroline; "Safe journey Walter; and may you forever know only peace and happiness."
The two women had organised a small lunch in a private room at a nearby hotel. The guests were mainly from the nursing home and a few old folk who had worked with Walter up until his retirement. Caroline did notice the two family members standing isolated in a corner, deep in conversation. She took a deep breath and walked over to them.
"Hello, I'm Caroline; I take it you are Jack and Sandra, Walter's niece and nephew?"
The man in his late thirties stepped towards her and put out his hand, offering her a rather limp handshake. "Yes our father is Walter's brother."
"Well thank you for coming today; I'm sure it would have meant a lot to him to know that someone from the family was here."
"Yes, erm well thank you for letting us know and arranging the funeral for him. It's been difficult for us, our father cut Walter off when he told us erm you know... my dad never forgave him for the shame he brought to our family and his parents. We've been forbidden to have anything to do with him. As you can see our dad wouldn't even come today."
"Well it was a long time ago and people's attitudes were different in those days;" Caroline said, smiling at them both.
Sandra looked Caroline straight in the eye; "My attitude certainly isn't different; I am only here out of duty. I have no acceptance of his or your lifestyle. Now before we leave could you please tell us when the reading of the will takes place and where?"
Caroline could feel the bile rising up in her throat; Kate noticed the change on her face and strode over to them firmly grasping Caroline's hand. "Is everything alright darling?" She noticed a look of disdain flash across Sandra's face as she watched them.
"Oh yes; Kate, this is Jack and Sandra, Walter's niece and nephew and they were just enquiring about the reading of the will."
Kate looked shocked. "I should imagine that's something the solicitor will deal with, I'm sure she'll tell you later, if and when your presence is needed;" guiding Caroline away from them.
After the lunch had finished, the solicitor gathered them into her office with a folder in her hand; "Thanks for doing this today, easier than people traveling again. As you know we are here to read the last will and testament of Walter Higgins and all who are mentioned in the will are present."
Lawrence looked puzzled; he had no idea why his mother had literally dragged him and Will to this stupid meeting. Flora was asleep in her stroller and the two strangers had been introduced to him and William as they arrived; however he really had no idea who they were.
"I bequeath £20,000 to the HIV Aids Foundation in memory of all our friends, who lost their lives so tragically.
To my niece Sandra and nephew Jack I bequeath £50,000 each and the contents of my home that belong or are related to the Higgins Family. This is in recognition that they are my blood relatives; for no other reason.
My property, money and the rest and residue of my estate goes to Caroline and Kate McKenzie-Dawson.
This is my final will and testament. I graciously ask that all parties treat my wishes and each other respectfully."
She lay the document down on the desk and gently and hopefully said; "I assume there are no contests to this will?"
Kate and Caroline shook their heads as did Sandra and Jack who knew that they had done extremely well considering their attitude. A moment later they both got up and after a cursory nod to everyone, left the room.
"Caroline and Kate if I could just ask you to sign some papers and then we can proceed to probate; I suspect that there will be no challenge from Walter's niece and nephew. He left a letter for them and I doubt they will feel proud of themselves when they read it. However that's not your concern. We'll be in touch when all the business is concluded."
After dinner, Caroline sat Kate down on the sofa and brought out the envelope Walter had asked Rena to give her. On the front it read: "For Caroline –to be opened after my funeral."
Two envelopes fell out. The first one contained all the photos he told her Kenneth had given him. She turned each one over and read her father's writing "Caroline – her first day of school" Ken xx.
It was such a joy for Kate to see the photos; reaching into the past together was not something she and Caroline had much time to do so far.
Within the second envelope was a hand-written letter from her father.
"My darling daughter,
When you read this letter, I shall be long gone and Walter will have passed away too. I can only hope that if there is indeed an afterlife, he and I will be together as we should. I only hope that you were able to offer Walter some comfort in my last days, and indeed his.
Watching you grow up always filled me with such joy and pride; but also a great deal of sadness knowing that you were in a home that was not full of love and laughter as it should have been. I'm so sorry that I was in great part to blame for that. I hope you'll find it in your heart to forgive me.
All I ask of you now is that you try to remember me and Walter fondly and understand the trials we underwent. I wish it could have been different, I wish you could have grown up with him in your life.
My darling girl, whatever life is for you as you read this, promise me that you will look for happiness and love whatever the cost; don't settle for anything less than you deserve. I'm of the mind that you haven't found your soul mate yet; and my dying wish is that you will, and when you do, you'll seize them with both hands.
Your loving Dad."
Caroline let the letter fall onto her chest; she stared straight ahead taking in her father's words. Kate lifted her arm and slid against Caroline's body, wrapping her in tenderness. It was hard to imagine what she must be feeling at this moment.
They had been on such a roller coaster these past few months. Now they had to face all the business of sorting out Walter's estate and more importantly the new life they hoped would soon be growing within her. She felt sad that Walter would not meet this new child, but grateful she'd been able to tell him that she and Caroline were going to try for another baby. He'd been overjoyed.
Celia appeared at the kitchen window and tapped to be let in. Caroline quickly put away the photos and letter and sighed at the inevitable cross examination she knew was about to happen.
"Hello, how did the funeral go?"
"It went very well Celia, Caroline did a great job on all the preparations and I'm sure Walter would have been very happy with his send off."
"Did many people show up?"
"No, there weren't a lot, but enough that it was fitting; some of the staff from the nursing home, his doctor and solicitor, some of his old work colleagues, us, and a niece and nephew. We all managed to have a chat at the lunch afterwards."
"I thought he didn't have any family that was interested in him."
"No well they were keen to find out when the will would be read; so I suppose they thought they'd better put in an appearance." Caroline gritted her teeth as she answered. "We had the reading of the will later in the afternoon."
"Right, I see." Celia was itching to know what if anything Walter had left them. She knew he was well off, old family money. However this was not the right time to be asking; Caroline would no doubt tell her in her own time; if indeed at all.
Part Two
Right after all the business of sorting out Walter's estate was finished Caroline and Kate moved into Walter's beautiful stately home; complete with the lovely English garden that held so many precious memories. The move was a new beginning for Caroline and Kate. A gorgeous home- a gift of love- that was truly theirs- far from the madness of John and Conway Drive. Just before the move, as good fortune would have it, lo and behold Kate got pregnant again.
When the baby was born the whole gang (including Lawrence) crowded around Kate's bed. Admiring and cooing over the new born baby boy, Kate had just given birth to. The tiny bundle of life lie quiet and content in Kate's arms. Both Kate and Caroline beamed with joy to think that they had created such a priceless treasure. How perfect. How wonderful. How beautiful the baby was - blonde, blue eyed, fair-skinned. Celia said he looked more like Caroline than her boys ever did. How in the world Kate's baby could ever come out looking so much like Caroline was beyond Celia.
Perhaps one day Caroline would explain the "how" to Celia but for now that tale could come another day. This day, every moment of it, belonged to mothers and baby …baby boy Kenneth Walter Mackenzie Dawson- their gift of love.
At one point during the celebration of the baby's arrival Caroline looked up. No doubt her mind was playing tricks on her. She saw her father with his arm affectionately wrapped around Walter; both men were peering at the newborn baby with smiles of pride and joy. And then Walter spoke to Caroline. He simply said: "Thank you, my darling Caroline."
Kate knew. Why Caroline took the baby from her. She watched as Caroline ever so tenderly, ever so lovingly planted a kiss on one side of the baby's cheek - a kiss for his granddad Kenneth and then on the other cheek - a kiss for his granddad Walter. A sudden flow of tears streamed slowly down Caroline's face – they were happy tears. Tears of joy she was only too glad to weep.
The End
End Note: Thank you for allowing me to bring C&K back to fictional life. And most importantly thank you Coming Back for coming out of "retirement" and contributing such lovely chapters for the Walter character. It's the best swan song gift that I could ever hope for – you're the best! Good-bye All and thanks tons for reading not only this story but all my other stories.