A/N: This story has no Beta. All spelling errors and mistakes are my own.

Up In The Air - 30STM

EPOV

I drove back home, taking my sweet ass time. That image of Bella crumpling to the ground was something I couldn't shake.
What happened?
My hands tightened around the steering wheel.
Go back.
I couldn't. My dad would kick me out again. His face when he saw us together was something I didn't want to see again. He looked…angry. But why should he be angry? I stared at the dark road ahead, silently cursing myself for leaving. She needed me, even if she was too afraid to admit it.
My phone buzzed in my pocket and I growled to myself as I dug it out, "What?" I sighed.
"Bro, where are you? What happened?" Emmett sounded drunk and worried.
"I'm driving." I answered simply.
He sighed down the phone, "Are you going home? Where's Bella?"
"I don't know where I'm going, Emmett," I snapped, "And she's at the hospital." I ended the call and threw my phone onto the passenger seat. The last thing anyone needed was me crashing because of that idiot calling me.
Go back.
My stomach turned. I should go back. What kind of person would I be if I didn't?
I veered to the left, turning the car around. Fuck it. I was going back. I put my foot down on the gas and drove back to the hospital. Fuck my dad. My Bella needed me.
Within minutes I was back at the hospital. I ran up the stairs, it would be quicker than waiting on the elevator.
The ward was quiet. Too quiet.
I scanned the waiting area at the nurses station looking for her. She wasn't there.
"Can I help you?" A nurse asked, staring up at me. She looked exhausted.
I cleared my throat, "Bella Swan. I just dropped her off here ten minutes ago."
The nurse nodded, "I remember. Unfortunately I can't divulge any information to you, since you're not family." She replied, turning back to her paperwork.
Rude.
"Where's my dad?" I was positively seething.
She sighed, exasperated, "In his office."
I forced a smile and stormed off in the direction of my dad's office, but I wasn't going in. Fuck no. I was going to find Bella.
I rounded the corner, peering into every little window to the patient's rooms, hoping to see her. I had no such luck.
"Where the fuck are you, Swan?" I whispered to myself.
Had she left already? No, she couldn't have. If my suspicions were right, she wouldn't have left. She was still here. I knew it.
Realisation dawned on me. She was in my fucking dad's office. That was the only place I hadn't checked.
I silently cursed myself and made my way back to the nurses station, taking a seat in the waiting area. Fuck my father. I couldn't care less if he saw me.
My leg bounced against the linoleum, what was taking so long? I just wanted to see her, make sure she was okay and leave her to it.
Will you leave her though?
If that's what she wanted. I hid my face in my hands and exhaled loudly.
"Son?"
I snapped my head up and found my dad staring at me.
"Where is she?" I hissed, standing up, "Where is she?"
My dad sighed and gestured for me to sit back down, "I don't think you barging in is the right way to go here, Edward." He looked calm, too calm for my liking.
"I just want to know if she's okay." I whispered, my eyes wandering around the room.
"You should go home, son. Leave Miss Swan alone for now." He patted my shoulder and smiled softy, all anger from before had dissolved.
I shook my head, "No." I stood up, "I'm not going home." I marched toward my father's office and pushed open the door.
"Edward!" My dad warned as he followed me.
I stepped inside and my heart fell. She was curled up in a ball in one of the chairs, tissues everywhere.
"Bella." I whispered softly. I made my way over to her and knelt in front of her.
She sniffed and wiped her eyes, "What…what are you doing here?" She sounded so broken. So defeated.
"Edward." My dad warned again, "Leave Miss Swan alone."
I shot my dad a pointed look, "No." I turned my attention back to Bella and wiped a tear from her cheek.
"He's…" She took a deep breath through her sobs, "He's gone."
I scooped her up in my arms and sat down, tucking her against my chest, "It's okay." I whispered.
My dad sighed deeply and shook his head before leaving the two of us alone.
"How did this happen?" She sobbed to herself, hiding her face in my chest.
I rubbed her back gently, allowing her to grieve. The sound of her crying broke my heart. It was the most agonising sound in the world.
"He was fine. He was going to be fine." She choked quietly.
"Shhh." I whispered. I hugged her closer and kissed the top of her head, "It's okay."
I rocked her gently, trying to calm her painful cries. It took a while for her to calm down. Her sobs quietened until all she was doing was sniffing and coughing.
I continued rubbing her back as I rocked her. Her grip on my shirt relaxed as she settled into unconsciousness.
I brushed her hair from her face and smiled softly. She was simply angelic. I wished I could take her pain away, make it better. I kissed forehead gently and stood slowly, Bella in my arms.
Somehow, I managed to open the door.
My dad raised a brow when he saw me, "What are you doing?" He hissed.
I narrowed my eyes at him, was he blind? "I'm taking her home." I whispered back. I didn't want to wake her.
"And how are you going to do that?" My father asked. The rage was back in his eyes.
I swallowed thickly. How was I going to do that?
Put her in the backseat, dumbass.
My father sighed deeply and rubbed his forehead, "Take her home, Edward. And then you go straight home, do you hear me? Let the poor girl grieve."
I nodded and made my way to my car, placing Bella in backseat.

To my surprise, she didn't wake. I left her in the car as I made my way to her front door. There had to be a spare key here somewhere. I lifted a plant pot that was sitting by the door and smirked when I found what I was looking for. I quickly unlocked the door and made my way back to her. I scratched the back of my head as I stared at her. I got her in the car, how the fuck do I get her out?I lifted her arms and wrapped them around my neck, gently lifting her from the car. "It's a good job you're light as a feather." I chuckled quietly to her.
I kicked the car door shut and carried her into the house and up the stairs. I knew which room was hers immediately.
Yeah, cause you sit outside like a creep.
Once I opened her door, I lay her down on her bed, covering her with her blanket that was folded at the bottom of the bed.
I knelt down beside her and smiled as she slept, "Goodnight, Swan." I whispered, kissing her forehead. I shut her door quietly, sneaked down the stairs and locked her front door. I posted the key in the door and returned to my car.
Go home.
I should go home. But I didn't want to leave her.
Go home, Cullen.
And I did. I fucking went home.

I sat in the kitchen the next morning, staring blankly at my breakfast.
Emmett groaned loudly as he slowly lifted his spoon, "I'm dying." He complained.
"No, you're not." I mumbled, pushing my bowl away.
"My head is killing me. I didn't think I drank that much."
I rolled my eyes, "You drank Alice's kitchen dry." I replied, standing up, "I'm surprised at you."
Emmett groaned again, "How's Bella?" He asked, "You never told me what happened."
I pursed my lip, staring out of the kitchen window, "Nothing happened." I lied, "Nothing I can tell you anyway."
"So, you don't know then? I thought you gave her a ride to the hospital?"
"I did." I answered simply, "But dad sent me home."
Emmett nodded, "Yeah, I vaguely remember calling you and you said you were driving."
I sighed deeply and nodded, "Yeah."
"Oh good, you're both awake." My mom smiled, going for the coffee, "Did you enjoy the party last night?" She asked, pouring herself a cup.
Emmett nodded, "Yeah."
"A bit too much." She laughed, kissing the top of Emmett's head, "What about you, Edward?" She turned to me and smiled widely.
I shrugged, "It was okay."
She nodded and grabbed a banana from the fruit bowl, "I'm late for yoga." She stated, "I'll be home in a few hours. I don't know about your dad." She kissed my cheek and left, accidentally slamming the door on her way out.
Emmett winced and rubbed his forehead, "Is there any aspirin in this house?"
I rolled my eyes, "In the bathroom." I responded, walking by him, "Go to McDonalds or something."
I climbed the stairs back to my bedroom and threw myself down on the couch. I hadn't heard from Bella yet. No text, no phonecall. Was she okay?
She's probably busy planning her father's funeral.
I rubbed my eyes, of course. How could I forget?
Part of me wanted to go to her house, check on her, make sure she was okay. The other part was hesitant. My father would probably go crazy at me. Bella was…was what? Just my friend? I shook my head at myself, fuck only knows what she was but I knew sitting about doing fuck all while she was in pain was not an option.
I made my way back down the stairs and grabbed my keys.
"Where are you going?"
I turned around and raised my eyebrows, "You already know." .
My father shook his head, "Edward, leave the girl alone. She has a lot to deal with right now."
I stared incredulously at him, "Are you serious? I just want to make sure she's okay."
He sat his coffee cup down on the table and placed a hand on my shoulder. He looked exhausted. He was still in his work clothes which meant he must've only just came home.
"Edward." He said again, "Miss Swan wants to be left alone. This is a very difficult time for her."
"Why do you care?" I spat, shaking his hand off me, "Is this how it goes? You lost a patient so now you're done with the situation?"
Anger flashed in his eyes, "I can't do anything, Edward. It's not my place to get involved with other people's personal affairs, especially not a patient's family."
I rolled my eyes, "Whatever."
My father took a step back and lifted his cup, "I can't get emotionally involved. Neither should you. She is your classmate. By all means, give her your well wishes, but don't harass her." He muttered, walking through to his study.
I narrowed my eyes. Classmate. She was more to me than a fucking classmate to me. Not that he would ever realise that.

I sat in my car, across the street from her house. My father's words ringing loudly in my head.
"Don't harass her."
Is that what I'd be doing? Harassing her? She had no one. No family, as far as I knew. And it wasn't like Rosalie or Alice was going to visit. Did they even know?
I opened the car door and stepped out. I knocked lightly on the front door and stepped back, praying she would answer.
"Come on, Bella." I mumbled to myself. I tried the door. It was locked.
She's probably away out.
Bullshit. She was in there, hiding away.
"Bella!" I shouted, knocking the door again.
Still no answer. I pinched the bridge of my nose and inhaled slowly. Was it too much to ask for?
Stop thinking about yourself.
I scoffed and left the porch, walking around to the back. I peered in through the kitchen window. There she was. Wrapped in a blanket on the couch. She stared blankly at the wall, her mouth moving quickly as she was talking to herself.
I knocked lightly on the window, hoping to catch her attention.
Bella turned her head and narrowed her eyes, "Go away." She snapped, standing up. She looked absolutely dreadful. Her hair was a mess, her eyes red and swollen. She looked pale, paler than usual.
I shook my head, "I just want to make sure you're okay."
Okay, I know. I was borderline stalker.
"I don't want your sympathy, Edward."
"You accepted it yesterday!" I hissed back.
She flipped me off and stormed away, probably up the stairs. I leaned my forehead against the window and closed my eyes.
Should've listened to your dad.
I know. I know I should've. I had just made everything a million times worse. But I had to see it for myself.
Curse me and my fucking sharp tongue.

Monday was a drag. Nothing really happened. Alice and Emmett were full of questions. "Where's Bella?" "What happened on Saturday?" "Was it her dad?" "Is he okay?"
I leaned my forehead on my arms on the table and closed my eyes as they chatted through lunch.
"Bro?" Emmett nudged me lightly and gave me a small smile, "Everything okay?"
I nodded, "Fine."
"Seriously, where is Bella?" Rosalie asked, eyeing me.
I shrugged. I wasn't her keeper.
Rosalie sighed and rolled her eyes, "You were the last one to see her."
I scoffed, "So?"
"So, why did she go to the hospital?"
I clenched my teeth. I was done playing twenty questions, "If you're all so concerned about her, why don't you go see her? Or call her? Or fucking text her? Instead of bothering me!"
Rosalie's eyes widened and Alice leaned into Jasper.
"Sorry." Rosalie mumbled, turning her attention back to her rabbit food.
Jasper frowned at me, his eyes full of concern. I shook my head at him and stood up, "I'm going for a smoke." I stated. I was starting to feel claustrophobic. This wasn't my thing to tell. I wasn't prepared to tell my friends, her friends, that her father passed. It was to come from her. When she was ready.
I stood outside, breathing in fresh air. I needed to relax. I needed to detach myself. She wanted me to leave her alone, yet a-fucking-gain. Why couldn't she just accept that I was here? That I was prepared to help her? Comfort her and love her?
"You love her, don't you?"
I turned and sighed at Jasper, "What?"
Jasper scoffed and walked over to me, leaning against the wall next to me, "I said, you love her, don't you?"
I frowned at his words. Was it that obvious? I had tried so hard to keep anyone from knowing.
"I…" I started. No words came to me.
Jasper smirked and looked away from me, "I saw the way you looked at her the other night," He explained, "But I think there's more to it than that."
I stared at my feet and chewed the inside of my gum, I wasn't spilling any secrets to him.
"Ed." Jasper sighed, "Be careful." He warned.
I looked up at him, "Be careful?" I frowned, "What do I have to be careful about?"
Jasper smiled softly, "Be careful with her heart." He patted my shoulder and went back inside. Who knew Jasper was such a soppy guy.
Be careful with her heart.
I snorted at myself. I could've used that advice on Bella's first day here.
Still, I had a feeling I wouldn't be seeing Bella for a while. Something didn't sit right with me.

I stared at my father from across the dining table. He was sitting there like nothing had happened. Completely unaffected by Saturday's events.
My mom chatted animatedly to Emmett about Rosalie and baseball and other shit. I wasn't really paying attention to them.
My father lifted his glass of wine and gave me a tight smile, "Everything okay, son?"
I nodded, "Fine." I replied through clenched teeth.
Look at us, playing happy families when Bella had no one.
My father sat his cutlery on his plate and cleared his throat, "I have an announcement to make."
I rolled my eyes at his theatrics.
My mom smiled, "What's that, honey?"
"I'm cutting my hours down at the hospital. I'll be home more now."
I snorted at him and stood, pushing my chair away, "Great." I couldn't hide the venom in my voice.
My father sighed, "It is great, Edward. We can spend more time together as a family."
My mom took my father's hand and squeezed it gently, "That's great." She murmured.
Emmett grinned, "Yeah, dad. Great."
I rolled my eyes, "Whatever." I lifted my plate and took it over to the sink.
"What's wrong, Edward?" My mom asked.
I shook my head, "Nothing. Just the timing is awfully ironic."
"That's enough!" My father snapped, standing up, "Now, I am sorry about what's happened with your classmate but I am not going to be treated like this in my own home. Do you hear me Edward?"
I crossed my arms and leaned against the kitchen unit, glaring at my father, "Classmate? Classmate?" I shook my head at his words.
Emmett cleared his throat, "What classmate? What's going on?"
My mom sighed and looked over at Emmett, "Just leave it alone, sweetie."
"What do you want me to say, huh? What would you like me to do? Because honestly, Edward, I'm running low on options here." My dad stared up at the ceiling, trying to remain calm.
"How about acting like you give a shit." I spat back. I went to walk by him but he grabbed my arm, "I do give a shit." He retorted.
I pulled my arm free, "Whatever." I muttered, marching toward the stairs. He was a great pretender.
I slammed the door to my bedroom and flopped down on my bed, burying my face in my pillow.
Was I too emotionally invested? Is that why I was so irrational?
I rolled over, staring up at the ceiling. This was killing me. All I wanted to do was hold her, wipe her tears away, let her know I'm here.
She knows.
Does she? Does she really though? All she seems to be doing is pushing me away. I'm not going anywhere though. I'm here to fucking stay and she just had to accept it.
Emmett knocked on my door and stepped inside, "What the fuck is going on?"
I sat up and stared at him, "It's Bella." I breathed. I couldn't keep it in any longer. I couldn't keep tiptoeing around it, especially with the way my dad and I had been fighting over it.
Emmett sat down next to me, leaning his elbows on his thighs, "What about her?"
"I took her to the hospital on Saturday night," I began, "Dad had called her, so I gave her a ride and when we got there, Dad told me to go home."
Emmett frowned, but nodded, "Okay?"
"I left but I ended up going back. And Bella…" I looked away from him, setting my eyes on the floor, "Her dad died on Saturday." I whispered, "And she…she was so fucking broken, Emmett."
Emmett exhaled through his nose and shook his head, "Fuck."
"Yeah."
"And that's who dad's been referring to? The classmate is Bella?"
I nodded in response.
"Well," Emmett scratched the back of his neck, "He's right in a way. I mean she is our classmate, but she's your-our friend."
I growled inwardly. She's more than a friend to me, but he didn't need to know that.
"What I don't get is why you and dad are fighting about it." Emmett frowned.
"He wants me to leave her alone." I leaned back against my pillows, "And I can't do that."
"Why?" Emmett asked, tilting his head to the side.
"She has no one, Emmett." I muttered, "She moved from fucking Washington for Christ's sake. All her friends are there. All her family. I don't even know where her mom is."
Emmett sighed and stood up, "It's not your place to be worrying about shit like that."
"Don't tell anyone." I warned, "I'm sure Bella would want it to come from her."
Emmett nodded in understanding, "Sure thing."
I gave him a small smile and lay back down.
This was the longest Monday of my life. And it was only the fucking beginning.

I gave her Tuesday. I gave her the full fucking day and it lit a fire under my ass.
You're not her boyfriend.
No, but I could be. I wasn't about to let her hide away from me for another day.
I slammed my car door and quickly made my way to her front door, knocking loudly. She was going to answer this door and let me the fuck in.
"Bella!" I shouted, "Let me in."
I tried the door and like last time, it was locked.
"Damn it, Swan! Let me in!"
I heard the lock click, and the door opened slightly. I breathed a sigh of relief and stepped inside.
Bella shuffled her way back to the couch and sat down, curling her legs underneath her.
"Jesus Christ." I whispered, scanning the kitchen.
Empty Bourbon bottles littered the kitchen island, and an overflowing ashtray full of joints sat beside the sink.
"Get a good look?" Bella muttered sourly.
I made my way over to her and sat on the chair opposite, "Talk to me." I urged.
Bella sighed, "I have nothing to say."
"Come on, Bella. Don't push me away." I clasped my hands together and watched her eyes fill with tears.
"I don't understand why you're here." She whispered, "I don't understand why you can't leave me to my own devices. I want to be left alone."
"But Bella-"
"My dad is dead, Edward." She hissed through her tears, "Fucking dead, okay? And nothing you can say or do is going to change that."
I swallowed the lump in my throat and nodded, "I know, I just-"
"You were just thinking about yourself." She wiped her eyes and smirked at herself, "As usual. You never think of anyone but yourself."
"I came here to see you. I came here to make sure you're okay, I've been going crazy, wondering how you are."
Bella chewed the inside of her mouth and nodded, "You were going crazy. That just proves my point."
"I didn't come here to argue, Bella." I muttered.
"Well, I don't know what else to say to you." She hugged a cushion to her chest and leaned her cheek against the fabric, staring off.
"Do you…do you have anyone helping you to, you know, organise things?" I asked.
Her eyes narrowed as she turned to face me, "No. My mother is dead and my dad had no brothers
and sisters."
"Oh." I didn't know what else to say. She was making it so difficult, "I'm sorry."
She raised her eyebrows and exhaled loudly.
I leaned back in the chair, as she stared at the wall. We remained silent for what felt like a century.
"He was going to be fine." She whispered.
I frowned, "What?"
"My dad. He was going to be fine." She shook her head and looked up at the ceiling, "His cancer was going away. Dr Cullen was so positive everything would be fine." She scoffed, "Isn't it ironic?" She turned her attention back to me and leaned forward.
"What?"
"How the one thing that was supposed to kill him, didn't." She smirked and shook her head, "Fucking heart attack."
She started laughing quietly at herself, "A fucking heart attack!"
I nodded, "Yeah." I didn't know what to say. She had cracked. It was obvious. Her laughter abruptly stopped as she turned to stare tiredly at me, "Do you want forty thousand dollars?"
I blinked in surprise. What the fuck? "Um…what?"
"My dad's life insurance." She explained, "I don't know what to do with it. He's already paid for his funeral. So I have forty thousand dollars that I don't want."
I cleared my throat, "I'm sure you can give it to charity or something if you don't want it."
She smiled sweetly, "I thought I was by asking you."
Wow.
I held my hands up and stood, "I'm out, Bella." I couldn't continue to sit there being berated. I couldn't stand being pushed away like this.
Bella whimpered and slumped down in the couch, making my heart hurt.
I sighed and returned to her, putting my arm around her and pulling her close. I couldn't leave her.
"I just don't know what to do." She whispered.
I kissed the top of her head, "I know." I replied quietly, "I know."
She nuzzled into my neck, "I can't do this."
"You can." I whispered, "You're not alone, Swan. You have me."
She pulled back and frowned up at me, "I do?"
I nodded and gave her a small smile, "You do. For as long as you need me."
She smiled sadly and leaned her head against my chest, "I suppose I can live with that."
I chuckled quietly, "I'm glad."

We sat like that for hours, talking about nothing and everything. I was doing a good job of taking her mind off it. That was until I had to leave. She walked me to the door and forced a smile.
It made me not want to go. She shut the door and locked it, leaving me standing outside on the porch.
Tomorrow is another day. And I hoped it would be a good day.