CHAPTER 4:3

Jayce couldn't believe his ears. He was shocked and made petrified in every muscle of his body and his heart almost stopped beating. Vi's sentence kept on repeating in his mind a thousand times and a thousand times more, but he could not simply comprehend it all. It felt all too unreal.

I should have known.

That was all he could think. I should have known and understood it all. Jayce opened his mouth but closed it again. He knew he looked stupid but didn't care about it for the moment. He didn't know what to say nor what to do.

But something fluttered inside of his heart.

I should have done something about it. Then she would've perhaps been able to move on, but like this... I should have known. Damn, I should have noticed something – anything. Even the slightest and I should have reacted.

"That... That was not meant to come out. Especially not like that."

Jayce raised his gaze from the floor and looked her. She was wiping something off her cheeks. "Vi, I–" he started but she cut him off.

"It's nothing, really," she said quietly and turned away from him. "I-I'm sorry, I didn't mean to make you feel uncomfortable. It's alright."

He suddenly felt disgusted with himself. Vi had finally come to confession with him, telling him about how she felt for him, and only that was a bravery he had never been able to muster. Even if he wanted to tell Caitlyn – and actually had tried – he had always been too scared or shy to say it. That was very admirable, even coming from someone as extrovert and loud as Vi. And while she was at it, she now seemed to be trying to comfort him and apologize to him for being such an ignorant fool.

I should be the one consoling her, not the other way around, he thought with a sigh. If only I could have realized it earlier and maybe stopped it... I don't know. "Vi, really, I'm–"

"–sorry?" She ended the sentence for him and finally met his eyes. Her tears were gone, but her sadness remained and it ached in his heart, knowing that he was the source of her torment. "Sorry for what? Not feeling likewise?" she asked and made a weak effort to smile. "Or for bringing me here? Getting you all this extra trouble?"

"No, definitely not the last," he replied as quickly as he could, before she would be able to interrupt him again. Vi stayed quiet and he continued. "I'm sorry for not realizing it earlier. I should have noticed something and maybe..." His voice trailed off as he found nothing good to say.

Vi's smile widened, if ever so slightly. "And done what?" She shook her head and picked up her bag of belongings, throwing it over her left shoulder. "You would've somehow read my mind all along and force me to confess it for you then talk it through like you're some kind of a psychiatrist? I don't think so. You're not my family. I'm not your responsibility, handsome."

Jayce suddenly remembered. "But wait a little... didn't I ask you about this two years back or so?" he wondered confusedly. "I'm pretty sure I did. And you denied it while threatening to use me as your boxing bag. I was a hundred percent certain that you were honest with me at the time."

"You take something from two years ago and refer to it now?" Vi's voice had turned harsh and filled with contempt. "People tend to change and reconsider their views after a while. I did of you."

She started heading out of the room and Jayce followed. His limbs were no longer stiff and he could easily grab her by her arm. Vi shrugged it off but stopped in her tracks and faced him.

"What?" she angrily asked.

Jayce frowned. "Why didn't you tell me earlier?" he asked. "How long have you been..." He swallowed. "How long have you been suffering?"

"Suffering?" She repeated confusedly and slightly offended, but he knew he had chosen the correct word to explain her feelings. He saw it in her eyes. Vi seemed to be wanting to curse at him but stopped herself and sighed in frustration.

"I don't know," she finally admitted. "Maybe a year or so."

For so long. "And what made you change your mind about me? How did you come to love me?" he inquired. The guy that was "foolishly in love with the most cold-hearted woman in the world"? The guy who only did as that woman told him to do? The guy that knew he was being played with like a little toy by that woman but kept going on because he didn't want to lose her? That pathetic guy?

"I don't know!" she exclaimed furiously and lashed out with her arms. "How could you not have noticed? How ignorant can you be?" Her eyebrows furrowed. "And it's not like I wanted this in the first place; do you understand how stupid this looks now after you and Cait broke up? It looks like I'm some backstabbing bitch!"

"It does indeed," he agreed. He was still too shocked to understand the situation fully. "So why did you tell me then? Now, all of a sudden?"

Jayce hadn't meant for the question to sound so rough and instantly regretted ever asking. Vi's eyes widened and her cheeks flushed in abasement and shame. He realized that he had mocked her, but it was too late to apologize – Vi was already out of the hotel room.

Jayce gave himself a mental slap and headed out into the hallway for her. It split into three directions and he saw her sprinting down to his right, straight towards the elevators. He hurried after her and even though he was no bad runner at all, Vi quickly approached the end of the corridor and he was nowhere near her. A large party of eight abruptly exited a room in front of him and blocked his path. They were a bit drunk and very loud, causing quite a tumult as he navigated through them all. He could see Vi standing impatiently and pushing the buttons for an elevator to arrive.

"Vi!" he shouted while pushing past the last two. "Hey, wait up!"

Her blue eyes flashed at him but then focused on the wall in front of her. Jayce understood that the elevator had reached her and pushed himself even harder. He told himself that the only reason he wanted to get to Vi was because he didn't want to lose a good friend, but knew that the truth was else. He really did care for her but hadn't realized it until now. His mind whispered shamefully of Caitlyn, telling him that he was pursuing another woman to make her jealous, and even though it contained a seed of truth, he would never do something like that to Vi. He... liked her, in all honesty. Jayce always got along well with her – although some bickering and fussiness occurred from time to time – and definitely didn't want to lose her. He wasn't yet sure if his feelings for Vi were same to what he still felt for Caitlyn, but he wanted to see if perhaps something similar would appear, and that taking the long and hard road. Not a one-night stand.

Because as shameful it was for him to admit, Jayce wanted to forget Caitlyn, no matter the cost. She had caused him too much emotional pain and he would do almost anything to remove her from his memory. Caitlyn still haunted him in his thoughts. He wanted it all gone. Maybe Vi could be his way back into true happiness.

Maybe, maybe not. Jayce, listen to yourself. Don't you understand how fucked up everything will get? Caitlyn and then Vi. You look like some sick trophy-hunter. And how will you explain to either of them? Jayce ignored his dark thoughts.

"Vi, please, wait!"

Jayce reached the elevator just before it closed and, without any further thinking, drove his foot through the small space between the almost shut doors. To his luck, the doors popped open. They were designed to withstand energetic children and popped open when being touched while closing or opening. It was a feature that usually annoyed him when he was stuck in an elevator together with a large family a stressful day at the mall, but now he wished to bless whoever had come to think of it.

The doors opened and Jayce stumbled into the room. He was panting heavily and tried to catch his breath while talking.

"I..." Jayce reclined towards the wall and exhaled. "Puh, that was quite the exercise."

"Get the fuck out of here."

He shook his head. The elevator door closed behind him and it started going down. "No way I'm letting you run off like that." Jayce glanced at her. "Vi, I can't just let you end things like that. No matter how stupid and ignorant you might think I am, I will definitely not let you slip away like that."

Vi's gaze was fixed onto the floor. "If you want an excuse from me I can give you one now," she replied, her voice hinting a tone of bitter regret. "I'm sorry for dumping it onto your shoulders. I know you're busy with Viktor and... Caitlyn, but I..." She swallowed. "I just wanted it said. Though not like that. I didn't mean that about Caitlyn; she's my best friend and I would never treat her like that. She's helped me gain everything I have today." A smile tugged at the corner of her lips but she quickly recollected herself. "I'm not going to betray her – ever."

She suddenly raised her gaze and their eyes locked. He felt like she had something more to tell him and kept quiet. Vi hesitantly took a step towards him then paused; then took another step. She stood in front of him and even though he was leaning backwards, she was forced to straighten and stand on her tiptoes for their faces to end up in the same level. Jayce opened his mouth to ask what she was trying to do but Vi quickly silenced him by pressing a finger to his lips.

"But... just let me have this," she whispered. "Just this tiny, tiny piece of my wish. Then I'll leave, I promise."

Jayce frowned and grabbed her wrist to pull her finger away, but as he did so, Vi placed a soft kiss on his lips. It was only brief and very light, but her touch warmed his whole body in an instant. It was something completely different, something he had never experienced before, and it shocked him – but he didn't want it to stop.

The elevator arrived at the bottom floor and opened with a soft tone. Vi pulled away from him, ending the kiss as swiftly as it had begun. Her cheeks were flushed and she immediately tried to hide from his gaze by turning her face away.

"Bye Jayce," she said quietly and slipped out of the elevator.

That is, if he hadn't been holding her arm.

Jayce tightened his grip around her wrist until it almost hurt. He didn't want to let go off her. Ever.

"Jayce...?"

Doing this will not only break your relationship with Caitlyn officially; choosing Vi will be a permanent goodbye to Cait, his consciousness said calmly. Are you really going to go through with this?

"It doesn't matter," he said, more to himself than to Vi. She looked at him in surprise and he continued with renewed confidence. "Let's just forget about Caitlyn. At least for now."

Vi looked confused. "What... what do you mean?" she asked slowly.

"I mean–" Jayce swallowed. "I mean that I'm ready to move on."

Vi tried to back away as he took a step towards her, but the elevator was too small for her to advance any further than a foot backwards. Her back hit the southwest corner of the elevator and she felt her heart racing.

What is he trying to do? "Jayce?"

"What is it?"

His eyes were filled with determination but something softened as he heard her anxiousness. He smiled slightly. "I'm not going to hurt you or anything," he said with a hint of amusement. "And I don't even think I could hurt you; aren't you made of steel or something?"

The elevator door closed right behind her.

"Wrong lady," she snapped back. Her voice had been sharp; she had meant to mock him but he didn't seem offended at all.

"Just listen," he said and Vi obeyed, albeit while glaring at him. He was still holding her wrist. "I'm not saying that we should just rush all of this and try to live happily ever after. I don't want anything to be hidden from Cait and I could even tell her myself. I just don't want us to end. Especially not like this."

… What? "What do you mean?" Vi repeated her earlier question.

Jayce sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. "I know it's hard to clarify but Vi;" he suddenly gripped her wrist; "But I'm pretty sure I don't want to lose you."

Vi stiffened. His hand was warm against her cold skin and even though she knew it would be better to shove him away, she let him hold her. It will only hurt more later, a voice whispered malignantly. He will go back to Caitlyn as soon as she allows him to. You're better off without him. "Eh?"

"You heard me," he replied gravely but with a hint of humor. "It might sound weird but I... I really loved Cait. When we..." His voice wavered and he paused for a moment before speaking again. "When she decided that we were over, I didn't know what to do for days. I know I sound pathetic and timid but it's the truth. I... I was so lost."

"Jayce–" she started but he cut her off.

"I never thought life could hurt that much, but I recovered." Jayce moved even closer to her and grabbed both of her hands in his, rendering her unable to shove him away. He pressed her fingers against his chest. "Even though I tried to lie to myself, I just couldn't. And I guess I know why now."

"Why?" she asked boldly. Vi was too shocked to care about her red cheeks and nervously pumping heartbeats. She just hoped Jayce wasn't able to hear her stumbling heart.

I feel like a little girl, she suddenly realized and blushed ever more. Like a little schoolgirl and her first celebrity-crush. How pathetic I am.

"Because when you kissed me, I felt so different."

Vi returned to her current situation and as she understood the fullest sense of his words, she couldn't hide her shock. She hadn't planned it to progress like this. She had only wanted to quickly kiss him and walk away, not mess it all up. Vi didn't want anything to do with Jayce since it would definitely ruin her relationship with Caitlyn, but yet she longed to be with him.

Loyalty or love?

"Jayce, I don't know about this..." she said quietly and averted her gaze. "I don't want to fuck up things with Cait and I definitely don't want to make her sad. So let me go, please." Truth is, I don't want to watch you crawl back to Cait as soon as she decides that she want you back.

"So you're going to sacrifice your own happiness for nothing?"

Vi soaked her lips. "Are the two of you really done?" she wondered and met his eyes. They were sad but honest as he replied.

"Yes," he said and sighed. "I won't go back to her again, Vi, not after this. Not again." Jayce gently caressed her cheek and she almost shivered beneath his delicate touch. "You must think so lowly of me."

Vi didn't know how to reply and he chuckled. "I know I might seem like a wimp but I'm not. I would like to consider myself brave." She raised her eyebrows at him and he grinned. "Come on! How many people can stand Cait usually? Not to mention guys?"

"She's well-respected," answered Vi dryly but couldn't hide her smile for especially long. "But she's very... unique." Her last sentence sounded like a question.

Jayce laughed. "I would say not even one percent of Valoran's population could stand her." His laughter died and he was serious again as he continued. "And I came to love her."

Vi's smile disappeared as well and she started feeling uncomfortable when Jayce touched her face again. His features were calm as was his voice when he spoke again.

"Vi," he said, "I don't want her anymore. I did love her, I can't deny that, but I don't want to love her any longer." Jayce paused and his finger trailed the edge of her jawline. "I'm not going to invest any more of my time on her. I've had enough. Vi... I want you."

His fingers slowly nestled into her hair and she immediately relented beneath his grasp. Vi tried to push him away but realized that she was unable to resist the feeling of him – she wanted this.

I'm so freaking fucked, she thought grimly but didn't resist as Jayce lowered his head towards hers and kissed her, their lips softly brushing against each other before settling. I swear something bad will happen.

I can feel it.

"Vi, answer, damn it!"

Caitlyn moodily glared out of the window and groaned as the call went to voice mail. She was currently stuck in the shower – her conditioner was empty.

She sighed and pinched the bridge of her nose. Since when did I forget to replenish my seemingly infinite amount of toiletries? Never! Why this day?!

"Vi, please call me back as soon as you can," she said into her – fortunately – water resistant phone. "I'm in a rather... hefty situation. Buy me some of the purple hair conditioner down at Jeffrey's, you know the bottle where it clearly says 'Ionian Lotus'; it's a big pink and white flower on it so you can't miss it. If that's out of stock, ask if they have a last bottle standing somewhere and if you consider it necessary, show them your badge and tell them it's a national crisis. Because it is. Eh, what do I need more? Oh, yes, toilet paper... maybe some juice as well. Blueberry. Or orange." She paused and pondered before continuing. "While you're at it, please bring some takeout food and rent a couple of movies. Buy some snacks as well if you want, because I'm out of it." Caitlyn bit her lower lip and suddenly felt guilty for her recent busy days. "I feel like we haven't spent much time together... You know, it was just with the ambassador from Noxus coming here and all – Du Couteau, you know – so I've been somewhat of a bitter bitch. And sorry about throwing you out of the City Hall as well; I was really stressed. So come on over and let's have just a nice time. Bye, see you when I see you."

Caitlyn hung up with a sigh and tossed her phone onto her neatly folded clothes on the closed toilet seat. It landed perfectly.

So how much time will it take for her to fix that? Ten minutes? Twenty? It wasn't too much – was it?

She shook her head. We're almost neighbors and she knows what she's doing. The shop is just down the stairs and over the street; she can find the conditioner, the toilet paper, the juice and the snacks there as well. Then she'll just have to round the corner and order something at the multicultural all-round-restaurant and while they're fixing the food, she ought to rent the movies at the floor above. It shouldn't take long. I bet I could make that in less than ten.

Caitlyn turned on the hot water again and let it flow through her messy tendrils. The heat caressed her aching head and body, but it also helped her to think. And she couldn't stop herself from thinking about Jayce.

I-I can't do this alone... I need you, Cait.

"Stop it," she commanded and spat out the water that had gotten into her mouth as she spoke. "Stop."

This is outrageous; what nation won't provide its denizens with justice?! What the hell is wrong with this place?!

Stop, she growled mentally and clenched her fists. Stop thinking about that.

If you can't do this as the Sheriff, could you do this as yourself?

No, Jayce, I can't. You don't understand, but I can't. Don't make me do this, please.

Caitlyn, I lo—

"Shut the fuck up!"

Caitlyn panted. Her scream had surely been heard even from the outside. She looked at her hands and noticed that they were bleeding. She had cut herself on something, but couldn't find where. Not like she cared.

His hurt expression burned itself into my mind that day. When he knelt before me I knew it was over. I couldn't take him back.

Several annoying voices immediately assaulted her with questions. Why? Why couldn't you do that, Cait? What are you afraid of? What Vi will think and say? What your parents will say? What whole Piltover will say? Or didn't you think he was the right one? Is Jayce wrong for you?

Caitlyn sunk down on the floor and started crying. She couldn't hinder it; her sorrow was too powerful. She hadn't cried a single drop over Jayce until now and understood that it was necessary to let him go.

What is it? Why can't you be with Jayce? The voices refused to let her off easily. What is it that you're afraid of? Cait, what do you fear?

C.

"Cait!"

Caitlyn instantly rose up. Vi, she thought and smiled. I can always trust you.

She heard the front door being closed with a loud bang and then the sound of Vi's heavy footsteps. Caitlyn grimaced when thinking about what dirt her partner must have dragged in – because neither the shop, the restaurant nor the rental place had especially "clean" floors, at least with Caitlyn's measurements – and sighed heavily.

"Hey, Cupcake, where you at?"

I'll have to clean again, she thought irritably. "In the shower, where else?" she called and sniffled. Thank god that I was crying while in the shower. Vi would mock me forever if she found me like I was a moment ago. Wait... it's downright obvious when I've cried. "Eh, Vi–"

"Seriously? All this time?"

Someone grabbed the handle to the bathroom door and started opening it. Caitlyn reacted in an instant.

"Vi, don't come in!" she yelled. The door opened just a few inches and she exhaled in relief. "Thanks."

"Why the shyness?" Vi sounded amused and Caitlyn rolled with her eyes. "I've seen you naked before and I assure you that I'm not interested at all," she said and laughed. "Like totally not. Uh-uh."

What? Caitlyn blushed and cleared her throat. "I'm just in a situation at the moment," she said sternly and tried to sound as composed as she could. "Please, respect my wish and gracefully place the conditioner on the floor. It would be very appreciated."

"Fancy going here with the words, Cait." Vi paused. "Is... everything alright in there? You need help with something?"

"No," she abruptly replied and quickly changed subject. "I'm fine, really. Thanks for passing by; you really are such a life-saver. You got any good movies? What about the food?"

"Hmm, 'life-saver' is a bit exaggerated but..." Vi chuckled. "I got you some weird Ionian thing I know you like – noodles and fried beef with some brown sauce – and two horror movies. I suggest you to watch 'The Last Harrowing' after you've eaten... there's lot of gore in that one."

Caitlyn frowned. "It sounds like you're going somewhere." Vi didn't reply. "Are you?"

"I have a thing or two to fix, so I can't accompany you this time, Cupcake, I'm sorry," she finally answered. "I wanted to chill here but no, I can't. I'm in a hurry now so I guess I'll see you at the office!"

"Vi?" asked Caitlyn but her partner was already off. She heard the bang of the door as it closed again.

What was up with that? She seemed troubled, mused Caitlyn anxiously but then shook her head. No, it has nothing to do with you. If she wanted or needed your help she would definitely ask; she's not as proud as you are. She'll be fine.

And with that, Caitlyn returned to her shower.

"Hello, is anyone there?"

Caitlyn knocked on the door again but nobody answered. She frowned and started slamming the door with her rifle.

"Hello? Jayce? Are you ignoring me?" she called. There was still no reply. "Jayce? Claire?"

A soft tone sounded from the door.

"Good morning, Sheriff."

Caitlyn sighed but responded politely. "Good morning to you to, Claire," she said and lowered her weapon. "I'm sorry for almost breaking the door, but do you perhaps know where Jayce is? I really got to see him."

"He has momentarily gone to Zaun, but I thought you knew that."

Caitlyn shook her head. "No, did Jayce tell you that?" Liar. Coward.

The AI was quiet before answering with a confused voice. "No... Miss Caitlyn, I told him."

"What?" She was completely shocked. "Claire, is this a bad joke?"

"No, I would never lie to you, Sheriff. I promise you that you called me. Don't you remember? Three days past."

Caitlyn recalled every minute of her last three days but couldn't remember calling Jayce a single time. Only when she was going to tell him about the... that, but he hadn't answered.

He had a busy line. "Claire, when did Jayce leave?" she wondered.

"He left some time after your call. He and Vi–"

"Vi?!"

"Yes, Vi."

"Are you completely sure?"

"Yes, Sheriff."

Caitlyn stared in aghast at the door. Someone pretended to be me and called Jayce three days ago. Shortly after, he and Vi left to Zaun. But why would someone copy me? What did he or she tell him?

And if Vi is in Zaun and has been for three days now... who the fuck was the person who helped me yesterday?

Caitlyn knew the answer before her mind could even comprehend all of the suddenly shocking information.

C. He got me.