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Chapter Nine: Dreams Come True

InuYasha lay in bed, staring at the ceiling, feeling an odd sense of deja vu. He rolled onto his side, tucking his hands under his hands under his pillow. He squeezed his eyes shut, trying to shake the feeling. It wouldn't go away.

Stubborn.

His thoughts shift to Kagome and he sits up, sighing, covering his face in his hands. Well, fuck. He dropped one hand to his lap as the other dragged over his face.

A familiar scent tickled his nose. Kagome? He fought the urge to feel excited at her unsolicited visit, especially after all that he had put her through. The beat of his heart increased while he cursed himself for a fool. His ears perked when her footsteps came into focus. They seemed to echo more than he remembered they should. He shrugged it off.

InuYasha hopped lithely off the bed and moved towards the door. She's right outside the door now. His heart was hammering in his chest. He wanted nothing more than to throw the door open and drag her into his arms. To whisper apologies into her skin as he covered her with kisses.

But he had to be sure.

To be sure that that was what she wanted.

That she could trust him.

Knock, knock

He took a steadying breath before he pulled open the door.

Kagome collapsed into his arms, gasping for air, and blue faced.

"Kagome?!" His knees hit the ground, cradling her body in his arms protectively.

Her hands reached for the front of his night shirt, balling the material in her tiny fists. Her lips moved but he couldn't make out what she was saying.

He tried to sit her up. Tried to hit her on the back. Tried to help her breathe. But she was all dead weight and death grip on him.

"It's -all y-your fault-"

InuYasha watched, dumbfounded as her once fair white skin stained dark purple. "What are you talking about?"

Her blood shot eyes rolled into the back of her eyes, her body convulsing. InuYasha could only watch in horror, unable to even lift her off the ground. His vision blurred around the edges and he realized he was crying.

She stilled suddenly, body tensing into a stiff arch, then fell limp, hands dropping away from him.

"Kagome..." He reached out a hand to cup the back of her neck and felt his fingers slip through what he thought felt like sand. His eyes widened as her body dissolved in his hands, turning to ash and smoke.

"-Yasha."

He huddled over the pile of ashes in his lap and on the floor, cupping them with quivering hands.

It's all my fault... Kagome's dead and it's all my fault.

"InuYasha, wake up!"

InuYasha's eyes opened, still wet with tears. Miroku was standing over him, eyebrows drawn in concern.

InuYasha sat up, eyes darting around the room. No ashes on the floor? He sagged with relief, running his hands through his sweat soaked hair. "It was just a dream."

InuYasha felt the bed shift beside him and turned to see Miroku glaring at him.

"You need to talk to her."

InuYasha glared back at him. "Weren't you there when I told your busybody wife that I would ask for your opinion when I wanted it?" It was a struggle to keep up the glare while simultaneously fighting the urge to run and check on Kagome.

To make sure she was okay.

To make sure she was alive.

He knew in the back of his mind that she was. That he'd been having this recurring nightmare since the incident. But it didn't stop the ache or the worry.

Miroku crossed his arms over his chest and glared harder. "You're being a petulant child. Kagome is miserable. You're guilt is literally eating you up from the inside. It's been two weeks already. If you keep this up-"

InuYasha sighed and flung the covers off. His whole body was covered in sweat. His head ached. The room felt too warm. He glanced at the fireplace to see the blaze had long since been extinguished. He swung his feet over the edge of the bed and stood up, watching as his room twisted and shifted before his eyes. His knees buckled and he found himself sitting on the bed again.

"InuYasha!" A cool hand was on his forehead in an instant. It withdrew almost as quickly. "You're burning up."

InuYasha gave a defiant feh before standing back up and this time his vision went black.

~Kagome~

Kagome sat at the dinning room table, enjoying a lively breakfast with Shippou and Grandfather. Shippou performed one of his fox magic techniques, the one with the spinning top, and Kaede looked on in horror as it spun on the table, running over plates of food and crashing into glasses. Shippou ran after it, trying to stop it, but only succeeding in making an even bigger mess.

Kagome laughed before plucking the red headed child from the table and nuzzling her cheek against his. His little arms wrapped around neck, hugging her tightly, letting out an adorable giggle.

"Lady Kaede, where did you move the medicinal herbs?" Miroku asked, bursting into the dinning room.

"Miroku what's the matter?" Kagome asked, rising from her chair to follow Miroku and Kaede into the kitchen, her arms tightening around Shippou's small body.

"It's Master InuYasha, he has a high fever," Miroku said, throwing open the doors to the medicine cabinet. He eyes the herbs, picking one up and shaking his head setting it back down.

"Are there any other symptoms? Chills? Head pain? Vomiting?" Kagome set Shippou down and gently pushed the monk to the side. She took in all the herbs in the cabinet.

"Just a headache and nightmares. Unless being a petulant child counts as a symptom."

Kagome smiled at Miroku's attempt at a joke before plucking several herbs from the cabinet.

"No, I believe that is just InuYasha. Could you set the kettle to boil?" She grabbed a mortar and pestle and made quick work of grinding the herbs. Once the water came to a boil, she poured it over the herbs in a make shift sieve made from a napkin set over a cup.

"I'll take this up to him."

Kagome stood outside the door, knuckles hovering a short distance from the wood. Alright, Kagome, you can do this. She sucked in a deep breath before letting her knuckles connect with the door. "InuYasha, it's Kagome. Can I come in?"

She waited a few moments, listening closely for a response but none came. Steeling herself, she pushed open the door and entered InuYasha's bedroom. It feels as if I haven't seen this room in forever.She closed the door behind her as softly as she could manage with one hand. Her eyes wandered around the room, trying to commit it all to memory.

The walls were covered in a deep red wallpaper, with a darker red filigree. The floors were the same dark wood from throughout the rest of the castle. The fireplace was the same dark wood as the floors, the mantle sprawling its delicate carvings to the ceiling. In the hearth roared a blazing fire, crackling and popping as it burned away the last of the kindling. The couches surrounding the fireplace were bathed in the soft glow of the fire. The fabric was a light beige with the same filigree pattern as the walls. Across the room the curtains were drawn over the balcony doors. Her eyes finally landed on the bed... InuYasha...

Her heart ached in her chest. InuYasha lay in the bed, glistening in the firelight. Kagome tiptoed to the bed and sat on the edge next him. His brows were drawn tightly together, mouth set in a tight grimace.

"InuYasha take this, it will help with your fever," Kagome said, tucking her free hand under his neck. He groaned, lifting his head at her urging and sipped from the cup. Once he was finished, she lowered his head back onto the pillow. He's sweating too much. Her brows knit together in worry. She set the cup on the nightstand beside the bed and reached over to feel his forehead. "You're burning up."

"Don't tell Kagome..." he mumbled, grabbing her wrist. "She'll just worry like an idiot."

He's so out of it. "Why would that be such a bad thing? It just shows how much she cares."

He took in a deep breath. "Because it's all my fault and I don't want her getting involved."

Kagome felt at a loss for words. His fault? What could possibly be his fault? Finally finding her voice, Kagome voiced her question. "What is your fault?"

InuYasha drew an arm over his face, covering his eyes. "Everything..."

"That's not an answer."

He released his grip on her wrist and drew his other arm up to his face. "But it's true everything is my fault... She was almost killed because of me."

"How is that your fault?"

"It's not like she was being attacked before she came here. I'm the only change in her life."

"InuYasha, no. You can't think like that. She doesn't think it was your fault does she?" Kagome could feel tears starting to sting her eyes. "Do you think she would still be here if she did?" She wiped her eyes with the back of her hands.

He lay there silent.

"Believe me, this was not your fault. I mean, could you imagine what would have happened to her if you hadn't saved her?"

"Would she have even needed saving if I weren't here? Even her grandfather isn't safe from me... Hell, both of them were attacked on my own front lawn. If that's not proof enough, I don't know what is." He rolled over onto his side, facing away from her.

I had no idea he was holding himself accountable for all of this. No wonder he was trying to push me away: he thought he was keeping me safe. What an idiot. She lay down next to him, pressing her forehead into the space between his shoulder blades, and wrapping her arms around his middle. "InuYasha, I could never blame you. None of this is your fault."

He chuckled deep in his chest. "I must be dreaming one sick, twisted fantasy right now. But at least its better than the nightmares."

"Nightmares?" She tightened her grip around him. "What nightmares?"

"The one's where that night happens again." His hand grips her arm. "Except you always die. Every time. And you always say the same thing... That its my fault you're dying. And you're right. It is my fault. Every damn night, it's my fault, over and over again."

Kagome felt bile rising in the back of her throat. "How long have you been having these nightmares?"

"Since that night... No, that same night."He drew in a shaky breath and ran his hand up and down her arm. "I've been watching you die every night, sometimes more than once, since the moment I saved you. I'm starting to wonder which is reality and which is the dream."

Kagome could tell that in his feverish state, there was no reasoning with him. To be honest, it was probably going to be just as hard if not harder to convince him once he was better. She nuzzled her cheek against his back. "Go to sleep. Rest will help."

His breathing evened out after a while and he fell asleep, Kagome following soon after.

Sango and Miroku sat in the sitting room watching Shippou chase Grandfather around. Kaede laughed watching the two.

"Do you think Kagome and InuYasha are going to be okay?" Sango asked, resting her head against her husbands shoulder. Shippou jumped in their laps all of a sudden.

"What's wrong with Kagome and InuYasha?" he asked staring up at them both with wide eyes.

Miroku smiled down at him. "I'll tell you when you're older." Shippou pouted. "I do have a feeling that they are going to be just fine."

Grandfather stood in front of them panting, with his hands on his knees. "Whew, they better be! Can't go losing my beautiful grandson-in-law before he even marries my dear Kagome." He let a throaty chuckle.

Miroku smiled at the old man. "Now that's the kind of thinking I like to hear."

Kagome's eyes opened, blinking to adjust to the dim lighting in the room.

"Am I still dreaming?"

Kagome felt fingers gingerly tracing lines on her face and over her hair.

"I must be, right? You can't really be here."

Kagome blinked a few more times, still trying to get her eyes adjusted. She could just barely make out the outline of InuYasha's head in the darkness. She reached out a hand, pressing the back of it against his forehead. His fever is almost completely gone. She sighed in relief and cupped his hands on her cheeks.

"You are very much awake and very much in trouble," she said, wrapping her arms around his middle. "Don't you ever scare me like that again. We made a promise, remember? I don't know about you but I make a habit of keeping my promises."

InuYasha let out a gusty sigh that ruffled the hair on the top of her head. He wrapped his arms around her, one hand cradling the back of her head. "I just wanted to protect you, but all I did was make you hurt even worse." He stroked her hair and kissed the top of her head. "Will you ever be able to forgive me?"

Kagome scooted closer to his body heat. "Hmmm, I think I could find it in my heart to forgive you this once... But you have to learn to talk to me. I'm a big girl. I should be included in making decisions that pertain to my life."

"You're right, I promise."

"You also need to realize that the curse that was place on me was not your fault."

InuYasha opened his mouth to speak.

"It's not up for negotiation."

"Whatever you say." InuYasha pulled back to look into her eyes.

Kagome craned her neck up to place a kiss on his lips.

Kagome sat on a stool in front of the vanity in her room, watching Sango's reflection in the mirror. Sango was humming a happy tune, smiling softly while she brushed Kagome's hair and began twisting it into an intricate design. Kagome shifted uncomfortably on the stool, still not used to having people do things for her. Especially not someone she considered her friend.

"Why are you doing all this?" Kagome asked wincing as Sango started pushing pins into her hair. Sango herself was dressed in a rather large ball gown with her hair done up.

"We've been over this already, Kagome," Sango met her eyes in the mirror. "It's a secret."

Kagome chewed her lip.

"There!" Sango said, jamming one last pin into her hair. "All done."

Kagome sighed.

"Now it's time to get dressed!"

Kagome's eyes widened as she was pulled off the stool and stripped of her robe, leaving her in her underclothes. She grabbed onto the bed post when Sango looped the corset around her middle and began tightening the ties. Kagome winced. "Isn't this a bit tighter than usual?"

"The tighter the better today," Sango grunted out as tugged the strings tighter all the way up her back. She tied of the corset and pulled a dress out of the wardrobe. Kagome didn't even have a chance to see the dress before Sango flung it over her head.

"Sango!" Kagome squealed, worming her arms into the sleeves and sticking her head through the neck hole. She attempted to turn and look at herself in the mirror and was whacked lightly on the arm by Sango. Kagome sighed and held onto the bed post again while Sango laced up the dress. Glancing down at the skirt, Kagome was at least able to see the color of the garment: bright sunshine yellow. The color made her smile. It reminds me of the flowers that grew in the summer outside of my house as a child.

Kagome had fond memories of playing with her little brother Souta, picking bouquets of yellow flowers and taking them back to Mamma. Picnics in the field of yellow flowers, Souta climbing on Papa's back and Kagome laying down with Mamma pick out shapes in the clouds.

Grandfather buried them under that field of flowers when he came to take her away.

It made Kagome happy to know that they were kept company by the flowers.

"Kagome?"

Kagome turned to Sango. She had a worried look on her face. "Are you okay? I called your name a few times and you weren't responding."

Kagome smiled at her friend, once again reveling in the feeling of having someone close who worries. Someone other than family. "I'm fine. I was just thinking about my family." Sango ushered her to stand in front of the mirror. "You've never told me about them, other than the fact that they were killed by a group of bandits."

Kagome took a moment to look over her reflection. The dress was magnificent: shining yellow satin with pickups in the skirt which she just realized were set with fabric flowers that looked similar to the flowers from her memory. The neckline was draped gauzy material of the same color, forming a thin band around her shoulders and dipping down into a peak just above her breasts where another fabric flower was fastened.

"My Mama was the nicest person; she was a teacher of sorts: she taught all of the villagers how to read and write. Every night, before the children in the village would go to bed, they would all come to our house and crowd around Mamma while she read bedtime stories.

"Papa was strong and smart. He had just become the village leader before… He was always smiling. Always going out of his way to help anyone, whether they wanted help or not. He loved Mamma so much. I never really noticed it as a child, but looking back on my memories as an adult, they were so much in love.

"My little brother, Souta, was the cutest little baby and the most annoying toddler. He would follow me around, copying everything I did and if I told him to go away, he would run crying to Mamma and Papa saying I hurt him somehow. He was so little.

"I don't actually remember much from the night they died," Kagome said, sighing. "Maybe it's better that way. I try not to think about it too much. When I do, my head starts to hurt."

Sango put a hand on her shoulder. "Maybe it is better that don't remember."

"I do wonder sometimes whether they would be proud of the way I grew up; of the woman that I've become."

Sango wrapped her arms around her. "You are a wonderful woman. You're beautiful inside and out. You've completely changed InuYasha and only a miracle worker could do that."

Kagome smiled, hugging her friend back. "So you're still not going to tell me what we're all dressed up for?"

Sango lead Kagome through the castle to a wing she hadn't explored yet. They reached the end of the hall where a set of double doors stood. Kagome raised a brow at her friend, still unsure of what was going on. Sango winked at her before pushing the doors open.

"Surprise!" a chorus of voices called out as the doors swung open.

Kagome had never seen one room filled with so many people before. And these were all people she knew from living in the castle: Miroku, Shippou, Kaede, Totosai the swordsmith, Hojo… InuYasha stood at the base of the large staircase that leads down into the massive ballroom, one hand tucked behind his back, the other extended, waiting for her.

Kagome began her descent down the staircase, smiling from ear to ear. InuYasha's eyes were stuck on her. Staring at her. She almost thought it looked like the way her Papa used to look at her Mamma.

That set her heart racing.