Chapter Eighteen
Shampoo was no stranger to unexpected fights. First thing they teach you in Joketsuzoku is you can't always predict when the next fight will be. Like it or not sometimes you will be caught off guard, and sometimes the enemy won't give you the luxury of postponing the battle for a more opportune time.
Right now Kodachi looked like the living embodiment of this philosophy.
Even so, Shampoo had to make one effort to save her grandmother's restaurant. "You want fight? We go outside. Or you want pay for damage to restaurant?"
"Fine, be ready for the worst beating of your life." Kodachi said before exiting the restaurant.
Shampoo took a bit longer to come out than Kodachi had preferred, but before she could barge in again Shampoo jumped out of the second floor and landed on her feet on the road holding her chui. "What took you so long?"
"You no expect Shampoo to fight before get weapons right?"
"At least you're not wearing that horrendous fox girl outfit. You truly have no taste you Chinese hussy." Kodachi insulted.
Angered, Shampoo decided to mess with her and shifted into her primary cursed form, the fox girl. "Name is Shampoo. Remember when Shampoo send you crying home like little bitch."
"No one's ever beaten me before and you're sure as hell not going to be the first." Kodachi declared as she went for the kill right away, figuratively speaking of course.
Shampoo dodged to her right and ducked down before jumped at the gymnast, allowing her to headbutt Kodachi in the abs. The ponytailed girl had the wind knocked out of her but luckily she did have some training in enduring hits.
"That was a cheap shot." Kodachi winced.
"This come from girl who use tacks in fingers and chemical on glove and bombs in flowers and-?"
"Enough!" Kodachi shrieked, not liking her words used against her. Fury in her eyes she held her left arm up above her and began to spin her ribbon around in front of her, with some black rose petals filling the air.
'This decoy tactic, meant to distract Shampoo from real move.' Shampoo thought, her senses on full alert. Unfortunately her fox-strength nose was filled with the scent of roses and that was distracting her just as much.
A chain was thrown at her by Kodachi's right hand, and Shampoo jumped above it, just narrowing avoiding the self-locking manacle at the end. When she landed she grabbed the chain and pulled it, making Kodachi briefly lose her balance before she let go of the chain on her end. Shampoo saw at the other end there was something she could only assume was an explosive.
"Even now you still need stupid trick to win. You pathetic child pretending to be champion." Shampoo taunted.
Even more infuriated, Kodachi was twirling a weighted rope, the kind you throw at someone's legs in order to bind them and make them trip and not be able to get back up. "You dare call me pathetic? I am Kodachi the Black Rose! I AM a champion!"
"Then prove it. If you really have honor, fight like real warrior and not coward. We have saying back home, coward always have biggest sword. You coward in Shampoo eyes."
Cologne once taught Shampoo that cowards only got involved in fights when they felt safe or certain that they could guarantee victory with minimal damage to themselves. True bravery to the Joketsuzoku was shown fighting someone even when you had a disadvantage, but a coward was someone who said 'advantage or not fighting at all'. Having the biggest sword was basically announcing that all your courage came from the sword, and without it you knew you couldn't win.
"I'll show you coward." Kodachi said before snapping her rope, making it tighten like a rod. Running up to Shampoo, the purple-haired girl blocked with her chui, testing the feel of the weapon.
'It feel like rod. Weapon must be pliable or just look like rope when spinning.' Shampoo said before high-kicking the weapon away, successful but her foot stung.
Undaunted, Kodachi switched to a club in both hands. She thrust one at Shampoo's face but the Amazon blocked it with a pincer move wit her chui. At close proximity spikes came out of the club, one spike poking her nose but not drawing blood. Shampoo briefly released her grip and Kodachi withdrew the club, the spikes retracting.
"You blocked that well." Kodachi said.
"That strange weapon, but so far only one you show that Shampoo no find fault with." Shampoo replied. In truth that club did have a good tactical advantage for real battles, but for showcase spars it might be going a bit too far.
"You'll find I have the best weapons in my sport." Kodachi claimed. "I didn't get to be the best by having what everyone else has after all."
"True, but if you have honor you know want win by cheat, but by merit." Shampoo stated, trying to get another hit in. Kodachi bent backwards and caught herself with her hands before flipping back to her feet.
Close to her supply bag Kodachi pulled out a red hoop and spun it around her wrist above her head. When she got enough momentum behind it she threw the hoop which Shampoo dodged. She saw the hoop cut thru a wooden pole behind her, as if the hoop was actually an ax. After it cut thru it angled up.
'Razor hoop, she must like deadly weapon when force to fight.' Shampoo thought. "These weapon you would use in match today?"
"Yes. I intended to defeat you impudent woman and I'm still doing that. In the same way I intended to defeat you before. The only thing different right now is the setting, not the style."
"Then we see what style be stronger, your style or Shampoo style." The Chinese girl announced.
"The outcome of that is obvious." The ponytailed girl said when the ring returned to her. Somehow she was able to catch it without getting cut.
"Shampoo agree."
Back inside the cafe Cologne was watching the fight and was thinking back about last night.
-Flashback-
Cologne was getting ready to take a bath, but before she disrobed the phone rang. "Who could that be?" She asked herself before answering. "Hello? Fox Cafe. If you're calling for a delivery I'm afraid we're closed for the night."
"Oh I'm quite fed Elder Cologne. I'm calling in regards to other business."
Cologne gasped. "O-Oracle-sama! What a surprise this is."
"Sadly this is not just a friendly chat Elder. I'm calling to ask if you got the package I sent you." The Oracle, a highly respected honorary member of Joketsuzoku, requested.
"Yes I did, the one with the mushrooms, as well as details of how to use the contents. What I don't understand is why I need these."
"I believe you'll find them quite useful tomorrow night." The Oracle replied, but before Cologne could ask for clarification the Oracle hung up.
-Flashback End-
"So I have to use this mushroom on this crazy girl." Cologne said as she watched the fight, then went to go get the item in question.
Back outside the back raged on. Kodachi attacked and blocked with her whip-like ribbon and her razor hoop. Shampoo attacked and blocked with her chui and her natural dexterity. All the while neither appeared to be taking any direct hits anymore.
'She tough, but Shampoo face tougher.' The Amazon thought before jumping backwards and taking an almost meditative stance for a moment, her eyes closed and her arms spread out with weapons still held.
Kodachi paused out of confusion more than anything else. "What are you doing?"
Shampoo didn't answer. She opened her eyes and spun her chui in her hands like batons. Then she threw them one at a time, the blunt ends flying at Kodachi first. The gymnast tried to block them with her ribbon, but her weapon got tangled by the first chui and was too slow to stop the second one, which hit her in the center of her breasts.
The impact knocked the wind out of Kodachi and made her lose her balance, and before she could regain it Shampoo herself darted forward, grabbed the chui and swung it around herself before hitting Kodachi with it again, this time making her go flying up.
Kodachi crashed on the roof, cracking some tiles but not creating a hole. Shampoo jumped to get on the roof. "Give up or want more?"
Kodachi got up on all fours, looking bruised, dirty, and furious. "I will not lose... to an amateur!"
"Shampoo no amateur. Best warrior back home."
"The strongest insect is still just an insect." Kodachi claimed as she got to her feet, gripping her ribbon tightly enough that her knuckles turned white.
Shampoo gave her a patient look, but on the inside she was offended. "You no can handle real fight without cheating, and you still have nerve to say you too too strong to lose? You weak, you know you weak, you just refuse admit it."
Kodachi gritted her teeth at the accusation, which sadly wasn't completely untrue. The Kuno's had a sort of shared mentality regarding their battle skills, in which they overestimated their own might and believe with all their hearts that the only way someone could trump them was by unfair or unethical manners. Meaning the only possible way a Kuno could lose in anything was if the opponent had cheated. Because of this shared belief, the Kuno's tended to assume that all of their opponents were trying to cheat to begin with. Tatewaki tried to prove he could still win despite such cheating, but Kodachi on the other hand felt that if the opponent was going to cheat she had every right to cheat too.
As a result, for every trick Kodachi showed in combat, she usually had two yet to be revealed. Here, she was ready to show one of them.
"You think this is weak?" The gymnast said, taking out one of her clubs and pointing it at the Amazon. All of a sudden the blunt end separated from the stick and shot off at Shampoo, like a rocket. It even sounded like one.
Shampoo used all her agility and flexibility, both natural and granted by her cursed form to jump over and around it and land on her feet. 'She put firework in weapon?' She asked herself, remembering Kodachi's use of pyrotechnics at the match earlier today. To her surprise Kodachi immediately pulled out a second club and did the same. Shampoo planted herself as flat as she could on the roof to avoid this one which zoomed overheard then burst behind her.
Seeing her rival down, Kodachi rushed in to attack her directly. Whipping her ribbon to strike, she took aim only for Shampoo to roll out of the way and use her momentum to get back on her feet. Shampoo rushed in and grabbed the ribbon handle before yanking it out of her hand and throwing it to the street.
"No more weapon. No more cheat. Where your honor? Fight like real martial artist." Shampoo challenged, putting up her fists in a challenging manner.
Kodachi got the message right away; Shampoo was now changing the terms of the fight to bare fists, the most honorable form of martial arts known. No gimmicks other than what your body can perform, no weapons other than your body itself, no traps set in place and no cheap shots. At the same time it used one of martial arts unspoken but universal rules. To refuse was to admit inferiority and/or a dependency on outside means, both which could be used against you later, and to break the terms was to admit that such a martial artist had no real honor and thus lost any decent reputation.
'I can't accept, all my training is in rhythmic gymnastics. I no longer know how to fight without weapons.' Kodachi thought. 'I just have to ensure no word of this fight reaches anyone once I win.'
"No deal." Kodachi said before rushing in. "Attack of a Thousand Clubs." She declared, using multiple clubs at once to try and overwhelm her opponent with hits. Shampoo took a few hits but endurance was one of the things she trained in so she knew how to take a hit.
When Kodachi stopped her attack Shampoo reached out and grabbed both her wrists. "Now!"
"Now what?" Kodachi asked, then felt a hit on her back and her body froze solid. 'She's got back-up. She did cheat!' Of course she was completely ignoring the fact she had fought dirty first and moreso. To a Kuno, the cheating others did was always worse than the cheating they did.
Cologne, who had hit Kodachi with a shiatsu move to create temporary immobility, moved to Kodachi's mouth. "Good, her mouth's open." She opened a box and pulled out a tiny mushroom. Tiny enough she had to be careful not to crush it between her fingers. "This is for your own good." she said before throwing it in Kodachi's mouth. Thanks to its small size, she didn't even have to swallow it nor did it trigger any gag reflex.
The body-freeze wore off and Kodachi held her stomach. "What did you-?" She suddenly felt very strange, almost lighter in fact. Her leotard actually began to feel looser and the two Amazons appeared to get taller right before her eyes. "What's happening to me?" She asked as they more than doubled in size. She tried to turn but suddenly her balance shifted and she collapsed on her stomach. The first thing she noticed was that her chest felt different in the impact. Using a hand she felt for her bosom, only to see it was no longer there. 'My breasts? They're gone? But how?'
A green sheet was thrown over her head from behind, or so she thought. It was too big for her to throw off herself, so she crawled out into the open air. The first thing she saw were her hands, which looked smaller and pudgier now. "Wa haba ii?" She said, though she was trying to say 'What happened to me?'
"Impressive, about twenty seconds to take effect, give or take." Cologne said. "I had to admit even with Oracle-sama's word I was a bit skeptical of these mushroom's effects, but apparently they really work."
"Crazy Girl now baby?" Shampoo asked.
'Baby?' Kodachi asked, trying to check over herself, except her body didn't move like it used to. She could see her legs and they were as chubby as her arms were. She made an attempt to stand up, but she had a hard enough time just trying to sit up now.
Cologne wrapped up the now-infant girl in her leotard. "Well, we better watch over the child until Oracle-sama gives us further instructions. We can't just give her back to her family after all. If they did somehow believe us they'd press charges we don't want on us."
The pair dropped down, but on the ground there was someone waiting for them. "Hello." They said with a smile.
"Who are you?" Cologne person before her showed no signs of hostility, but she had no idea of knowing how long they had been there or what they came for. This person was a woman with brown hair, dress in a blue jacket over a white blouse and blue pants.
"Calm down Elder, I'm here on behalf of Oracle-sama. I'm her apprentice."
"Oracle-sama's apprentice?" Cologne repeated. "I was unaware she had one."
"Unlike elders, oracles make it a point to keep that a secret. We learn more that way. The only reason I revealed myself is because you're going to be seeing a lot more of me. So with that, I'll tell you my name. Ukyo Kuonji."
The name struck both Amazons as somewhat familiar, but neither could recall why.
"Anyway, as you already know, Oracle-sama knew this fight was going to happen and sent you the age mushrooms to end it the way she considered most proper ahead of time. It shouldn't surprise you she'd have something in mind for after you used them." Ukyo added.
Cologne nodded. "True. So what were you sent here for?"
"I've got some baby supplies to make that girl more comfortable." She said pointing to a squirming Kodachi, who was still in denial about her current form. "After that, I'm supposed to take her directly to my master. From there, you won't have to worry anymore."
"Alright, that works for me." Cologne replied.
"Oh, and return the mushrooms. You won't need them anymore and we don't want to risk someone else swallowing one." Ukyo added.
"Very well."
The whole process took a few moments. Cologne handed Kodachi to Ukyo who put the infant into a diaper then put her in a sling while the elder retrieved a box of tiny mushrooms. There weren't that many left, just enough to get Kodachi in case the first or second attempt failed.
"How soon until the Oracle herself appears? I'm sure that she'll want to see Son-in-law at some point since she's foreseen much about him." Cologne asked, giving over the box.
"Oh she does. Believe me she does want to see him." Ukyo said. "But for now Ranchan needs more time without her involvement. Fortunately, my chance to get involved is coming quickly."
"Ranchan?" Shampoo repeated, then caught the significance. "You the third bride?"
Ukyo smiled. "Technically first, since I did meet him before you and the one. But yeah, I'm one of the three. Nice to meet you by the way." She finished with a bow, which Shampoo politely returned.
"I assume you don't want us to tell him about you?" Cologne asked.
"I'll leave that up to you. In the big scheme of things it doesn't really matter if he knows about me tomorrow or not. If you do tell him, let him know I'll be by shortly and will give him something he'll never forget."
Without another word, Ukyo left the area, taking the de-aged Kuno girl with her.