God, this took me forever to get what I wanted out on paper. But now its out... Phew.
I hope you guys enjoy this chapter!
Chapter Twelve: I Won't Say Goodbye
He stared up at her expectantly, waiting for her answer.
Well, I obviously can't say yes but I don't want to say no either. Not in front of everyone- no, even if there was no one here I wouldn't want to say no. So I guess the only answer is-
"Yes."
Kagome's eyes widened and her hand clamped to her mouth. What am I thinking?! I can't do this.
InuYasha's face lit up with the brightest, most genuine smile, reaching all the way up to his eyes. He rose to his feet and swept her up into hug, lifting her feet off the ground. "You will?"
Her heart soared to see the look of pure joy on his face. I can. One last moment of happiness... before a lifetime of darkness.
"Of course I will."
He set her back down on her feet and plucked the ring from its box. He grinned as he took her left hand in his and slipped the band on her ring finger.
Kagome stared at the ring: an intricate golden filigree sprouted from the back of the band expanding out towards the stone which was a pale jade. I can't believe I'm going through with this...
Whoops and cheers coming from around them drew her from her thoughts. Smiles greeted her in every direction. All of my friends, my family... I may never see any of them again- No, I can't think like that. I will see them again.
"Congratulations!"
"Good on you, love!"
"Thanks for giving our Lord a good swift kick in the rear."
Kagome felt the pad of a thumb swipe under her eye, drying tears she didn't realize she had let slip. "Tears of joy?" He smiled down at her.
No... So far from it, my love.
Kagome smiled back and wiped the remaining tears from her face.
"Congratulations, Kagome!" Sango called out as she ran up to her and enveloped her in a hug. "I'm so glad your fiancé listens so well." She pulled back, holding her at arm's length. "I may or may not have threatened bodily harm if he didn't propose to you where everyone could see."
She doesn't even look guilty about it... That's my Sango. Kagome giggled to herself.
Miroku appeared beside Sango, threading his arm in a practiced and polished motion around her waist. "I feel it was quite justified after all the threats InuYasha has made on my life. But this is all beside the point. I just wanted to see the beginning of his transformation. It's about time someone made an honest man out of him."
InuYasha scoffed, rolling his eyes. "Yeah, because that worked so well on you." He placed his hand on the small of Kagome's back.
Sango sighed. "What can I say? I can only do so much with what was given to me. You can lead a horse to water but you can't make it drink. I guess what I'm trying to say is I'm no miracle worker. Unfortunately I am but a simple human woman, with the strength on two men."
"Now Sango, I won't have you spreading such falsehoods. I have always been an honest man. If anything you could say I am too honest."
Sango crossed her arms over her chest, huffing. "No, monk, that particular 'honesty' is called over sharing and no one likes it."
Kagome smiled watching the two argue like the old married couple they were. I wonder if InuYasha and I will be so adorable when we've been married for fifty years.
"But darling, the world needs to know the extent of my undying love for you." Miroku's hand on Sango's back travelled a slow, inching path down before landing on her but and giving it a good squeeze.
Sango pinched the bridge of her nose, letting out a gusty sigh. "What, have I told you about groping in front of the company, dear?"
Miroku laughed nervously, rubbing her butt.
Sango's eyes snapped open and fire seemed to blaze out of them as she wheeled back and smacked him across the face, leaving a bright red hand print on his cheek.
Miroku sighed in contentment, caressing the mark on his face. "It was worth it."
Kagome became hyper aware of InuYasha's hand on her back, its heat warming her from the outside in. "Miroku, grow up." InuYasha sneered at his friend.
Miroku poked a finger at InuYasha's chest. "No, InuYasha, you grow up. You don't understand the mind of a married man; his desires and thought processes. You haven't even seen Kagome in the-" Sango clamped a hand over his mouth.
"Over sharing!" she hissed in his ear. She turned back to them, smiling. "Excuse us, we're going to go somewhere far away from you two... Before I murder my own husband before he at least gives me children."
Kagome laughed as she watched Sango drag Miroku across the ballroom. "I can't wait until we're that close."
InuYasha wrapped his other arm around her, turning her to look at him. "Can't we just be normal?"
Kagome shook her head, placing her hands on his shoulders. "Normal is boring, and we both know we are so very far from normal."
He sighed. "If you insist." Kagome squealed as he lifted her off her feet and flung her over his shoulder, spinning around the dance floor.
Kagome and InuYasha made their rounds of the ballroom, making sure to talk with everyone. Kagome hugged each person, receiving congratulations and well wishes. InuYasha subjected himself to kisses on the cheek from all the women and claps on the back from the men.
Totosai grabbed him by the neck, pulling him down to give him a noogie. "Always knew you had it in you!" he exclaimed, laughing as InuYasha struggled to break free.
"Old man-!"
Totosai released him and smacked him on the back with a resounding clap that echoed throughout the ballroom.
Kagome stooped down to press a kiss to Totosai's wrinkled cheek. "Thank you for your enthusiasm, but I would kindly ask you not to injure my fiancé."
"I aint so easily broken." InuYasha huffed.
The old man quirked his head to the side and raised a brow. "Wait, you're getting married? To this knuckle head?" He pulled InuYasha down again, inspecting his face with squinted eyes.
"Who else would she marry? No one else in this castle is single except Shippou," InuYasha grumbled once he was free of the swordsmith's grasp.
Kagome chuckled at his pout. He's right. Even Hojo is married to the head maid, Yuki. Kagome had found that out just this evening in the process of greeting the castle staff.
She let out a gasp when Shippou appeared in front of her all of a sudden, popping out of a puff of smoke and landing in her arms. "Yes, Kagome!" He threw his head back dramatically. "I, the powerful ninja warrior Shippou, shall take on the heavy burden of caring for and protecting your heart." He pursed his lips into a kissy face
Kagome laughed, pressing a kiss to his forehead. "Sweet Shippou, I'm sorry, I've already promised InuYasha I would marry him."
"Yeah shorty, you were too slow on the draw." InuYasha added, ruffling his hair while Shippou pouted.
They spent the next hour with everyone and dancing to the occasional song when the band picked up. Sango had to drag Miroku out of the room several times when his over sharing became unbearable. Kagome grew suspicious when they returned the second time, smoothing out rumpled clothing and straightening stray hairs.
The grandfather clock tolled ten o'clock as the party was wrapping up, everyone heading back to their rooms for the night. Sango had rushed to help Kagome out of her gown and into her nightgown. She excused herself hastily and ran down the hall towards her room.
As soon as the door closed behind her, Kagome's eyes turned to the clock on her mantle. She fidgeted with the ring on her finger, twisting it back and forth. Should I tell him? She started pacing, watching the clock tick closer to midnight. I should at least tell him I need to leave. She mulled over her thoughts, continuing to pace anxiously. She wasn't convinced letting herself say any form of goodbye was a good idea. Her resolve to stay in her room was growing thinner.
She glanced at the clock again and almost sobbed.
10:45
Her resolve snapped. I need to see him. She threw a shawl over her shoulders to cover her nightgown and opened the door. She stepped forward, eyes on the ground, and ran into something warm and solid. Fingers wrapped around her upper arms. Her eyes shot up in surprise to see InuYasha, his own eyes wide with surprise.
Kagome heaved a heavy sigh of relief, placing a hand over her pounding heart. "For a second I thought..." She shook her head and smiled up at him. "I was just coming to look for you." She shifted out of his grasp and took his hands in her own, pulling him into the room and closing the door behind them. "I need to talk to you."
InuYasha sat down on the couch facing the fireplace. The fire bathed him in its light and Kagome had to push back the images of what Naraku had inadvertently shown her. She sat down next to him, taking a deep breath to steel her nerves.
"You have to leave, don't you?" He was staring at his hands, clasped in his lap.
Kagome felt her heart drop into her stomach. "How did you-?"
"I heard you talking on the roof. I only caught part of the conversation." He lifted his head, eyes meeting hers. "The part about you having to leave at midnight."
"That's what I was coming to talk to you about." She cupped his hands in hers, scooting closer to him. "I do have to leave."
His eyes dropped back to their hands in his lap.
She brought a hand up to cup his face, their eyes meeting again. His brows drew together, eyes confused. "But this is not goodbye. I am coming back. I have something to deal with, something personal. I don't know how long it will take but I will come back to you." She searched his eyes for a sign of understanding but all she found was uncertainty. "I promise you. We are engaged. A bride can't miss her own wedding."
He frowned, pulling her into his arms. "You better not. I have it on good authority that Sango would murder the groom if anything were to interfere with 'her happy day'."
She chuckled shortly, choking on a sob, and buried her face into the crook of his neck. Her hands fisted in the front of his shirt. "We can't have that, now can we?" She felt more tears prick her eyes, imagining Sango fuss over her, preparing her for her wedding day. Her fingers tightened in his shirt. When she spoke, her voice betrayed her, coming out broken. "InuYasha, I love you."
He pulled back to look at her, wiping the tears from her eyes. "Are you sure you're going to be okay? You sound like a soldier going off to fight in a war they know they won't be returning from."
"I'll be fine. Who would go with me? The curse still stands and Shippou's the only person aside from me who can leave the castle."
"There must be somethingI can do..." He held her at arm's length, a war of emotions playing out in his eyes.
He looks so defeated.
"Just... hold me?" she offered, running her hands over his arms.
He nodded and she climbed onto his lap, tucking her head under his chin. She twined her arms under his, fingers digging into the back of his shirt. She squeezed her eyes shut against another onslaught of tears. His hands shifted, one moving to her back and the other running down her arm to rest on her hip, pulling her as close to him as possible.
"Anything else I can do?"
She untucked her head and stared up at him. "Kiss me."
He leaned forward, pressing his hand into the small of her back. Kagome let her eyelids flutter shut, anticipating his lips on hers. She frowned when she felt their gentle pressure on her forehead.
"InuYasha, what are you-?"
His lips brushed lightly over her right eyelid. Kagome felt her cheeks heat up. His lips disappeared before reappearing over her left eyelid.
Heat pooled in her belly when he pulled away again, wondering where his lips would land this time. She couldn't suppress the giggle when she felt his lips on the tip of her nose and opened her eyes. The giggle caught in her throat. His eyes bore into hers with an intensity that made her heart pound in her chest.
He placed a kiss on one cheek, pulled back to look her in the eyes, and kissed her on the other.
Her heart pounded harder, the heat in her belly growing hotter.
She may not have heard the words yet, but she knew how much InuYasha loved her. How much he cherished her. She could feel it in every caress of his lips on her skin. Her skin felt hot and over-sensitized.
Finally, their lips met and Kagome sighed into the kiss.
He pulled away too soon and Kagome found herself dragging his lips back to hers desperately. Kissing InuYasha was a welcome, if not exceedingly pleasant, distraction. He helped her forget, if only for a little while.
Forget what she had seen about her family.
Forget her deal.
Forget Naraku, in general.
Forget her own name.
Only a single word echoed through her mind: InuYasha. She shifted, straddling his lap to deepen the kiss. His hands were on her hips, pulling her closer. She dragged her fingers through his hair, stopping at the tie restraining the shimmering silver strands. She tugged at the bow, his long hair flowing in a silken curtain down his back.
Kagome pulled back in need of air. She found she was suddenly curious to see what her future husband looked like with his hair down. Her breath was coming out in light pants and the heat in her belly had become a fire.
Beautiful...
Kagome had never thought a man to be beautiful before. InuYasha was that and so much more and her heart leapt into her throat with the way he was staring at her. The intensity in his eyes would be her undoing. She wasn't sure she could handle that right now.
"Tell me to stop," she said, feeling her uncertainty grow.
"Do you want to stop?"
Of course not. "No."
"Then don't."
She sat back on his knees. "But this is a horrible idea."
"Why is it a horrible idea?" He sat forward, not giving her an inch.
She let out a frustrated sigh. "It'll just make everything so complicated."
"In what way?"
"Because I won't want to leave!" she whispered harshly, pressing her forehead to his. Tears formed in her eyes for what felt like the hundredth time and she felt like a fool for letting her emotions rule over her.
He kissed away her tears, cupping her face in his hands and smiling at her. "I will do whatever you want. All you have to do is tell me."
Kagome knew what she wanted. She wanted him. She bit her lip, embarrassed to speak the words. She clasped her hands behind his neck and pulled him into a brief kiss. The clock struck eleven, as if punctuating the moment.
"Make love to me."
Kagome closed her eyes, losing herself in InuYasha. She reveled in the feeling of his lips as they travelled over her skin. His hands traced lines and patterns where his lips had been. She couldn't remember how, but they somehow ended up on her bed, stripped of their clothing. InuYasha hovered over her, drinking her in with his eyes.
She felt fire on her skin where his hands roamed. A pressure building at the core of her being. His fingers brought her to singing heights only for her world to come crashing down on her in a moment of shaking release.
He was over her now, looking her in the eyes, making sure she was okay.
Making sure she was ready.
She nodded.
Then he was entering her: claiming her and completing her in the same moment.
It was... uncomfortable? She wasn't sure that was the word. Maybe unfamiliar.
Her brows furrowed at the odd feeling, reaching out to InuYasha to stop. It was all so strange and new and not at all what she had expected. Her muscles loosened and when she urged him to start moving again the feeling had all but disappeared.
She was experiencing a sense of completion she'd never thought possible.
So complete and so full as they moved in a synchronized motion.
They were one. She wasn't entirely sure they'd ever been separate in the first place. She was positive at this point that if she were to feel for his heart beat, they would both be beating the same erratic pattern.
Kagome felt that familiar pressure building. A tightly wound spring creaking in protest until she came undone. InuYasha followed suit soon after, curling in on himself, then collapsing beside her.
Head still muddled with fuzzy static, she rolled over to cuddle into his side and rest her head on his shoulder. She ran a hand up his chest, stopping where she could feel his heart. She smiled to herself. Our hearts do match.
She glanced up at him. His eyes were still closed, still lost in the feeling. She ran her fingers through the small, light patch of silver hair on his chest, the ring on her finger glinting in the firelight.
"InuYasha?"
She felt him shift under her, a hand tracing lines on her back. "Hm?"
She rolled more onto him, crossing her arms over his chest and setting her chin on them. "Where did you get this ring from?" She splayed her hand out on his chest, examining it closely. "I don't remember there being any metal workers in the castle, so you didn't have it made. And no one can leave the castle. That rules out buying it. Unless you sent Shippou, but I can't imagine you would trust his judgment. I would have remembered a traveling merchant coming through-"
He smiled at her, placing his hand over hers. "It was my mother's."
Kagome blushed. He's given me another piece of her. He really is opening up before my eyes. "I guess I should have known. Thank you, for sharing another piece of her with me."
InuYasha brought her hand to his mouth, brushing his lips over her knuckles. "It's been in her family for generations. My father actually proposed to her with this ring... It took a few times for her to say yes. She was so stubborn and head strong. She refused to say yes until he gave her a properproposal. He finally figured out what she meant, and had Sesshomaru with him the final time. Asking her to join his family."
"That's so sweet." She smiled, tilting her head into her arm. She laced her fingers with his.
"I want to continue passing this ring down. To our child and to our child's child."
Kagome's voice caught in her throat. She'd almost said 'if I come back'. Then she felt a seed of doubt sprouting in her heart. What if I can't come back...?
Her thoughts must have been all over her face because InuYasha kissed her, pulling back to give her an intense look. "Don't go."
Kagome sat up. "How can you say that? I've told you how important this is to me."
He followed her wrapping her in a tight embrace. "I'm just so afraid that you aren't going to come back."
She sighed. "I know, I'm just as scared as you are." There was no point in denying it anymore. She could imagine being stuck with Naraku for the rest of her life and it made her sick to her stomach.
"Then don't go alone, at least."
She pulled back, looking at him with questioning eyes. "We've already had this discussion."
"I'll go with you." He took a deep breath, as if preparing to say something important. "Because I love-"
The clock struck midnight.
Darkness surrounded her and she felt the sheets beneath her disappear.