A/N: This story has no Beta. All spelling errors and mistakes are my own.

Thanks for love guys!

Edward POV

Where was she? Why wasn't she here?
You've probably scared her off.
I shook my head, leaning against my locker. No. I didn't believe that. She could stand up to me. I saw it yesterday. And it was fucking refreshing.
"Hey." Jane snuggled against my chest and smiled.
"Hi." I mumbled, "Don't you have practice?"
She shook her head, "No. Coach Clapp cancelled. Hospital appointment or something." She sucked on a lollipop and twirled her blond hair.
I nodded, pushing myself off the locker.
"What's wrong?" Jane pouted, holding onto my arm. Her touch was starting to make my skin crawl.
"Nothing." I pulled my arm free and sighed, "I just want to be left alone today, okay?"
"Fine." She sighed, backing away from me, "I'll see you at lunch, I guess." She turned on her heel and skipped off to her cheerleader friends.
What did I see in her? Nothing. Sweet fuck all. She was merely a distraction. And not a welcome one at that.
I stuffed my hands into my pockets and stalked off outside. Fresh air. I spotted Jasper and Alice sitting on one of the nearby benches.
"Where's the new girl?" I asked, walking toward them.
Alice shrugged, "She hasn't been in all day."
I sighed, pulling my cigarettes out of my leather jacket, "Right."
Jasper smirked, watching me, "You know, you really should try and quit. Do you know what that stuff does to your lungs?"
I snorted, lighting my smoke, "Do you know that I don't care?" I retorted, taking a draw.
Jasper sighed, "Whatever, man. Don't come crying to me when you get sick."
I sat on the bench, sitting across from them, "Do you think Bella will be in at lunch?"
Alice gave me a curious look, "I don't know. I hope everything is okay, though." She mumbled, "Did you know her father has Cancer?" She turned to Jasper and sighed, "She told the class yesterday. It was so sad. That's why she's here. Her dad needed better treatment."
Jasper shook his head, pulling Alice closer to him, "That sucks."
I swallowed back bile. How could I have been so reckless? How could I justify the words I said?
I couldn't. I couldn't take it back. And it fucking killed me.
I tried to catch her after Biology to apologise but she rushed out, I couldn't keep up with her.
She wasn't here today, which sucked. I wanted to grovel, beg her to forgive me. She didn't need me talking shit to her, not with everything she had going on.
I shouldn't have been talking shit to her anyway. I should have been overjoyed she was here.
You love her.
Is it possible to fall in love with someone you only spent four weeks with?
My heart twinged. Yes, it was. And I did. I fucking loved her.

I decided to ditch the rest of the day. I couldn't deal with my guilt. I had to wallow.
Asshole.
I growled at my reflection in the rear view mirror. Yes, I was an asshole. Yes, I was selfish for wanting to drown myself in my own guilt. Tomorrow will be better. I'll apologise to her, I'll make it right.
I parked outside my house and leaned my forehead against the steering wheel, praying no one was home.
My dad constantly worked, and my mom was constantly socialising. Perfect little family.
I dragged myself out of my car, slammed the door and stormed into the house.
"Anyone home?" I shouted, making a start toward the kitchen. No answer.
I opened the fridge and scowled. Didn't anyone go shopping in this house? A glance at the clock told me it was just after one in the afternoon.
I pulled out my phone, scrolling through my contacts until I found who I was looking for. I needed to relax. Calm myself down. Find away to get rid of my guilt and anger.
I pressed call, put the phone to my ear and took a deep breath.
"Hey man." I mumbled, "Can we meet?"

I drove to whole foods, figuring I could do some food shopping as well as meet him. I parked my car and stepped out, putting my sunglasses on. The sun was higher than usual, the heat almost too much. I spotted him, sitting in his Audi R8. Dickhead.
He rolled down his window and smirked, "Hey."
"You got it?" I asked, leaning down.
He nodded, "Yup. This shit was hard to get, Cullen." He gave me a pointed look and sighed, "I'm not comfortable getting this stuff. This is the one and only time, okay? You're too young to be getting mixed up with this shit."
I nodded, "Yeah, yeah."
He extended his hand, dropping the bag into mine. I handed him the money and smirked, "Thanks, Jake. I owe you."
He nodded and started his engine, "Yeah, you do."
I pushed off the car and pocketed the bag, before walking into Whole Foods.

I sat at the kitchen island, picking at my sandwich when my mother walked in.
"Oh hi, sweetie." She closed the door, walking into the kitchen. Her heels clicked against the floor. She placed her bag down on the seat next to me, "You're home early."
I shrugged, "Didn't feel like staying in school."
"You ditched?" She sighed, grabbing a wine glass from the cupboard, "Edward, this has got to stop."
I scoffed, standing up, "I didn't feel like staying, okay? What's the big deal?" I threw my untouched sandwich in the bin and turned to leave.
"Where are you going?" My mother asked.
I turned to see her pouring herself a large glass of wine. I raised a brow, "To my room. Try and not get too drunk."
I stormed up the stairs, slamming the door to my bedroom. Fucking typical. My mother always did the same thing when she came home. Drank herself sober. My dad hid out in his study, doing 'paperwork'. Perfect little family. They never spent any time with me and Emmett. Not that I wanted it. But it would be nice to be considered.
I put my hand in my pocket, lifting out the bag Jake had gave me. I stared at it, contemplating my next move.
Don't do it, Cullen.
I wanted to listen to myself, I want to flush it down the toilet. But part of me wanted to feeling nothing for a couple of hours.
Fuck it. I popped a pill and lay down, waiting for it to effect me.
A sharp knock on my door caused me to bolt up, "What?" I hissed.
The door opened, and my father stood arms crossed, "Your mother told me you ditched school today, Edward." He shook his head, "Why?"
I lay back down and sighed, "I wasn't feeling it. I wanted to leave, so I did. It's not a big deal." I muttered. Couldn't he just fuck off and let me enjoy my building high?
"How do you expect to get anywhere in life if you just skip school? Huh?" He snapped.
"Leave me alone."
My father stormed into the room, towering over me, "Where has this attitude came from?!" He growled, "You will go to school tomorrow, speak to your teachers and get the work you missed today. Got it?"
I rolled my eyes, "Fine. Whatever." Anything to keep the peace.
My dad took a deep breath, relaxing slightly, "Good. Dinner will be ready soon."
I sat up, "You're having dinner with us?" I asked dubiously.
He nodded, "Yes. I managed to get away earlier. I'm home for the night." He turned to the door, "I'll get Emmett to let you know when it's ready." He shut the door behind him.
I stared at the door after him. That was a first. He was actually going to be home for dinner.
What the fuck happened? This was unusual.

I stood, opened my window and took a deep breath. My skin was starting to itch. Leaning against the wall, I drew in a deep shaky breath. If anything, I was feeling more remorse for my actions. I swallowed the lump in my throat, "Fucking idiot." I whispered.
I rubbed my eyes, and sighed. My thoughts taking me back to that day where everything went tits up.

"I wish I didn't have to go." Bella whispered, leaning her forehead against mine. I lifted her chin, so I could look into her beautiful brown eyes and kissed her gently. She grabbed my collar, pulling me closer, filling the empty space.
"We'll see each other again." I whispered against her lips.
She drew in a shaky breath and nodded, "Yeah."
I pulled her to my chest and kissed the top of her head, "I can't do long distance, Bella."
She nuzzled into my neck and sighed, "I know. We're just gonna have to learn how to forget each other."
I pulled back, staring at her, "You want to forget me?"
She stared down at the sand, chewing on her bottom lip, "No…I just…"
I tilted her head and smirked, "Tell me."
"I just…it's gonna be hard. You can't do long distance so, this is it. This is us over."
I closed my eyes, taking a deep calming breath, "I guess it is."
This wasn't how I wanted to say goodbye. This is not how I wanted my summer with her to end. If I had my way, she would never leave.
"Let's make a deal then." I suggested, taking her hand, "We don't contact each other. No phone calls, no texts. We go back to living our lives and if you were to come back to Phoenix, we'll see each other again." I kissed her knuckles gently, waiting patiently for her response.
"What happens if either one of us breaks this deal?" She mumbled, staring out toward the ocean.
"We won't."
"You sound so sure of that." She smiled sadly.
I chuckled, "Bella, you're going back home. You'll meet someone who can be with you, who you can see every day. Someone who…" I swallowed the lump in my throat and looked away, "Someone who will love you."

I stared at my mother's chicken pot pie and scowled. I wasn't even remotely hungry. I stabbed at it, breaking the pastry.
"Are you okay, son?" My father asked, taking a drink of his wine.
I nodded, "Yeah, just not that hungry."
My mother huffed and put down her fork, "You don't have to eat it, if you don't want to, Edward."
I glanced over at her, "No. I will." I stabbed a carrot with my fork and shoved it into my mouth, chewing slowly.
Emmett cleared his throat, "I'm going out with Rosalie again tonight."
I rolled my eyes, "Why?"
Emmett narrowed his eyes, "Because she's my girlfriend and I want to see her."
I scoffed, "Yeah, whatever."
My mother sighed deeply, looking over at my dad, "How was your day?"
My dad smiled, "It was good. I finally managed to schedule a surgery for next Monday."
My mother straightened up, "Oh. Well that's good. Is it for that patient who was brought in today?"
My father nodded, "Yes. I thought the worst when he came in. But he is doing okay now."
"Who is it?" I found myself asking. Curiosity always got the better of me.
"You know I can't give out that information, Edward." My dad sighed, taking another drink of his wine.
"Sorry." I mumbled, eating some more carrots.
I pushed my plate away, my food barely touched, "I'm going for a shower." I stood up.
"Edward, you haven't been excused yet." My mother hissed, sitting her cutlery down on her plate.
I turned slowly, glaring at her, "Can I be excused?"
My mother opened her mouth to speak but my dad cut her off, "Go." He shook his head and glared at his plate.
He was angry, I could tell.
I made my way up to my room and collapsed onto my bed. The pills Jake gave me barely fucking touched me. All they did was give me a rash and a headache. I was beginning to wonder if he gave me a placebo.
Asshole.
I buried my face in my pillow and groaned loudly, this had seriously been the worst day ever.

She wasn't in again. I stood at my locker, waiting until the final warning bell rang, waiting for her to show up. She didn't.
I stormed into Trig, slamming my books onto the table, causing Emmett to jump.
"What the fuck, dude?"
I narrowed my eyes at him as I sat down, "Shut up." I was angry. Angry because she wasn't here. Angry because I couldn't apologise.
You could always call her. I snorted at myself, yeah, like she would answer.
I opened my notebook and sighed, doodling on the pages.
Mr. Varner walked up and down the classroom, eyeing everyone's work. He irritated the shit out of me.
Emmett sighed beside me and turned the pages of his book. The class was too quiet and I hated it.
I leaned back in my seat and stared up at the ceiling, counting the tiles.
"Is there a problem, Mr Cullen?" Mr. Varner sneered.
I shook my head, "Nope. No problem." I picked my pen up and started doodling again. I hated this class.
The class dragged in, and of course I spent my time staring out of the window or drawing intricate patterns on my paper.
Emmett stood, stuffing his books in his bag, "I'll see you at lunch, bro." He grinned.
I groaned, dragging my feet to the door. I didn't want to go to gym.
Instead, I made my way to the library.
That's when I spotted her, rubbing her eyes.
I looked over her shoulder and smirked when I saw what she was trying to read. My stomach was doing backflips. She did come to school. This was my chance.
Bella shut her book and pushed it away from here.
"Hamlet's shit anyway." I mumbled, walking round the table. I took the seat across from her and smiled. She looked like shit. Her hair was messy and her eyes were red and puffy.
"What happened to you yesterday?" I asked, watching her cross her arms onto the table. She looked pissed and rightfully so.
Bella looked up at me, "I…I…" She took a deep breath and stared at the table, "I had some stuff to deal with." She answered simply. She began playing with the front cover of the book, refusing to look at me again.
"Bella…I wanted to apologise for what I said to you. I didn't know that-"
"Don't." She hissed quietly, "Don't even think about it. You don't get to apologise. You don't get to feel pity or remorse or anything about this situation." She glared at me.
Nice going, asshole.
I had to try and make this right. I ran my hand through my hair, "If I had've known I-"
"You what? Wouldn't have called me a stalker? Wouldn't have made me feel about two inches tall? God, Edward, fuck off." She growled. She leaned back in her seat and sighed. This wasn't going how I wanted it to.
"Why do you even care anyway?" She spat, "It's not like I mean anything to you, right?"
I stared at the table, frowning at her words.
She means everything to you, Cullen.
"I guess not." I mumbled, looking back to her. She turned away, disgusted with me.
"Shouldn't you be in class anyway?"
"Shouldn't you?" I reported, standing up. There was no point in out staying my welcome here. She wasn't interested in any apology I had to offer and it fucking killed me. "By the way," I muttered, grabbing my books, "You look like shit." I walked away from the table, chuckling to myself. It was true. She did look like shit. I was doing her a favour by telling her.
"Fuck you." She whispered.
I didn't turn back, I just kept walking. If I turned back, who knows what I would have done. I would've probably kissed her in the middle of a fucking library. And she probably would have slapped me or kicked me in the jewels.
To taste her lips again would be something else entirely.

I made my way outside and sat at one of the benches, lighting a cigarette.
Jane and her posse were outside, practising their latest cheer. Pathetic.
Jane spotted me and skipped over, "Hey babe." She sat down on my lap and wrapped her arms around my neck.
"Hey." I smirked, kissing her chastely.
"Shouldn't you be in class?" She leaned her forehead against mine and bit her lip.
I shifted underneath her and smirked when she closed her eyes, moaning quietly. "Do you want something?" I whispered into her ear, trailing my hand down her back.
"Not here." She replied, kissing my neck.
Good, cause it felt fucking wrong.
"We can always go to the janitor's closet…" I breathed against her skin. Why the hell was I pushing this?
Because you need a release, jerk.
She kissed me, forcing her tongue into my mouth, "No. I have to get back." She mumbled when she pulled away.
I sighed and pushed her gently off my lap, "Fine. Whatever."
I wasn't even hard anyway. Goes to show she has zero effect on me whatsoever.

I stood in the line for lunch with Emmett.
"God, I'm fucking starving." He groaned, eyeing the burgers.
I ignored him, grabbing a tray. Water, pizza, pudding. Same thing everyday. And it always ended up in the bin. I walked over to the table with Emmett, ignoring Bella. I couldn't look at her. I just couldn't.
"Hey! You're Bella, right?" Emmett asked.
Bella nodded.
"Emmett Cullen." He extended a meaty hand for one of his death grip handshakes. From the corner of my eye, I saw Bella grimace, hiding it quickly with a smile.
I wanted to punch my brother for inflicting pain on her.
"Anyway, you better not bail on me for Biology, Bella." Alice chimed.
"Of course not." Bella replied, quietly.
I stared at my lunch, clenching my teeth.
"So how are you liking Phoenix?" Emmett questioned.
I groaned inwardly. The small talk was fucking killing me.
"It could be better." Bella answered simply, "Not really a fan of the weather."
Emmett chuckled, chewing on his burger, "You'll get used to it."
"You're such an idiot!" Rosalie hissed. I smirked to myself, trouble in paradise?
"Are you okay?" Jasper mumbled.
My eyes snapped up to see Bella staring down at her lap. She looked uncomfortable, like she didn't belong.
"Fine." She nodded.
"How's your dad?" Alice asked her.
I stared at Bella, taking a deep breath as I waited for her response. She squirmed, uncomfortable again.
"He's…okay."
Alice smiled, pushing her tray away, "Good. I'm glad to hear that."
"Is that why you weren't here yesterday?" I found myself asking, "Did something happen to him?" I couldn't stop myself. I was curious. I wanted to know everything was okay.
She glared at me, "No." She answered sharply, "And it's none of your business anyway."
Emmett laughed, elbowing me in the ribs, "You've met your match, Cullen."
I abruptly stood, grabbing my tray, "Fuck this." I spat, storming out of the cafeteria.
I made my way outside and into my car, "Fuck her." I took my anger out on the steering wheel. This was killing me.
The passenger door opened then, but I didn't turn to see who it was.
"Edward?" Bella breathed.
What the fuck? My stomach churned as I turned to face her, "Yeah?"
She leaned her head back against the headrest and sighed, "I don't think I can do this anymore."
I sighed and stared out at the parking lot, "I don't think I can either."

I fucking needed her. I fucking wanted her. I wanted to kiss her, and hold her and just be with her.
I fucking loved her. But I couldn't tell her. Not yet, anyway.