A/N: I... well... I actually named the file I saved this as, as imsorry. So. I'm sorry for this. And for not writing sooner. Explanation below. Real Chapter to follow. Please forgive me?

Doctor Rapture leaned back in her chair with a sigh, peering at her computer screen, at the blank document staring at her. It was almost accusing.

You haven't written anything in days, It seemed to say.

"I know, but I have to write about the Deep Roads," She groaned, swinging a nigh-useless arm out and clumsily grabbing her mug of tea. Clutching it to herself, she breathed in the sweet, spicy aroma of hot chai tea and sighed. "Nobody likes reading about the Deep Roads, do they? I don't."

Someone might. What about them? And what are you going to do about all the other nice people who have read your story and favourited it and reviewed it? You can't stop writing.

"I wasn't going to stop writing," she whined indignantly, drawing her knees up to her chest. "I was just… you know…"

Going to skip past the Deep Roads section.

"Well… yeah. I mean, there's nothing that I really care to alter about the story canon there. And everybody has played through the game enough to know what happens in the Deep Roads. Blah blah grumpy Bartrand, blah blah tunnels, blah blah Darkspawn, find Sandal, ENCHANTMENT, more Darkspawn, spooky lyrium idol, Bartrand's a douche, Varric mad as hell, more annoying Deep Roads navigation, Profane, no I don't want your help Mister Demon, Rock Wraith Boss Battle, quick everyone hide behind the pillars, conveniently placed treasure and key right next to the exit."

It amazes me that you said that all in one breath.

"Well you shouldn't be amazed considering you're my subconscious talking to me and I'm just imagining you as my computer document because I feel marginally less psychotic that way." She replied as she began busily typing.

So you're really not going to write about the Deep Roads?

"Well there's really no room for exploring the relationship between Hawke and Fenris, which is KIND OF THE FOCUS OF THE STORY. Look, I hate the Deep Roads and I don't want to put myself through writing out what happened during the expedition cause the readers have probably played through it a dozen times already. I have nothing new or exciting to offer about the expedition. They know what they need to know already. Bartrand's a jerk. Varric is mad. Hawke doesn't take Carver so she's gonna come back and have him all butthurt and trotting off to Templarland."

You liked Templars before.

"I like Alistair and Cullen. That's not Templars in general. That's like a Templar and a half since Alistair was never actually a full-blown Templar."

What if your readers are mad?

"Well, if I was a reader I wouldn't mind not having to read through Deep Roads crap because, as we've established…. I hate the Deep Roads. If they're mad about anything it's probably that they're reading through this internal monologue instead of the actual fanfic."

You're going to publish this piece of shit?

"Yer damn right I am."