A/N: This story has no Beta. All spelling errors and mistakes are my own.
I'm SO sorry guys for taking this long! There's no excuse, I've just been really busy.
In a few days I'll upload the next chapter to make it up to you.
Chapter Playlist: "Call Me When You're Sober" - Evanescence / "Second & Sebring" - Of Mice And Men.
EDWARD POV
I stared at the ceiling above my bed, contemplating everything. The weekend passed just like any other. Boring and uninteresting. And I never went near Bella's. I couldn't face her. Who knows what I might've said to her. She called me over and over, leaving voicemails. I probably should've listened to them. But I didn't. They're still unlistened to, taking up memory space on my phone.
"Edward." My dad called, knocking on my door.
"Yeah?" I sat at the edge of my bed, head in hands.
The door opened, "Are you going to school today? Emmett's waiting in the kitchen for you."
I had to. It was Wednesday. I didn't go Monday or Tuesday. I had to catch up on whatever I missed.
I sighed and lifted my head to look at my dad, "I guess." I stood and grabbed my bag.
"Son," He put his hand on my shoulder, "Be careful."
I nodded and made my way down the stairs. I made the choice of telling my dad everything. Everything.
"Where have you both been?" My dad put his book down and lifted his glasses off his face.
Emmett cleared his throat, "Glendale."
I clenched my jaw.
Nice going, jerk face.
"What? Why?" My father stood and made his way over to us, "What's in Glendale?"
Emmett shrugged, "It's Edward's story. Not mine."
"Thanks." I growled. How the fuck was I going to explain that?
My dad frowned, watching me carefully, "Edward? What's going on?"
Emmett slapped my back, "I'm off to bed." He practically ran up the stairs and into his bedroom. Fucking pussy.
I should just tell him, that way Bella knew I cared. She would get help, support. There was no way I could handle it all myself.
I took a deep breath, "Bella was in Glendale today." I mumbled, chickening out.
The confusion on my father's face was almost hysterical, "What?"
I rolled my eyes and stalked into the kitchen, "She was in Glendale getting…" I shook my head and took a seat at the dining table.
Just do it. She needs help. You can't help her.
"Getting what?" My father sat across from me and clasped his hands together.
I knew if I told him, I would regret it. Bella would never trust me again. My anger and quick wit had just made everything 1000x worse.
"Ever since Mr Swan died…she's been…" I ran a hand through my hair. This was harder than I thought, "She's on drugs, okay?"
My father's eyes widened for a split second before he composed himself.
"Oxy to be exact. Jacob Black is her dealer and…" Should I tell him I got in a fight with him?
"And?" He probed.
"And I kinda…got in a fight with him." I shrugged and leaned back in my seat, feigning calm.
My dad's face slowly began turning red as he tried to contain his anger, "You…what?" He hissed quietly.
Tell him everything.
I stared at the table and chewed on my lip, "I just wanted to make sure she was okay, dad."
My dad rubbed his temples and sighed deeply, "Edward, do you have any idea what you have just done?"
I nodded slowly, "Yeah."
"I don't think you do." He hissed, "You got into a fight with a drug dealer!"
"He deserved it!" I retorted, glaring at my father.
His expression softened slightly as he stared at me, "Maybe so, but did you think of the consequences? God Damnit,
Edward!"
"I'll lay low for a while." I shrugged, "There isn't anything to worry about."You have a target on your back now, Edward. You need to be careful from here on out, do you hear me?"
I sighed deeply, "What about Bella? Huh? You want me to just leave her to deal with this steaming pile of shit by herself?"
My dad shook his head, "No." He muttered, "This is why you have to be careful, now more than ever. She's involved in this now. She's probably a target now too." He added sombrely.
I slumped in my seat, "This is so fucked up."
He stood and pushed his chair under the table, "I'm glad you told me about this, son." He said quietly, "I know you care a great deal for this Bella, but you have to remember that your anger sometimes…" He trailed off, shaking his head.
"I know." I whispered, "I know. I can't shake the feeling."
This isn't a soap opera, Cullen.
"What feeling?" My father raised a brow in confusion.
"It's hard to explain." I replied, staring at the table. I couldn't even explain it to myself let alone him.
"Try me."
I took a deep breath and chewed the inside of my cheek, "I fucking love her. I can't…breathe when I'm with her. She makes everything inadequate. Any shit I'm dealing with just melts away when I'm with her." I smiled to myself, imagining I was with her at this very moment. Every fibre in my being ached when I was with her. She was my own personal brand of Heroin.
I looked up at my dad, suddenly embarrassed by my confession, "Why am I even telling you this?" I muttered, standing, "It's not like it matters anyway." I scoffed.
He gave me a small smile, "It does. A great deal."
He was wrong. It didn't matter. The ship has sailed.
Emmett pulled into a parking space and killed the engine, "Are you okay?" He asked, grabbing his books from the back seat.
I nodded and opened the passenger door, "Never better." I slung my bag over my shoulder and stared at the school building.
"I can't believe you told dad everything." Emmett shook his head and locked his car.
"I had no fucking choice." I muttered sourly, "Thanks to you."
I forced my feet to move, carrying me to the entrance of the school.
"Edward!" She shouted. The hair on the back of my neck stood and my heart picked up pace as I turned.
"Bella." I swallowed the lump in my throat and ran my hand through my hair as she made her way to me.
"Thought you were done?" Emmett mumbled, watching me curiously.
You never will be.
"I am." I whispered, "I am."
Emmett sighed and made his way inside.
Bella stood in front of me, staring up at me like a lost puppy.
"What?" I sighed.
Façade.
"Are you okay?" She took hold of my face and began examining me.
I grabbed her wrists, pushing her away from me, "I'm fine!" I growled, "Stay the fuck away from me, Swan."
"But-"
"But nothing." I shook my head and scoffed, "You fucked everything. You could have just told me the truth instead of pulling me along like…" I clenched my jaw, shaking my head. There was no point in dragging this out. I narrowed my eyes at her, "It's over now. I was there for you, I tried to help you. But you didn't want to accept that. We're done. Whatever we were, it's over. You're on your own."
Bella's eyes began to fill with tears and she stared at me. It was too painful to look into her eyes. They were transparent. You could look right into her soul. I could see her fucking heart breaking.
"Edward…" She whispered.
"You need to make up your God damn mind, Swan." I spat, looking away from her, "Call me when you're fucking sober." I clenched my jaw, ignoring the painful knot in my throat and turned my back on her, making my way into school, fighting back my own tears.
Fucking pussy.
I didn't care if that made me a pussy. I had fucking feelings, I had a heart. A heart that was breaking just like hers.
"So, she's back?" Jasper leaned against the locker next to me and smirked, watching students scramble around the corridors.
I shrugged, tapping my foot against the wall, "Yeah."
Jasper slapped my the top of my head, "You fucked it, didn't you?" He hissed, "You ruined it all."
I sighed deeply. Did I really have to explain myself to this asshole?
Leave it alone.
I squared my shoulders and glared at Jasper, "It was already fucked." I retorted, "I've got a fucking target on my back because of that punk Jacob Black." I spat, "I do not need to hear your shitty judgement right now."
Jasper frowned, leaning back against the lockers, "What the fuck are you talking about?"
I rolled my eyes and stepped away from him, "Just forget it." I shook my head.
"No. Tell me." Jasper folded his arms across his chest, "What's going on?"
I chewed on my lip, watching freshmans collecting books from their lockers, "He was asking for it." I told Jasper simply.
His eyes widened, "You didn't. Please tell me you didn't!"
I shrugged, "He was supplying Bella." I turned to look at him and sighed, "And.."
"And what?"
"She fucked him." I ran a hand through my hair and watched Jasper as his expression turned to horror.
"You're kidding, right?"
I scoffed and shook my head, "I don't really want to talk about it, Jasper."
He frowned, deliberating for a moment, "Are you sure though? I mean, did she tell you?"
I closed my eyes, trying to breathe evenly, "No." I responded through clenched teeth, "He told me."
"Fuck." Jasper breathed quietly, "What are you going to do? Other than kick his ass."
I shrugged and opened my eyes, "I have no idea. I'll catch you later." I began walking away from him, to the benches outside hanging my head in defeat. I was defeated.
I made my way outside and sat down on one of the benches, scrolling through my phone.
Listen to them.
I clenched my teeth. I couldn't bring myself to. I couldn't listen to her fucking voicemails. What was the point? It wouldn't change anything.
With a heavy sigh, I put the phone to my ear to listen to the first voicemail.
"Edward…" Bella sobbed, "I'm so sorry you had to find out that way…about Jake and I." There was moment of silence
before she spoke again, "Please call me back."
I deleted it and moved on to the next ones, which consisted of Bella crying again and apologising, begging me to call her.
"It's me again. I swear I'm becoming your stalker or something," She laughed to herself and sniffed, "You have every reason to be angry with me."
I closed my eyes and exhaled slowly, why was I doing this to myself?
"I've probably left you like, I don't know, a thousand messages? I just want to know that you're okay. I can't get
through this without you, Edward. I…I'm sorry."
I moved on to the final voicemail and I couldn't hold back the bile rising in my throat, "Hi. It's me…again." Bella sniffed, "So, uh, I'm guessing you really don't want to talk to me which is fine, I don't blame you. I just wanted to let you know that it's my dad's funeral today, so yeah. I'll try to stop worrying about you since you've so clearly stopped worrying about me."
I pocketed my phone and stared out to the parking lot. My fists clenched at my sides. I scoffed to myself and shook my head. If she really believed I didn't worry for her then she was even more fucked up than I thought. Of course I was worried but she should've accepted that I was there for her. There was only so much I could do.
You weren't there for his funeral...
If anything my thoughts pissed me off more. No fucking shit, Sherlock.
Slumping in my seat, I doodled on my notebook as Mr Banner prattled on about shit I didn't care about. I could feel her staring eyes on me.
Don't turn around.
I took a deep breath and shifted in my seat to stare out of the window.
"Mr Cullen, would you like to graduate?" Mr Banner toward over my desk, glaring at me.
I shrugged indifferently, "I guess."
"Then pay attention please. You're already behind." He muttered, returning to his desk, "As I was saying, blood glucose levels are extremely important…"
I turned my attention back to the window and exhaled quietly. How long until I could get the fuck out of here? How long until I could say 'adios motherfucker'?
I tapped my pen against my notebook, praying for this class to end quickly. I was beginning to feel uncomfortable being in the same class as Bella. I could feel her behind me. I could sense her fear, her adoration, her puppy dog eyes. My stomach churned.
Façade.
Back to square one. Be the biggest dickhead on the planet and get the fuck over her.
The corridors were empty, everyone was at lunch. I didn't feel like sitting with my friends, probably because Bella would be there and all the attention would be on her and I couldn't deal with that. I couldn't be near her.
I opened my locker and stuffed my books inside.
"You look like shit." Jasper chuckled from behind me.
I shut my locker and turned to him, a small smile on my lips, "Yeah?" I scratched the back of my head and shrugged,
"Didn't realise."
Jasper scoffed before clearing his throat. Joking turned into serious very quickly, "Are you going to tell me what happened? Cause Bella's sitting at that table near fucking tears, dude."
I shrugged, "There's not much to tell. She didn't want me help.
"Did she say that?"
I shook my head sadly, "Her actions spoke louder than her words."
Jasper sighed and ran a hand through his blond hair, "You both need to figure your shit out."
"There's too much shit between us. To be honest, I don't even know if we can sort it out."
"Because she fucked Jake? Really?"
I shook my head, "There's more to it than that."
Jasper's brow lifted, "Do tell."
I tilted my head, motioning to the doors, "Let's talk outside."
I knew if I told him, he wouldn't say a word.
Come clean, asshole.
It seemed that's what I was doing lately. Coming clean. Telling everyone my dirty little secrets. First my dad and now Jasper.
Everything?
Everything. Time to tell Jasper everything. From when I first met Bella, to the last conversation we had.
Fucking everything.
A/N: Anyone recognised the line he thinks in Biology? Re-read chapter Chapter 6 - Dirty Little Secret if you don't ;)
I hope everyone enjoyed this chapter. I know it was a short one considering you all have been waiting almost a month for it!
-Becca.