48

Isabela woke up to an empty bed. She dressed quickly, and slid down the bannister. Hawke was at her writing desk at the bottom of the stairs, with a few cases packed by the fireplace.

"You're up early. Didn't sleep well, I take it?" Isabela asked coldly, eyeing Hawke off for any signs of her misdeed.

Hawke looked up at her and smiled. "Not everybody had a hangover to sleep off, my dear."

Isabela descended the staircase sulkily. She'd only gotten so drunk the night before because she knew Hawke intended to run off and cheat on her.

"What are you writing?" she pressed, as she took a peek over Hawke's shoulder. She breathed in the woman's scent. She didn't smell like she'd been with a man. She smelled like a mixture between herself and Isabela.

Hawke finished off the paper with a signature, her bracelet sparkling on her wrist. Isabela felt herself instantly soften at the sight of it.

"It's a legal directive. I'm gifting the estate to Aveline and Donnic. It just seems wasteful to have this huge house, sitting here empty."

"That's a generous gift Hawke, are you sure?"

Hawke nodded. "Aveline's been a sister to me. I've never had a truer friend. They're going to need the space soon, and if I don't give it to her, my prick of a brother will make a claim."

Isabela laughed. "So you won't be losing any sleep about missing Carver while we're at sea? You know, that offer I made you both the first time I met you still stands. It might improve the relationship?"

Hawke got a thoughtful look on her face, searching for the memory. A look of realisation hit her. "Suggest bringing my brother into our bed once more, and there will be no more whipped cream in your future…"

Isabela closed her mouth immediately.

Hawke pressed her seal into the wax of the envelope and blew on it to dry, then stood, facing Isabela. Isabela studied Hawke's face. There was no guilt, no shame, no hint of a lie. Maybe she didn't go through with it? Isabela thought hopefully, wondering when she became so possessive.

"I need to drop this off at the Viscount's office, then I've got some last minute issues to deal with at the Gallows. Why don't you go to the tavern and pack the last of your things, and I'll meet you at the ship?"

Isabela rolled her eyes. "More umpiring between Orsino and Meredith? I wish they'd just get a room. I mean, it's always helped us settle our differences. Imagine the amount of frustration they could work off in one hour in bed."

Hawke covered her eyes. "Ugh, thanks for that. I'll not sleep for a week courtesy of that image."

"Don't worry, I can think of other ways to relax you…" Isabela whispered, putting one hand on Hawke's lower back and bringing her in close, while the other hand traced a line up her thigh. Whatever Hawke's transgression had been, she intended to forgive it. It was only fair, Hawke had forgiven far more.

Hawke spun out of the embrace. "As much as I would love to be relaxed right now, we both have a lot to do. The sooner we finish our business, the sooner we can board the ship."

Isabela leaned in and gently nipped at Hawke's lower lip, dragging her teeth across the soft flesh. "You're right. We'd better save ourselves. I'll be giving you your first case of sea legs tonight. Don't forget, while we're on the ship, you're under my command. And I will be working you hard."

Hawke gave Isabela a long kiss, running her hands all over the pirate's body, "As long as I'm the only one you're working, I'm fine with that. Now, get going, Captain. We're still on dry land, and I have things to do." She gave Isabela a firm smack on the rear, and headed out the door.

Isabela had just finished packing her case, when the walls of the tavern rumbled, and she heard the explosion. She grabbed her things and found Varric.

"Andraste's dimpled butt-cheeks, what was that?!" Varric exclaimed, his eyes wide with worry.

Isabela felt panicked. "You don't think the Qunari have come back, do you?"

"Great ancestors, I hope not… "

"Varric, go to the Alienage. Kitten will be scared. Stay with her until I can figure out what's going on. I need to find Hawke."

The two friends shared a look, before heading off in opposite directions. Isabela fought against the crowd of people that were streaming into Lowtown from the Hightown bridge. Amidst the chaos, she could see the distinctive orange hair of Aveline near the Viscount's Way. She ran towards her.

The Captain of the Guard was with Hawke, who was on the ground, cradling the bloodied body of a young girl in Circle robes.

"Hawke?" Isabela asked gently.

"Why would he bring them? Why bring children to confront the Knight-Commander? This is a nightmare..." she muttered to herself.

Isabela raised her eyes to Aveline in confusion.

Aveline responded. "That mad fool Anders has started a war. He went on some rant about mage's rights, then he blew up the sodding Chantry. The Knight-Commander has invoked the Right of Annulment, and the templars are killing every mage in Kirkwall. I only just got Hawke away in time, but they're after her."

"Anders did what?! Where is he?" Isabela demanded looking around.

Hawke looked up for the first time, and held out a blood stained hand. "I made him the martyr that he always wanted to be."

"Shit, Hawke, we need to get you out of here. Let's go to the ship now!" Isabela said, grabbing Hawke's hand and pulling.

Hawke resisted, staying on the ground. "No, Bela. I'm not running away. I just had a 12 year old girl die in my arms. Most of Kirkwall's Circle is made up of apprentices - children. I won't leave them."

Isabela looked desperately towards Aveline, who tried her hand at persuasion. "Hawke, I can't protect you forever, the templars are coming for you. You can't help anybody if you're dead."

Hawke gently lay the child's body down, and stood. "I don't want you to protect me, Aveline. You've built a life for yourself in Kirkwall, a good life. I won't ask you to compromise it by fighting templars for me. Go to Lowtown. Keep the civilians safe."

Aveline looked stricken. "Hawke, no. My place is with you."

Hawke shook her head. "No, it's not. Your place is defending innocent people. That's not me. Please, go. You've been my dearest friend, Aveline, but this is not your mess."

Aveline's jaw clenched, signalling her defiance. Hawke laid a tender hand upon her armoured belly. "Aveline… think of the baby. Get out of here."

The women shared a look, and Aveline wrapped Hawke up in an embrace. Without another word, Aveline ran in the direction of Lowtown, leaving Isabela and Hawke alone.

"Umm… what? The big girl is having a baby? I was starting to think she didn't have the required parts…"

Hawke gave a small nod. "It's still early, but yes, they're having a baby. And I'll be damned if one more innocent is hurt because of me."

"No innocents are getting hurt because of you, Hawke. I'm getting you out of here, now."

"No. This is my fault…" Hawke hissed.

Isabela grabbed her hand. "No it's not, Anders did this. Please, can we talk about it on the ship? We need to go."

Hawke shook her head. "You're not listening. I did this. The explosion. I planned it, I gathered the ingredients, I augmented the spell. We've been working on it together for a year. But this is… wrong…"

Isabela searched Hawke's face. "I need you to explain this to me, Hawke. I don't believe that you would do this."

Hawke hung her head. "Since you left, I've been working in the mage underworld. I've been helping other mages escape, aiding their families, and killing templars. Lots of them. The explosion was supposed to take place in Templar Hall. We wanted to take out Meredith, and as many of her men as possible. With the Order crippled, the Circle could have risen up and escaped."

"Then you're innocent. The Chantry was destroyed, not Templar Hall."

"I'm not innocent, I'm just fucking gullible. Anders betrayed me. He never wanted to free the Kirkwall Circle, he wanted to start a world war. After what he's done, there will never be peace between mages and templars. I was fooled by him, and now the blood of Kirkwall's mages is on my hands…"

"I didn't think you even liked Anders? Why would you let him talk you into all of this?"

Hawke looked down at the ground, fiddling with her fingers "Look at what my life was, Isabela. I had no family, no job, nothing... Anders gave me a purpose. I don't expect you to understand, but I needed it."

Isabela searched the face of her lover. "I... do understand. I have a purpose now, too. I have you."

Hawke nodded stiffly, avoiding eye contact so that Isabela wouldn't see the tears brimming in her eyes.

Isabela needed a moment to take it all in, glancing at Hawke's blood stained hand. "So… you stabbed him for betraying you?"

Hawke closed her eyes. "I cut his throat. Because I was angry. He broke every promise he made to me. Hundreds of our people will die today, because of him. This wasn't what I agreed to, what I've spent the last few years of my life working to achieve."

A thought struck Isabela. "You would've bombed Templar Hall, even though your brother would've been in there?"

Hawke met her eyes. "Anders promised me that he would give me time. Time for you and I to get away, and time for me to send word to my friends in the Order. They probably wouldn't have listened, but it was worth any sacrifice. You don't understand what it's been like since the Viscount died. I would have done anything to rid Kirkwall of Meredith's rule. I'm sorry if that sounds cold."

Isabela paused for a moment, looking Hawke up and down. It suddenly clicked in her mind. "You… weren't having an affair with Anders while I was gone, and you didn't sneak out to have sex with him last night, did you? You were seeing him about this…"

Hawke's face shot up and she screwed her nose up. "An affair? Sex? With Anders? Holy Maker, no! Never! Why would you even think that?"

"I overheard some of your conversation at the tavern. I just assumed…"

Hawke touched Isabela's face. "That's why you were acting so strange at home. I would never do that to you, I love… being with you. I just needed to change the plans a bit. When we originally worked on this, you weren't in the picture."

Isabela nodded slowly. "So... What was the plan, if I hadn't have come back? If there was no ship. What was your escape route?"

Hawke shifted uncomfortably, but held the gaze. "I would have fought the templars until the last mage had evacuated the Gallows. I... imagine I would have died in the effort."

Isabela rubbed her face, overcome by emotion. "I'm so glad I came back, Hawke. I can't even imagine... Is this what you meant about your life being complicated? You went and became a revolutionist while I was gone? Why didn't you just tell me?"

Hawke crossed her arms. "Why would I? So that you could tell me how stupid I am, how the Circle's problems aren't mine, and that I shouldn't involve myself in anything that doesn't get me gold or giggles? Come on Isabela, you never would've understood."

Isabela hesitated. "Maybe I wouldn't have understood, but if it was this important to you… I could've… I don't know. Helped you?"

Hawke shrugged her shoulders. "Well, I guess it was just too awkward to tell you…"

Isabela bit her lip, hearing her own words echoed back to her, three years later. Hawke had been lying, and hiding things from her. They were more alike than either of them had ever realised.

She looked at her lover, whose face was a portrait of shame and regret. "This doesn't change anything. I'm right here with you. We need to set sail immediately."

"You… still want to be with me?"

Isabela pointed to the blood stained bracelet on Hawke's left wrist. "You're mine, remember? I'm not going to abandon you because you've done something crazy."

Hawke looked at Isabela, adoration shining in her eyes. "You're amazing, I hope you know that. But you need to go to the ship without me. I'll catch up."

"You've got to be sodding joking, Hawke. No, I'm taking you with me now" Isabela shot back sternly.

Hawke looked her in the eye. "Set sail, Isabela. I will catch up. I can talk the Knight-Commander down, I know it. But that boat needs to be out on the water, in case I need a quick getaway."

"Hawke…"

Hawke grabbed Isabela and kissed her deeply. "You mean everything to me, I hope you know that. Now, go! Please. I'll be there soon."

Hawke turned her back, and headed towards the Gallows, leaving Isabela standing alone.