A/N: This story has no Beta. All spelling errors and mistakes are my own.
As promised guys! Enjoy.
Chapter Playlist: "Love Was Made To Break" - Andy Black / "Fireworks" - You Me At Six
Bella POV
I didn't want this to happen. I didn't intend for any of this to happen. I wished I never answered his stupid phonecall because then everything would be okay. We would be okay.
"I wish you would tell that Cullen guy to fuck off." Jake sighed as he leaned against the playground gate.
I shrugged, "He cares about me."
You just realising?
Jake scoffed, "He cares about himself, Bella."
I sighed deeply and raised a brow, "Can you just give me it before he gets here?" I held out my hand, patiently waiting.
"Right here? Infront of all these kids?" Jake shook his head, a smirk playing on his lips, "You really don't give a fuck, do you?"
"It's my new outlook on life." I muttered sourly, dropping my hand.
Jake's arm made its way around my waist, he pulled me close to him, stuffing the bag in the pocket of my hoodie with his other hand, "There's this thing called subtlety…" He whispered, kissing the top of my head.
I gently pulled away from him, "I'm never subtle."
Jake threw his head back laughing, causing me to giggle at his antics. There was something so carefree about his laugh. It almost made me envy him.
"Well hello." The familiar voice stopped out laughing abruptly. I turned, my eyes widening when I saw Emmett and Edward standing infront of us. Emmett grinned, his eyes moving between Jake and I.
"Hi." I mumbled, suddenly embarrassed. How much did Edward see?
Probably all of it.
Jake slung his arm across my shoulders, pulling me against his side. I tensed slightly, this wasn't going to go down well.
Edward's jaw clenched as he sized Jake up before grabbing my hand, "Let's go Bella." He spat, pulling me toward him.
Jake snorted, "You're not her keeper, Edward. She wouldn't want a pussy like you." Oh shit.
If Jake was wise, he'd keep his mouth shut. But I guess we all know that never happened.
"What the fuck did you just say?" Edward growled, making his way toward him.
I had to stop this before shit hit the fan.
Jake rolled his eyes, "Chill man." He pushed Edward away slightly and shook his head. Emmett tensed up beside me, snarling at Jake.
"Both you of stop it. This isn't a pissing contest." My voice was quieter than intended which made me feel like a fucking idiot.
Emmett marched to Edward, placing a hand on his shoulder, "Walk away." He warned.
"Yeah, walk away, Cullen." Jake smirked, "Show everyone how much of a pussy you really are."
Edward grabbed Jake, pushing him up against the wall, his arm constricting Jake's breathing.
I screamed incoherently, trying to tell him to quit it. Edward was making a mistake. A huge fucking mistake.
"You think you're great, huh? Supplying her with shit that fucks with her head?" Edward spat, pressing his arm down on Jake's throat.
Jake clawed at Edward's arm, struggling for breath, swinging his legs around, "She asked…for it…" He choked. My eyes began to well up with tears.
This is your fault.
I know. It's all my fucking fault.
"You leave her the fuck alone, alright?"
"Edward!" Emmett growled, "Fucking leave him."
"This isn't over." Edward muttered venomously before releasing him. I watched as Jake fell to the ground, coughing for breath. I began to go to him, but Emmett held his arm out, blocking me. Edward turned, eyes raging and began making his way toward us.
"Nothing wrong with making someone feel good, Cullen!" Jake called, "In more ways than one."
My heart almost stopped. Please tell me I imagined those words.
Edward stopped and turned to face him, "What?"
He couldn't find out like this. He just couldn't.
My eyes widened in panic, "No. Don't!" I put my hands on his chest, trying to push him back but it was no use.
"Move." He growled quietly.
I obeyed, moving quickly, my eyes focusing on the ground.
Emmett sighed deeply, "Edward, leave it. Someone's gonna end up calling the cops."
"Let them!" Edward growled, crouching down to Jake, "I want to hear it."
He smirked, "You wanna know?" He chuckled, sitting himself up.
"Please stop." I whined. Nothing good would come of this.
You should have told him anyway.
Edward grabbed Jacob by the collar, pulling him up, "Fucking tell me."
"I fucked her." He responded, grinning widely.
A sob escaped me. I covered my mouth with my hand, fighting back bile. I was mortified.
You should be.
"Dude." Emmett sighed deeply.
"I fucked her so good." Jake laughed, "If I were you-"
Edward's fist connected with his face with a loud smack, "You fucker." He spat, standing up. Edward shook his hand, wincing slightly.
My eyes settled on his knuckles, "You're bleeding." I whispered, taking his hand in mine, examining his hand. Blood always made me uneasy, but with Edward I didn't mind. He tore his hand from mine and stared at Emmett. Emmett nodded in answer to an inaudible question.
I started to move, to go to Jake but Emmett shook his head, gently pushing me back.
"Let's go." Emmett placed his hand on the small of my back and walked me to Edward's car.
I glanced over my shoulder to see Jake spitting blood out of his mouth and laughing, "Watch your back, Cullen!" He shouted after us.
I slumped in the back seat, playing at a lose thread on my hoodie.
"Are you crazy?" Emmett whispered to Edward.
"What?"
"You do know you're gonna have a target on your back now." Emmett sighed, shaking his head.
I glanced up to see Edward clenching his fists around the steering wheel, reopening the wounds on his knuckles.
"You okay, Bella?" Emmett asked, turning to face me.
"Yeah." I lied. I was far from it. I had to talk to Edward alone about all of this. I closed my eyes, leaning my head against the cold glass of the window, praying he would forgive me.
Fat chance, Swan.
Edward pulled up outside my house and stopped the car.
I took off my seatbelt and stumbled out of the car, "Thanks." I mumbled, shutting the door.
Edward rolled down his window, holding his hand out, "Give me it." His voice was emotionless. He couldn't even look at me. I bit down hard on my lip, willing the tears that threatened me away. I sighed and reached into my hoodie pocket to retrieve the bag, "That's all he gave me." I whispered, placing the bag into Edward's hand. He rolled his window back up and began to drive away, leaving me standing completely alone.
"Fuck my life." I whispered to myself as I made my way to the porch. I pushed open the front door and sighed deeply. I had just fucked up the one thing that could save me from myself.
I paced my kitchen, phone in hand debating whether or not to call him. Would he even answer?
All you can do is try.
I put the phone to my ear and held my breath. It seemed like forever had passed until I reached his voicemail.
I fought back tears. He really was angry with me.
"Edward…" I croaked, "I'm so sorry you had to find out that way…about Jake and I." I closed my eyes and took a deep calming breath, "Please call me back." I hung up and stared across to the lounge.
Only two hours ago we were lying there together, happy and content.
And then you went and fucked it up.
That's all I seemed to be doing. Everything I touched crumbled away.
Quit it with the self pity.
I wiped my eyes and straightened myself up, mentally slapping myself. I should get a grip. I need to get a grip.
Saturday.
Edward hadn't called me back. I had left too many messages to count last night. I needed him to forgive me.
I dialled his number and held my breath. "Please answer." I whispered. He didn't. I got his stupid fucking voicemail again.
"When I don't answer it means 'fuck off', leave a message and I'll consider calling back."
"It's me again." I mumbled, picking at my duvet cover, " I swear I'm becoming your stalker or something," I laughed quietly to myself and sniffed, "You have every reason to be angry with me." I chewed my lip and lay down on my bed, staring at the ceiling, "I've probably left you like, I don't know, a thousand messages? I just want to know that you're okay." I wanted to make sure he was staying low, all things considered. " I can't get through this without you, Edward. I…I'm sorry." I tossed my phone to the bottom of my bed and buried my face in my pillow. I needed him. He couldn't just leave me alone. I bolted up, realisation dawning on me. What if Jake got to him and that's why he wasn't answering or calling back?
Shake it off, Swan.
I gnawed my bottom lip. I had to call Jake. I had to make sure he wouldn't do anything. I had to protect Edward. None of this was his fault.
I collected my phone and scrolled through my contacts until I found his number.
"What do you want?" His voice was hoarse.
"Jake…are you okay?" I whispered.
His laugh was low, menacing, "Are you fucking serious? Am I okay? Cullen is fucking dead, Bella. You better tell your boyfriend to watch his fucking back."
"Jake please don't." I begged, "This is all my fault if I-"
"Shut up!" He growled down the phone. I choked back a sob. This wasn't going the way I planned. "You better watch your back too, pretty girl." He warned before hanging up.
I covered my mouth with my hand, muffling my sobs. Dread washed over me. This was so fucked up.
Monday.
I stared at my reflection in the bathroom mirror and frowned. I hadn't slept in what felt like years. Still no word from Edward either. I was beginning to go fucking crazy.
You have bigger things to worry about.
Today's my father's funeral. I had to focus on that and only that.
I left the bathroom and went into my bedroom, searching for something to wear. I settled on a plain white shirt and a black skirt. Plain and simple.
I had to be at the crematorium before eleven. Some of the officers from Forks PD were going to be there and I had to make nice and engage in small talk. All I wanted to do was say goodbye and go back home. I didn't have the energy to be social, especially with people I didn't know.
My head was fuzzy, my throat was dry. I needed something to get me through this.
I ransacked my drawers, hunting for anything that could pick me up.
"Come on." I whined to myself, pulling clothes out.
You need help.
I needed something to make the pain go away. I needed something to make me forget Edward didn't give a fuck anymore. I needed something to make me feel numb about everything. I continued hunting, but to no avail. I slumped against my bed and hid my face in my hands.
Deep breaths.
Deep fucking breaths. I slowly rocked back and forth, trying to ignore the empty dread at the bottom of my stomach.
I lifted my phone, one more call. If he didn't answer, I'll get the message and leave him alone.
Voicemail again. This time I didn't stop my tears from falling.
"Hi. It's me…again." I sniffed, "So, uh, I'm guessing you really don't want to talk to me which is fine, I don't blame you. I just wanted to let you know that it's my dad's funeral today, so yeah. I'll try to stop worrying about you since you've so clearly stopped worrying about me."
I didn't know what to expect to be honest, but I thought he would at least care.
I stood, staring at my father's coffin. There was nothing in there. Just an empty shell of a man who meant the world to me. Just a reminder of how things can end so quickly. In just three hours.
"Miss Swan?"
I turned to find one of my father's colleagues smiling sympathetically.
"Hi." I cleared my throat and forced a smile.
"I'm so very sorry for your loss. Chief Swan was a great man." The man nodded to myself and took my hand, "I hope you find peace." He smiled softly and went to take his seat.
I took a deep breath and looked around the small room in the crematorium to the faces of the officers I didn't know. I felt alienated at my own father's cremation. I felt alone. There was no one here to comfort me. There was no one here to take me home and hold me.
My eyes fell on the flag draped over his coffin. Stars and Stripes.
"We are ready to begin now, Miss Swan." The Funeral Commander nodded at me and cleared his throat.
I quickly took my seat and started shredding the tissue in my lap.
"First of all, thank you all for gathering today to say goodbye to Chief Charles Swan…"
I closed my eyes, imagining my mom beside me. She would know what to say and do on a day like today. She would be strong enough for the both of us.
I felt someone take my hand and I smiled to myself. He showed. He actually came.
My eyes opened and the disappointment I felt was too much when I saw Alice beside me.
She smiled softly and squeezed my hand gently.
"How...?" I whispered.
"I read the paper." She whispered back.
I nodded and took a deep breath, focusing my attention to my father's coffin.
"And now, a few words from the Chief's daughter, Isabella." The Funeral Commander stepped back from the coffin and motioned toward me.
I had completely forgotten about this part. I hadn't prepared anything. I slowly stood up and tentatively made my way to the head of his coffin.
"Um…" I stared down at my feet, trying to muster the words together, "My dad was a great guy, I'm sure all of you already knew that." I smiled softly and focused my attention to the man who wished me well. He put me at ease, strangely. "There are no words to describe the pain and loneliness I feel now that he's not physically with me, but I know that he's still around somewhere."
I shifted uncomfortably and chewed my lip, "My dad took pride in his work and when he had to leave it behind, it must've been the hardest thing for him to do. He valued each and every one of his colleagues, his friends and most importantly his family. He'll be missed greatly by the Forks community and by me."
I placed my hand on the top of his coffin and smiled sadly, "I love you, Dad." I whispered.
I returned to my seat and exhaled slowly. Alice took my hand again and squeezed gently, "You'll be okay." She whispered.
I'll be okay. I know that. I had no one left to lose.
A few of the officers stepped forward, gently lifting the flag from the coffin.
I gripped Alice's hand. It couldn't be over. Not yet. What kind of send of was this?
You chose this.
I was so wrapped up in my grief I hadn't planned for a proper funeral. A proper goodbye.
The nice officer stepped forward and began to sing Amazing Grace effortlessly. My breathing came in short shallow bursts as I tried to contain my sobs. It wasn't supposed to end this way.
"That saved a wretch like me…I once was lost but now am found…T'was blind but now I see…"
The officer stepped forward, handing me the Stars and Stripes folded into a perfect triangle. He placed it delicately in my hand and saluted.
I held the flag to my chest watching as my father's coffin disappeared behind the curtain.
"We've no less days to sing God's praise, than when we first begun."
The last note hung in the air, haunting the room.
Alice pulled me into a hug as I finally cried. Properly cried. Reliving all the sadness all over again.
I sat in Alice's car, staring blankly ahead.
"Are you hungry? We could go and get something to eat if you want." She chimed as she drove.
I shook my head, unable to find words. I still clung to the flag, holding it tight against my chest.
"Are you sure?"
I nodded meekly. I had no appetite.
"Do you want me to just take you home?"
Jeez, what was with her need to ask so many questions?
I sighed deeply and nodded, turning my head away from her. I just wanted to be left alone now, to wallow in my grief.
Alice continued to drive. She must've got the message because she never spoke again. I was grateful for the silence.
Some of the officers were going for a drink afterward, they invited me along. But I politely declined. Like I said, I wanted to be alone and drinking with my father's ex colleagues wasn't something I was jumping at the chance to do.
"Here we go." Alice pulled up outside my house and smiled, "Do you want me to come in or…?"
I smiled softly and shook my head, "I think I want to be alone." I answered, finally finding my voice.
Alice nodded, "Okay. I'll see you at school then? When will you be back?"
"Probably Wednesday."I responded, getting out the car. That would give me enough time to process everything. "Thanks for today, Al. I couldn't have survived it without you."
"Anytime." She smiled and waited until I got into the house before driving off.
I turned my phone off and made my way up the stairs, into my father's almost empty room.
I placed the flag on his chest of drawers and sighed. Everything was so final now.
Wednesday.
I dragged my ass out of bed and turned on the shower. It was time to get back to school. Back to normalcy. Back to a huge pile of homework.
I stepped into the shower and shivered as the hot water touched my skin.
I still hadn't heard from Edward. Or Jake for that matter. I shrugged it off, if Jake had gotten to Edward I was sure someone would have told me by now. I wasn't going to worry about it. I'm taking a leaf from Edward's book and not giving a fuck.
I dressed quickly, throwing on black skinny jeans and a red top. I tied my hair up and grabbed a poptart from the cupboard.
I was rather excited about going back to school. I lifted my phone from the kitchen table and froze, poptart in mouth, at the text.
"You picked the wrong day to go back to school, pretty girl."
I looked around the kitchen, peering out of the windows. Was he watching me? How did he know I was going back today?
Fucking Jacob Black.
I drew in a deep calming breath and made my way to the front door. Fuck him. I wasn't going to hide away.
I hesitantly opened the front door and peeked outside.
My phone vibrated in my pocket causing me to jump about eighty feet in the air.
"Hello?" I croaked. I silently cursed myself realising I never checked the caller ID.
"Hey, I'm picking you up for school. Be ready in five minutes." Alice sang down the phoned. I breathed a sigh of relief.
"Okay." I hung up and shut the front door, leaning my back against it.
Take a breath.
"Are you okay? You seem a bit on edge?" Alice commented as she drove toward school.
I cleared my throat and nodded, "Fine." I lied. I was eager to get to school to make sure Edward was okay. Did he get a text too? I chewed down on my lip as we pulled into the school parking lot, my eyes sweeping the lot, looking for him.
I got out and leaned against Alice's car. I couldn't see him.
"Are you coming?" Alice asked, watching me curiously.
I shook my head, "I'm just gonna stay out here until the bell." I smiled, reassuring her that everything was okay. She shrugged and turned away, skipping over to Jasper who gave me a small wave.
Anxiety bubbled inside me.
Not giving a fuck is working out well…
I cursed myself. Something always fucks up my plans.
I checked the time on my watch and began bouncing up and down impatiently. Where the fuck was he?
"Damn you, Cullen." I muttered.
I began walking toward the entrance of the school and that's when I spotted Emmett's car. Emmett shut the door after him, Edward slammed his door shut and began walking with Emmett toward the entrance.
He was okay.
I don't know what fucking possessed me but I shouted his name. Edward stopped dead and turned around slowly. He looked tired and angry. Shit.
Emmett mumbled something to Edward. I reached them then, Emmett sighed deeply and went inside, leaving Edward and I.
"What?" He sighed. He looked so pissed off. I almost regretted shouting on him.
"Are you okay?" Without a second thought, I took hold of his face and began examining him, looking for any sign that Jake had gotten to him.
Edward grabbed my wrists, pushing me away from him, "I'm fine!" He growled, "Stay the fuck away from me, Swan."
Ouch.
I hadn't expected that.
"But-"
"But nothing." Edward shook his head and scoffed, "You fucked everything. You could have just told me the truth instead of pulling me along like…" He clenched his jaw, shaking his head. I felt fucking stupid.
He narrowed his cold, uninterested eyes at me, "It's over now. I was there for you, I tried to help you. But you didn't want to accept that. We're done. Whatever we were, it's over. You're on your own."
The tears threatened. I swallowed the lump in my throat. I had really fucked this up. Didn't he listen to my voicemails?
He has a point.
He was right, I'll admit. I never gave him the time of day when I first got here. I never allowed him to show he cared.
"Edward…" I whispered. I had to make this right.
"You need to make up your God damn mind, Swan." He spat, looking away from me, "Call me when you're fucking sober." He turned away from me and marched inside, leaving me embarrassed and feeling so fucking worthless.
His words rang loud in my head. I had really hurt him. I didn't think I could hurt him so badly.
Well done.
I sat next to Alice in Biology, staring at the back of Edward's head, willing him to turn around. He needed to let me explain. We needed to have a proper talk. I needed to warn him about Jake.
He shifted in his seat and for a fleeting moment I thought he was going to turn around and flash me his crooked smile. But he didn't. He turned to window, gazing outside.
"Mr Cullen, would you like to graduate?" Mr. Banner stood at Edward's desk, glaring heavily at him.
"I guess." Edward answered, shrugging indifferently.
"Then pay attention please. You're already behind." Mr. Banner muttered, returning to his desk, "As I was saying, blood glucose levels are extremely important for many reasons. Can anyone tell me what number your blood sugars should be?"
Alice bounced in her seat, hand in the air.
"Miss. Brandon?"
"Between seventy and ninety nine milligrams." Alice answered, matter of factory.
Mr. Banner nodded and took a seat at his desk, "Since this is a double period, after lunch you will all be testing your blood sugars. Nothing to be afraid of. Just a small prick on your finger." He smiled widely at the class.
I held my breath. Blood. Great.
I sat uncomfortably at lunch with Alice and Rosalie.
"Glad you're back." Rosalie smiled at me, "How are you?"
"I'm okay." I answered, "Did I miss much in art?"
Rosalie scoffed and shook her head, "Not really. Just painting more shit. That's about it." She turned her attention to her salad, signalling that the conversation was over.
Emmett and Jasper joined us then. No Edward.
Emmett shot me a curious look before giving me a small smile. I fumbled with the napkin in my lap and took a deep breath as their lunchtime chatter filled my ears.
Jasper cleared his throat and smiled kindly at me, "Nice to see you, Bella."
I smiled in return. I didn't answer. What could I say to that anyway? Thanks?
Rosalie sighed deeply and began chatting to Alice about a recent shopping trip she went on with her mother and how awful it was.
"She takes forever in stores, Al. I was waiting for like half an hour in one of them." Rosalie shook her head in disgust.
Emmett chuckled, "I know that feeling."
"Remember we have that blood sugar thing to do after lunch, Bella." Alice said, frowning at me, "You should probably eat something."
I shrugged, "I'm not really that hungry."
Not hungry and not comfortable. I wished Edward was sitting with us. He would put me at ease. Couldn't he stand to be in the same room as me?
The thought itself made me tear up. I felt so empty without his stupid face everywhere.
"I'll be back soon." Jasper announced, standing up. He kissed the top of Alice's head and marched out toward the lockers.
"Are you sure you're okay?" Alice asked quietly.
I nodded, "Fine."
Far from it actually.
My phone buzzed in my pocket and dread washed over me instantly.
I pulled my phone out and stared blankly at the text.
"Show time."
He was here. Jake was here.
I snapped my attention to Alice, "Where's Edward?" I demanded.
Alice's eyes widened in shock at my sudden outburst, "Um…I don't know."
"What's wrong?" Emmett asked.
I quickly stood, "Shit!" I hissed. Emmett stood, realisation dawning on him.
"Let's go." He muttered.
"What's going on?" Rosalie called after us.
I quickly followed behind Emmett as he walked out of the cafeteria, ignoring Rosalie.
"He's here." I said to Emmett.
He nodded and glanced back at me, "We need to find Edward."
No shit, Sherlock.