Chapter One: Rebirth

Dear Diary,

I finally remember who I am. The memories of the other me, the older me, are so shocking, and yet are so tantalizing at the same time. I sometimes just look outside, see the sky, and make a connection to the past that makes me laugh. Sometimes I even shed a few tears. The familiar ache of loneliness has settled on my shoulders once again. Even though I do enjoy these memories I am released that I have finally reached the end of my memories.

That was a different life, literally. I even look different in this life. Rather than the brown hair that never laid flat I have blond hair that never sticks up. The first time I actually saw myself in a mirror I almost fell back in shock. The only feature that remains the same are my brown eyes. Clearly I am, as I was, a mixed-race child. This would probably explain why my new family is so cold to me.

My mother is so very different from Kaa-chan. It is almost an insult to Kaa-chan to call them the same race, never mind the same gender. She doesn't care about me at all. She and her parents always look at me like I am a monster. He, my grandfather, always calls me demon child and bad blood. My grandmother doesn't even acknowledge me. Whenever I sit at the kitchen table she always manages to forget to set out a place for me. As cold shoulders go I do believe that hers is the coldest.

Yet, I can't blame them. From what I gathered mother ran away from the house one night because of an argument between herself and grandfather. That one night she, in rage, seduced a foreigner and lost her virginity to him. She hadn't even cared about it. All she had wanted to do was be reckless. A week or so later she went back to the house, deeply regretful and welcomed back with opened arms. Unfortunately it wasn't until a few months later that they realized she was pregnant.

It was kind of them not to have her abort me. Really they are good people. Just not to me. I don't think it helps that I, only a year old, do not act like a child should. I do not exhibit the normal range of emotions and reactions of a toddler. Then again it is kind of hard to do so when you remember life in your seventies.

The only one who shows an inkling of kindness toward me is my Uncle Keichi. I guess it's because I don't bother him when he is working on homework. He is currently a college student aiming for a Masters in Physics. I can only wish him luck.

Currently, mother and the grandparents are having a discussion downstairs right now. I know it is about me. Grandfather has said demon child three times now. If it is going along the same tangent it general does they are arguing on what to do with me. They've been like this ever since I could remember.

Being back in a child's body is strange. I don't really remember everything of my past life's childhood…the part where I was still a baby. The one memory that sticks is the one where my no-good father and mama were swinging me together. It makes me sad that it can never happen with this family. Maybe, if I find my biological father it can happen. I'm not placing any bets though.

I will say something about being in the body of a child though. You get tired damned fast.

Night,

Mochida Tsunashige

And yes, imagine my shock when I realized that I'm a relative of Mochida-kun. I wonder how he would have taken that back in my previous life.

Tsunashige smiled as he closed the notebook and stuffed it back into his pillowcase. His smiled disappeared when a loud crash came from downstairs. With his body tense Tsunashige pulled back his blanket and, wobbling slightly, lifted himself to look through the cradle bars. Closing his eyes he listened very carefully at the words that drifted through the partially cracked door.

"I don't want that demon child in my house any longer! Haruka you are going to send him to the adoption agency tomorrow!" The harsh voice of the elderly man cracked like a whip.

"Do you think I want him?" his mother's voice was shrill, "But what would the neighbors think if he suddenly disappeared?"

"She is right dear," Grandmother's cool voice was barely audible, but it was audible "what we need to do is find a unnoticeable way to get rid of that…Thing."

"The Private Investigator has almost tracked down the whereabouts of the father. Just hold on for a few more days. A few weeks at most!" Uncle Keichi's voice was strained.

It sort of hurt that they wanted to get rid of me. But, before my child-like emotions could cause my tear glands to fill, my years of experience kicked in. Of course they would want me gone. This was a household of four with only one person holding a steady job. With me here no man would be willing to marry mother. It would be understandable for a twenty-some year old female to be without her virginity and maybe to have a son; but a teenager just brushing away her seventeenth birthday? And especially with a child who obviously has foreign blood? They would construe that she was a slut. The whole family would be shamed. Heck, the neighbors didn't talk much because I was angelic to them and didn't see them much anyways. But they did talk and they did give narrowed glances.

"If that private investigator doesn't find him soon then we are going to send him away!" Grandfather hissed.

"Agreed!" mother's quick agreement filled me with sadness. I had seen the few times she smiled and laughed. She was beautiful and could be kind. It was only on the subject of me when all that was negative in her showed through.

"Fine." Uncle Keichi's reluctance was clear in his voice. But what could he do? I was a child and they were his family. They outweighed me.

"Now then shall we have some watermelon on the porch?" Grandmother's voice became animated and filled with good cheer, "The market had a wonderful deal on watermelon today and I know how much you love watermelon!"

"I've got homework." Uncle Keichi said, "Send some up for me?"

"Of course, dear."

I sat down as I listened to Uncle Keichi's footsteps climb the stairs and make their way down the hall. I watched his shadow pause near my door before he pushed it open and looked at me.

"You heard?"

I nodded. I tried to smile. I think it turned into a type of grimace.

"If you can't find papa then I go bye-bye." My child's voice was squeaky and sad.

Uncle Keichi came in and ruffled my hair.

"Sorry kid." His grimace answered mine, "But the P.I. I hired is good. If he can't find your old man then no one can."

I just looked at him.

"Where's he looking?"

"England and America mainly." Uncle Keichi shrugged, "I think he also said he would be looking around the rest of Europe."

"Tell him to try Italy." I suggested with my eyes far away as I thought about my dead-beat of a father, in my past life. Who knows? Maybe I would get lucky and get someone who was connected with the mafia?

Uncle Keichi's hand paused.

"What do you see when your eyes look like that?" His question was shaky. And I could detect a trace of fear in the question. I turned my gaze back to him.

"A past life." I gave a small chuckle. He snatched his hand away.

"Don't do that Tsunashige!" He snapped, sounding a lot like grandfather. I blinked in surprise.

"Sorry." I looked down.

"Damn it Tsunashige. This is the reason they don't want you around. You creep them out. You sometimes seriously creep me out too!" Uncle Keichi ran his hand, the one that hadn't been touching me, through his black hair.

"I can't help it." I whispered.

"Go to sleep." Uncle Keichi sighed.

"Tuck me in?" I asked in my most childish voice.

He gave me a shaky smile, but a real smile this time.

"Sure kid." I laid down as he pulled up my blanket.

"Good night Uncle Keichi."

"Good night kid."

I closed my eyes and kept them closed when Uncle Keichi left my room. I only opened them again when I heard my door click shut.

"Dannazione Byakuran! Faresti meglio a tirarmi fuori da questo pasticcio e presto!" I hissed in Italian before I closed my eyes again and actually slept.