Ghost shakes his head disapprovingly, "You got bit by a bloody dog?"
I roll my eyes, "Get over it,"
Ghost is about to scold me but is cut off by Soap, "At least it didn't get infected,"
Soap quickly wipes the last of the dried blood off my bite.
"Can you imagine if Soap was the one who got bit?" Roach begins to smother his laugh.
Soap glares at him as I chime in, "He would probably be traumatized for life,"
Roach bursts out laughing, "Oh I could imagine that!"
I just roll my eyes and go to the corner where a chair is and sit down then pull out my belt of knives and begin to clean them.
Static is on the other couch reading, we make eye contact for a moment, she quickly flits her eyes away.
We haven't really talked for the past two months, but I knew this was gong to happen, even if she wasn't with Ghost when I first got here she probably wouldn't of completely talked to me.
Roach is the person who can get me to say things that I use to say, Soap can on occasion, but other then that no one else can.
I slowly sharpen each one, hoping to clear my mind, I don't know what has gotten into me lately.
May 5th is coming up. I quickly dismiss the thought and continue to sharpen each blade,
"So do you just do this all day?" Yuri asks as he plots down on a chair next to me.
I just look at him then look back at the knife in my hands.
Yuri scratches his head, "I take that as a yes,"
Without responding I put the knife back on the belt then take out another, "It helps burn time," I say shortly.
"Why do you need to burn time?" Yuri asks curiously.
"I burn time until I have to be on another mission," I reply dryly.
Letting out a quiet sigh I put the knife away and put the belt away, I can't shake the thought, May 5th.
May 5th, I hate that day...No I can't say I hate that day, how could I say it?
"Ciara, you ok?" Soap asks sensing my mood.
"I'm fine," I say in a quiet manner as I pull out a pack of cigarettes and lighter. I quickly light one up and inhale the smoke then slowly blow it out.
"Static, can you help me make something to eat?" Yuri asks.
Static nods as she gets up, "Lets go then,"
They both trot of the room, I take a seat at the table and tap the cigarette ash into the ashtray.
"Seriously, what's the matter?" Soap asks quietly as he sits next to me.
I cut my eyes at him, "I said I was fine,"
"No you aren't," Soap said frustrated, catching Price, Ghost and Roach's attention.
"Is everything alright Soap?" Price asks as he comes over.
Soap shakes his head, "I'm fine. Alex just won't tell me what's going on,"
"Nothing is going on," I hiss out as I smother the cigarette in the ashtray.
Alex, I'm sorry but you don't have any other option. The red flashes through my eye sight as a throb of pain sears in my head.
"Really? Cause from the looks of it I find that hard to believe," Ghost chimes in.
No, No there has to be another way!
I put my hands on my hand and my elbows on the table.
"Is this about the incident?" Soap asks as he leans closely.
When he says incident I know he's talking about my rape when I was Sixteen. No this was worse, this was by far a million times worse, it was going to be May 5th.
"Incident? What incident?" Price asks curiously.
Oh god, I can't handle Price's lecture when he find out...
Soap gives me look of disbelief, "You didn't tell him?"
I shake my head as I try to make the throbbing my head stop.
"Tell us what?" Ghost asks even more curious.
"Do you want to tell them or me?" Soap asks me quietly.
I shake my head, "How about we just drop the subject altogether,"
Soap sighs, "I take it you want me to tell then,"
"Soap don't go there," I give a warning look.
Wow Alex, I knew you were really mental, but I didn't know you were a slut.
I suppressed a groan from the throbbing.
"They deserve to know," Soap argues.
Without I single thought I finally blurt it out, "How many times I was raped is none of their business neither is it yours!"
Everything turns quiet as the pain in my head begins to turn worse.
Alex words can not describe how disappointed I am with you!
I can hear them whispering, but I block it out. May 5th is what is on my mind.
Just then I hear footsteps.
"Alex," Price gives a heavy sigh, "Tell me the truth, what happened?"
I slowly get up as my hands shake, "What happened?"
My chuckle is dark and slow, "You want to know what happened?"
I look directly at them, "I was raped when I was 16. Didn't matter where I went I was never safe. I was raped when I was 17,"
I shook my head in disgust, "And you...you want to know what happened?"
Price gives a sad expression as he nods.
"Pregnancy! That's what happened!" I say with a strong voice.
The room is silenced in shock.
"May 5th! Is what happened," I shake my head as I look at the ground feeling tears threatening to come to my eyes, "She would be Seven this year. When she was born..." I trail off.
"My parent's wouldn't let me keep. They made me put her up for adoption. When it all came on the table that I had been raped they put me they gave me a therapist! They gave me anti depression pills for the depression. When they said I couldn't keep her...The day I gave her away, that night. I took the anti depression pills, hoping when I fell asleep..."
I feel a one single tear trickle down my face, "That I would never wake up again..."
{TRACKING! Ciara -Classified-}
{Searching File...}
{ACCESS DENIED!...}
{WARNING! SYSTEM SHUT DOWN!}
{TRACKING! Simon 'Ghost' Riley...}
{Searching File...}
{File Granted!...}
Raped three times, had been tortured with only god knows what methods, went through pregnancy and suicidal?
Oh. My. God. we had been together for six bloody months, and she just...She just kept this from me? I can understand the fact she wasn't proud of it and she didn't want to share it but... No secrets, that's what we agreed on!
And she kept this too herself? What can I say? I know we aren't together, but that fact that she kept it from me when we were still counts.
"That's my story! That is all of the shit I have been through and you all bloody wonder how the hell I got like this? Well now you know! Now you know my dirty secrets I've kept hidden for so long," Alex gets up from the table and exits the room.
It's quiet for a moment before we hear the door open, we see Yuri and Static come in.
"Is everything alright, Ciara left in a bit of a upset manner," Static asked curiously.
The four of us exchange looks with each other.
"She's just upset," Price says with a sigh.
I shake my head, "She's more then upset. I'm going to go talk to her,"
"Word of advice. Don't provoke her, she's already unstable as it is," Price says as I walk past Static and Yuri, "I know,"
With that I walk out and quickly jog down the hallway, I know Alex needed space, but it's been three bloody months! She's had enough space and now she needs some sort of comfort.
When I get to her door I slowly knock. Without an answer I slowly open the door to see it's empty.
I then quickly check the training room, she would always go there when she was pissed.
Low and behold there she was punching a punching bag as hard as she could making it swing around.
I slowly walk to her and say, "Alex?" I hardly have any time to dodge a punch that is aimed at my face.
She sighs as she puts her hands down, "What do you want?"
"I was just...checking to make sure you were ok," I reply as I look at the ground.
"Look I'm not a child. I don't need to be checked on every time I get update," She says harshly.
I sigh, what do I say to that?
I know Alex is avoiding what I'm really wanting to talk about, I take a step closer to her.
"Why didn't you tell me?" I ask quietly.
She looks away with a sigh, "I was already over it...I didn't want to pointlessly bring something up that I was already over,"
I take another step closer as I take her hands into mine, "It didn't cross your mind to tell me you have a Daughter?"
Alex looks away, "It never crosses my mind, it only crosses my mind on May 5th or around May 5th. I just...I just try to block it from my mind,"
It's once more silent, but I'm curious now, "What was her name?"
Alex gives a strained look as she pulls her hands away from mine and turns her back to me, "Can...Can we change the subject?"
Sighing I come from behind her and let my hands slowly slip down her arms.
"Her-her...Her name was...Rosabelle...Rosabelle Jane...I planned on calling her Belle for short,"
I don't have to see her face to know tears are threating to spill from her eyes, this is how I like her. Not weak, but showing emotion,
I still can't believe that her parent's wouldn't let her own bloody child! That's insane!
"It's a beautiful name," I say as I gently rub her arms in comfort.
She shakes her heads, "I was able to be with her for two days in the hospital. And that's when they told me I couldn't keep her. My heart, and I mean my heart completely broke,"
"She was so beautiful," She says in whisper.
I pull her into a hug, hatting to see how she's acting at the moment. She accepts the hug and pulls her arms around my neck.
"You said she was going to be Seven?" I ask softly.
"Yeah, she'll be Seven this year," Alex confirms bitterly.
I sigh as I run my fingers through her short hair. It felt great to have her here, back in my arms, where she belonged.
"Everything will be alright," I say quietly.
And it's just like that she's pushed me away from her as she shakes her head, "No, don't tell me that. Cause in the end nothing will ever be alright,"
Alex looks at the ground then turns around and walks away.
I sigh as I take a seat on the ground, she may have pushed away, but just to have her there, in my arms, lets me know that there is hope.
Not just for our relationship, but for everything else.
Wassup people?! Ok... I will admit this was really depressing chapter, and honestly I didn't know how to do it so yeah.
We finally hear Alex confess about her pass and even more then we knew, which is even more sad... So yeah...I umm, lol I'm just gonna go sit in a corner and be depressed :P
(For those of you who don't know Rosabelle was born on May 5th *Derp*)
Anyways I'm Off! As always, Stay Beautiful My Readers!
Cheers!
Sincerely, Red Dawn Shadow