39

She tossed and turned in the big, comfortable bed. She had spent her nights with Hawke in a bed like this, but she'd never actually laid down and tried to sleep in one. She stared at the high ceiling. Hawke would be asleep, in the room right above her. I wonder if she still sleeps naked…

Isabela stood. She didn't know what she was going to do, but she couldn't stay lying in this bed. She crept out of the guest bedroom, and padded towards the stairs.

"You can't sleep?" the familiar, accented voice rang out. She turned and saw Hawke sitting by the fire, in a thinly strapped black nightgown.

"No. I was just… getting up for a glass of water. You?"

Hawke stared at the fire. "I can't protect you very well when my eyes are closed."

Isabela put her hands on her hips. "I am not some Orlesian wallflower who's never held a blade before. I am very capable of defending myself, Hawke. Stop being a goose and go and get some sleep."

Hawke shook her head. "No. My track record is not... ideal. Bethany, my mother... I will never let anybody down like that again. You're under my protection, and I won't rest until Castillion is dead."

Isabela eyed Hawke off dubiously, but said no more on the subject. "I wanted to thank you, Hawke, for helping me. You've always been good to me, and I often haven't deserved it. I suppose I've been a pretty terrible friend since I came back."

Hawke shrugged. "We were never friends, Isabela. We were always fighting, and then we were… something more, whatever that was. And then you were gone. You don't know how to be friends with me, and I don't know how to be friends with you. It will be a learning curve for the both of us."

Isabela nodded. "What I said that night, after I tried to kiss you…"

Hawke put her hand up for silence. "Don't worry, Isabela, you didn't get under my skin. I know my worth. Besides, we've both said some unfortunate things. It's been… confusing. But enough about that. Follow me. I'll get you that glass of water."

Isabela followed Hawke into the kitchen, where Hawke rummaged around in a cupboard for a moment, before handing Isabela a glass of whiskey.

Isabela laughed. "You know me too well, Hawke" she said, leaning against the bench and taking a long sip.

"I used to," Hawke said quietly.

Isabela looked over at the mage, who was leaning against the opposite bench. "I've never had anybody like you in my life before. You've always had my back."

Hawke shrugged. "You've made it incredibly difficult, but I have tried to. I'm glad you can at least see that."

Isabela swallowed hard. "What you did for me that day, with the Arishok… Nobody's ever stood up for me like that. You saved my life. I've never even thanked you for it."

Hawke shifted uncomfortably. "Yeah, well, you saved my life that day, too."

Isabela laughed at Hawke's jest, until she saw the mage's serious expression. "You do realise you were nearly killed because of me?"

Hawke nodded. "Nearly. He had me by the throat, and I felt the blackness closing in on me. But then I looked up, and I saw your face. I thought, for a minute, that I had something to fight for..."

Isabela looked at her feet. She remembered the moment. She'd always thought she'd imagined it. She raised her eyes and found Hawke's gaze upon her, and the look that passed between them seemed to last an eternity.

Without a word, Hawke stepped forward, knocking the glass of whiskey out of Isabela's hands and letting it shatter on the floor below. She grabbed both sides of Isabela's face and pushed her against the bench, pressing their mouths together, hard. Isabela parted her lips as Hawke's tongue entered her mouth. Hawke kissed her desperately, putting three years of pent up emotion into the action.

She picked Isabela up and sat her on the bench, standing between the pirate's open legs. Isabela put her hands on the back of Hawke's neck, holding the younger woman close, completely submitting to her lover for the first time. Hawke ran her hand up Isabela's thigh and under her tunic. She slipped her hand into the pirate's undergarments, and her fingers found Isabela wet and waiting. Her index finger instantly found that inner spot in a way that only a woman can, while her thumb stimulated Isabela's external pleasure point. Isabela ground her hips and wrapped her legs around Hawke's waist, as the mage's fingers continued their ministrations. Hawke remembered the way that Isabela liked to be pleased with stunning clarity.

Isabela dragged her nails across the exposed skin of Hawke's shoulders, as Hawke's pace quickened. Hawke bit Isabela's lip sharply, and Isabela broke away with a gasp. Hawke grabbed a handful of her hair and pulled her head back, kissing and sucking the exposed flesh of Isabela's revealing neckline. Isabela arched her back and felt her legs shake as she gave her throaty moan of pleasure.

Hawke gently stroked as Isabela's body convulsed with the aftershocks. Isabela struggled to regain her breath, while Hawke leaned her head on Isabela's left breast for a moment, listening to the pirate's pounding heart. Then she removed her hand from Isabela's undergarments, and stood back.

Isabela had never seen the mage look so ashamed of herself.

"Maker's breath… What's wrong with me? I swore this wouldn't happen. Just… get out of here, Isabela."

"Hawke…" Isabela started, reaching out for her hands, but Hawke took another step back.

"You've had your drink and your… release. As I recall, that's all that matters to you. You should sleep like a baby."

"Don't get angry with me, Hawke, you started that!"

"I know I did. And I already regret it. Let's not complicate things any further. Please just, go to bed."

Isabela bit her lower lip and nodded.