A/N: This story has no Beta. All spelling errors and mistakes are my own.

Song for this chapter: Beautiful Lie - 30STM

Hope you're all still enjoying this story!

EPOV

"I love you."
She was silent for a moment. I heard her take a deep shaky breath before she replied, "Edward." She whispered, ""I am seriously sick and tired of being the punchline to your sick as fuck jokes." She sobbed, "I meant what I said. Stay the hell away from me."
She ended the call before I had a chance to answer her.
I stared at my phone in disbelief. She didn't believe me.
Can you blame her?
I threw my phone against the wall and sat on my bed, head in hands. She didn't believe that I loved her. That I adored her. And I couldn't blame her. I had never given her any reason to believe that I do. Not after everything. Which made me feel worse. I was such a dick. I had to make it up to her. I had to prove myself, didn't I?
Well, that's exactly what I was going to do.
Good luck with that, asshole.
I made my way down stairs, thumping my feet across the hardwood floor.
"What's the matter with you?" My dad folding his newspaper and eyed me suspiciously.
I frowned, "Nothing. What's the matter with you?"
My dad sighed deeply and rubbed his forehead, "Stop being a smart ass."
I scoffed and made my way toward the fridge, staring inside, "I'm not being a smart ass. It was a simple question." I retorted, grabbing a can of juice, "And anyway, shouldn't you and mom be going somewhere? It's Friday night."
He shook his head, "I have to be at the hospital soon. Night shift."
I arched a brow, "Since when do you work night shifts?"
"Since I have a patient who is getting surgery in a few days and another patient who has just had surgery." He stood up, tucking the paper under his arm, "I'll be home tomorrow morning." He grabbed his keys and shut the front door behind him.
I sat at the kitchen island staring off into space. It was Friday night and I had sweet fuck all to do.
You could always call Jane.
I rolled my eyes at myself. Not a chance in hell. I broke up with her for a reason. A damn good reason at that. And I was not, not going to crawl back to her. What kind of message would that send to her? And to Bella?
I shuddered, this was fifty shades of messed up.
Emmett stormed his way into the kitchen, glaring once at me and then at the table, "Rosalie is refusing to see me tonight."
Rolling my eyes, I stood up, "Why?"
Emmett sighed deeply, plopping down on a chair, "Something to do with some waitress I was checking out or some shit."
"Wasn't that last week?"
Emmett nodded, dragging his hands down his face, "Yep."
I chuckled, placing a hand on his shoulder, "Well done, brother."
He shook my hand off him and scowled, "She's taking it way too seriously, Edward. And I can't make it up to her if she won't see me, can I?"
"I guess so. Fuck her, man. Go out with Jasper or something." I grabbed my juice and made my way to the living room where my mom sat, nose in a book and a glass of wine at her side.
I sat down on the couch opposite her and turned on the tv, flicking through the channels.
"You're not going out tonight?" My mom asked quietly.
I shook my head, eyes glued to the tv, "Nope."
My mom sighed, lifting her glass of wine, "Why not?"
"Because I don't feel like it." I lied. What could I do anyway?
"Alright. I'm going for a bath. There's food in the freezer if you're hungry." She took her book and wine with her when she left.
I shook my head at her retreating figure. What happened to this family?

Saturday.
It was hot as fuck outside. The high was 104. Which was weird for the middle of September.
My mom lounged outside, feet in the pool, catching rays. My brother was out with Rosalie. I figured they had made up. And my dad, well where do you think he was?
Today would be spent the way most of our weekends were spent. Doing absolutely nothing because we were never all together as a family.
I sat on my window ledge and stared outside. Our next door neighbours were firing up a barbecue and their kids ran around their back yard, laughing and kicking a football around.
We used to do things like that. We used to do it a lot. But it was just a faded memory now. It's not been that way for a long time and I can't for the life of me figure out why. I want to say it was because Emmett and I grew up, but things went down hill before we even started high school. I'd like to say that it would get back to normal, but this was the new normal. A broken family. A father who worked constantly. A mother who found solace at the bottom of a wine bottle and a brother who was never home. And me, a self proclaimed fuck up.
I closed my eyes, leaning my head back against the window frame. What was Bella doing? How was her dad?
Pick up the phone and ask her.
I couldn't. She told me to fuck off. She thought me loving her was a joke. I was many things, but I would never joke about my love for her. I couldn't take back the things I had said and done.
You shouldn't have done them in the first place.
I fucking know.

Jasper came by at six with Alice and I wished to God I was high. I couldn't deal with Alice at the weekends. She was too hyper and excited, even more than what she is at school.
"So, I told Rosalie that she had to get over it. I mean, Emmett is a guy. And guys have needs…" She shrugged, "I wouldn't care if Jasper done what Emmett did."
Jasper rolled his eyes and leaned back against the couch, "Thanks."
Alice sighed, "I'm just saying, babe."
Jasper locked eyes with me, silently pleading for me to change the subject. I cleared my throat, "Anyone have news on Bella?"
Alice frowned, confused at my question, "I haven't spoken to her since yesterday when her and Jane were fighting." She answered, "She didn't mention anything about her dad."
I sighed and stood up, "It's her birthday next Saturday." I mused, walking toward the kitchen.
She's turning eighteen. I had to do something for her. Get her the most fuckawesome present.
Jasper followed behind me, "You shouldn't have told Alice about Bella's birthday." He chuckled, "She's gonna want to plan a party now."
I sighed and rolled my eyes, "Of fucking course." Trust Alice to make a big song and dance about everything.

We spent the night watching shitty movies and eating shitty popcorn, just for an excuse to do something.
Time passed quickly. It wasn't long until my dad came home, tired and grumpy. He peeked into the lounge and sighed when he saw the three of us, "Hello." He mumbled.
Alice grinned up at my dad, "Hi, Dr Cullen."
Jasper nodded toward him and smiled. I raised a brow at my dad, silently testing him.
He narrowed his eyes at me, "Where's your mother?"
I shrugged, leaning back in my seat, "I don't know. Probably upstairs passed out."
My dad scoffed angrily and stormed up the stairs.
Jasper cleared his throat, "Dude." He warned, giving me a pointed look.
I sighed, "What? I can't tell the truth now? He asked where she was, so I told him." I answered, "No biggie."
Jasper shook his head and stood up, "It's getting late. We should go." He took Alice's hand, gently pulling her up, "I'll see you at school on Monday, Edward."
I looked away from them, focusing on the tv, "Yeah. Whatever."
So now I couldn't even keep company? Was I really that bad?
Yes. Yes you are.
The door closed behind them, and I was left alone. Again. This was starting to get old real quick.

Sunday. A day not worth mentioning because nothing really happened.
I stayed home, again. My dad went to work, again. Emmett went out, again. And my mom, well she drank, again.

Monday.
Bella didn't sit with us at lunch. I didn't see her all day. Did she even come to school?
It was official. I was depressed as fuck. I missed her.
And no, I didn't miss being a dick to her. I missed seeing her face and her cute frustrated expressions. I missed the way her cheeks would flush when she got angry with me. I missed how she would clench her fists when she was trying hard not to punch me. I missed her sarcastic smile because it showed me she could stand up to me. I just fucking missed her.
"Can you drop me off at Rose's?" Emmett asked as he put on his seatbelt.
I snorted, "Why? So you two can fuck like bunnies all night?"
Emmett growled, "No."
I turned on the engine, "Have you guys sorted out your shit?" I asked, pulling out of my parking space.
He grinned, "Yep."
"So you are gonna fuck like bunnies then?"
"Oh yeah." He laughed, leaning back, "Would do you some good to find someone." He joked.
My fists clenched around the steering wheel, "I guess." I said quietly.
"What are you doing later?" He asked, watching me drive.
"Don't know." I answered simply. I wasn't in the mood to talk to him. I just wanted to drive in silence.
"Okay. Well, if you want, I can come home earlier and we can play X-box or something?"
I snorted and shook my head, "We're not ten anymore."
Emmett sighed deeply, "Whatever."
I pulled up outside Rosalie's house and killed the engine, "Here you are."
Emmett smiled and grabbed his bag, "Later, bro." He shut the door and made his way to the front door.
I watched as Rose answered, a huge smile gracing her lips when she saw Emmett. Why couldn't I have that?
You're a dick, that's why.
Yep. I was a dick.

I made my way home, grumbling to myself. What the fuck happened to my social life?
Slamming the front door, I frowned, realising no one was home. I had the house to myself. I made my way to the kitchen, searching for something to eat.
Hi darlings,
There's Chicken Parmesan in the oven.
Your dad and I will be home later tonight.
Love mom.
I snorted, throwing the note into the bin and then went to the oven. I turned it off and open the door. I had to admit, it smelled amazing.

I stared at my plate, pushing the food around it.
Stop feeling sorry for yourself.
Easier said than done.
Fuck it. I've had enough of this boredom. I wiped my hands on my jeans and grabbed my car keys, praying that she would let me in.
You asshole.
I scowled at myself in the rear view mirror. I didn't like it myself, but it beats sitting around, right?
The drive to her house took ten minutes. I sat outside, debating my next move.
"Okay," I breathed to myself, "Okay."
One of the bedroom lights were on. Was she home? I killed the engine and opened the door, taking a deep breath. The house was pale grey, barely noticeable behind trees and shrubs. From the outside, it looked far too big.
Slowly, I made my way to the front porch. I looked up at the house and closed my eyes.
Two more steps and you're at the door.
Two more steps and I would see her. Two more steps and I could tell her the truth face to face. Two more steps and she may actually believe me. Two more fucking steps.
I opened my eyes to see the light had been turned off. My heart rate quickened. She was going to catch me standing out here like a creep.
Another light, I assumed from the bathroom, came on. I breathed a sigh of relief.
Why so relieved, Cullen? You're knocking on the door anyway.
Okay, two steps.
But I couldn't do it. My feet were rooted to the spot.
What's wrong with you?
I shook my head, exhaling loudly. I couldn't. She wouldn't appreciate this. She'd probably punch me and tell me to fuck off again. But I had to try, right?
"Damn it!" I growled to myself. My fucking feet still wouldn't move.
What are you so afraid of?
Her eyes. I was afraid of her eyes. Because when I looked into them I could see her fucking soul, and I could see her heart break. And I couldn't put her through that. No matter what the hell I said to her, she would never believe me. She would never listen long enough for me to explain shit. She would never give me the time of day.
I turned on my heel and stormed back to my car, "Fuck this day." I hissed as I slammed my door shut, "Fuck this day a million times over."

Tuesday. I fucking hate Tuesdays.
I looked like shit. I didn't get much sleep. I had spent the night thinking. Overthinking I should say, imagining scenarios where everything was fucking picture perfect.
"Good morning!" Emmett slung his bag over his shoulder and grinned as he waited at the front door for me.
"Morning." I mumbled back, grabbing my jacket from the hook, "Why so cheery?" I asked, collecting my keys from the glass bowl at the door.
Emmett shrugged, "I'm always cheery."
"Yeah. Okay." I shut the front door behind us and made my way to the car.
I pulled into the school parking lot and immediately spotted her.
She was walking with Alice, arm in arm. The hairs on the back of my neck stood up. I ran a hand through my unruly bronze hair and sighed, "You getting out or what?" I hissed to my brother.
He rolled his eyes and got out of the car, "I'll see you at lunch."
"Don't we have Trig together?" I asked, shutting the car door.
Emmett sighed deeply, "It's been cancelled today. Don't you listen in class? Mr Varner has an appointment so we have a free period."
I raised my brows, "Oh."
Emmett scoffed and turned away, scanning the lot for Rosalie.
I grabbed my bag from the trunk and made my way into school. What could I get up to for two hours?
I leaned against my locker, watching everyone scurry along the hallway in their collective groups. Idiots.
"What's up with your face?" Alice asked, suddenly beside me, scaring me shitless.
"Jesus Christ, Alice." I spat, "Where the hell did you come from?"
She smiled apologetically at me, "Sorry."
"How's Bella?" I asked, looking back toward the crowds.
"Why don't you ask her yourself?" Alice muttered, "What's your deal with her anyway?"
"There is no deal." I replied sourly, "Not anymore anyway."
Alice frowned, confused at my words, "What?"
I shook my head, "Nothing." She wasn't supposed to know what I meant. She never will know.
She rolled her eyes, "See you at lunch. Hopefully you'll be a little more up beat." She said as she began walking away from me.
"Don't count on it." I whispered.
Like I said, I fucking hate Tuesdays.

I ended up hiding in the library for the two hours I had free. Sad, I know. But I liked it here.
"Mr Cullen, are you planning on reading that?" The librarian sneered down at me.
I stared at the book in front of me and nodded, "Yeah." I whispered. I ran my fingers across the front page and smirked to myself. Hamlet.
I wondered if Bella ever got round to reading it that day we spoke in here. That day she looked like utter shit. That day she told me to go fuck myself.
I chuckled quietly, "Hamlet's shit anyway." I whispered to myself. I lifted the book and made my way to the desk, to check out the book.
The librarian raised a brow as she took the book off me, "Return on the nineteenth of September, Mr Cullen." She mumbled, handing me it back.
I nodded and stuffed it into my bag, "Thanks." I gave her a small smile and left the library for lunch.
I took my seat next to Rosalie and stared out of the window. My reflection didn't go unnoticed. I really looked like shit. I looked like I hadn't slept in days. I had big black bags under my eyes and my hair was a state.
"Where did you go for the free period?" Emmett asked, his mouth full of food.
I shrugged, "Nowhere in particular."
Emmett nodded, "Do you think Bella will sit with us today? She hasn't been here at lunch for a few days." He sighed, "It's getting kinda boring."
I rolled my eyes, "Maybe she just doesn't want to be associated with you." I retorted. She wasn't sitting with us at lunch because I told her not. But he didn't need to know that.
Rosalie frowned, "Don't talk to him like that."
I scoffed and stared out of the window again, "Whatever."
"Look who it is!" Emmett exclaimed, "I was just saying to the guys that things have got boring since you stopped sitting with us."
I turned my head to see Bella plopping down next to Emmett.
She smiled sadly, "Sorry." She opened her bottle of water and met eyes with me. She smiled sweetly at me, "You look like shit."
My eyes narrowed, "Thanks." Was it that noticeable?
Emmett chuckled, "He's depressed."
Bella frowned, "Why?"
I sighed, staring out of the window again, "Depressed." I mumbled. I guess I was.
Jasper snorted, "Depressed, my ass. He's just being a moody asshole."
"Sure." Bella responded. I clenched my teeth.
Depressed because of you, Swan.
Alice cleared her throat, "Bella's party this weekend, you guys coming?" She looked between Rosalie and me.
Rosalie smiled, "Duh!"
I didn't answer, I just continued to stare out of the window, ignoring them all. I didn't want to speak. I didn't want to engage in small talk. Did Bella even want me at her party anyway?
"Earth to Edward." Emmett clicked his fingers in front of my face, "Are you going on Saturday?"
I shrugged indifferently, "Sure. Whatever."
Act nonchalant.
Yeah, act nonchalant. I shouldn't get my hopes up.
Alice clapped her hands in delight, "Yay!" She exclaimed, "You all need to pitch in." She grinned at Bella, "This is going to be so much fun."
She smiled warmly in return and the sight made my heart swell.
If only she'd smile at you like that.
Rosalie leaned forward, "Who's in charge of alcohol?"
Jasper raised his hand, "Me."
"I'll help with that." Emmett nodded, "I'll just raid my dad's cabinet."
I rolled his eyes, "And hope he doesn't notice?" My brother could be so dense at times.
Emmett nodded, "Yes."
Bella shook my head, a smile playing on her lips, "You guys don't have to go to all that trouble."
I narrowed his eyes at her. I would do absolutely anything for her. Didn't she realise this? "We do." I replied through clenched teeth.
Jasper smirked, "You're only eighteen once, right?"
"I guess." Bella answered quietly.
Alice patted her hand, "Is there anyone you want to invite? Since it is your party and all."
She stared at the table, frowning slightly as she thought. It was too cute. I wanted to smooth her frown out. My fingers twitched at my side, desperate to touch her.
"No." She said finally, "I think you've got it covered."
Alice nodded, "Okay then."
I turned my head back to the window and watched the freshmans choke on their cigarettes.
I needed a distraction. I couldn't look at Bella's face. Because if I did, I wouldn't be able to stop myself from grabbing her hand and dragging her away. I needed her to know. She needed to know.

We didn't have school on Wednesday. Some teacher convention or some shit. So I spent my day trying and failing to catch up on homework.
Emmett and Rosalie disappeared, off to the beach or some shit. I didn't fucking know. I didn't fucking care.
My dad, of course, working.
My mother, she was out socialising with her friends.
I wandered around the house, wondering what I could get up to. My options were pretty limited.
You could always do laundry.
I snorted at myself. Yeah, and pigs will fly.
It was true though. The laundry had piled up. Emmett wouldn't think to do it and my mom never had the time.
I sighed deeply. Guess I was doing laundry. I piled the clothes into the machine and pressed random buttons, hoping that one of them would turn it on.
The machine roared to life as it began washing the clothes. Thank Christ for that.
I flopped down on the couch in the lounge, resting my feet on the coffee table as I channel surfed. Life had gotten pretty boring, hadn't it?
What happened to 'bad boy Cullen'?
He never existed. It was a façade, remember?

An hour later, and the laundry was finished. I opened the door and peered inside.
"Shit." I whispered, pulling out one of Emmett's shirts that was once white. "Its fucking blue." I mumbled.
Was I supposed to separate the colours from the whites? I looked up at the ceiling and cursed myself. I was destined for absolute fuck all in this life. I couldn't even do laundry right.
I pulled my phone out and dialled my dad's number.
"Yes, Edward?" He sighed.
"Uh, dad, I thought I'd do some laundry…" I began.
My dad choked on the other end, "You what?"
I clenched my teeth, "Yeah yeah, I know. But listen, everything's different colours."
My dad laughed, "Did you separate the coloureds?"
I sighed deeply, "No. How do I fix it?"
This had to be the most fucked up, stupid, annoying, idiotic conversations of my entire fucking life.
He cleared his throat, "You can't. Just pray that your mother doesn't kill you when she gets home."
"Yeah thanks!" I spat.
"Edward?"
"What?"
"Thank you for trying." He mumbled before ending the call.
Yeah, thanks for trying. That's all I ever do. Try.

Thursday was a long day. Nothing much to mention except my heart was basically broken into a thousand fucking pieces.
I sat in my car, across the street from Bella's trying to find the courage to go to her front door again. I had been sitting there for half an hour.
Just do it, pussy.
If only it was that easy. I stared over at her house, she was home. Her bedroom light was on.
It was a half day today at school so I didn't see her at lunch. I didn't get a chance to speak to her.
Excuses.
I was full of them, I know.
A car pulled up outside her house and I shrunk back, hiding from sight. Who was that?
The car headlights went out, and he stepped out. Jacob fucking Black.
What did he want with Bella?
He shut the car door and lifted his hand to his mouth, checking his breath. My stomach knotted.
It's not what you think.
I watched intently as he walked up to her front door and knocked. A few moments passed and Bella answered, dressed plainly in sweats, her hair in a ponytail. She smiled affectionately at him and closed the door after he stepped inside.
Not what I think? Yeah.
I growled under my breath. This wasn't fucking happening. A few minutes had passed and her bedroom light was turned off. I looked away, concentrating on the little clock on the dashboard.
Well, that was unexpected.

Unexpected. But yet, expected. I couldn't fault her for moving on, but with him? I brought this on myself, I know. I told her she meant nothing to me, but she does. She told me to fuck off and leave her alone.
And now, I might just finally do that.